kettunainen, posts by tag: elimination communication - LiveJournal

So far, it's not as bad as I anticipated. Then again, optimystik is still at home. I'm trying not to be resentful that his company doesn't top up parental leave. He's using his paid vacation to stay at home. I've had to remind him that he's using vacation but this is not a vacation. I hope that it helps him feel less shitty about not getting a vacation.

I need to instill a routine in my days or suffer malnutrition and insanity once my help is at the office.

If you have volunteered to bring food to me or to help out during the weekday, your help/food/company will be most appreciated starting June 28th.

New thing I didn't experience the first time: evening fussiness. It's not gas/lower GI discomfort. It's likely tiredness and suddenly forgetting how to get back to sleep. I think I birthed a cat -- this baby's asleep for about 20-22 hours a day, it seems. I expect that's somewhat normal; it's just been nearly three years since being around a newborn. But every night between 7-8, he wakes up from a long nap and suddenly freaks the fuck out. Swaddling, bum pats, nursing, swaying, shushing eventually all work to get him to fall asleep again (and STAY asleep!), but it still takes a couple of hours. Every night. grar.

The elder boy is slowly adjusting. Mostly pretty good with the baby, slowly getting better with us... less acting out and more cooperation.

Mom and sis are coming on the weekend and staying for about a week. It'll be my sis's first time visiting me and also her first venture out of hell the US. A dear friend is taking her to the Hot Box Cafe on Sunday. Mom will be with me and the boys. N will be at the cafe with friend and sis.

We're ECing already and catch most poos and some pees. Sooo much better than cleaning him up with wipes. Pooing straight into the tub (breastfed babies have liquidy-runny poo until they start solids, so it washes down the drain super easily) results in far less mess than pooing in his diaper. And I'm able to clean him up in the sink rather than using any sort of wipe on him at all.

His signals are fairly clear to me (screams and cries with pee and grunts for awhile with poo), and it's easier the second time around because I don't ignore my gut that says "he's gotta pee/poo" nearly as much as I did with the fire child. It's also great that he starts fussing in the bathroom when he's completely finished with his bowel and bladder functions because then I'm sure he's done and can clean him up without wondering if he's going to start pooing again while I've got him over the sink. Super clear signals (for now). yay!

He's now nursing like his brother: 15-45 minutes at a go, so hopefully he's gaining nicely. It took him awhile to start nursing much at all so he didn't start out gaining much. I'll find out next Thursday how much progress he's made. His output is certainly up to par. *g*

I ventured out with the two boys by myself last Thursday for a LLL meeting and some errands afterwards. That went better than expected, though maybe I had fairly low expectations... And I've survived about 5 hours caring for the boys on my own less than a week after the birth (of course, those 5 hours were broken up and misslynx had the fire child for several hours in between. That was a shitty day. Literally. The little wolfling had a veritable explosion of bodily fluids while lying on the bed and while cleaning up, I discovered that the waterproof mattress cover was no longer waterproof. O_O So I stripped the bed, called N to request a new waterproof mattress cover and spent the day wishing I could lie down somewhere but not being able to. I know it could have been worse, but it was definitely on the more craptastic side of things.

I'm hoping to make room for a moses basket and rocking stand that a friend has offered. Just need tehjos to come by and pick up some stuff we've set aside for her. Hoping for Thursday eve.

It still seems rather surreal to me that I have two kids. The wolfling will be three weeks old in about 13 hours. Goddamn, that was an awesome birth. :D

I just discovered a podcast of Mayim Bialik (from Blossom): she's now a super crunchy mom of two and she uses Elimination Communication with her two sons!

I think that's totally fantastic!

He's walking now. Pretty much full time, too. Yay! I thought he'd be an early walker because I was and so was optimystik, and because he was an early crawler (5.5 months!). But his crawling was too efficient for him to give a shit about other modes of transportation. At least he took his first step about a week before his first birthday. That makes me happy.

