what if i told uou we could have so much more you and i

media: we have an anti-authoritarian story for you!

me: sweet hit me with the good stuff

media: so there's this marginalized underclass of people, right?

me: okay

media: and they're like, stigmatized for something that's mostly an aspect of how they are born, or where they're from, or they're badly misunderstood, right?

me: yup, got it, I'm with ya

media: so these people are rebelling against the current social order, because it's the instrument of their suffering

me: oh good great sure

media: but also they're violent and deranged and need to be stopped

me: ...what

media: yeah they're going too far, they're trying to overthrow the system and assassinate the nice cop trying to help them and also they burned down an orphanage

me: ...why? would they burn down an orphanage??

media: extremism is bad

me: still not seeing what this has to do with their fight though???

media: also now they've shot a dog. oops they shot another dog

me: what?! why? I though their motive was to overthrow oppression??

media: yes but their suffering has also made them evil

me: ...???

media: don't worry though, the good guys will defeat them and restore the status quo

me: the status quo that's been killing people?

media: well it turns out it was only killing the kinds of awful people who burn down orphanages and shoot dogs :)

me: oh. this is actually a pro-authoritarian story, isn't it?

media: nooo of course not don't be sillyyyyyy we're super progressive look one of the cops is a black lady don't be sillyyyyyy

My stupid poser kidnapper wants to show me my missing person's poster but I don't think they do those any more and I kept saying this but they wouldn't listen until they wordlessly handed me a printout of a bbc article talking about it. They want to compose a ransom note with newspaper type but don't know how to buy newspapers as someone under 60 without looking suspicious. The other day I saw in the fridge a carton of oat milk with a home-printed photo of me obviously taken by them awkwardly glued to the side. I don't even get a basement. This is a one-bedroom flat.

I know that “fwiw” means “for what it’s worth.” I know that. But every time I read it, my brain translates it to “fwom what I wemembew”

Shitty things about being isekaied #34; every time I use the restroom I automatically reach for my phone I left in my jacket pocket back on earth, and my hand goes exactly where I keep my knives on my belt, so I always walk out of the john with a fresh hand wound

Shitty things about being isekaied #49: dog came with me but the magic field uplifted her into an anime girl and I'm realizing our personalities just don't click (plus her sitting on my lap is weird now)

Shitty things about being isekaied #64: the town blacksmith is an elf named Gay Simpson and I couldnt explain why that made me laugh and now she won't fix my weapons anymore

Shitty things about being isekaied #75: my degree in russian lit is useless now

Shitty things about being isekaied #83: the four dark lords of this world look almost identical to abba which cant be intentional but when they line up on horseback its so uncanny i cant help but wonder if someones fucking with me

Shitty things about being isekaied #94: they dont make my meds here and health potions dont do shit for bipolar

Shitty things about being isekaied #102: finally met another earthling but hes like half my age so we dont have anything in common. somewhere along the line he got turned into a musclebound wolfman and every time i ask about it he gets super smug and refuses to tell me how it happened

I have bad news about the degree in Russian lit here as well.

the word incel was fiurst uttered by a woman Femcel shouldn't be a word It's like chipmunks vs chipettes they're all fucking chipmunks Why are we pointlessly gendering them. also i never really got their deal. the chipettes were first presented as love interests and they made it very clear the chipmunks were climbing the tree over them but then dave adopted the chipettes and treated them like his kids too which you think would make it a little awkward when it comes to endeavors revolving around macking on any twinclones but it didn't stop any of that in the slightest the chipmunks are some sick fucking freaks. what i'm really getting at is that anyone can be an incel if they really put their heart into it but i do think we should find an appropriate word replacement for describing the type of human that the term Femcel entails

Today's Nonbinary Character Is:

Pioneer 9 from 17776!

Pioneer 9 uses they/them pronouns.

It's important to note that Chekhov's Gun was not originally about foreshadowing, but a piece of advice to playwrights about how every element in a play should have narrative relevance. The corollary to Chekhov's Gun is that if a gun mounted on the wall in act 1 is never used at all in the entirety of the play, then it should be omitted from the play entirely.

also very true

3rd place in a 1v1 🥀

diy flowery soundboard

animated a krusie moment... can't believe this is a real scene that happens

i just rescued a pill bug they’re gonna reward me with a million pill bucks i’m gonna be a fucking pillionaire

💵🫲}([[[[[)

I JUST MADE ONE PILLION DOLLARS

They say the eyes are windows to the SOUL