So my LJ is 1 year and 6 days old today. Guess what? I'm getting a new one. By the way, you can't even read the first few entries. I made the first one March 10th, 2004. But a lot of those are made so only I can see them. They were really depressing. I was going through a lot of stuff at the time. Especially with family. But now, things are going to get better. They already have, but nothing's perfect. And things with Clay couldn't be better. So my new journal will be coming soon. I'll make a post for you to comment on if you want to be added or not or whateva.
Even if you sleep for 12 hours, doesn't mean you're going to be well rested. And a good day, can turn to a bad day in a matter of 10 minutes.
Gah, I don't have a whole lot of time to type this up. I got up kind of late to be taking a shower. My hair's still wet and I'm not dressed. Yeah, maybe I should get going. Ehh..
I was having such a good day at school yesterday, and when I got home, it was still pretty sweet. No one was home, meaning no mom for a while. But then I got a call from my dad. His big deal went through and all of that money got pushed back AT LEAST another month. More money troubles. And then my mom called and she wouldn't get lotion for my dad like he asked her to. Which is for a medical reasons, his skin condition to be more exact. She said he just got some and he didn't "need" it. And I suppose you needed onions to make a tuna salad, eh? I hope I don't turn out like her. She is, by-far, the most selfish person I have ever known.
She got home and things didn't get better. There was that tension in everyone again. It's hard to explain. When everyone's home, but no one wants to talk. It's just silent for a while. I just went in my room. After a while, I just went to sleep. I drifted in and out of sleep for 12 hours straight. I woke up at 7, 11, 3, and 6. But those are the only times I can remember. The other times, I woke up, but didn't care to look at the clock. After sleeping for that long, I'm still not rested. It's quality, not quantity. I'm sorry for this being such a negative post, but I'm kind of down in the dumps right now. I guess I should start getting ready.
Today was pretty fucking sweet. Mondays usually hate me, but today, somebody loved me up there. Whateva, you get what I mean. It was a pretty sweet day in general. My sister got "officially" married to Jonny in Florida and my brother's wife had their daughter. Dude, today is a HUGE day. Holly Ann Mills is her name. I'm glad my sister got married to Jonny because I think he's awesome. I even look up to him in a certain sense.
( Collapse ) YOU THINK YOU KNOW BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA the diary of CDub NO WE WILL HAVE NONE OF THAT
yeah, in this house, we boil water.
OK. THE PARTY IS THIS SATURDAY AT 6. IM ME ON DOMINO XX EFFECT FOR MORE INFO.
CLAY AND ME WATCHED DIGITAL PENIS ON DISCOVERY CHANNEL OVER THE PHONE AND IT WAS HOTT. <3
Today, Clay came over (like that was a big suprise) and like usual, we did nothing. Dude, we are the lazest people. I cleaned my room last night because I couldn't sleep and it looks nice. I haven't left the house since Thursday. My nose is still kind of runny at times. I still can't sleep. This is going to be a really random entry because I don't feel like typing normally. I'm typing really fast. My dad and me got food poisoning tonight from Little Caesars. I didn't get it as bad. It might have been from the sauce. I thought it was going to be PUKE FEST 2005 for me, but it wasn't. I couldn't even throw up. My stomach is still all BLAH, but I'm not on the verge of puking. I called Clay to see if he got sick too, but he didn't. That's when we watched the Discovery Channel. Child birth and virtual penis are pretty sweet. VH1 is on now. I kind of liked that Fit Club show, but it is over now. I just found out that my dad and me might not have gotten food poisonig. I could have just ate too much and my dad said his pain pills might have made him sick. Oh well. OMG THE ICOD! THE WORLDS MOST ADVANCED CODPIECE. VH1 is kind of weird like that. So Clay and me had this conversation about deaf people. He said something about his dad's cell phone lighting up so even if you were deaf, you could still tell it was ringing. "Yeah, but if you were deaf, you wouldn't have a cell phone." And then one of the funniest quotes ever happened. "If I was deaf, I would just call the pizza place and yell "8 LARGE PIZZAS NOW". Ahahaha, my love. <3
You know, I want to have a traditional Irish St. Patty's Day this year. Know what I mean. I am Irish, afterall. It's only in my heritage to do what I do best. I split the side of my lip open last night and it hurts. Wow, someone's actually on. Now I'm talking to Adam. Ow, I think I just resplit my lip. I'm probably running out of things to write about. I want to see the Ring 2. I'm going to drag Clay with me to see so I can have someone to latch onto and scream.
