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About Me:
I'm Kara. I'm agender, and I use she/her pronouns. I'm in my mid-forties, I'm married, and I have a teenage son. I work as a Direct Support Professional (DSP), and I often write about my work. I also have three cats: Albert, Tali, and Walter. I write about my life and my thoughts on pretty much anything that strikes me, and I fall back on Cat Tales when I want to write but have nothing to say or have cute cat pictures to post. Oh, and as I get older, I bitch more about my physical health problems alongside my mental health problems, too. I'd heard this shift happens, but I really wasn't expecting it to happen to me, y'know?
I'm fannish, but it's been a long time since I've actively participated in fandom. I've written fanfic, but I haven't been prolific since the '00s, and my more recent material amounts to about three rare pair one shots in the HYDRA niche of the MCU. Some of my old stories and my HYDRA fics are archived at Ao3. I've always leaned toward villains, the kinky, or the toxic, so if you don't care for that stuff, you'll probably prefer to give my writing a pass. By contrast, I'm an almost completely omnivorous reader who doesn't care that much about a fic's rating or warnings. I'm not a fan of AUs that aren't simple canon divergence, and that's about it in terms of fic I prefer not to read.
Subscriptions and Commenting:
Anyone can feel free to subscribe. I will probably subscribe back and grant access. I do not subscribe and grant access to empty journals, and I may not subscribe to your journal if it's exclusively fannish focusing on a fandom that doesn't interest me. Nothing personal.
I do not subscribe or stay subscribed to religious fundamentalists, strong conservatives, or MAGA people. I do not subscribe or stay subscribed to antis. I do not stick around in fandom-as-social-justice circles long enough to end up involved in the inevitable drama.
If you have a DW account and you want to comment on any of my posts, feel free to do that. If you can see it, you can comment on it.
Posting and Interaction:
I use cut tags for lengthy posts, multiple images, or potentially sensitive content. I don't list warnings, but I do indicate what you can expect to find behind the cuts. If there's some specific thing that bothers you, and you wish I'd slide it behind a cut, let me know and I'll see what I can do about it. If quite a lot of what I post or how I post bothers you, we probably aren't going to interact with each other much anyway, and you'd be better off unsubscribing. Feel free to ask me to return the favor if seeing my comments on your posts after you've unsubscribed makes you feel uncomfortable -- I won't get angry or demand a reason. We're all grownups, and grownups understand that everyone can't always be besties with everyone else.
My interaction policy is simple: Don't be a dick. Some people may feel that policy is vague and subjective, and they'd have a valid point. Be that as it may be, I am well past the point of caring whether someone feels that my disinclination to waste energy on assholes indicates excessive sensitivity or an unwillingness to hear different views. If this policy makes you very nervous and unsure in a general way, you're probably just feeling anxious, and I doubt we'll have a problem. If you're frowning over this paragraph and thinking, "Well, fuck, does this mean she'll get angry if I want to explain to her all the reasons why her gender identity is bullshit?" you might want to just move on along.
Along similar lines, if your formal or informal interaction policy is that your subscribers who comment need to not only agree with you, but agree in the right way and with the correct amount of enthusiasm, we're probably not going to hit it off. I simply don't have the emotional resources to deal with people who need others to jump through hoops of fire for their approval.
Transformative Works:
Yes. Feel free to fic my fic, remix, write sequels, borrow ocs if I develop any worth borrowing, podfic, make art or vids... whatever. All I ask is that you at least give me credit, and that you link to the original work that inspired you in your summary or author's note. I'd love to hear from you, but I know it can sometimes be nerve wracking to reach out to a stranger, so a credit and link are sufficient for me.
Cutting and pasting another person's work is not transformative, and I'm not okay with it. Quoting with attribution is one thing; copying huge blocks of text is another thing. Don't do it.
Linking:
Feel free to link to any public post. If I didn't want people to see it, I'd have locked it. Do not, however, copy and paste my posts into your own posts. Doing that will get you reported and blocked. Feel free, however, to quote me if you want to address or expand on anything I've written, and you feel a few short quotes will aid in getting your point across. Fair use, baby. I'd prefer a link in most cases if you're going to quote, but hey.
Okay, I think that covers everything. If anything else occurs to me, I'll come back and update.
(no subject)
Jul. 14th, 2021 01:21 pmSo far, the weather in my part of the country has been fairly decent, and I feel a little bit guilty considering how awful it's been elsewhere. Today is turning into one of our less pleasant days -- the temperature is reasonable, but the humidity is back up. The good news is that I work in air conditioning, so other than a couple sticky hours I can spend in front of a fan, it won't make too much of a difference to me.
This past weekend went well. Rick and I cleaned our room, and that's a pretty big deal -- it has been literally years since we've gone up there with any major intention of clearing space, and I'm not sure that we've ever attempted a serious, slash and burn decluttering. Everything's gone. There's space to move around up there, and that means I might start working out again. More importantly, all of my old clothes from my hyperthyroid days are gone, and so are my fat clothes that are shapeless and ugly. There's room to put everything away that I actually wear, and with room to spare! I'm excited.
My next goal is to get the kitchen back to standards. We have zucchini ripening in the garden, and more vegetables on the way, and we're going to need clean, organized, sanitary space for food prep and storage soon. Part of the problem I have in the kitchen is that I have more things than I have places to put them, and most of those things are actually in use, so the solution isn't the garbage can. We've been thinking about buying a corner cabinet for Alex's tea things and special occasion stuff, and that will go a long way toward solving the problem, but we haven't found one we like quite yet. I have a feeling we're probably going to slide into fall with a collection of tea pots still on the end of the counter, but I can't complain too much -- I'm the one who got Alex started on tea things.
And that is about all. Follow the link for the day-to-day stuff: www.pillowfort.social/Kara_McKay
This past weekend went well. Rick and I cleaned our room, and that's a pretty big deal -- it has been literally years since we've gone up there with any major intention of clearing space, and I'm not sure that we've ever attempted a serious, slash and burn decluttering. Everything's gone. There's space to move around up there, and that means I might start working out again. More importantly, all of my old clothes from my hyperthyroid days are gone, and so are my fat clothes that are shapeless and ugly. There's room to put everything away that I actually wear, and with room to spare! I'm excited.
