THIS MAY OR MAY NOT HAPPEN IDK MAN
sexual extortion: to pay for something | minor illness (cold, allergies) | mutation | head trauma | slaves (regular) |
multiple personalities: sudden onset | forced marriage | assault | counseling / therapy | bites |
brainwashing / deprogramming | ostracised from society | WILD CARD | major illness | undiagnosed, mysterious illness |
telepathy (sudden onset) | de-age (mental) | child abuse (emotional) | scars | loss of job / income |
undercover: having to participate in illegal / hurtful activity | pneumonia | mpreg - regular | toothache | dungeons |
My
hc_bingo card.Edit: Ohman I just noticed that I got M-preg. :<
...lollol most of mine are pretty gay, actually.
Avatard
Just saw Last Airbender, which I was psyched about. I had kinda ignored all the wank about it and HOPED.
Yeah it was terrible.
I tried to like it, I really tried.
There were things I really liked about it, like some of the casting and the atmosphere and the COSTUMES. But I cannot begin to describe how BAD the film making was. Special effects and shit were good, quality was awesome blah blah, but my god whoever was in charge of the editing and the story-boarding should be shot. I am so impressed by the fact that a film-maker that has made so many movies can be so BAD AT IT. The scene transitions were rushed, awkward, and didn't flow at all. I get that there's a lot of shit to cover, I've seen the whole series. But he really should have worried more about making everything flow. And like, introducing the characters. And HOW TO PRONOUNCE EVERYONE'S NAMES. It's not one of those things where you find out Hermione isn't pronounced "her-moin", because there is, you know, audio in the show. JDHJAKFH
The movie pretty much went like this:
KATARA AND SOKKA. OKAY SO FAR, HANGIN' OUT, SOKKA'S BAD AT THINGS BUT STILL SEXY. ALL IS WELL IN MOVIE WORLD.
...THEN SUDDENLY OHNO DON'T HIT THAT WIT
FROM HEY WE'RE IN MY HOUSE NOW OH NO ATTACKED NOW YOU'RE IN A SHIP OH, YOU GOT AWAY, COOL, SUDDENLY AIR-TEMPLE. And all that happened with-in like, 5 minutes. And I'm not kidding.
Just... AUUUUUGH
... I will still probably buy it.
Damn my loyalty to that show.
(also my favorite part was when you find out that Yue's magic is apparently contained in her hair.)
Yeah it was terrible.
I tried to like it, I really tried.
There were things I really liked about it, like some of the casting and the atmosphere and the COSTUMES. But I cannot begin to describe how BAD the film making was. Special effects and shit were good, quality was awesome blah blah, but my god whoever was in charge of the editing and the story-boarding should be shot. I am so impressed by the fact that a film-maker that has made so many movies can be so BAD AT IT. The scene transitions were rushed, awkward, and didn't flow at all. I get that there's a lot of shit to cover, I've seen the whole series. But he really should have worried more about making everything flow. And like, introducing the characters. And HOW TO PRONOUNCE EVERYONE'S NAMES. It's not one of those things where you find out Hermione isn't pronounced "her-moin", because there is, you know, audio in the show. JDHJAKFH
The movie pretty much went like this:
KATARA AND SOKKA. OKAY SO FAR, HANGIN' OUT, SOKKA'S BAD AT THINGS BUT STILL SEXY. ALL IS WELL IN MOVIE WORLD.
...THEN SUDDENLY OHNO DON'T HIT THAT WIT
FROM HEY WE'RE IN MY HOUSE NOW OH NO ATTACKED NOW YOU'RE IN A SHIP OH, YOU GOT AWAY, COOL, SUDDENLY AIR-TEMPLE. And all that happened with-in like, 5 minutes. And I'm not kidding.
Just... AUUUUUGH
... I will still probably buy it.
Damn my loyalty to that show.
(also my favorite part was when you find out that Yue's magic is apparently contained in her hair.)
MY WONDERFUL DAY
Series of events which lead to someone telling my boss I should be fired.
1. On Saturday Asshat McDumbfuck asks for OJ to call him after she prices trucks on Tuesday. Fine.
2. Finds duck. Duck is in a 50% off area but has been marked down from $135.00 to $100.00.
3. Asshat thinks that duck is $50. I tell him that I can only do half of the original price, not the markdown, as that is the agreement we have with our dealers and this is what OJ has told me to do in the past.
4. NO I AM WRONG THERE IS NO SIGN THAT SAYS TH
5. I don't make the rules. Therefor I cannot change them. He yells at me for awhile.
6. Asshat STORMS OUT AND WILL NEVER SHOP HERE AGAI
7. OJ comes in. I tell her what happened. She's like wtf, this guy's done this sort of thing before.
8. I sell duck to someone else on Sunday night.
9. Ass hat comes in MONDAY. HE WANTS HIS DUCK AND HIS TRUCKS. OJ doesn't come in until Tuesday.
10. Asshat comes back Thursday. complains about me not giving him the duck for the price he wanted, trucks, SELLING THE DUCK WHEN HE HAD IT ON HOLD O
(PROBLEMS WITH THIS AGRUMENT:
- Never put Duck on hold. Stormed out and was NEVER COMING BACK. Never mentioned anything about holding the duck.
