I'm pretty sure the mere act of looking back through February rendered me unconscious from effort. But three non-work things I did!

1. I went to fancy brunch at the local hotel school (where people learn how to be fancy hoteliers). It had two rooms, one with breakfast-y items and one with lunch and dessert. The selection was tremendous. The tastes were tremendous. The volume was approximately six human meals' worth. Truly epic. 

2. I painted Bleach-themed matryoshka for my friend and Tumblr co-blogger! I'm very proud of them. We had a little photoshoot before I put them in their box to be mailed, and I felt a pang of sadness to see them go:

3. I went to a presentation last weekend at the History Center, and learned about the first Chinese family to settle in the area. I can't do the presentation justice here, mostly because I am halfway to comatose and suddenly obviated of all life force, but it was a great time.

Happy new year!

As of the 22nd, I've officially been on LJ for twenty years. I'm not certain I could say that about many things in my life, so I am glad to have the milestone. In that time, I've posted 2,437 entries and 38,331 comments, and received 30,932 comments in return, which ratios the hell out of any other social media, certainly. 

Last night I celebrated Dean Winchester's birthday with this very fine meal:

The salad in the back is a Cobb salad, which is not a salad I typically choose for myself but felt very American diner (in this scenario Sam bows to stereotype and does get the salad, because I wanted one--I maintain that Sam *does not eat salads for every meal*). The burger is cheddar-jalapeño. The plate was a gift from septembers_coda and brightly_lit many years ago! <3

As far as the rest of the month goes, I opened it in California, visiting family, which involved eating a lot of things. The rest of the month has been fairly routine--by design, as I try to be very conscious of my time and energy and make workable plans for myself. 

One thing I've started is to write down one new thing I learn everyday, however big or small. My most staying things so far are: 1) That barn quilts exist (I went for a walk and noticed a bunch of houses had these pretty quilt-square things on the sides of their houses, and was like... have those always been there?? What do they signify?? What they signify is that my neighborhood community center held a barn quilt workshop and a bunch of people went to it, and then adorned their houses with the results, which I think is super cool!), and 2) a bunch of information about how to touch-up varying levels of paint damage to your car, because I drove my colleague home one night and was rewarded for this good deed by scraping against their fence on the way out. =_= There's not much to be done right now, because it's too cold for paint to function, but it should be an edifying project come spring.

I also watched the first season of Interview with the Vampire while stringing together 1000 paper cranes (a goal of 2024 I did not complete, and thus committed to now). I enjoyed it, and I think Sam Reid is a great Lestat. In high school, Anne Rice vampires were *our thing* amongst my friends group, so it was pleasant to return to that canon with very little retained memory of it. I love Louis's alternate backstory and the additional historical contexts it affords, in terms of setting the series in time and place. But I also kind of felt like the series felt like it had to be a little too buttoned-up about their presentation of the spectacle that is Anne Rice vampires. Like, everyone in this series is basically doing crazypants things the entire time, and they get to do that. But it often felt like there was this quiet insistent need to assure the audience that yes, that's all crazypants, and *we know this is problematic behavior don't cancel us.* Not that I think it's realistic to trust a general audience to be discerning and aware of that on their own--I just think either you're prepared as a text to take that risk, or you aren't. And it never quite felt to me that IWTV was.

Another month that was, by volume, really intensely about work! But I ate a lot of delightful things, some of which were work-related and some of which were not. (At my workplace's Winter Celebration my friend and I agreed that it really said something about how very sad we were that we were SO, SO happy at the Winter Celebration, and had been long forward to it SO, SO much. I was moved to tears by a gingerbread man.)

I also was in downtown Ithaca two separate times, which is a feat (despite the fact that this is, indeed, the location of my gas station and a place I drive through on the way home from the grocery store once a week). Once for the Habitat for Humanity cookie walk, which is a big fundraiser where a bunch of community members bake a bunch of cookies, and those of us who do not want to bake cookies come and buy them and donate the proceeds by volume to Habitat. And once for lunch with someone, plus an exploration of a new local bread bakery and a chocolate pop-up, both of which were delicious and educational.