My next goal is to get the kitchen back to standards. We have zucchini ripening in the garden, and more vegetables on the way, and we're going to need clean, organized, sanitary space for food prep and storage soon. Part of the problem I have in the kitchen is that I have more things than I have places to put them, and most of those things are actually in use, so the solution isn't the garbage can. We've been thinking about buying a corner cabinet for Alex's tea things and special occasion stuff, and that will go a long way toward solving the problem, but we haven't found one we like quite yet. I have a feeling we're probably going to slide into fall with a collection of tea pots still on the end of the counter, but I can't complain too much -- I'm the one who got Alex started on tea things.
And that is about all. Follow the link for the day-to-day stuff: www.pillowfort.social/Kara_McKay
(no subject)
Jul. 6th, 2021 01:11 pmIt's been a little over a week since I got sick, and I'm still dealing with chest and nasal congestion, but I'm otherwise okay. My experience with this kind of cold is that I'm going to be sniffling and blowing my nose all through July, but the actual illness is done. I'm looking forward to an end to the chest congestion, which is something I'm not used to having. I do not need an added level of challenge to breathing on hot, humid days.
The week did turn after I made my last post, and I had a good weekend. I went out for dinner with my best friend, got my bedroom mostly cleaned, and started moving things back into the craft room. I don't know how much I've posted about the craft room here, but that's been an adventure -- we've been working on that damned room on and off again since 2015, and finally finished it last week. This week we're going to start organizing and putting things away, and then Rick is going to start in on the tool room, which has taken on a life of its own. It was supposed to have been a work area for Alex that didn't involve roasting or freezing in the garage or co-existing with spiders and centipedes in the basement, but at this point, it looks like a mechanic's shop that's been hit by a tornado.
Aside from the heat, this week is looking like it's going to be a good one. I'm not planning much, but I feel nonetheless positive about the way things are likely to roll out. I know it hasn't been long since my last post, but if you want to read the day-to-day since then, here's the link: www.pillowfort.social/Kara_McKay
The week did turn after I made my last post, and I had a good weekend. I went out for dinner with my best friend, got my bedroom mostly cleaned, and started moving things back into the craft room. I don't know how much I've posted about the craft room here, but that's been an adventure -- we've been working on that damned room on and off again since 2015, and finally finished it last week. This week we're going to start organizing and putting things away, and then Rick is going to start in on the tool room, which has taken on a life of its own. It was supposed to have been a work area for Alex that didn't involve roasting or freezing in the garage or co-existing with spiders and centipedes in the basement, but at this point, it looks like a mechanic's shop that's been hit by a tornado.
Aside from the heat, this week is looking like it's going to be a good one. I'm not planning much, but I feel nonetheless positive about the way things are likely to roll out. I know it hasn't been long since my last post, but if you want to read the day-to-day since then, here's the link: www.pillowfort.social/Kara_McKay
(no subject)
Jul. 3rd, 2021 01:20 pm I'm posting early because I'm hoping that by Monday or Tuesday, things will have changed enough to change the tone of a "weekly" update. I got sick last Sunday, which was my birthday (46), and I've been in varying degrees of misery ever since. I missed the first three days of work, went in yesterday, and I'm going to see if I can come home early today. I would very much like to crawl into bed and stay there for at least a day or so. If you'd like to reach day-to-day bitching about how awful I feel (I get sick like a man), follow the link: www.pillowfort.social/Kara_McKay
(no subject)
Jun. 28th, 2021 10:35 pmMaintaining a weekly journal is turning into an interesting experience. I'm finding that, some weeks, so much has changed between the beginning and end of the week that it's hard to sit down and say, "So, this is how it's been," with any sense of real time accuracy. This past week I've applied for, gotten, and turned down a job, had a serious argument with Rick that swallowed half the week, had my birthday, and gotten sick. At this point in time, I'm feeling pretty good mentally, which is a nice change, but I'm physically awful, and I'm not sure how to prioritize events for you.
The job thing was a bit of a disappointment. In-home care is something I've been interested in doing since I started looking at DSP work, but most agencies require a year's experience. I have that experience now, and the agency to which I applied definitely liked me... but they were only offering eleven hours per week. Even with the pay hike, I couldn't leave my current job for that. As far as it goes, there's nothing stopping me from applying to other agencies, but I would like to wait until after my vacation in September. If I change jobs now, I'm stuck for another year without a vacation, and I don't do well without the occasional day off.
I've been sick for a little over a week now, but I spent most of last week thinking my allergies were just giving me particular grief. Sunday, my birthday, I realized that, no, I was just sick. Sore throat, chest congestion, sinus drainage, exhaustion... not a fun time. I've been vaccinated, but I took an at-home covid test to be sure, and, no, it's not covid. Just garden variety illness, but enough to make me miserable, and I called in to work for tomorrow a couple hours ago. It turns out that we're not being taken off the schedule for four days from the start of symptoms anymore, so I got attitude from the nurse, but oh, damned, well. I guess that if I feel better tomorrow, I'll go on ahead and go in, but I think it's likely that I'll spend tomorrow sleeping.
And that's that. Some of last week's posts are locked, so if you check the day-to-day posts, things may seem a little dislocated. www.pillowfort.social/Kara_McKay
The job thing was a bit of a disappointment. In-home care is something I've been interested in doing since I started looking at DSP work, but most agencies require a year's experience. I have that experience now, and the agency to which I applied definitely liked me... but they were only offering eleven hours per week. Even with the pay hike, I couldn't leave my current job for that. As far as it goes, there's nothing stopping me from applying to other agencies, but I would like to wait until after my vacation in September. If I change jobs now, I'm stuck for another year without a vacation, and I don't do well without the occasional day off.
I've been sick for a little over a week now, but I spent most of last week thinking my allergies were just giving me particular grief. Sunday, my birthday, I realized that, no, I was just sick. Sore throat, chest congestion, sinus drainage, exhaustion... not a fun time. I've been vaccinated, but I took an at-home covid test to be sure, and, no, it's not covid. Just garden variety illness, but enough to make me miserable, and I called in to work for tomorrow a couple hours ago. It turns out that we're not being taken off the schedule for four days from the start of symptoms anymore, so I got attitude from the nurse, but oh, damned, well. I guess that if I feel better tomorrow, I'll go on ahead and go in, but I think it's likely that I'll spend tomorrow sleeping.
And that's that. Some of last week's posts are locked, so if you check the day-to-day posts, things may seem a little dislocated. www.pillowfort.social/Kara_McKay
(no subject)
Jun. 22nd, 2021 01:13 pmWell, I've gotten behind on posting, but it's because I'm having one of my cyclical meltdowns and not because I just gave up on checking DW. Since last we talked, I've applied for, been accepted to, and dropped out of a graduate program. I've started working with my psychiatrist's nurse practitioner, who is open to the idea that some of my problem might be adult ADHD. I have applied for two new jobs -- a part time, in-home caretaking position, and a full time with OT DSP position with the state.
