duck, goom

test

Want to see if I succeeded in entering a thingumabob in the LJ command console and making this community automatically friends-only. This is a test.

I feel lobotomised (though that's nothing to do with LJ and everything to do with my cold).
pudding

hormonal observations

I've been thinking about stone butches of late, my own relationship to "stone" (not being touched sexually) and how that has changed with hormonal changes. Ok, so when I first started shagging girls, I was definitely the "do-er". I wasn't into being fucked at all, or even touched there particularly. I relaxed a lot over the years but I was still always the one that started it off. It was sort of like my bits were an afterthought.

Then testosterone came along. Pretty much over night I changed. I suddenly really couldn't see the point of using a dildo. It didn't make sense anymore. I couldn't feel it! I wanted a cock, not some bit of silicone! Fucking someone was just a means to an end, I wanted my giblét sucked. Fucking men suddenly made sense for the first time in my life because, I realised, they could take care of their own orgasms. There wouldn't be that time when I had to think about anyone but myself and my own incrediable horn. Sometimes I found fucking stopped making sense altogether and I jsut wanted to wank and get off. This didn't, as you can imagine, make me a very sensitive lover.

Other changes. I could fancy women I'd never met. People off the telly, films, Buffy.. I could wank just at the thought of fucking them with a cock. No scenarios, no build up, no story. Just thinking about fucking.

Now I've been off testosterone for over two years and I'm somewhere in the middle. I can pretty much come from fucking with a dildo again, it makes sense to me. My own bits are fun, but don't get me off as much as making someone else come does. I don't fancy anonymous women anymore but do tend to "fall in love" ridiculously easily. In fact, my fantasies tend to be embarrassingly romantic and elaborate rather than just thinking of a physical act.

So what of this? I dunno. I just wanted to right down the differences because I don't know anyone else similar.