Rattle (Roll Another Number)
The tale that you have dialed has been disconnected. There is so much of nothing that I have to say, fifteen minutes' worth and then I sleep the medicine is stroking my brain with soft blue fingers nails blunted past touching, silk soft.
I wait for the coming of night rain. I feel water moving in the darkness, but not in any way that threatens. I am at the threshold of another story, something else uncurling, I don't know for which fandom or why, doesn't matter, does it, I have come to accept that my fiction will all be fan-oriented, that I am not have not are not the soul of a novelist, that not everyone is or does or has.
I have am keeping, keeping time, old promises made in the throes of summer fever in the tide, in spray and salt and good morning, good night.
The Rhythm Of The Saints is, hands down, my all-time favorite album, by any artist anywhere. I notice new layers and thoughts in it every time.
I sat and did my homework in the computer lab tonight; that was a nice experience, that was fun. It took two hours to turn out eight hundred words of competent, adequately-resourced copy (I had to pause to read two sources for proper dissection, or I would have finished in an hour and a half.)
It felt natural, worked out well; I had a nightmare--a tension dream, I guess, one in which I flunked out, of course, but nothing unbearable or violent, just stuff that makes me grind my teeth in my sleep and wake with an aching jaw--about statistics class this morning, I also woke at three this morning, not from the dream but from the barking of the dogs.
I stayed awake on adrenaline and stubbornness until six, then went back to sleep until about noon. Had a minor frustration fueled shouting match with my parents for an hour. I don't even remember what it was about; I think we were all just using it as an excuse to yell at something for awhile.
We are all living under a lot of stress right now, both individually and communally as a unit. I'll just say "whatever" because I don't feel like spending details on it.
Right now, Plants Versus Zombies is my game. I'm on the roof levels and feeling pretty happy about it. I finally got the cat tails on the pool levels; I love the cat tails they are so cute and totally powerful as well.
I'm also looking forward to playing Peggle. I like to play games that leave me a certain amount of non-involvement or room to think about other things outside of the game itself WHILE I'm playing it.
I'm sure this is because when I first started playing games, there was only one Nintendo in the whole neighborhood, and it was at my friend Jennifer's house. So like, the whole neighborhood would come over and hang out in her living room and we would all take turns playing Mario, or, a year or so later, Zelda. (Because we lived overseas, our releases were delayed.)
So yeah. A lot of us would hang out and talk about other things while we watched the game and waited our turn. For me, gaming has always been an at least quasi-social activity. Sometimes it was the only thing I had in common with the other kids at all, the way I got to belong for a few minutes every day.
I think the Wii looks like mad fun. I would totally invite the whole class over to play Mario Party if I had a Wii.
In before "Jesus Jheti you're almost thirty, this isn't how adulthood works."
Adulthood is lonely and boring, you guys. Seriously. Except for brief, bright pockets of awesome known as "meetups."
Time's up for today. I think we made a lot of progress here, today.
I wait for the coming of night rain. I feel water moving in the darkness, but not in any way that threatens. I am at the threshold of another story, something else uncurling, I don't know for which fandom or why, doesn't matter, does it, I have come to accept that my fiction will all be fan-oriented, that I am not have not are not the soul of a novelist, that not everyone is or does or has.
I have am keeping, keeping time, old promises made in the throes of summer fever in the tide, in spray and salt and good morning, good night.
The Rhythm Of The Saints is, hands down, my all-time favorite album, by any artist anywhere. I notice new layers and thoughts in it every time.
I sat and did my homework in the computer lab tonight; that was a nice experience, that was fun. It took two hours to turn out eight hundred words of competent, adequately-resourced copy (I had to pause to read two sources for proper dissection, or I would have finished in an hour and a half.)
It felt natural, worked out well; I had a nightmare--a tension dream, I guess, one in which I flunked out, of course, but nothing unbearable or violent, just stuff that makes me grind my teeth in my sleep and wake with an aching jaw--about statistics class this morning, I also woke at three this morning, not from the dream but from the barking of the dogs.
I stayed awake on adrenaline and stubbornness until six, then went back to sleep until about noon. Had a minor frustration fueled shouting match with my parents for an hour. I don't even remember what it was about; I think we were all just using it as an excuse to yell at something for awhile.
We are all living under a lot of stress right now, both individually and communally as a unit. I'll just say "whatever" because I don't feel like spending details on it.
Right now, Plants Versus Zombies is my game. I'm on the roof levels and feeling pretty happy about it. I finally got the cat tails on the pool levels; I love the cat tails they are so cute and totally powerful as well.
I'm also looking forward to playing Peggle. I like to play games that leave me a certain amount of non-involvement or room to think about other things outside of the game itself WHILE I'm playing it.
I'm sure this is because when I first started playing games, there was only one Nintendo in the whole neighborhood, and it was at my friend Jennifer's house. So like, the whole neighborhood would come over and hang out in her living room and we would all take turns playing Mario, or, a year or so later, Zelda. (Because we lived overseas, our releases were delayed.)
So yeah. A lot of us would hang out and talk about other things while we watched the game and waited our turn. For me, gaming has always been an at least quasi-social activity. Sometimes it was the only thing I had in common with the other kids at all, the way I got to belong for a few minutes every day.
I think the Wii looks like mad fun. I would totally invite the whole class over to play Mario Party if I had a Wii.
In before "Jesus Jheti you're almost thirty, this isn't how adulthood works."
Adulthood is lonely and boring, you guys. Seriously. Except for brief, bright pockets of awesome known as "meetups."
Time's up for today. I think we made a lot of progress here, today.
i am still right here
tired
blank