Straight up: I do not have the energy to recap. I've had a lot of trouble with anxiety and mood instability, and I'm skating along the surface most of the time. If you want the day-to-day, here's my link: www.pillowfort.social/Kara_McKay
Straight up: I do not have the energy to recap. I've had a lot of trouble with anxiety and mood instability, and I'm skating along the surface most of the time. If you want the day-to-day, here's my link: www.pillowfort.social/Kara_McKay
(no subject)
Jun. 8th, 2021 01:39 pmThis past week, I applied for a graduate program at the local college where I got my BA. Whether I can actually enroll and register depends entirely on whether I can get a graduate assistant position, but, hey, you never know until you try. I hope I get it, but in all honesty, I won't be heart broken if I don't. I guess we'll see.
The weekend was hot, but not as hot as predicted, so that's a good thing. We've had rain for the past couple days, and it smells wonderful, but I'm worried it will segue into hazy, humid, heat for the remainder of the week. I still feel like it got hot way too early this year, even taking that one week of colder temperatures into account. I'm worried that late June and July will be unbearable. Maybe I should try a little harder to live in the present instead of looking ahead to mid summer miseries that are, after all, pretty well unavoidable.
I saw my psychiatrist yesterday, and his nurse practitioner is asking him to consider non-amphetamine ADHD meds for me. This is not a new idea for me, but it's a new one for them. My last shrink wouldn't really listen to me when I tried to explain to him that I have a lot of trouble with focus and concentration, but this one arrived at that conclusion on her own. I've found that things run more smoothly when they feel like they're the ones figuring things out and explaining them to you, so I'm feeling relatively hopeful about where this is going. I've got another appointment in two weeks, and hopefully I'll be able to try out a new med after that. Just being able to do anything steadily, and to move smoothly from one thing to the next, would be a great help to me.
Nothing else too exciting happened last week. If you'd like to catch up with the day-to-day, though, and see more flower pictures, here's the link: www.pillowfort.social/Kara_McKay
The weekend was hot, but not as hot as predicted, so that's a good thing. We've had rain for the past couple days, and it smells wonderful, but I'm worried it will segue into hazy, humid, heat for the remainder of the week. I still feel like it got hot way too early this year, even taking that one week of colder temperatures into account. I'm worried that late June and July will be unbearable. Maybe I should try a little harder to live in the present instead of looking ahead to mid summer miseries that are, after all, pretty well unavoidable.
I saw my psychiatrist yesterday, and his nurse practitioner is asking him to consider non-amphetamine ADHD meds for me. This is not a new idea for me, but it's a new one for them. My last shrink wouldn't really listen to me when I tried to explain to him that I have a lot of trouble with focus and concentration, but this one arrived at that conclusion on her own. I've found that things run more smoothly when they feel like they're the ones figuring things out and explaining them to you, so I'm feeling relatively hopeful about where this is going. I've got another appointment in two weeks, and hopefully I'll be able to try out a new med after that. Just being able to do anything steadily, and to move smoothly from one thing to the next, would be a great help to me.
Nothing else too exciting happened last week. If you'd like to catch up with the day-to-day, though, and see more flower pictures, here's the link: www.pillowfort.social/Kara_McKay
(no subject)
May. 31st, 2021 11:38 pmLast week was a good one, though nothing in particular stands out from it now that it's over. That's fairly typical of most of my work weeks. I rarely have bad days at work, but a good day is an uneventful one, and that means there's little to tell you about. I think I felt the need to get into the nitty gritty of how much poop I had to clean over on PF, but I'll admit that that's probably only of interest to you if wiping butts and changing diapers is part of your daily routine, too. If you couldn't care less, I can't say that I blame you.
We bought and planted our vegetables this weekend. I'm mixed in my feelings on this year's garden. On the one hand, we've gotten it to a manageable scale, and we got it planted in a timely manner. On the other hand... well, jeez, we've always done so much more in the past. And, I'll admit that a lot of our planting had more to do with aesthetics and the enjoyment of growing than with any real, practical use for fifty million tomatoes and half as many zucchinis, but it's still what I was used to doing. I liked knowing we were going to have more than we'd know what to do with even after giving away buckets full to the neighbors. It was fun. And now, well, I suppose we'll have enough tomatoes and cucumbers to can, but we'll only have enough peppers for immediate use, and then vegetables like eggplants that don't put up well, anyway. I am happy with what we have, but I think I'll be happier in a few years when we've expanded beyond a couple long raised beds for vining squash and four Smart Pots.
Alex finished fixing his truck, so we've finally gotten rid of all the automotive parts boxes that were piled in the living room. This week will probably be a big cleaning week, with a side focus on pen pal letter writing. The house has been allowed to spin out a little too much since Rick and Allie have been focused on the craft room, Alex has been working on his truck, and I've been all about the garden. Time to neaten and straighten and disinfect so I can feel comfortable spending time at the desk writing to my friends.
And that's about all. If you'd like to see some pictures of flowers and catch up on my day-to-day, here's my Pillowfort link: https://www.pillowfort.social/Kara_McKay . I hope you all are having a great week!
We bought and planted our vegetables this weekend. I'm mixed in my feelings on this year's garden. On the one hand, we've gotten it to a manageable scale, and we got it planted in a timely manner. On the other hand... well, jeez, we've always done so much more in the past. And, I'll admit that a lot of our planting had more to do with aesthetics and the enjoyment of growing than with any real, practical use for fifty million tomatoes and half as many zucchinis, but it's still what I was used to doing. I liked knowing we were going to have more than we'd know what to do with even after giving away buckets full to the neighbors. It was fun. And now, well, I suppose we'll have enough tomatoes and cucumbers to can, but we'll only have enough peppers for immediate use, and then vegetables like eggplants that don't put up well, anyway. I am happy with what we have, but I think I'll be happier in a few years when we've expanded beyond a couple long raised beds for vining squash and four Smart Pots.
Alex finished fixing his truck, so we've finally gotten rid of all the automotive parts boxes that were piled in the living room. This week will probably be a big cleaning week, with a side focus on pen pal letter writing. The house has been allowed to spin out a little too much since Rick and Allie have been focused on the craft room, Alex has been working on his truck, and I've been all about the garden. Time to neaten and straighten and disinfect so I can feel comfortable spending time at the desk writing to my friends.
And that's about all. If you'd like to see some pictures of flowers and catch up on my day-to-day, here's my Pillowfort link: https://www.pillowfort.social/Kara_McKay . I hope you all are having a great week!