- Even if he DID put the duck on hold it only would have been held until Sunday around noon.
- Came in Monday, not Tuesday.
- Dur.)
11. OJ basically tells him everything I did, in a less polite way.
12. HE HAS REFFERED PEOPLE HERE AND HAS SPENT THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS HERE W
(Problems with THIS argument:
- He never comes in. I have seen him like, twice before.
- He has NOT spent thousands of dollars there. OJ laughed really hard at that.
- We DON'T WANT HIM TO COME BACK.)
JAKDHJKFHKAFJKAHSDJKHDAJHFJAHFJAHSJHDF I w
Oh yeah, and 50% off of the original price? $67.50.
$17 for all that butthurt.
Tales for Childrens
So at work I've been reading fairy tale books I've been finding. And I know old fairy tales are much more morbid then those we read to kids today, but I seriously found the saddest wtf fairytale of all time. This isn't the most bloody/gory, but... wtf. I cannot imagine reading this to a kid and going "OKAY, NIGHT. SWEET DREAMS. :D "
THE STORY (paraphrased because I am so not typing all that shit up) :
ONCE UPON A TIME there were a well off couple all honorable and awesome and very much in love. ONLY... "Sore sicke he was, and like to dye, No helpe his life could safe ; His wife by him as sicke did lye, And both possest one grave."
So these two fine fellows were in their deathbed, and they had two equally awesome kids. "The one a fine and pretty boy, Not passing three yeares olde ; The other a girl more toung than he And fram'd in beautye's molde."
The uncle of these children sat with the two dying parents as they read him their will. The son was to get three hundred pounds a year when he came of age, and the daughter Jane (no, the son doesn't have a name) would get five hundred pounds as a dowery. But if the kids died before they came of age the uncle would get the money.
They pleaded with the uncle to look after his kids and love them, and God would reward them for his good deed, blah blah. Then they kissed their children, cried, and died. The uncle promised their dead bodies that he'd take care of the children, and do no wrong to the kids. He took them home and played with them and was a good uncle and there's a picture of him being like "WHEEE CHILDREN I LOVE YOU I THROW YOU INTO THE AIR" .
But then after a year he decided "... Nah. Screw this, I'm gonna be rich." and hired two ruffians to take the kids out into the woods and murder them Snow White style.
He told his wife that he was sending them to London to be brought up with his friends, and the two guys rode off with the kids who thought life was awesome and had great fun on the ride, talking to the two men and generally being all cute.
So they got to the woods and one of the murderers decided that he couldn't do it, but the other wanted that money they were promised. SO THEY FOUGHT. And the good murderer won and killed the other. "He took the children by the hand, While teares stood in their eye, And bade them come and go with him, And look they did not crye : And two long miles he ledd them on, While they for food complaine : 'Stay here,' quoth he, 'I'll bring ye bread, when I come back again."
"These prettye babes, with hand in hand, Went wandering up and downe; but never more they sawe the man Approaching from the town. Their prettye lippes with blackberries Were all besmear'd and dyed ; Thus wandered these two prettye babes Till death did end their grief ; In one another's armes they dyed, As babes wanting relief."
"No burial these prettye babes of any man receices, Till Robin-redbreast painfully did cover them with leaves."
THE END.
THE FUCK. Seriously. What the hell kind of story is that? What's the moral? Don't die after you have kids? I kind of love it.
THE STORY (paraphrased because I am so not typing all that shit up) :
ONCE UPON A TIME there were a well off couple all honorable and awesome and very much in love. ONLY... "Sore sicke he was, and like to dye, No helpe his life could safe ; His wife by him as sicke did lye, And both possest one grave."
So these two fine fellows were in their deathbed, and they had two equally awesome kids. "The one a fine and pretty boy, Not passing three yeares olde ; The other a girl more toung than he And fram'd in beautye's molde."
The uncle of these children sat with the two dying parents as they read him their will. The son was to get three hundred pounds a year when he came of age, and the daughter Jane (no, the son doesn't have a name) would get five hundred pounds as a dowery. But if the kids died before they came of age the uncle would get the money.
They pleaded with the uncle to look after his kids and love them, and God would reward them for his good deed, blah blah. Then they kissed their children, cried, and died. The uncle promised their dead bodies that he'd take care of the children, and do no wrong to the kids. He took them home and played with them and was a good uncle and there's a picture of him being like "WHEEE CHILDREN I LOVE YOU I THROW YOU INTO THE AIR" .
But then after a year he decided "... Nah. Screw this, I'm gonna be rich." and hired two ruffians to take the kids out into the woods and murder them Snow White style.
He told his wife that he was sending them to London to be brought up with his friends, and the two guys rode off with the kids who thought life was awesome and had great fun on the ride, talking to the two men and generally being all cute.
