You're as ugly as sin and as stupid as my foot!

i have a new lj--
alazar_crimson

add me..!!!!!!
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me and austin are going back out!!!! ive missed him so much. hopefully things are better this time. <3
im so extremely happy right now.
YAY!!

MODEST MOUSE TONIGHT.so exited.

You're Bettie Page!


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my mom doesnt belive me. me and my dad are just like, wtf? how can you not? and why would i lie about this type of thing? im really hurt that shed rather not belive me and think that larry is trying different methods to help my self esteim, a fucking 50 yr old shouldnt be helping me with that. how retarded would someone be. adn she talked to her boss about it. she says shes the victim too. how? someone answer me that.

fuck im so angry, and hurt, adn just sad at the world, especially my mom.
is this that big of a deal?(for those who know) like is it worth all the drama?

i want to sue him. then id be a true american. lol

Patience.

i wish i hadnt fucked things over. AGAIN. things just dont work out for me. and now i feel even more alone than i did in the first place. i realized why i am so dependent on other people, its because i have never been able to depend on anyone in my life, so now if i connect with someone, i start depending on them and weighing them down, i want to apologize.


i want you back
your the only thing im certain of in my crazy deluted world
your the only one for me,
my only love
i wish you felt the same
you should know
you should belive me
even if i lie to make it alright,
it will come out eventually
and i wish you would understand why i do the things i do
i wish i could write it to you
i want everything ot be ok again,
when i was with you,
all i could do is smile, so contently
now i see you, and want to cry
because ive hurt the one i can trust, the one i can love forever
my
only
one.

why must I ruin everything. with a sluring word, why must i become the girl I dispise most? why must i question every little detail in my life? why must i anylize shit untill i cry of self pity. why?

why cant he understand, i still love him. no matter what has happend, i still think of him, every minute of the day...i love you. when im with someone else, i still think of him.(im a bitch i know) why cant he understand, i want him back.i dont want to get over him. i just WANT him in my arms, to feel his warmth. to feel his touch once again. why cant he forgive me for what ive done.

i might end up pressing charges on larry. if anyone has an opinion, it'd be helpfull.

back at the padre's house. finally. my parents know about petafile larry...

my journal is now friends only.

anyone want to help me make a cool friends only sign thingy? and/or show me how to make links to post pics!

god all the words on the screen are really big. jesus