(no subject)
May. 25th, 2021 12:23 pm Well, I'm a day late, but I didn't forget y'all! Yesterday turned out to be a busy day because Kellie and I had to run all over two counties acquiring identification and visiting various banks and businesses to take care of some stuff for Ma. It turns out that my name is on Ma's checking account, and that Ma had more money than we realized. We paid her funeral expenses in advance out of it, and now that's the end of that -- it's not that there isn't any more money, but that Medicaid is going to demand every cent of it when they take over paying the nursing home. Frankly, I think it's absolute bullshit that they can go after money that was in an account before becoming the individual's insurer, and I bet it's something that could be fought... but I know for certain that it would cost significantly more than we have or would get to fight the state. So, bye bye to yet another possibility of anything good coming from either of our parents. Oh, well, I guess it can at least be said that Ma didn't do it out of spite like Dad did when he gave everything to his housekeeper.
But, enough of this bullshit. The last week has been a good one -- my mood has improved significantly. I had a good week at work, and a partner almost every day. I did not get a chance to do much weekend scheduling, and I could tell the difference, but I still got the front porch cleared and the Rose of Sharon area weeded. I would have liked to have planted yesterday, but we were broke because of car repairs, and as I've already said, Kellie and I were busy. Next week we'll do both prep work and planting.
Rick and Allie are almost done with the craft room, and I'm hoping we can start pulling the house together next weekend, too. That'll be nice -- I've been trying to get moving on that craft room for literally years, and it's held up a lot of other things because there's so much stuff that's supposed to go in there that doesn't currently have a place. It's nice to see things finally coming together.
And, that's about all. Here's the link to my fort if you'd like to catch up on the day-to-day of last week: www.pillowfort.social/Kara_McKay
But, enough of this bullshit. The last week has been a good one -- my mood has improved significantly. I had a good week at work, and a partner almost every day. I did not get a chance to do much weekend scheduling, and I could tell the difference, but I still got the front porch cleared and the Rose of Sharon area weeded. I would have liked to have planted yesterday, but we were broke because of car repairs, and as I've already said, Kellie and I were busy. Next week we'll do both prep work and planting.
Rick and Allie are almost done with the craft room, and I'm hoping we can start pulling the house together next weekend, too. That'll be nice -- I've been trying to get moving on that craft room for literally years, and it's held up a lot of other things because there's so much stuff that's supposed to go in there that doesn't currently have a place. It's nice to see things finally coming together.
And, that's about all. Here's the link to my fort if you'd like to catch up on the day-to-day of last week: www.pillowfort.social/Kara_McKay
(no subject)
May. 17th, 2021 03:06 pmI'm tentatively settling on a weekly posting schedule here, with a link post so you can follow my day-to-day on Pillowfort if you want to do that. I can't say that it'll be a thrill minute, but I like to think my posts have some entertainment value on some days, so if you're interested, I'll put up the link to my fort each week. Here's this week's link: www.pillowfort.social/Kara_McKay You can read back as far as you'd like; as on DW, there's precious little that's locked.
Last week was not a great week for me. I don't have huge, gnashing problems with my menstrual cycle every month, but a few times per year, it's like my life turns upside down. Last week, starting last weekend, was one of those weeks, and as usual, I had zero insight into what was happening until it was over. It didn't help that I had some genuinely stressful stuff going on, too -- my ma is back in the geriatric psychiatric hospital, I thought my little cat, Walter, died, but then he came home, and I had a tiff with my psychiatrist's office. I ended up missing work last Tuesday, and I'd have stayed home Wednesday and Thursday, too, if I could've. I just don't know how to describe the intense degree of depression and anxiety that overcomes me when I'm having cycle issues of that sort -- I'll take the physical problems, which I also have, and more regularly, over the mental/emotional nonsense any day. Or week, I guess.
I'm feeling a lot better now. My therapist suggested that one thing that might help me, overall, is to start scheduling my weekends so I'm not struggling with decision making in the moment. I know it must sound weird to you, but the weekends are actually my roughest times in mental health terms. I usually feel pretty good on work days, and my only complaint is that I wish I could sleep as late as I want. The weekends, though -- it's just one neurotic worry after another to greater or lesser degrees of intensity, and most of those worries are bound up in how I spend time. I did not get completely on board with literal scheduling this weekend, but I did make a to-do list that includes things like craft projects and spending time outdoors, and I had a much better Sunday than I usually do as a result. My goal is to start getting up at a regular, reasonable hour on Sundays and Mondays so I can make an actual schedule.
Right now I'm coloring hair, and when Rick gets up, we're going to go potter in the garden a little bit. Then it's shopping, and then I want to get to the beginner's needle punch kit I bought last weekend. Maybe play with my stamp binder and just have a nice, quiet evening.
And, that's all I've got. I hope you all are having a nice beginning to your week!
Last week was not a great week for me. I don't have huge, gnashing problems with my menstrual cycle every month, but a few times per year, it's like my life turns upside down. Last week, starting last weekend, was one of those weeks, and as usual, I had zero insight into what was happening until it was over. It didn't help that I had some genuinely stressful stuff going on, too -- my ma is back in the geriatric psychiatric hospital, I thought my little cat, Walter, died, but then he came home, and I had a tiff with my psychiatrist's office. I ended up missing work last Tuesday, and I'd have stayed home Wednesday and Thursday, too, if I could've. I just don't know how to describe the intense degree of depression and anxiety that overcomes me when I'm having cycle issues of that sort -- I'll take the physical problems, which I also have, and more regularly, over the mental/emotional nonsense any day. Or week, I guess.
I'm feeling a lot better now. My therapist suggested that one thing that might help me, overall, is to start scheduling my weekends so I'm not struggling with decision making in the moment. I know it must sound weird to you, but the weekends are actually my roughest times in mental health terms. I usually feel pretty good on work days, and my only complaint is that I wish I could sleep as late as I want. The weekends, though -- it's just one neurotic worry after another to greater or lesser degrees of intensity, and most of those worries are bound up in how I spend time. I did not get completely on board with literal scheduling this weekend, but I did make a to-do list that includes things like craft projects and spending time outdoors, and I had a much better Sunday than I usually do as a result. My goal is to start getting up at a regular, reasonable hour on Sundays and Mondays so I can make an actual schedule.
Right now I'm coloring hair, and when Rick gets up, we're going to go potter in the garden a little bit. Then it's shopping, and then I want to get to the beginner's needle punch kit I bought last weekend. Maybe play with my stamp binder and just have a nice, quiet evening.