So they got to the woods and one of the murderers decided that he couldn't do it, but the other wanted that money they were promised. SO THEY FOUGHT. And the good murderer won and killed the other. "He took the children by the hand, While teares stood in their eye, And bade them come and go with him, And look they did not crye : And two long miles he ledd them on, While they for food complaine : 'Stay here,' quoth he, 'I'll bring ye bread, when I come back again."
"These prettye babes, with hand in hand, Went wandering up and downe; but never more they sawe the man Approaching from the town. Their prettye lippes with blackberries Were all besmear'd and dyed ; Thus wandered these two prettye babes Till death did end their grief ; In one another's armes they dyed, As babes wanting relief."
"No burial these prettye babes of any man receices, Till Robin-redbreast painfully did cover them with leaves."
THE END.
THE FUCK. Seriously. What the hell kind of story is that? What's the moral? Don't die after you have kids? I kind of love it.
So I'm going to die.
Yesterday we found out that we have a carbon monoxide leak in the MH. It's DANGER level is CAUTION!, which means that if it isn't taken care of immediately it could develop into danger level WE'RE ALL DEAD. When will out owner fix it? My moneys on after one of us turns bubblegum pink and dies. Or the building becomes condemned. Whichever comes first. Why are there dangerious levels of carbon monoxide in our store? Our ventilation system is in DIRE NEED OF SERVICE. The gas company's words, not mine. He also used all caps in his report.
BUT THAT'S NOT THE BEST PART OF THE STORY.
Someone DROVE THEIR CAR INTO OUR STORE. He was on his way home from court because he had a DUI. So he drove drunk into our store. Yeah, good job dude. So one of our walls is boarded up now.
So with this and the mold, water damage, guy that pees in our bushes at night scaring the fuck out of Kayla and I, I'm not too optimistic about the rest of the year, lol.
BUT THAT'S NOT THE BEST PART OF THE STORY.
Someone DROVE THEIR CAR INTO OUR STORE. He was on his way home from court because he had a DUI. So he drove drunk into our store. Yeah, good job dude. So one of our walls is boarded up now.
So with this and the mold, water damage, guy that pees in our bushes at night scaring the fuck out of Kayla and I, I'm not too optimistic about the rest of the year, lol.
i wrote this at work
I saw a pink plate.
Stamped on the underside was:
"Farts Etcetera"
I'm an artist, you guys.
Stamped on the underside was:
"Farts Etcetera"
I'm an artist, you guys.
Victrola love.
My room is full of elephants, they’re colored green and pink,
There’s also purple monkeys and I cannot sleep a wink,
Well, we’d like to take them from you but there’s no room in the zoo,
They’re bringing they’re relations now, so what am I goin’ do?
Just shut the door,
But they’re coming through the window!
Well, shut the window!
Now they’re coming through the door!
Aw, shut the door!
But they’re coming through the window!
Look, now they’re coming right up through the floor!
Today I discovered Billy Murray and Walter Scanlan's Shut the Door (they're coming through the window), on a record from 1929.
NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Also Kayla and I made motherfucking George Forman Grill cookies today at work. Er, well, a giant George Forman Grill shaped cookie.
Then we made spoon cookies, which turned out better.
SPOON COOKIE RECIPE IS AS FOLLOWS:
serving spoon
Tollhouse chocolate chip cookie dough tub
George Forman Grill
eraser
peanut butter jar
Fill spoon with cookie dough, set aside. Turn on your George Forman Grill and prop the lip open by setting the grill's handle on eraser stacked on the peanut butter jar (peanut butter jar may bubble slightly). Insert spoon into you're makeshift oven and bake for roughly 10 minutes.
There’s also purple monkeys and I cannot sleep a wink,
Well, we’d like to take them from you but there’s no room in the zoo,
They’re bringing they’re relations now, so what am I goin’ do?
Just shut the door,
But they’re coming through the window!
Well, shut the window!
Now they’re coming through the door!
Aw, shut the door!
But they’re coming through the window!
Look, now they’re coming right up through the floor!
Today I discovered Billy Murray and Walter Scanlan's Shut the Door (they're coming through the window), on a record from 1929.
NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Also Kayla and I made motherfucking George Forman Grill cookies today at work. Er, well, a giant George Forman Grill shaped cookie.
Then we made spoon cookies, which turned out better.
SPOON COOKIE RECIPE IS AS FOLLOWS:
serving spoon
Tollhouse chocolate chip cookie dough tub
George Forman Grill
eraser
peanut butter jar
Fill spoon with cookie dough, set aside. Turn on your George Forman Grill and prop the lip open by setting the grill's handle on eraser stacked on the peanut butter jar (peanut butter jar may bubble slightly). Insert spoon into you're makeshift oven and bake for roughly 10 minutes.
SWINE FLU
My mom just got back from the doctor. She has SWINE FLU. Which means that so does the rest of us sick heads.
Fucking pigs.
Ugh, I dunno how I'm going to take time off work. OJ and I are the only ones that actually work there, really. D:
Balls.
Fucking pigs.
Ugh, I dunno how I'm going to take time off work. OJ and I are the only ones that actually work there, really. D:
Balls.
OMFG
THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE IT IS SO PERFECTLY DONE OMG