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He's learning to feed himself with a spoon. It's definitely slow-going. He is full of hugs and sunshine (when he's well-rested and not teething), and he's a total ham for the camera. Oh, teeth. Still has only the top four and bottom four. Three molars are bulging beneath the surface, though. ugh. And his teething necklace broke after about a year of hardcore wear and tear. A new one is on its way to us and I hope it gets here soon.

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He's growing like crazy and needs cold weather gear now. We just ordered rain/snow boots, but he could use a rain suit, a winter coat, a snowsuit and new wool shoes for dry, cold days. No child left indoors, you see. I wonder if Value Village is worth a look. Our local Goodwill doesn't have much and isn't well-organized at all. And craigslist is hit and miss... It's very exasperating trying to buy used. Oh well. We do what we can.

He tried colouring with crayons last week. Not quite what I was expecting: a very light touch. Too light, mostly. We'll try again in a few days. Yesterday was his first go at fingerpainting. He seemed to enjoy it, especially once he realised that the paint didn't come off his fingers when he flicked his wrist, and even more so when he realised that he could put the paint on other parts of his body (we stripped him down for this experiment!). He created two pieces and there will be plenty more in the future. Lots of fun, that was.


I'm totally in love with this little creature. He astounds me and surprises me in so many marvelous ways. As frustrating and relentless as full-time parenting can be, it's also amazing and joyous. I really wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Journeying through each day with him is the most fulfilling and most satisfying use of my time. Maybe someday I'll go back to school to learn something useful to make money at, but not right now. I'm having too much fun!

His coos are insanely cute; his smiles are just gorgeous, and very time he tries to laugh, he gets the hiccups. He'll figure it out soon enough.

Zerberts are no longer frightening (he never cried, but he'd get a freaked out expression on his face) and now I get huge, full-face grins more often than not.

He can launch himself forward from a supported sit (which he can also do now) to a full belly flop. And just today, he pulled himself all the way across the king-size bed with very little help from me.

Yesterday, he did a full cobra yoga position twice. This rocks! He's finally developing more upper-body strength. We give him tummy time each day. He gets incredibly frustrated by it, but he's so freakin' determined that there's daily progress.

I got two board books for him today and was teaching him how to turn the pages. He's got the theory down but he lacks the muscle control to do it effectively. He'll get it eventually. He can stick his hand between the cardboard pages and turn the page about half-way, and then he stops and takes his hand away from the book. But if I help him from half-way on, then he'll stick his hand in and turn the next page. I was really amazed to see him figure it out and try it out for himself so successfully. :-)

He can grab for things now, with intent, instead of flailing about and randomly catching things in his grasp. Hair, earrings, necklaces, noses, blankets, toys: anything is fair game and if it can go in his mouth, it will, if he has anything to say about it.

EC continues with much success. I/We catch about 85% of his poos and about 50-60% of his pees during the day. Night time is a bit more difficult, since sometimes he won't wake up if we try to pee him or change him and sometimes he screams bloody murder. it's completely hit and miss for the nighttime stuff, but we're keeping it all low-pressure. I don't want him to associate his elimination needs with stress. If we miss, whatever. We have lots of extra diapers. It's all good.

The Hylands homeopathic teething gel works wonders for him. As such, we are all indebted to Hylands. yay! We'll get the amber teething necklace some time soon, and if that works, then we won't need the teething gel.

EC continues apace. We pee and poo A several times a day, though it's exciting when we actually save a diaper (meaning we take a diaper off clean and put the same one back on clean after he's done his business). What mostly ends up happening is we take a diaper off that has a skidmark on it from a wet fart, let him do his business, then put a fresh diaper on him. At least we're saving on diaper wipes.

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My blood sugar has started to return to its pre-pregnancy screwiness. This means, above all, lack of coping skills, since what new mother has time to feed herself properly? So. Not. Good. Especially with a tiny baby to care for, awesome as he may be. I don't know how single parents do this. For that matter, I don't know how two people do this. Three caregivers to a child should be the norm, and it's STILL hard for us (or maybe it's just hard for me, since I'm the primary caregiver). He's a beautiful little creature, but the screaming that accompanies the "I'm too tired to remember how to fall asleep" is just more than I can handle. Can't wait for the joys of teething. Ugh.