And, that's all I've got. I hope you all are having a nice beginning to your week!
(no subject)
May. 4th, 2021 12:51 pmI'm going to have to work out some kind of posting schedule. I'd forgotten just how active PF is! While PF was down, I could catch up my DW reading page inside of five to seven minutes -- on a day with comments to which to reply, I might have spent fifteen minutes on DW total before hitting the shower, and then spent another five to seven minutes writing my post after getting out. On PF I need a good half hour to catch up, and sometimes more; comments don't take substantially more time on DW than they did on PF (surprise, surprise -- I get roughly the same amount of comments on both sites, even though PF has likes), but the entire process eats up close to an hour. I'm not complaining, mind you -- this activity is why I like PF. It's just that, on some days I don't get around to making my post on PF, let alone on DW.
I will probably post a catch up link at some point this week and then try to figure out whether I want to cross post as originally planned, or if I just want to drop in once a week with a round-up post. We'll see.
I will probably post a catch up link at some point this week and then try to figure out whether I want to cross post as originally planned, or if I just want to drop in once a week with a round-up post. We'll see.
(no subject)
Apr. 28th, 2021 12:36 pmAt the risk of sounding like I'm bitching about one more thing, I have to say that we're now fully into allergy season, which, for me, lasts until roughly November. That said, the Singulair is really knocking the worst of the symptoms back incredibly well. I take one of those at night and an OTC Allegra-D in the morning, and the roughest part of my day is -- yup, you guessed it -- the hour in which I get out of bed. It's harder to get moving during that hour than usual, I'll admit, but by the time I'm out of the shower, the various pills have kicked in, and I'm ready to rock. That is pretty goddamned impressive considering that, last year, I missed work on several occasions just due to allergies gone into overdrive. The headaches I used to get from weather/sinus were awful -- I've had migraines, though not frequently, and those headaches are comparable. I'm enthusiastic about a summer without them.
Tomorrow is the big day! Pillowfort is supposed to return, and I'm excited! Citizens of DW, I'm very sorry, but I'm never going to get used to the inability to like posts, and that's always going to make DW my second choice given an option like PF. It's a simple thing that allows people to feel seen that this site has turned into a big, hairy deal for no good reason I can see, and while that's certainly its prerogative, it's mine to go to a place where I don't feel like I'm screaming into the void. This second adventure on DW has been better than my first, but honestly, that's largely because of the group of PF people who migrated over here while PF has been down -- we've been clinging to each other like shipwreck survivors hanging onto driftwood. I'm going to try to crosspost my main posts so this account won't completely die -- after all, anything could happen to PF, but I am so excited to think that I might be able to post to PF again tomorrow that I can hardly stand it.
Yesterday was a good day at work, but it looks like Marcy isn't going to be with us much longer. Marcy misses at least a day per week and doesn't seem to understand why that's problem, but more importantly, she's just not gelling with the job. It's not that she's bad at it, or that I don't think she could get better, but that some people just... don't get into the groove. I struggled with that at first, too, but when I started thinking of work as my other house and family, it got a lot easier to slide into the rhythm. Marcy, however, has already started putting applications in to other places, and that tells me she's not going to make the transition. I imagine it won't be long before I'll be back to being single staffed all the time. That's okay. There are worse things than being single staffed, as I've learned, and I feel mentally prepared to head into another long slog. And, truthfully, it's not the work that makes being single staffed difficult -- it's the boredom.
The weather is still warm though the sun isn't out. For right now, just being able to have the windows open is enough for me, though. The sun is supposed to be back on Friday, so I figure I can make it that long. Oh, and Colleen works with my on Friday! I'm looking forward to that. She's days, so we don't work together that often, but she's one of the rare few that's both good company and a helpful co-worker.
Well, that wraps it up for today. I hope your week is going well, and that you have a great day!
Tomorrow is the big day! Pillowfort is supposed to return, and I'm excited! Citizens of DW, I'm very sorry, but I'm never going to get used to the inability to like posts, and that's always going to make DW my second choice given an option like PF. It's a simple thing that allows people to feel seen that this site has turned into a big, hairy deal for no good reason I can see, and while that's certainly its prerogative, it's mine to go to a place where I don't feel like I'm screaming into the void. This second adventure on DW has been better than my first, but honestly, that's largely because of the group of PF people who migrated over here while PF has been down -- we've been clinging to each other like shipwreck survivors hanging onto driftwood. I'm going to try to crosspost my main posts so this account won't completely die -- after all, anything could happen to PF, but I am so excited to think that I might be able to post to PF again tomorrow that I can hardly stand it.
Yesterday was a good day at work, but it looks like Marcy isn't going to be with us much longer. Marcy misses at least a day per week and doesn't seem to understand why that's problem, but more importantly, she's just not gelling with the job. It's not that she's bad at it, or that I don't think she could get better, but that some people just... don't get into the groove. I struggled with that at first, too, but when I started thinking of work as my other house and family, it got a lot easier to slide into the rhythm. Marcy, however, has already started putting applications in to other places, and that tells me she's not going to make the transition. I imagine it won't be long before I'll be back to being single staffed all the time. That's okay. There are worse things than being single staffed, as I've learned, and I feel mentally prepared to head into another long slog. And, truthfully, it's not the work that makes being single staffed difficult -- it's the boredom.
The weather is still warm though the sun isn't out. For right now, just being able to have the windows open is enough for me, though. The sun is supposed to be back on Friday, so I figure I can make it that long. Oh, and Colleen works with my on Friday! I'm looking forward to that. She's days, so we don't work together that often, but she's one of the rare few that's both good company and a helpful co-worker.
Well, that wraps it up for today. I hope your week is going well, and that you have a great day!
(no subject)
Apr. 27th, 2021 01:05 pmThe sun is out and the weather is warm, and I feel so much better! Maybe it really was the return of chilly, overcast weather that dragged me down for the last couple weeks. It's hard to tell. Maybe it was that, or maybe I had a low grade bug, or maybe it was the antibiotics, or the antifungal pills... who knows. Whatever it was, it's mostly gone now, and I'm grateful. It's hard to pull through the days when all you really want to be doing is sleeping.
The bad news is the car has to go back to the shop, and the worse news is that they can't fit her in until the twelfth. The good news is that I borrowed Ma's car from Kellie so I don't have to drive that godawful truck. Kellie's been driving it with the windows down so it smells less of old lady than it did at first, and I'm not too worried about having any untoward problems with it. Ma did have some minor accidents with it, but there are only some scratches and a dent in the passenger side door. It's not as pretty as it used to be, but it drives just fine.