Wow, insomnia is kicking my ass right now. Adam's too, I guess. At least I'm not alone. Ah, never mind. He just left. Maybe that's a sign that I should try and sleep too. Gah, there's nothing better to really do right now. I'm so bored I'm watching a VH1 show about Martha Stewart. Dude, she's so rich. Yeah, fuck that show. Discovery Channel kicks this channel's ass right now. Oh, god. CHILD BIRTH AND "BUIDLING A BABY". I love these kinds of shows. I'm a D.C. NERD. I'm gonna lay down and watch this. Night.
ect: let's go to Olive Garden 751: ive got 9 bucks ect: I just said that randomly to 3 people on my BL 751: so whos going with ya ect: foolz ect: and the mario brothers 751: yay? ect: mhhmmm ect: but not wario ect: he's just a fat rip-off of mario 751: can walauigi come? ect: NO ect: WE WILL HAVE NONE OF THAT 751: whyyyy not? ect: I'm going to pee all over myself in public ect: and THEN WHO'S GOING TO LOOK BAD? 751: wow thats fucked up ect: true dat
I hope everyone else has these kinds of conversations with their boyfriend/girlfriend. :X (me=pink clay=green)
Clay suprised me today. He got off at my bus stop and came to my house. He didn't expect to stay long because he thought I might be asleep. He just wanted to drop some stuff off and then he was going to walk home. But suprisingly, I was actually awake. I was unshowered, smeared-makeup'd, feverish, runny-nosed, and pretty miserable, but awake! I was really unprepared for him. Oh well, he doesn't really care if I'm a sickly dirtass. That's why he loves me.
But hey, I promise to shower when I wake up in the morning. And to shave. Ahahah, my legs are horrible. I'm so honest with these things. If you're honest with these kinds of things, people learn to just accept it and not care.
Alright, so here's a story for the kids at home. I was in the bathroom today taking my meds for my fever and such. I was going to grab a cup to put water in to wash down the pills, but I grabbed my toothbrush instead. I put it under the running water and then looked at it. I had to THINK about it for a second. I totally forgot what I was doing. And after about 15 seconds of just staring down, I remembered I wanted water for pills and felt like a dumbfuck. Haha, but it was funny. My fever fucks me in the ass.
I was looking at hair..stuff today and I was thinking what to do with my hair. If you haven't figured it out, I'm slowly going lighter. By summer, I should be ultra-blonde. Like PLATINUM. But what about the cut? I've decided to grow it out until it looks pretty bad and then finally cut it. I want people to say "dude, get your hair cut". Before we switched rooms, the kid who was behind me in history used to tell me to cut my hair. It's not THAT bad. It's not bad at all. I just back-comb it sometimes and then it turns to hell when I don't have enough time to condition it right. I am teh LAZYASS. Oh, but the cut. I should do one of those "pixie cut" things. Or what Clay calls it.."head of lettuce/cabbage cut". Whateva. You know what I mean. OPINIONS. YOU HAVE ONE, USE IT AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. But the color is non-negotiable. Don't care if I spelt that wrong. I'm going ultra blonde and everyone else can fuckithard.
