Just Say It Already!

Ok, here I am again. How frustrating it is to like a guy who's taken! I haven't thought I'd be in such situation at 21.
The worst thing that he's girlfriend is abroad and still we can't even talk and meet as friends, because it seems kinda strange, considering we've only met twice. And I already made a mistake of inviting him to go out. Twice.
Well, maybe it wasn't a mistake, at least now I know I did everything I could. I've just got tired of waiting for the 1st step from guys and decided to take the matter into my own hands. It didn't help, though.
It's not like I want to date him (oh, no, actually I'd love to, but since he has a GF he's off limits for me, it's the rule), I'd be okay with just hanging out. 'Cos the guy is really great - intelligent, smart and really beautiful, he has everything I want from a man. When he asked me out for a night coffee (it lasted only about 30 min due to the circumstances) I was nervous as a school girl! God! I think I wasn't at my best that night, no, I'm sure of it.
Now, when he politely refused to go out with me to watch a game in a bar (I believe his words were 'We'll see, but I don't promise anything'), my chances are lost. Have to get over it :)
P.S. There's a popular belief that when a girl says 'no', she means 'maybe',etc. I think this code works for guys,too. But when he says 'maybe', it means 'thanks,but no'.
Oh, and forgot to say. The worst thing here is the fact that there's plenty of guys who'd like to go out with me and even date me, but I don't like them at all. Forbidden fruit and all that, I suppose..
Thanks for 'listening' to my ramblings!

I think I'm starting to hate Kentucky. I can see why no one else I work with wanted to come here.

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Is it really that bad not to have big ambitions? Why should I dream of a career in the profession I don't really like when everything I want is to move to another country? I think it counts as an ambition. So what if I wouldn't get a job named in my diploma? Yeah, I wouldn't be able to find a high position, since being a foreigner, but I guess it'd make me happy - to make a dream come true.
My mom just doesn't want to understand that. She doesn't believe I'll be able to leave my country for good. But I do. :)

-before leaving my room
i turn,and(stooping
through the morning)kiss
this pillow,dear
where our heads lived and were.

People think that I'm always this fun loving guy, and I don't want to ruin that persona, but I'm not, and I just needed to let someone know that.

I don't think it's possible to have a succesful long distance relationship. It's crap.

My parents forbid me to go to work. Is it bad that I wanna make some money to spend my holidays abroad and not to sit at home all summer??Yeah, I have to study, but I think I could double-job. And all of this, considering that I just might not tell them about my intentions at all! Honesty is the best policy, huh? Don't know what to do..

Sometimes I wish alcohol wasn't such a double edged sword.

Chemists do it on the table periodically.

[Standing on her tiptoes, Madotsuki peeks through the crowd, a tiny frown on her face. After a few more attempts, she manages to catch the attention of a few people and waves to keep their eyes on her before speaking again. Glinting on her finger is a silver ring indented with a pinky-purple gem.]

Um... has anyone been asked about making a contract recently?