Title: tonight [say when]
Author: holycitygirl [holycitygirl]
Rating: pg-13
Length: 1463 words
Disclaimer: not mine, the boys are real and none of this happened
Warnings: none
Prompt: none, other than the overall prompt of "performance"
Notes: in the spirit of new comms, new challenges, new things - i'm posting on dreamwidth. i don't know how i feel about that.
Summary: kradam first time hook up, same as it ever was




[x]

The thought never crosses his mind that Kris might be doing this on purpose, putting on a show for him - and him only - in this crowded room. His ego isn't that big. It's been too long since they were close enough to imagine that even half of the most ridiculous things that Kris does are because -or for- him.

Gone are the days of shared tours and shared living space. Now it's just this few and far between, these outings where they either accidentally -or on purpose- run into each other at other people's parties.

He only vaguely expected that tonight might be one of those run ins. The guy throwing the party isn't either one of their friends. When he headed for the trendy bar, Adam couldn't really remember whether Kris was still in New York or back in L.A. He hadn't gone so far as to actually check a calendar.

He's wearing a pair of pants that he knows he looks good in, jewelry that is new and outrageous enough to demand Kris' curiosity, but that's mostly a coincidence, mostly due to the fact that he's rich enough now to throw out anything that falls short of that lofty goal.

Kris -on the other hand- looks like he got dressed with an agenda. He's not wearing the jeans of the month or just any old t-shirt he found in the hamper. There's something about the cut of the slightly tight black pants and the worn quality of the leather jacket stretching over those well-worked arms. The white shirt underneath looks brand new, but made for him.

Kris is smiling like the whole world is his for the taking. Adam can tell, even though he hasn't turned around, because that's Kris' new thing. His joie de vivre is neon with new bulbs, broadcasting "open" with a decided hum.

If you get close enough, dare to touch, you can feel the heat coming in waves.

The thought never crosses Adam's mind that Kris might be doing this on purpose, slowly winding him up and pulling him in.

Just the same, it's working.

[x]

Kris knows the second Adam walks in. He always has. It's a siren song, Adam's footfalls. His "Hey", a tuning fork vibrating seconds before finding the right key - making Kris feel like he needs to listen and adjust strings before he can say "Hey" back.

If he still wants to reach out, take hold, it's only in that way he always did. The question of "what then" is the paralyzing force that's forced him into this life of limbo.

He waited too long, protested too much. If it happens now, it has to be Adam's choice.

Kris plans on giving Adam a reason to make it. These clothes and the bright smile is only step one.

"So how far behind am I?" Adam asks, squeezing into the space to Kris' left.

He makes a point of turning in the opposite direction from the guy he was talking to before Adam arrived, adds a second of hesitation even though he's more than a bit relieved now that the reason he bothered coming finally arrived.

Kris scrunches up his face like he can't quite remember, holds up three fingers and says, "Two beers."

Adam laughs.

It's enough like the old days to create a lovely feeling of nostalgia, followed quickly by a melancholy that wraps around his heart like a fist. Kris has to stare just a little at Adam's jawline when Adam looks away to signal the bartender. Has to lick his lips and remind himself that he's perfectly capable of waiting.

"So what do you think?" He prompts, when Adam returns his focus. "My stylist swears that I don't look like I'm trying too hard."

The way Adam's eyes trail a path from the tips of his product styled hair to the polished leather of his expensive shoes is deliberate, but not as deliberate as the way Kris forces his body to stay loose to allow it. There's no blushing like the old days, no step back for the sake of both of their sanity. There's no step in to hide from what he really feels in a friendly hug.

Kris holds steady and it's a bigger performance than he's ever given - this facade of unaffected.

"Depends on what you are trying to do." Adam jokes, "Trying to be someone you aren't? No, I think this suits you. Trying to look amazing? Then yeah, you could have come in a sack."

It's that sort of thing that still makes Kris weak in the knees, the sweetness that Kris never expects because it's so hard to believe -when Adam isn't around to prove him wrong- that he isn't viewing the past with rose colored glasses.

"Good, I'm glad you approve." He says and means it. "Maybe I'll try that sack thing later."

He just got back yesterday and almost stayed home, but this chance was too good to pass up.

Kris knew he had to try, had to see how far Adam is willing to go.

[x]

Adam does catch up. Kris slows down and by the time the party is winding down they've had a few too many a piece.

Somehow or other they decide to share a cab and, for one reason or another, when it stops at Kris' place first Adam gets out too.

A part of his brain insists that he's just tired and Kris' couch is comfortable, but that part of Adam is the biggest fucking liar. It's been screaming at him all night to take the bait, promising him that he won't be disappointed.

That part of Adam follows Kris to his bedroom and takes a seat on the end of his bed. "This okay?"

Kris' words aren't slurred at all, and for a second Adam feels a little duped.

"Of course, stay."

Adam's head swirls in the most pleasant of ways though. When Kris winks the feeling passes.

"Not like we haven't done this before."

Except that isn't the truth either. They haven't. Not quite like this. He hasn't been this close to giving in, not when Kris was this close to giving it up.

Adam has never been here -watching Kris take his clothes off like he's doing it for -because of- him. "What are you doing?"

Kris' answer is instantaneous. "I have no idea."

He doesn't stop. Their eyes lock and suddenly it's the Kris show again. Adam can't look away.

The jacket is the first to go, then the shoes - kicked off, taking black socks with them. By the time it's just pants, naked chest and that necklace Kris wears like a tattoo, Adam can't breathe normally. It feels less like a strip tease and more like an offering.

Adam wants it too much to take it like this. He needs more than actions, even loud ones. "Kris-"

Hand to Kris' God he's going to say "No" when Kris steps closer and the feeling of Kris' forehead touching his produces the most confident "Yes" Adam has ever felt.

It's better than the high of the biggest spotlight, the loudest pop of any audience screaming their approval, - the first kiss that Kris gives like they are both on stage, like it's going to be judged and he wants to win.

"I'm sorry." Kris says, pushing Adam down and climbing on top of him.

Adam lets his eyes ask, "For what".

"This took entirely too long to happen."

The confession is something Adam feels strongly enough to believe.

There's no act in what comes next, nothing but Kris making it perfectly clear that this is all for Adam.

[x]

Kris wakes up in Adam's arms and he has to wake Adam up too. Has to remind himself that where they are is where they both want to stay.

"Good morning." He says, when Adam's eyes get a little huge at the realization that it wasn't all a dream. "Yeah, don't hate me because I got you drunk and took advantage."

To his credit Adam adjusts fast, flips them over so Kris is on the bottom looking up - "You've been running around for months, looking good enough to eat, flirting with anything that moves - trying to tempt me?"

"Fake it 'til you make it. It worked."

Adam laughs, leaning down to bite Kris' bottom lip.

Kris hears himself groan, two seconds before Adam echoes the sound and the deepens the kiss. It doesn't feel like a missed opportunity regained. It kind of feels like this is the way it was always going to happen.

Like everything they've been through up to this point was dress rehearsal, practice for a big break that will change their lives.



[end]