Do you know...
Some mornings, some days, some nights, I am greatful for knowing Joan.
She keeps me alive.
F**k cancer and mental health issues in the ass.
She keeps me alive.
F**k cancer and mental health issues in the ass.
Facebook...
Gods, it's bloody irritating to use. When money people take charge of things I guess.
Back after a few months away battling with my brains.
... 15 odd messages, friends requests, million of notifications...
Loads to see, but not much to contribute...
Back after a few months away battling with my brains.
... 15 odd messages, friends requests, million of notifications...
Loads to see, but not much to contribute...
Wow...
...so the new look is a bit different!!
So here's a game changer...
Well, I was declared bankrupt August 2011... And given an extended bankruptcy order to run for 4 years.
On a whim today I phoned up and said "So... Do I get a letter to tell me I discharged at the end of it?"
As basically... I'd like to try and make a go at emigrating. The first time I was immediately shot down for being a bankrupt.
So... In that enquiry it was revealed that I was given an early discharge in February 2013. And indeed, they don't tell you.
Well... F**k.
I am still subject to restrictions of not being a director, or adopt children, or be an insolvency practitioner till June this year (again, early).
But...
Feck.
This is a game changer.
I've lived my life as a bankrupt and within the confines of being a bankrupt... But I could have spent the last year re-building my credit rating.
I bloody am now!!
I've yet to digest what this means for lifes plan... I've got no one to talk to about the implications without a judgement on things.
But I've got alot to consider.
So... Bankruptcy will come off my credit history in February 2019...
Blimey...
Certainly now business shut down plans can accelerate.
On a whim today I phoned up and said "So... Do I get a letter to tell me I discharged at the end of it?"
As basically... I'd like to try and make a go at emigrating. The first time I was immediately shot down for being a bankrupt.
So... In that enquiry it was revealed that I was given an early discharge in February 2013. And indeed, they don't tell you.
Well... F**k.
I am still subject to restrictions of not being a director, or adopt children, or be an insolvency practitioner till June this year (again, early).
But...
Feck.
This is a game changer.
I've lived my life as a bankrupt and within the confines of being a bankrupt... But I could have spent the last year re-building my credit rating.
I bloody am now!!
I've yet to digest what this means for lifes plan... I've got no one to talk to about the implications without a judgement on things.
But I've got alot to consider.
So... Bankruptcy will come off my credit history in February 2019...
Blimey...
Certainly now business shut down plans can accelerate.
Awkward conversation
Okay...
So... I'm not exactly in a dating place for another 9 months I guess at least.
But a woman got chatting with me... And we hit one of those TV esque moments of the immovable object with the unstoppable force.
Basically - The one thing in life left that I can get right yet is be a Dad. I want kids.
She - Can't. (mad medical reason).
I don't mind flirting. But I had to shut anything down further.
:-/
Feeling guilty about being harsh.
But.
I just can't not try.
I don't have enough years left to f**k about. I wasted my 20's. I've done a good job of blowing most of my 30's.
I want to be a new Dad by 40.
36 in May, I'll be knocking on 37 I reckon by the time I've executed an exit strategy successfully.
And then I've got to meet someone else who's not met the right person before now in a very large ocean of people who've had their kid allocation (Yes, I've got no problem with someone who has already got one kid, be it by plan or by mistake, it comes with the mid 30's territory).
I guess I'm over thinking it. I just got a weekend where I had a day off and my brain has been dwelling.
Ugh.
So fricking messed up.
No news on 1-2-1 CBT therapy appearing.
No time or money to go to Dr's and get more pills.
Oh well - Bedtime in an hour. 5am up. And once more unto the breech.
So... I'm not exactly in a dating place for another 9 months I guess at least.
But a woman got chatting with me... And we hit one of those TV esque moments of the immovable object with the unstoppable force.
Basically - The one thing in life left that I can get right yet is be a Dad. I want kids.
She - Can't. (mad medical reason).
I don't mind flirting. But I had to shut anything down further.
:-/
Feeling guilty about being harsh.
But.
I just can't not try.
I don't have enough years left to f**k about. I wasted my 20's. I've done a good job of blowing most of my 30's.
I want to be a new Dad by 40.
36 in May, I'll be knocking on 37 I reckon by the time I've executed an exit strategy successfully.
And then I've got to meet someone else who's not met the right person before now in a very large ocean of people who've had their kid allocation (Yes, I've got no problem with someone who has already got one kid, be it by plan or by mistake, it comes with the mid 30's territory).
I guess I'm over thinking it. I just got a weekend where I had a day off and my brain has been dwelling.
Ugh.
So fricking messed up.
No news on 1-2-1 CBT therapy appearing.
No time or money to go to Dr's and get more pills.
Oh well - Bedtime in an hour. 5am up. And once more unto the breech.
Today I'm not okay...
...but just need to keep on going...
Time to see the Doctors on Tuesday I guess.
Not been not so okay in a while.
:-/
Well... 5 months I suppose.
Bum.
So...
...when you are f**ked off with f**king life what do you do?
Roll on bankruptcy discharge.
Roll on bankruptcy discharge.
FML
That is all...
Life slipping through one's fingers like sand.
And for many things, I've got no choice but to wait till August next year to be discharged from bankruptcy.
36 and starting from scratch.
F depressing.
Pissed off at the wasted years and the roads travelled down that I really just shouldn't have.
Hey ho.
1015pm, better go home.
Life slipping through one's fingers like sand.
And for many things, I've got no choice but to wait till August next year to be discharged from bankruptcy.
36 and starting from scratch.
F depressing.
Pissed off at the wasted years and the roads travelled down that I really just shouldn't have.
Hey ho.
1015pm, better go home.
Life and work is falling apart...
...trying to self medicate yourself off anti depressants (slowly) has resulted in me losing the plot.
Big time.
Made the GP this morning, so back on them.
Just got to get over the terror of emails, text messages and voicemails of pissed off clients.
Feck.
I'm such a friggin mess.
Big time.
Made the GP this morning, so back on them.
Just got to get over the terror of emails, text messages and voicemails of pissed off clients.
Feck.
I'm such a friggin mess.
Gods I hate days like these...
There's a cloud in my brain, and my body has been robbed of all it's energy.
:-/
And I swear my anti depressants have got to the point of saturation, that they've robbed me of my drive to do anything at all.
Not to the level that Prozac did.
But I need to find something to combat it... (Which I know the easiest answer is exercise...)
:-/
And I swear my anti depressants have got to the point of saturation, that they've robbed me of my drive to do anything at all.
Not to the level that Prozac did.
But I need to find something to combat it... (Which I know the easiest answer is exercise...)