I'm so glad Clay came over today. To be honest, I was lonely when I woke up. I hatehatehate that. He made me feel a lot better. I feel all loved still. <3 He just makes me so happy. Know what I mean? "i care about you. i care a lot." is all I need. Hah, I talk about this almost entry. I like talking about it. It puts good thoughts into my head.
Tomorrow, I'm going to get up and shower and all that and clean up my room finally. It needs it. BADLY. I am way too lazy to live sometimes. I wonder why I'm skinny as I am. No one comment on that.
for this being a gross, dirtass, sickly, lazyass day, it's been alright.
Gah, I hate being sick. When I woke up yesterday morning, I wasn't feeling too good, but I thought it was just another bad's night sleep. That's been happening lately. I sleep, but I don't feel rested. And that one night when Jonny visited, I slept for about 2 hours (if that) and felt great when I woke up. Those 2 or so hours were the best hours of sleep I've gotten since then. It seems like the less I sleep, the better off I am. Gaahh. And I just ended up sleeping from around 11 P.M. to 1 P.M. I woke up a few times, but there was nothing better to do than sleep. I HATE HATE HATE being sick. I would much rather be at school. But even if I was feeling better, my dad told me I wasn't going to school last night. And I can't do anything for the rest of the day. Bah, but he does have good reasoning. Even if I'm better, I'll just get sick again by going outside. Besides, I wouldn't want to spread disease too much. Well, maybe a little bit. ANYWAYS
I'm really out of it right now, so forgive any useless rambling. Ohhh, it's so sunny outside. Why couldn't I be home sick on a crappy day? It may be sunny out, but it's still really cold. The weather's not supposed to warm up until NEXT Friday. It's supposed to 43. Psh, hardly what I would call warm. Gaaahhh, I'm so bored. I can't wait till everyone else gets home.
I hope I'm better by tomorrow. If I am, I wanna go out and do something. Ricky kept saying he wanted to hang out, so maybe we can hang out tomorrow. And pick up a few people too. I actually have a little bit of money, so that's pretty sweet. Le sigh. Today's going to be a lonely day.
I really need to shower, but I'm too dizzy too. I can barely walk around. I just had some cereal a little while ago and now I'm regretting it. My stomach is not too happy about that. Hopefully, I won't throw up or anything like that. Ugh. hatehatehate
Being sick makes me overly emotional. I just feel like crying right now. Just because I'm sick. Yeah, it's pretty pathetic. My fever's coming back, so I'm going to go find some more meds.
Gah, I'm cold. I'm all wrapped up in a blanket. My sweet leopard print blanket though, which makes up for it. I've been sleeping all day. I think I fell asleep around 5 and I woke up about an hour ago. I really had nothing better to do all day but sleep. And I guess I really needed that.
Ah, but I have bad news. Yesterday, Clay and me hung out. He got off the bus stop with me and all that. I guess we lost track of time and it was 9, and my dad told us that his mom called. We were just going to drop Clay off. Yeah, we should have called back. Just as we were opening the door to go out to the car, his mom knocks. "oh shit" indeed. So here's the chain that created this mess.
-My mom's a shitface that doesn't pay bills --The phone company turns off the caller ID for whatever reason (probably a warning) ---My mom never calls in to tell them to turn it back on ----Since there's no called ID, no one answers the phone anymore -----It's not like my dad would answer the phone anyways/ ------Clay's mom calls and no one answers, so she's pissed. She probably even called a few times
So now, Clay won't be coming back over. Bah. That saddens me. Hah, I probably sound so dependent. I just like spending time with him. And when something's going wrong, he's the only one who can make things better by just holding me. That's all I really need.
Gaaahhh, I have a bunch of German I still have to do. Oh damn, I should probably go do that project for it too. God damnnit.
No, you can't take it No, you can't take that away from me
Head like a hole Black as your soul I'd rather die than give you control
Now I believe that lovers should be draped in flowers And layed entwined together on a bed of clover And left there to sleep Left there to dream of their happiness
drained
SMELL ME
sick;miserable;emotional