But seriously, since having A, I really think that the nuclear family is the stupidest invention EVER. Extended family (chosen or biological) is where it's at when raising a child. It's ridiculous to think a single person can be everything that a child needs *at all times*. It's fair to neither of them.

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I love my ObusForme sound therapy machine thinger. It plays ocean waves over and over and over again. We got it for A, but I don't care if it soothes him or not; it soothes me, and that means A LOT. Thank you, ferum_animi!

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I think I may have a plugged duct. ( Collapse )

caught another giant poo/double pee this morning.
didn't save any diapers, but I saved several wipes and saved myself from having to clean up a giant poo mess.

aaand I wasn't positioned on the waterproof matress pad as well as I'd hoped during the night and leaked a dinner plate-sized puddle on my sheets.

Saved from one mess; created another. Such is life.

edit: caught another multi-poo and pee and have learned that, upon waking, eating is the next order of business, NOT visiting the washroom. Boy, oh boy, does sound ever reverberate off the tile in there...

I heard A. grunting a fair bit this afternoon, which typically means poo, pee, or gas. So I thought I'd try to catch whatever he might be needing to get rid of. Catching a pee or a poo involves holding the baby over an appropriate recepticle for such things, not actually catching the poo or pee in your hands or lap. I chose the bathtub, since, with boys, it's a bit more difficult to determine where the pee will go (a runaway garden hose is what nonstrvngartist referred to it as yesterday when he was visiting), so I wanted a wide range of acceptable area.

So I took his diaper off and held him in my lap over the tub with his butt hanging between my legs and my hands supporting him under his upper thighs. And soon enough, there was a giant splat in the tub underneath me. Woohoo! A poo! And since I knew his poos always come in multiples, I knew the show wasn't over yet. So I waited a little longer, and, indeed, another splat into the bathtub. While marvelling at our success, he started to pee. Woohoo! Another success! We both grinned madly at each other. Too awesome. I called L into the bathroom so I could show her what we had accomplished, and so that she could get the shower going to rinse the tub and get our li'l guy cleaned up.

I kept him in a towel for about an hour. When I heard him grunting again, I took him to the bathtub and removed the towel, held him in position and he peed again. I made the cuing sound this time, so that he can continue to associate tssssss with peeing.

We did this once more a little while later: I was on the phone with N, letting him know of our successes, and then A. started fussing while I was on the phone, so I had to cut the call short. I realised A. was grunting, so I took him to the bathtub, took the towel off, and got into position. We waited a few seconds, and then he peed again! Woohoo!

He cluster pees at certain times throughout the day. I never know when it will be, since his schedule isn't precisely the same every day. But I at least know to look out for it.

I've tried to pee him a couple of times unsuccessfully today. He wasn't sure what to make of it. I finally realised (since he changed the noise he was making) that he needed to eat (thank you, Dunstan Baby Language), so I fed him in the bedroom: it's easiest for me to lie down with him to nurse. He only nursed for about 10 minutes, and no pee after that. Still fussy, I thought I'd try to get him to sleep, which was successful. He napped for about half an hour, then N came home and he woke up and needed to nurse some more. He started grunting while nursing, which is typical for him, since he usually pees while nursing (out with the old, in with the new, and all that). He had nursed for over 10 minutes when he started grunting, so I tried to pee him in the bathroom. He was Very Unhappy about this. So I put him back to the breast and nursed him some more. A couple of minutes after he finished, I tried to pee him again, and we had yet another success today.

I have saved four diapers, so far. Five, if the 1st one didn't have a bit of poo on it from a wet fart. I feel highly accomplished and a little more in tune with A's needs. This is very happymaking. :-)

Diaper-free babies' fad swells, despite critics -- they bill it as potty training, but it's not training. It's paying attention to the signals that your child gives you that he or she needs to pee or poo. You can help them relax and let them know they're in the proper place to pee/poo by using cuing sounds, but not all parents use cues. Likewise, not all babies signal or signal every time. It requires A LOT of attention to be paid to your little one, especially in this culture where this type of infant hygiene isn't standard. Most parents these days can't give that amount of attention, unfortunately.

