kira_k

It only really makes sense after S6E20 but there are no spoilers.
Hurt/Comfort drabble (exactly 100 words) strong on the COMFORT.
Because Sam ♥ Dean (brotherly, I mean.)

Gonna put it on kira_k_fics as well. Later. When I find a good title for it.

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Fuckity fuck. Hysteric kira_k is hysteric. Fuck.
~~~

Nobody could have foreseen it. Not the Boss, not his mistress, not the other clans' heads. It didn't make the litany of "should'veknown!" disappear, the unpredictability didn't make the pain or hurt any less; it didn't make his chances of survival better.

Kemnebi swallowed back the pain and blood and tried to straighten himself as much as he could; his useless, much-forgotten pride demanded it. If he had to die, he would die looking into his killer's eyes. The traitor stepped closer and Kemnebi lurched forward; one desperate bid for freedom, for life.

-pain

Fire running through his veins, Kemnebi crashed to the ground. The darkness didn't bring relief, just more pain and his last coherent thought was bitter and cowardly - calling for death to escape it.

~end~

I have a very strong aversion against being forced. Being pressured into doing things. I hate this because that means I'll resist even the best intentions if it comes off as something I _must_ do. but I'll resist until my last breath. Back off, let me wallow in peace and I promise I'll do it out of my own free will.

also, supernatural ep 19. I've four words: Gaiman did it better.
Good idea so-so writing. And too much use of the "rule of cool" instead of "thinking things through."...

100 words. Worksafe, gen, english. Spoilers for the ending of season 2, and the beginning of season 5 of Supernatural. I'm almost me - Voltaire: Almost Human

Comment there.

to some people, all around the world:
thankyouverymuch for making my life just a tad bit harder.
thankyouverymuch for fucking me over.
thankyouverymuch for not caring.


and to my family and friends:
thank you very much for making my life easier
thank you very much for helping me out.
thank you very much for caring.

... Because my life isn't dark and depressive, because i DO have people who care about me, and help me and because the sun shines above the clouds and i know i am capable of being happy. even if it doesn't look like that at the moment. Even if I need reminding now and then. I do try.

Five more days before I can sit down and cry and sleep and not care about the university for the next month. I have plans for the weekend. (Which won't be done because I'll be over the deadline and I'll try to make sure that my thesis can be handed in at Monday, too. Let's hope the environmental management&economics dep is still the same student-friendly as it was.)

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Also, I want to write an essay about Jack Harkness and his relationships about how none of his loves are equals - the Doctor clearly has Jack's heart and never wanted it but team Torchwood is infatuated with Jack and Jack while accepts it cannot reciprocate the whole gradient of feelings. Even when he falls in love with somebody he cannot give himself to them. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing but it screams inequality.

And the Doctor - thanks to Jack's wrongness and the Doctor's own ANGST - will never be the one who sweeps Jack off his legs. The ninth Doctor was too damaged to do it, and that (mortal) Jack was damaged as well though he was way saner than the immortal one. Also, mortal!Jack never needed the Doctor the way immortal!Jack needs him. ... Let's hope Eleven can get over the problem of having a fixed point in time.

Most probably the true equals of Jack are his one-night-stands.

And maybe John Hart but Captain Hart has a needy character flaw and he is probably still in love with Jack while Jack is only fond of him. (Unfortunate side effect of differing timescales. For Jack it was more than a century. For John it was probably less than a decade.)

And the beauty of human relationship drama is they are all valid feelings in their own POVs, and Jack would have to be a different man to be able to open up about himself, to be accepting of his immortality and... and he would be destroyed every time his lover(s) died. He needs to protect himself - first instinct of any human - and I'd guess he did destroy himself a few times before deciding to not do it again. And that is why he is even more in love with the Doctor. The Doctor is another immortal (or close enough); and despite the changes, the Doctor wouldn't die on him just after a few years. And maybe-maybe-maybe, Jack hopes he would die when the Doctor dies at last.


I still don't think the Face of Boe thing is Jack. Or if it is him - then Rose/the timevortex failed something awful at "I bring life". Fixed point in time means constant. Means no change. Also, s3 day 1 taught us Jack would regenerate from anything. Regrew his limbs and hair and teeth even when the original tissue is missing. I'd think if he was quartered his head could be put into a big bowl and he could be forced to stop regrowing the limbs and heart and lungs and other necessary things... but well. No thank you.

[Gave in and edited the capital letters in. It's annoying to be a grammar!nazi. :P]

I am in a bit of a stasis - again. I hate how the time flows through my fingers and how I don't do anything worthwhile; and at the very same time I'm lazy and don't want to do anything.

I need to lose weight.
I need to write my thesis.
I need to work.
I need to work with the MAT.
I need to move more.

And what do I do? Read. Sit on my arse. Make stupid mistakes. Snarl at my family. Ignore the problems - mine and everybody else's, too. Damn it all. Damn it all to the seventh hell.

also. survived the Valentines'; and my cynicism reached new levels. I dislike being a cynic. Because it means all my dreams are broken. I broke them.

Sometimes, I wonder why didn't we yet kill everybody? It would solve a lot of problems. And we'd have "Peace on earth, goodwill to men". After all, we do pity and love the extinct species.


Voltaire: Almost Human



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... is no fun when you can't breathe.
Bought to you by today's experience.

Seeing as I am well enough to blog about this, it couldn't be that bad, but I've a nasty feeling that the experience will repeat tomorrow and the day after, just like I woke to something similar at yesterday. But no matter. I'm still alive.

(Actually the blog entry is here to show you all, I'm still alive; not to make anybody panic but I was having fun with the broken subject and first lines.
Still alive but busy: we spent the last few days tidying up the garden, the terrace and the garage.)

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Soo~~

I watched it. It was surprisingly good. The dialogue was cheesy sometimes but damn if he was not classic Nick Fury. Reminded me why I loved the old Knight Rider. <3
And surprisingly - the women were there for more than eyecandy. The Countessa was capable, a teamleader on her own right; Kate was cool as well. And Andrea was a good old fashioned mad overlordlady; who had plans within plans and loved to yank SHIELD's and Col. Fury's chain. xD

I think this might be the case of "so bad it is good" but I am actually not sure. Anyway, I loved it. Fury's characterisation? Was good. The action was nice, even though it wasn't such a big budget film. The technology? The heli-carrier was drool worthy even if it was boring military grey and resembling more of a submarine than it's healthy; the computers and other things were... well it was created in 1998.

The one-liners were painful sometimes but what really grated on my nerves was the horrible accent of Andrea's. But well. You can't have a neo-Nazi Hydra leader with perfect English. xD (At least I found some English subtitles so I wasn't left blinking too many times..)