therapy yesterday, notes
We found someone named Mystesee, your guess as good as mine as to who named this person, or did she/he name self. (*)
Acting as a demon. We were looking for this since there was cutting on Xmas eve, that hasn't happened but for a few months in 1984. Maybe one other time, but not sure. Then MiLady, who knew, she's in charge of cutting. Sheesh.
Then Helling, she was apparently the one who stole the money. And The Midget. Who I saw last night and it wasn't a Hobbit. She was rather short for an adult tho, had very blonde hair. I went upstairs to her room or apartment and she went in the other room to get something. Then I woke up.
It was a funny dream, because it started out that I was lying on a couch (usually in a dream that is a sign I am being lied to). I picked up an orange and white kitten, and started to wipe something off its fur. It had the weirdest tail formation, sort of a misgrowth of the tail that was really unfortunate, it had a split in it right where it connected to the body. Like "Y" formation. Then there were a bunch of people around me, and I said, "is this it, am I in the system?" Meaning, I do not know what house I live in on the inside, or what community. This seemed to be a form of the house I live in now, but based on my memories of an earlier time in my life.
One of the people around me identified himself as "Uff". I went upstairs to -- Bellea's apartment, the Midget?
I did not find any money last night or today, did not have any thoughts of where it might me. I just have the feeling someone is either standing firm on spending it, or someone is really selfish and stupid.
Ben really needs help I think, someone is doing all kinds of stuff, losing the cap to his anointing oil, dumping coffee on a book he borrowed about R. Catholocism, so it's entirely possible he is really up to bad behavior. Someone did that before when he really was doing something quite contrary to what he professed to believe. And so this needs to be investigated further. As far as I know he is in the system of Elizabeth, and there are problems there. I am sure. I think it is with my dad and grandfather, brother.
Someone said the other day, "Si lied". There is a Terpsichore and a Polyhymnia in the system, two of the Greek Muses. I did like reading the Greek mythology stories, but had no idea they'd be all in there.
This is too much for one post, I feel like...but one last note, Hill has a puppy named Ping. White, grey ears. I was trying to explain to Es that I she named it after Mulan, but I just kept going and going.
A note about the couch in the dream, it's one the family of origin no longer owns, but at some point we think a mouse died in it and smelled it up, then must have dried up and the smell went away. But since we've been seeing it in our dreams, it seems to mean something smells funny.
And that happens to scare the crud out of me, and I hate that. I hate that I believe there are people in the system who are just not interested in my welfare much, that they are looking out for self and dragging system down. That is one of the things we're getting to in therapy, but of course it's more of a process than an event.
Acting as a demon. We were looking for this since there was cutting on Xmas eve, that hasn't happened but for a few months in 1984. Maybe one other time, but not sure. Then MiLady, who knew, she's in charge of cutting. Sheesh.
Then Helling, she was apparently the one who stole the money. And The Midget. Who I saw last night and it wasn't a Hobbit. She was rather short for an adult tho, had very blonde hair. I went upstairs to her room or apartment and she went in the other room to get something. Then I woke up.
It was a funny dream, because it started out that I was lying on a couch (usually in a dream that is a sign I am being lied to). I picked up an orange and white kitten, and started to wipe something off its fur. It had the weirdest tail formation, sort of a misgrowth of the tail that was really unfortunate, it had a split in it right where it connected to the body. Like "Y" formation. Then there were a bunch of people around me, and I said, "is this it, am I in the system?" Meaning, I do not know what house I live in on the inside, or what community. This seemed to be a form of the house I live in now, but based on my memories of an earlier time in my life.
One of the people around me identified himself as "Uff". I went upstairs to -- Bellea's apartment, the Midget?
I did not find any money last night or today, did not have any thoughts of where it might me. I just have the feeling someone is either standing firm on spending it, or someone is really selfish and stupid.
Ben really needs help I think, someone is doing all kinds of stuff, losing the cap to his anointing oil, dumping coffee on a book he borrowed about R. Catholocism, so it's entirely possible he is really up to bad behavior. Someone did that before when he really was doing something quite contrary to what he professed to believe. And so this needs to be investigated further. As far as I know he is in the system of Elizabeth, and there are problems there. I am sure. I think it is with my dad and grandfather, brother.
Someone said the other day, "Si lied". There is a Terpsichore and a Polyhymnia in the system, two of the Greek Muses. I did like reading the Greek mythology stories, but had no idea they'd be all in there.
This is too much for one post, I feel like...but one last note, Hill has a puppy named Ping. White, grey ears. I was trying to explain to Es that I she named it after Mulan, but I just kept going and going.
A note about the couch in the dream, it's one the family of origin no longer owns, but at some point we think a mouse died in it and smelled it up, then must have dried up and the smell went away. But since we've been seeing it in our dreams, it seems to mean something smells funny.
And that happens to scare the crud out of me, and I hate that. I hate that I believe there are people in the system who are just not interested in my welfare much, that they are looking out for self and dragging system down. That is one of the things we're getting to in therapy, but of course it's more of a process than an event.