I was approved for two days off in June, and I think that knowing I have a little mini vacation coming up will help my attendance. Even when it comes to doing things I like, it's often hard for me to make myself consistently do them day in and day out -- you all know that I miss more work than I should. Now I find myself thinking, "Khar, you only have to make it to June," and then I feel better. And, as I've said over and over again, the only real problem I have is getting out of bed.
I was not productive last weekend, and so I'm going to have to do some housework during the week this week. Based on today, that shouldn't be too much trouble. I'll probably do the living room first because it's easy, and then tackle the kitchen. Also, if I do the living room first, there's a chance that Rick and Allie will get to the kitchen before me. They've gotten really good about that.
My stamps and notecards arrived yesterday! I love my little llama notecards, but they're so small! I can't imagine sending those out as real, whole letters. Probably everyone will get an extra letter at some point that's just some silly scribbling so I can use the llama cards. They're too cute to just leave in their box forever just because they're small. Or maybe I can work on writing some of my craptastic poetry to put in them. Poetry is difficult for me, so I can't swear that everyone wouldn't get the same poem if I did manage to sweat one out, but, hey, it might be fun.
And, that's all I've got. I'm going to pick up the living room and get my stuff around for work. I hope you're all having a great day!
The bad news is the car has to go back to the shop, and the worse news is that they can't fit her in until the twelfth. The good news is that I borrowed Ma's car from Kellie so I don't have to drive that godawful truck. Kellie's been driving it with the windows down so it smells less of old lady than it did at first, and I'm not too worried about having any untoward problems with it. Ma did have some minor accidents with it, but there are only some scratches and a dent in the passenger side door. It's not as pretty as it used to be, but it drives just fine.
I was approved for two days off in June, and I think that knowing I have a little mini vacation coming up will help my attendance. Even when it comes to doing things I like, it's often hard for me to make myself consistently do them day in and day out -- you all know that I miss more work than I should. Now I find myself thinking, "Khar, you only have to make it to June," and then I feel better. And, as I've said over and over again, the only real problem I have is getting out of bed.
I was not productive last weekend, and so I'm going to have to do some housework during the week this week. Based on today, that shouldn't be too much trouble. I'll probably do the living room first because it's easy, and then tackle the kitchen. Also, if I do the living room first, there's a chance that Rick and Allie will get to the kitchen before me. They've gotten really good about that.
My stamps and notecards arrived yesterday! I love my little llama notecards, but they're so small! I can't imagine sending those out as real, whole letters. Probably everyone will get an extra letter at some point that's just some silly scribbling so I can use the llama cards. They're too cute to just leave in their box forever just because they're small. Or maybe I can work on writing some of my craptastic poetry to put in them. Poetry is difficult for me, so I can't swear that everyone wouldn't get the same poem if I did manage to sweat one out, but, hey, it might be fun.
And, that's all I've got. I'm going to pick up the living room and get my stuff around for work. I hope you're all having a great day!
(no subject)
Apr. 26th, 2021 03:16 pmYesterday turned out to be a pretty good day. Rick, Allie, and I all went out for dinner and then over to Kellie's, where Kellie and I got tanked while talking about the Ma Situation. I don't know that we've progressed any in our thinking about the Ma Situation, but I think that's largely because we've reached the end of the line with it. At this point we're just spinning our wheels -- things will develop as they develop, and it's more a matter of being ready to act when they do than with planning or setting anything in motion ourselves. We've agreed that we'll take turns visiting Ma after Rick gets his second vaccination so no one has to deal with her week in and week out, but that was really the last thing to address. Kel still has to run a couple things through probate, but again, it's a matter of coming up with the right documents and having the right amount of money on the days the courts set, not on figuring much of anything out ourselves, so.
I finally made it to the post office to pick up Alex's jeans, and he likes them! I'm really pleased with that -- Alex is very small, just like his father was at that age, and buying clothes for him is a pain in the ass. It looks like I'm going to be hitting the Duluth site again next payday.
Today is shopping and housework. It's been long enough since I've had to do housework on the weekend that I'm not down about having to do it. As I said Saturday (?), it'll be nice feeling productive.
We finished watching The Falcon and The Winter Soldier last night, and I really enjoyed it. My entertainment needs are simple and easily met; I did not have the problems I've heard discussed here and there with it. I think it's another symptom of my slow slide away from fandom that I'm no longer invested enough in anything I watch to get too overwrought about much of anything. That's not necessarily a bad thing -- I mean, I enjoyed the show -- but it does mean I no longer have the interest in or the patience for long rants about this, that, or the other thing about content that I largely enjoy for what it is.
And, it's about time to leave, so I better go find my shoes. I hope you all had a good weekend, and that your week has gotten off to a pleasant start!
I finally made it to the post office to pick up Alex's jeans, and he likes them! I'm really pleased with that -- Alex is very small, just like his father was at that age, and buying clothes for him is a pain in the ass. It looks like I'm going to be hitting the Duluth site again next payday.
Today is shopping and housework. It's been long enough since I've had to do housework on the weekend that I'm not down about having to do it. As I said Saturday (?), it'll be nice feeling productive.
We finished watching The Falcon and The Winter Soldier last night, and I really enjoyed it. My entertainment needs are simple and easily met; I did not have the problems I've heard discussed here and there with it. I think it's another symptom of my slow slide away from fandom that I'm no longer invested enough in anything I watch to get too overwrought about much of anything. That's not necessarily a bad thing -- I mean, I enjoyed the show -- but it does mean I no longer have the interest in or the patience for long rants about this, that, or the other thing about content that I largely enjoy for what it is.
And, it's about time to leave, so I better go find my shoes. I hope you all had a good weekend, and that your week has gotten off to a pleasant start!
(no subject)
Apr. 25th, 2021 02:11 pmI'm not sure, but I think the problem this past week week may have been that I was low key sick. About two and a half hours into my shift yesterday, I just started to feel better. The headache went away, the exhaustion lifted, and so did that blah feeling. I often have trouble telling the difference between depression with low grade anxiety and moderate illness causing low grade anxiety. I'm thinking I can chalk this own up to illness because depression doesn't usually let go of me this quickly and easily.