I've been in California to visit family for the holidays and meet my dad's new dog, who is neurotic but full of personality and very cute. Also featured: soup dumplings, many a taro confection, syrok, sushi from a Hello Kitty-themed conveyor belt sushi place, and more. 

We also went to the local silent film museum, where the top two things I learned were that playing films at too slow a frame rate could result in them erupting into flames, and that since the films were hand-cranked and didn't always come with specific instructions about what frame-rate they should be played at, sometimes the showings weren't identical and the projectionist might get artistic about it. On Saturday evenings the film museum also hosts showings, so we went to comedy shorts night. They were splendid, and the whole affair was charming and full of enthusiasm on the parts of the hosts and audience. And wouldn't you know, my tenth grade high school English teacher sat behind us?? He approached my afterward to ask my name, and I was so impressed he still remembered me. <3

The other main thing I've done this November/December is play a ton of Zelda--I beat Ocarina of Time and it only took a month (my and my sister's previous attempts took seven years, which suggests that maybe I am, indeed, smarter and/or more observant now. Certainly I am not better at hand-eye coordination, a video game skill I've never possessed, but I can read for subtext and solve the puzzles, lol). I also played Link Between Worlds, which was so much fun I immediately started a new playthrough and am now halfway through the entire game a SECOND time. It's a pretty short game, and I find New Zelda (she says, about a game that came out in 2013. But all Zelda from 2003 is New Zelda to me) easier/a lower barrier to entry than old Zelda, without compromising on it just being FUN.

One thing I haven't done much of in the last two weeks is write fanfic, though, which I want to get back to. But you know what's a lot easier than writing? Collecting pixels in the shape of baby hermit crabs scattered across Hyrule, that's what.

Next year (next MONTH, as a matter of fact) is my 20th LiveJournal anniversary, which is pretty phenomenal just in terms of sheer dedication to the form. I stay here because 1) This is still my favorite fandom format, even if "fandom" proper hasn't existed here in over a decade, and 2) you, my LJ friends, mean a lot to me. So to everyone who's on this platform, with frequency or just here and there, I love you, and I hope you have a wonderful 2025!

What even WAS this month? I have no idea, and I have no idea where it went. I spent most of it [THESE ENTRIES AREN'T ABOUT WORK], well. Okay, then. Here are my non-work highlights!

Linkin Park: Linkin Park put out a new album, and linked up with some indie record stories to host listening parties (a full playthrough of the album a week before its release), one of which was only 30min from where I work?! In some random upstate down, population 6,000?? A "listening party" is not something I would go to in a million years, except that it's Linkin Park, my musical gateway drug, one of my favorite bands since I was 13. So I went, and it was very small and low-key, and I enjoyed it supremely. I teared up multiple times as they played the album.

I love the new album, btw. We already bought our concert tickets for next year. <3

Horseheads Mall: And the record store was in what is now my favorite mall of all time. It is the most liminal space I've ever experienced. From the outside--and frankly, from the inside--it looks like one of your typical Saddest Malls in America: Slightly empty, a little haunted, kinda grungy. It has typical mall stuff, like your JC Penney and Claire's and Bulrington Coat Factory and whatnot. But this mall has also been colonized by Nerd Kingdom, because it also has: a sword store, a massive board game/TTRPG store, a diecast store, an axe throwing place, an airsoft range, pickleball, a "break stuff" place, an arcade, a gaming lounge (separate from the arcade), and a bunch of other specialty/nerd ephemera stores. Guys, it has a SWORD STORE. 

Also, when I went for the LP listening party, it was also hosting a Comic Con, unbeknownst to me, so a ton of people were in cosplay. But half the people were also just there to do normal mall things?? And it's the combination of both happening at the same time I am so in love with. The paid portion of the Comic Con was set up in what used to be a Macy's, and even though it was filled with rows of comics booths IT STILL LOOKED VERY MUCH. LIKE A MACY'S. 

I went back the next week to pick up my copy of the LP album (because I liked the record store so much--this is like, an 80-mile roundtrip lol), and it honestly wasn't any less liminal. There was a woman with a giant, live white rabbit just draped over her chest and shoulder. In the mall.

