(no subject)
I have bouts of insomnia, and it is driving me up the wall.
Tags: ...
In Pace Requiescat
Sahara Villanueva, December 20 1967 - May 15 2009.
Requiem æternam dona eis, Domine,
et lux perpetua luceat eis.
You died from something that could have been prevented.. and it's tragic that things ended up this way. The Cervical Cancer metastasized into your lungs and bone marrow, causing you low platelet counts and pneumonia and liquid filling your lungs.
This morning, after I had breakfast, I felt the urge to call my father. I wasn't sure why. I just called him up asking him to call me and he called me back and said that... she passed away. My auntie passed away an hour prior, without pain and with a serene smile on her face. And that's all that matters - that she passed away in peace.
But she was like a big sister to me and took care of me when my parents were unable to, who looked after me and my brother like we were her own children - because she didn't have her own, because she couldn't find the right man to look after her.
I remember when she first started taking chemotherapy for her cancer, she said that she was going to get better to see me graduate and be there at my wedding and see my children being born and I laughed and said that it was unlikely the latter two would happen.
And in a way, I knew this was going to happen - one way or another. I had a feeling that the day after I left and said goodbye to you, it probably was the last time I was going to see you.
I'm lost. Why does it have to be like this?
Requiem æternam dona eis, Domine,
et lux perpetua luceat eis.
You died from something that could have been prevented.. and it's tragic that things ended up this way. The Cervical Cancer metastasized into your lungs and bone marrow, causing you low platelet counts and pneumonia and liquid filling your lungs.
This morning, after I had breakfast, I felt the urge to call my father. I wasn't sure why. I just called him up asking him to call me and he called me back and said that... she passed away. My auntie passed away an hour prior, without pain and with a serene smile on her face. And that's all that matters - that she passed away in peace.
But she was like a big sister to me and took care of me when my parents were unable to, who looked after me and my brother like we were her own children - because she didn't have her own, because she couldn't find the right man to look after her.
I remember when she first started taking chemotherapy for her cancer, she said that she was going to get better to see me graduate and be there at my wedding and see my children being born and I laughed and said that it was unlikely the latter two would happen.
And in a way, I knew this was going to happen - one way or another. I had a feeling that the day after I left and said goodbye to you, it probably was the last time I was going to see you.
I'm lost. Why does it have to be like this?
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numb
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(no subject)
Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me...
I miss all of you.
I miss all of you.
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pensive
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(no subject)
Shit. Piss. Fuck. Cunt. Cocksucker. Motherfucker. Tits. (Auxilliaries: Fart, turd, twat.)
Requiescat in pace George Carlin, the man whose comedy show taught me all the swear words I know with their proper usage.
Requiescat in pace George Carlin, the man whose comedy show taught me all the swear words I know with their proper usage.
The Kübler-Ross model is not just for grief.
1. Denial
"No, that did not just happen."
2. Anger
"You idiot, it's your fault for making me like this!"
3. Bargaining
"If I stuff myself with sugar, maybe that'll drive my weird feelings away, right? Please let these feelings sort themselves out without me being in agony."
4. Depression
"Who the hell am I?"
5. Acceptance:
"I love you, I love you, I can't help it
And I don't care about the details in doing so"
And once again, all is right with the world.
Why. I don't get it.
"No, that did not just happen."
2. Anger
"You idiot, it's your fault for making me like this!"
3. Bargaining
"If I stuff myself with sugar, maybe that'll drive my weird feelings away, right? Please let these feelings sort themselves out without me being in agony."
4. Depression
"Who the hell am I?"
5. Acceptance:
"I love you, I love you, I can't help it
And I don't care about the details in doing so"
And once again, all is right with the world.
Why. I don't get it.
(no subject)
I'm not quite sure how I did it, but I managed to spill a whole bunch of hot frying oil all over my toes of my left foot. I effectively have fried toes.
They're not septic, the skin just looks a little crunchy. This has effectively turned me off cannibalism, as even if I were desperate for food - just thinking of my fried toes is enough to turn me off that concept for a looong while.
I'm pretty sure it's not lupus, by the way.
They're not septic, the skin just looks a little crunchy. This has effectively turned me off cannibalism, as even if I were desperate for food - just thinking of my fried toes is enough to turn me off that concept for a looong while.
I'm pretty sure it's not lupus, by the way.