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Let's get rid of some paper clutter...

Lemon Basil Marinade:
Mix 1/2 c. olive oil, 1/4 c. lemon juice, 2 tbsp white whine vinegar, 1 tsp lemon zest, 2 cloves of garlic, salt and pepper, 1/2 c chopped fresh basil or 1 tbsp dried basil.

Brown Rice Pudding(the good one!)
Mix 2 c. milk, 2 egg whites, 1/2 tsp cinnamon, 1/2 tsp vanilla in blender.
Grease 8x10 baking dish, preheat oven to 350.
Mix 1 c. COOKED brown rice, 1/2 c. raisins and vanilla mixture.
Bake for 35-40 min.

Zucchini Dill Soup:
Sautee chopped onions and grated zucchini in butter till soft. Add stock, boil and reduce to simmer. Puree in blender til smooth. Add plain yogurt, ricotta cheese or sour cream while blending for creamier consistency if desired. Add salt, pepper, dill to taste.

Spicy Grilled Prok with Peach Marmalade:

1/4 c. peach preserves, garlic, olive oil, soy sauce, dry mustard, cayenne, salt.
Coat thin pork chops with marmalade and grill. Marmalade will burn. Grill fresh halved peaches, flesh side down, pits removed until starting to brown and soften.

Whole Wheat Pancakes:

2 c. WW flour
3 tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt
2 c. milk
3 tsp baking powder
2 eggs
5 tbsp applesauce
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Acronym sandwiches.

Because I love food and word games.

STAB, spinach, tomato, avocado, bacon.
TACT, turkey, avocado, cheese, tomato.
TRAP, turkey, roasted red pepper, avocado, pesto.
GAP, graham cracker, apple, peanut butter.
SPERM, spinach, peppers, egg, red onion, mushroom.
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My mother just hurt me.

She didn't mean to. It is more like I hurt myself with her help. She had the freezer door open and I stood up and hit my head on it. It didn't really hurt that much but I did fall back down on the floor. She closes the freezer door and says "oh Kira!" with the most concerned tone. She rushed at me on the floor like she was going to scoop me up to hug and heal me.
I snapped at her. I said "get away from me" in, apparently, a very harsh way. Now it is common knowledge I don't like to be touched and physically comforted when I am ill or hurt, it is just my way. Not to mention hers. So from her to reel back and start crying from my reaction and scream "fuck you!" was a bit unwarranted. I am angry from the whole encounter and still sitting on the floor and I ask her what SHE should be blubbering about. "Blubbering?! FUCK YOU!" she says. Proceeding to cry more and leave the house in her car.
What I didn't realize until after I got up off the floor, fairly unharmed physically, was that my immediate reaction was a direct response of her full blown, unabashed concern. I have not seen such emotion regarding me in years. This is what made me furious. The fact that her accidently hurting me, in what could have been a big way, was the required catalyst for such an outpouring. It is why I cry now. I am not at all injured. I'm simply devastated that I have not been to receive at all what I need from her. I was pissed off when she offered it at that moment because I crave it so much more than I realize. I am angry and so upset that I can't ever see that any other time. It is like some safely guarded secret treasure. And it can only be elicited when you think you have done me harm? No, FUCK YOU.
I am heartbroken to come to this realization. I am surrounded by my mother every day. She is always here. Every fucking minute. Yet the thing that I want most from her is the affection that she can't seem to give. I'm overwhelmed and yet so needy. And I'm so fucking incensed about it.