I also got a massage at the mall, which was also liminal--you could hear mall sounds, but they were also playing poorly looped ambient "spa music"--and not particularly atmospheric, but felt really good. It hurt like hell, and then hurt like hell for a day, but then it felt really good. Would totally go back. 

Legend of Zelda: Hm, what else? At the record store (I got my mileage out of this mall, what can I say), I impulse-bought a copy of Ocarina of Time--I figured IT'S A TIMELESS CLASSIC--and I've played way more of than than I should have. It's utterly intoxicating. And even though I don't really play video games, it turns out I am a smarter person than I was when I last regularly played a Zelda game, because I am not finding it as excruciatingly challenging as I remember it being as a child. It's fun-hard (and... any time it gets more than fun-hard I just look stuff up on the Internet, which was not something that was possible the last time I regularly played a Zelda game).  So I guess I play video games now?

Bread: I also learned the other day that there are *three* indie bakeries in Ithaca I didn't know about, in addition to a new Taiwanese cakery at the farmer's market, all of which I'm very excited about. One of my new year goals is to make a local bingo card of stuff/places to try, and there's about to be a whole row just for bread. As is only appropriate. 

...Oh my god. Now I remember what November was. WE HAD AN ELECTION. HAHAHAHA. Oh god, we did. (No, we didn't.)

YouTube Music inspired reminder that Lisa Braeden's favorite song is "Behind Blue Eyes"--both the version by The Who and the version by Limp Bizkit.

I love you forever Lisa Braeden <33333333333

MY DREAMS / THEY AREN'T AS EMPTY / AS MY CONSCIENCE SEEMS TO BE

You'll never guess what October was like. In a rare turn of events it was, you guessed it, chock full!! In reality, I spent the vast majority of this month just working 7 days a week, well beyond the 9 to 5 window. But I got to take four days off (Thursday-Saturday two weeks ago and this past Saturday). But let's, as usual, ignore that and my extreme displeasure about that.

Two weekends ago, I went on vacation in Toronto. My bff from California flew in and I drove up, and we got to eat our way through Chinatown (divine), see the waterfront (Lake Ontario), go to a concert for one of our favorite bands--which was amazing--and. AND.

WE GOT TO SEE SALMON. SALMON JUMPING IN A RIVER. SALMON GOING UP RIVER TO SPAWN. We got to see SIX!! It was a holy experience, they were resplendent, and I want to see more salmon in a river every single year now.

I also went to a mushroom cultivation workshop last Saturday. The workshop itself wasn't great, pedagogically, but it was still nice to go to and now I have a bucket that if I can manage it, will become mushrooms over the next month. There are so many people in this area with so much knowledge, and I'd really like to be able to have time to actually take advantage of this and have a nice life. (I have a pretty nice life. But I want to work less.)

This was ages ago, but I also got to eat a pumpkin bagel with pumpkin cream cheese on it early this month. I biked 23 miles to go get this bagel and come back, and it was completely worth it.

Outside of that, I've spent most of my free time continuing to work out regularly (yay) and spending a lot of time writing--and then, lately, reading my own fanfic. I really enjoy working on it and I have read it so, so, so, many times because I really enjoy reading it.  What's disappointing, however, is that I have read it so many times I have definitely read it more than the entire rest of the world has read it, collectively. This is the long Bleach WIP I've been working on since 2021. I just started posting Part 1, as in the writing process I'm nearing the end of Part 2. So far I've posted 2 chapters/20k, and have managed to at least achieve my 10th kudos on AO3. Luckily I have a friend who has been leaving my extremely labor-intensive and very nice comments, which makes a huge difference, but my overall thoughts about how it feels to share this fic is: This is why you're ultimately going to die alone!! Your inability to connect meaningfully with other human beings, even in the context of the social lubrication that is shared fandom.

But I did also see salmon jumping in a river.

Haha, I feel so overwhelmed. But we're ONE WHOLE WEEK INTO SEPTEMBER so let me do a quick August recap!