The bad news is that Alex is complaining that he doesn't feel well now, and he's got the chest and throat symptoms everyone's been warning us about. He'll tell them when he goes in to work today, and I think they'll test him. We're all crossing our fingers that it's not covid. I've been fully vaccinated, Rick and Allie have been half vaccinated, and Alex is in the second lowest risk category, but even so, if he has covid, he and I are both out of work for two weeks. In terms of needing the rest, we could both use a little vacation, but in financial terms, neither of us can afford one. I think that, considering the seriousness of the pandemic, employers should have to pay workers who are at home because they've tested positive for covid, but no one's taking requests from me.
Assuming Alex doesn't come home today with a stay-at-home order, we're probably going to visit Kellie this evening. I would prefer to work on house cleaning, but it's not that often that Kellie wants company, and I'm trying to get out a little more for things other than shopping. And, I'm up at a reasonable hour, so there's no reason I can't get some things done before we go. There will also probably be food involved, and that's nice -- I don't mind living on salads, but it's still kinda nice to swing out a little on the weekends.
And, that's about all I've got. I'm going to go hit the shower and hope Alex isn't home in an hour. I hope you all are having a good weekend.
The bad news is that Alex is complaining that he doesn't feel well now, and he's got the chest and throat symptoms everyone's been warning us about. He'll tell them when he goes in to work today, and I think they'll test him. We're all crossing our fingers that it's not covid. I've been fully vaccinated, Rick and Allie have been half vaccinated, and Alex is in the second lowest risk category, but even so, if he has covid, he and I are both out of work for two weeks. In terms of needing the rest, we could both use a little vacation, but in financial terms, neither of us can afford one. I think that, considering the seriousness of the pandemic, employers should have to pay workers who are at home because they've tested positive for covid, but no one's taking requests from me.
Assuming Alex doesn't come home today with a stay-at-home order, we're probably going to visit Kellie this evening. I would prefer to work on house cleaning, but it's not that often that Kellie wants company, and I'm trying to get out a little more for things other than shopping. And, I'm up at a reasonable hour, so there's no reason I can't get some things done before we go. There will also probably be food involved, and that's nice -- I don't mind living on salads, but it's still kinda nice to swing out a little on the weekends.
And, that's about all I've got. I'm going to go hit the shower and hope Alex isn't home in an hour. I hope you all are having a good weekend.
(no subject)
Apr. 24th, 2021 12:26 pmI have my car back! And she drives so much better with four new tires! Honestly, I'd thought most of my problems with her were that she's just a crappy little car, and that you have to learn to deal with some things when you're driving around in a little fiberglass bubble that's been in an accident, but no! She drives so much smoother now -- it's like night and day.
Today is my last day of the week, and it's the first day on which I feel halfway decent. Yesterday was another good day in the general sense at work, but I had a headache that kicked in around four o'clock and never let up. I went to bed with that headache, but I suppose the good news is that I slept like a stone. No reason not to anticipate a good day today, though I'd still rather go back to bed.
I think I might clean house this weekend. I'm feeling the need to do something productive, and house cleaning is what I've got. Maybe I'll cook something. I've been surviving for the past couple weeks on salads, which doesn't bother me, but it also means that no one is eating that well. Then again, even when I cook, it's a toss up whether anyone but me will eat whatever I've made, so. I don't know. Aargh, something just needs to give a little, but I'm not sure what.
Pilllowfort is back next Thursday! I'm looking forward to that, and I'm hoping I'm out of this funk by the time I'm able to sit down and write a PF post. I don't want to start up with blah posts bitching about one thing or another. Hey, who knows? Maybe PF will be just the thing to lighten my mood. Of course, PF's return means DW will go back to being my backup account, but I'm going to try to make more of an effort to cross post my main entries. It would help if I could copy/paste entries from PF to DW without the font and text size going wonky, but I guess it is what it is.
Well, I'm out of things to tell you, and my letters are written, so I guess I'll do some coloring today. I hope you all are enjoying your weekend!
Today is my last day of the week, and it's the first day on which I feel halfway decent. Yesterday was another good day in the general sense at work, but I had a headache that kicked in around four o'clock and never let up. I went to bed with that headache, but I suppose the good news is that I slept like a stone. No reason not to anticipate a good day today, though I'd still rather go back to bed.
I think I might clean house this weekend. I'm feeling the need to do something productive, and house cleaning is what I've got. Maybe I'll cook something. I've been surviving for the past couple weeks on salads, which doesn't bother me, but it also means that no one is eating that well. Then again, even when I cook, it's a toss up whether anyone but me will eat whatever I've made, so. I don't know. Aargh, something just needs to give a little, but I'm not sure what.
Pilllowfort is back next Thursday! I'm looking forward to that, and I'm hoping I'm out of this funk by the time I'm able to sit down and write a PF post. I don't want to start up with blah posts bitching about one thing or another. Hey, who knows? Maybe PF will be just the thing to lighten my mood. Of course, PF's return means DW will go back to being my backup account, but I'm going to try to make more of an effort to cross post my main entries. It would help if I could copy/paste entries from PF to DW without the font and text size going wonky, but I guess it is what it is.
Well, I'm out of things to tell you, and my letters are written, so I guess I'll do some coloring today. I hope you all are enjoying your weekend!
(no subject)
Apr. 23rd, 2021 11:58 amI'm not a big fan of getting up early to go out and do things before work, but getting up to run Rick over to his Ma's so they can go to the automotive shop wasn't too bad, largely because I'm powerfully motivated to get the car back. Odds are not really that good that it'll be back before I have to leave for work, but Rick says he'll swap it out of the parking lot for me so I can at least drive it home. Would I have liked to sleep 'til noon today? Absolutely, but still not as much as I want to be back in my own car by at least eleven o'clock tonight.
My actual work days have been good, and that's nice during a week that's been so generally bleurg. One of the nice things about my house on my shift is that I have a fairly set in stone routine, and that keeps things running smoothly even if I'm not feeling 100%. A lot of people think I'm neurotic about my routine, and if I'm to be honest, I am neurotic about it -- I mean, I don't know what else you can call it when I have minor freak outs if someone moves a fruit bowl I've prepped for supper -- but it doesn't hurt anyone, and it works. I will get through today and tomorrow, and then I can sleeeeeeeeeep.
I have pen pal letters written, but I don't want to parallel park the truck at the post office, so I won't mail them out until tomorrow or Saturday. Sorry.
Alex's jeans are supposed to arrive today -- I ordered him a couple pair from Duluth, and I'm hoping they fit better and are more durable than Wal-Mart jeans. I guess we'll see.
And, that's all I've got. I hope you all had a great week, and that you're having a good start to your weekend.