A. gives us signals that he's working on something, but we're still trying to discern the difference between gas and pee and poo. Plus, he has lots of wet farts for hours in the morning, so for that period of the day, keeping him in cloth diapers and changing him immediately when he's wet or has pooed a little bit seems to be the best bet. He's definitely getting a bigger bladder and can go longer between pees, sometimes up to three hours. And sometimes he has cluster pees, where he'll pee several times in a short period. Even if we never catch a pee or a poo, I'm enjoying paying this much attention to him and making sure he doesn't sit in his own waste for hours at a time. I hate using the diaper covers because it's so easy to forget, and in forgetting, run the risk of diaper rash. Uck.


More U.S. women dying in childbirth *heavy sigh* They cite obesity and cesarians as potential culprits. Hmm... Crappy nutrition and shitty birth practices have something to do with this? Ya think?


Window Herbs by ZO design -- Such a fantastic idea! I WANT THIS!!! Pray that the suction cups are quality, though. Oy...


Extreme Pumpkin Carving Awesome ideas for the bestest holiday of the year.

Casaubon's Book: 52 Weeks Down
Week 17: Toys R Not US

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We're all doing just fine. Not a lot of time to spend at the computer, though. We have weathered the storm of A getting his gut flora situated, which involved lots of scream-crying and hideously agonizing gas pains. Things are much better, even though his poo stinks more now.

He can hold his head up for extended periods and is generally getting less floppy. He follows us with his eyes if we move. He's latched on to feed by himself a couple of times (with the nipple right in front of him). And we're learning his pee and poo signals a little bit better now, though we still have yet to catch a pee or poo. We're at least able to start making the cuing sounds when he pees with the diaper on and we notice it as it's happening.

My mother is visiting us for a few days. She arrives tonight and leaves Sunday afternoon. Both she and my sister have asked if I'm pumping yet. No. No, I'm not. I have no issues with low milk supply, meaning that if I pump, I'll just make more milk to leak all over the place and who needs that?? Not me.

And no, I'm not pumping to bottle-feed A because that would be silly. Bottle-feeding before 3 months leads to nipple issues (confusion/preference) and more gas (ugh!). Bottle-feeding, in general, leads to more crap around the house, which we so don't need. My breasts are plenty good enough. And while I might like more of a break than I get, especially during growth spurts or tired time when he doesn't know what he wants and nurses for 3 seconds, pulls off, screams, nurses for 3 seconds, pulls off, etc., I'd much rather deal with that sort of frustration than the frustration of more stuff around my house that is unnecessary (see article linked above for more about unnecessary stuff).

Also, non-lactating people do NOT need to bottle-feed a baby in order to bond with it. That's just silly talk, and yet SO MANY PEOPLE think this. It's absolutely untrue. There are plenty of ways to bond with a baby: holding, wearing, carrying, talking to, singing to, cuddling, changing diapers, reading to, playing with, etc. Lots of ways. And if you ignore all those other vitally necessary ways in which to interact with a baby in favour of bottle-feeding, you do a disservice to yourself and to your baby and, well, to everyone because you're perpetuating a myth.

/rant

so yeah, other than the gassy episodes, growth spurts, and occasional poo and pee fountains, things are peachy.

We wear A around the house and wear him on walks to the park, so he gets lots of in-arms time with all of us (mostly me though). We don't put diaper covers on him most of the time so that we can tell when he's wet and can change his diaper immediately (who wants to sit in their own waste?). We have him sleep in our bed with us so that we can tend to him more immediately during the night AND so that we get more sleep (we are all shockingly not too sleep-deprived).

Oh, and we ARE having visitors over. Let us know if you are interested in dropping by to spend some time with us and we can work out scheduling.