My local racetrack does Bike Nights sometimes, where you can turn laps on your bicycle on the track. (It's a road course, so there's Esses and elevation changes and the ranking isn't as bicycle-unfriendly as an oval track might be, haha.) I went to the one in May, which was great. But at the August one... NASCAR Cup Series Driver of the #48 Chevy Camaro Alex Bowman came to bicycle with us?!?!?! Which was pretty cool and very sweet of him. I don't think I'm a big "meet famous people" person, but Alex Bowman is chill and has a very low-key, dry sense of humor and comes across as very genuine. I already liked him, but this made me really love him.

Bicycling-wise, I also managed to beat someone up a climb? Which has never happened to me, ever. Not that I bike with other people, so it pretty much couldn't ever happen, but this guy beat me on the downhill, and then I actually timed my way down the gears correctly and I passed him on the incline?? We weren't actually racing, lol, but I was like WHOAAAA. That happened!

--

At some point I need to stop writing "wow, that a full month" and just acknowledge that that is the default description of literally every month. Once again, we'll skip work stuff.

— I saw two movies in theatres this month, which is usually my max per calendar year. The first was Evil Does Not Exist, which was all right. Definitely immersive and atmospheric, with wonderful cinematography. There are a lot of excruciatingly long cuts--people chopping firewood in real time, people in city council meetings in real time. It's about a Japanese mountain town threatened by a glamping operation run by a talent agency hoping to capitalize on COVID subsidies. The pace is very slow until the very end, and then it's very, very fast. The second was the Haikyuu movie, which was one of the greatest cinematic experiences of my life. I immediately wanted to walk back into the theatre and watch it again. I felt every emotion on this earth and I haven't stopped thinking about how much I loved it, and it's been 2.5 weeks.

— I drove to Michigan for the second time this summer, the impetus for which was getting a crown done, and to which I tacked on 1) a two-night camping trip along the shores of Lake Erie, which was sublime despite being during a heat wave. I read many books, got some work done, wrote some fanfic, went on walks (in and around the lake), RODE A FERRY, explored an island, and saw fireflies and tiny bunnies and a raccoon right up against the mesh of my tent.

Then I was in Detroit for a baby's dedication, which was really lovely, and I rounded out the trip with a <3 friend visit <3 that involved more hiking and turtles and tiny frogs and black raspberries and SPN and delicious foods (and also a crown appointment).

On my way back it was good weather until Cleveland and then was, rather unexpectedly, 100 miles of storm so heavy visibility was almost zero, cars were going 30-40 down the Interstate with flashers on, my phone blared a National Emergency Alert that I couldn't read because I was driving (it was a tornado and flash flood warning for my area. Goodie!), and then after that spent another 200 miles driving through a lesser version of the exact same storm as it, too, moved eastward.

— Then, this past weekend, I hosted a friend visit! We went to Canadian Costco (for the poutine at the food court) and Niagara Falls, then spent a chill Sunday painting rubber ducks and watching the NASCAR race (bananas), before heading out on Monday to more local waterfalls and a local lake.

Saying Devil Makes Three music reminds me of SPN is completely cheating, because this is so true of basically any of their songs. But I'd previously attributed this one to Sam Winchester, and it came back via shuffle today and hit me so hard with all my feelings about Sam Winchester I am in a STATE right now. My heart is breaking:

It just makes me think about Sam and Jess, and Sam and the YED, and Sam and Ruby, and Sam and Lucifer and the long, long run that is Sam's life aaaaaaaaaaaaahHHhhhHHhahHHH

Come paint my face, come take my hand
I do not wish you to understand
Someday you too will go to war
And by that time, may you not fear death anymore

Fortune may hold you, she's not your friend
Kind words spoken, bows deepened
Foulest creature may wear the sweetest smile
Oh, do not fear for I will see you in a while

Eyes upon you through the years
All of your troubles, all of your fear
Always watching, always see
I am you now and you are me

If I should fall, you take my sword
All that is mine will be yours
Do not fear those we leave behind
The blood that runs in your veins, it is mine

I am a stone fallin' through black water
On the bottom, I start again
I am a stone fallin' through black water
My fall, it never ends
My fall, it never ends

Come paint my face, come take my hand
I do not wish you to understand
Someday you too will go to war
And by that time, may you not fear death anymore