My actual work days have been good, and that's nice during a week that's been so generally bleurg. One of the nice things about my house on my shift is that I have a fairly set in stone routine, and that keeps things running smoothly even if I'm not feeling 100%. A lot of people think I'm neurotic about my routine, and if I'm to be honest, I am neurotic about it -- I mean, I don't know what else you can call it when I have minor freak outs if someone moves a fruit bowl I've prepped for supper -- but it doesn't hurt anyone, and it works. I will get through today and tomorrow, and then I can sleeeeeeeeeep.
I have pen pal letters written, but I don't want to parallel park the truck at the post office, so I won't mail them out until tomorrow or Saturday. Sorry.
Alex's jeans are supposed to arrive today -- I ordered him a couple pair from Duluth, and I'm hoping they fit better and are more durable than Wal-Mart jeans. I guess we'll see.
And, that's all I've got. I hope you all had a great week, and that you're having a good start to your weekend.
(no subject)
Apr. 22nd, 2021 12:24 pmYesterday did improve, but not as quickly or as much as desirable. I struggled with anxiety for the first couple hours at work, and that's not normal -- usually, if I'm having anxiety problems, going to work solves them pretty thoroughly. I didn't go on from there to have a bad day, but it turned out to be a one-foot-in-front-of-the-other sort of day. I guess the high point was that we had mushroom and swiss burgers for supper, and that's one of the few meals the kitchen reliably gets right.
Driving the truck sucked every bit as hard as I'd imagined it would. It doesn't have any pick up. The brakes are mushy. There's no cruise control. The radio randomly cuts outs. Something in the back window makes a clack-clack noise the whole time it's running. The gear shifter is weird, which is unsettling the first few times you have to put it in drive, which looks like second, or park, which looks like you're in reverse. There's a trick to getting the key out of the ignition, and it's one that I'm not terribly interested in learning -- thank God, I live in a low crime area. Half the dash lights don't come on. All in all, I'd have to say it's the worst vehicle I've ever driven.
The good news is that we get our car back tomorrow. Rick says that if he can't have it back to me before I leave for work, he'll go switch them out in the parking lot so I don't have to drive the truck home. Our car isn't the greatest vehicle, either, but it puts that truck right in the shade. And, as far as it goes, I'm glad we got new tires for her. I didn't know how bad the tire situation was, but I knew we needed to have them replaced, and best to do it now while we have the money instead of waiting for something to seriously go wrong on the drive to or from work at some future point when we'll probably be broke.
The snow is gone! I knew it wasn't going to stick, but after yesterday... yeesh. When I got up yesterday morning, it looked like a Christmas card outside, and I'm here to tell you that didn't lighten my heart. It was melting by the time I got up for the day, but it started snowing again yesterday evening, and the truck was iced over when I left work last night. I've just had enough of it. Enough. Today you can't tell there was ever any snow and ice at all, and that's the way I like it.
Well, that's about all. Hopefully today will be a better day than yesterday was.
Driving the truck sucked every bit as hard as I'd imagined it would. It doesn't have any pick up. The brakes are mushy. There's no cruise control. The radio randomly cuts outs. Something in the back window makes a clack-clack noise the whole time it's running. The gear shifter is weird, which is unsettling the first few times you have to put it in drive, which looks like second, or park, which looks like you're in reverse. There's a trick to getting the key out of the ignition, and it's one that I'm not terribly interested in learning -- thank God, I live in a low crime area. Half the dash lights don't come on. All in all, I'd have to say it's the worst vehicle I've ever driven.
The good news is that we get our car back tomorrow. Rick says that if he can't have it back to me before I leave for work, he'll go switch them out in the parking lot so I don't have to drive the truck home. Our car isn't the greatest vehicle, either, but it puts that truck right in the shade. And, as far as it goes, I'm glad we got new tires for her. I didn't know how bad the tire situation was, but I knew we needed to have them replaced, and best to do it now while we have the money instead of waiting for something to seriously go wrong on the drive to or from work at some future point when we'll probably be broke.
The snow is gone! I knew it wasn't going to stick, but after yesterday... yeesh. When I got up yesterday morning, it looked like a Christmas card outside, and I'm here to tell you that didn't lighten my heart. It was melting by the time I got up for the day, but it started snowing again yesterday evening, and the truck was iced over when I left work last night. I've just had enough of it. Enough. Today you can't tell there was ever any snow and ice at all, and that's the way I like it.
Well, that's about all. Hopefully today will be a better day than yesterday was.
(no subject)
Apr. 21st, 2021 12:56 pmThis morning the ground was completely covered in snow, but now it's melting rapidly. It's not okay -- I don't want to see this shit at all -- but at least it'll be gone by the time I leave work tonight.
I'll be driving to work in my mother-in-law's truck for at least today and tomorrow. It's a truck, which is a problem right there, but on top of that it doesn't have a working radio or cruise control, and you have to leave the driver's side window down because you can only open the door from the inside.
My foot still hurts. Not as bad as it did yesterday, but it still hurts.
I talked to my therapist at noon and our conversation was productive... but I kinda want to cry. I am not going to cry. I have things to do and I don't like crying. I want to go to work and get busy doing something to take my mind off of things. I will undoubtedly feel better later today or tomorrow.
Last week was blah and this one isn't improving. I hope things change soon. I've gotten used to having mostly good days, and I just don't feel equipped to deal with a stretch of bad ones.
I'll be driving to work in my mother-in-law's truck for at least today and tomorrow. It's a truck, which is a problem right there, but on top of that it doesn't have a working radio or cruise control, and you have to leave the driver's side window down because you can only open the door from the inside.
My foot still hurts. Not as bad as it did yesterday, but it still hurts.
I talked to my therapist at noon and our conversation was productive... but I kinda want to cry. I am not going to cry. I have things to do and I don't like crying. I want to go to work and get busy doing something to take my mind off of things. I will undoubtedly feel better later today or tomorrow.
Last week was blah and this one isn't improving. I hope things change soon. I've gotten used to having mostly good days, and I just don't feel equipped to deal with a stretch of bad ones.
(no subject)
Apr. 20th, 2021 06:09 pmWell, I did not make it to work today. It turns out that our tires are dry rotted, and there aren't more in stock. We'll have new tires on Friday, and I can borrow my mother-in-law's truck tomorrow and Thursday, but today I opted to just stay home. I'm sure I could've taken the truck today, but dammit, my foot hurts, and this is all the excuse I need to stay home with my shoes off for the day. I will probably pick up the living room a little bit, but due to other, chronic foot problems, I can't stand without shoes for very long, so I'll mostly sit here or there for the remainder of the day. It's nice having a valid excuse to do nothing!
