jfictitional

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
siarven
charlesoberonn

America has a weird relationship with cults where they’re terrified of small cults (or organizations they think are cults) but completely normalized massive cults that hurt many more people (eg: LDS Church, Jehovah’s Witnesses, the Amish, Scientology, most Megachurches)

charlesoberonn

To anybody asking if the Amish are a cult, the answer is yes, very much so.

They’re a high control group that isolate you from society. The cult decides how you dress, how you behave, who you marry and how. They control what you know, blocking all information from the outside world. They control how you feel and what you’re allowed to think with threats of both social and supernatural harm. They’re a cult.

charlesoberonn

The best method to determine if a group is a cult, in my opinion, is Steven Hassan’s (cult expert and former cult member himself) BITE model.

BITE stands for Behavior Control, Information Control, Thought Control, and Emotional Control.

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The more points a group “scores” on the model, the more of a cult it is.

I think this model is the best one for several reasons:

  • It’s more nuanced than “cult” or “not cult” and doesn’t make false equivalences between groups
  • It’s versatile, applying to groups big and small, and cults of all kinds, religious, political, financial, etc.
  • It focuses on what’s important, which is what the cult does to its members, and those members’ experiences, and not on irrelevant details like how uncommon their doctrines are or whether they have a charismatic leader
charlesoberonn

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This is a great example of Thought Control used by cults whenever they’re confronted with criticism.

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saxifraga-x-urbium

#you might notice that there are a lot of similarities between cult techniques and those of abusive partners#and that is an important thing to be aware of

yah that goes in the post

charlesoberonn

The creator of the BITE Model considers abusive relationships to be two-person cults.

forgotn1

It’s important to note that almost every sect of evangelical christianity in the US today fails the BITE Model.

thiswas-myname-2

This was the post that lead to breaking my JW mindset. Been a while since I seen it.

charlesoberonn

I’m glad I could help in your deconstruction, if only a little bit. I wish you all the luck in your journey moving forward.

cults
sarabibliomania
rainydaydecaf

I never saw people say stuff like this enough when I was a teenager, so I’m saying it now.

I’m in my mid-thirties and I have never had sex. I’ve thought about it and could have had one or two opportunities if I put in more effort, but I always decided against it because I just wasn’t into it at the time.

I can safely say that I do not feel I have missed out on anything. I was perfectly capable, by myself, of learning about my own body and boundaries without anyone else there to muddy the waters. The immense pressure that was there in my teens/twenties to Have Sex Just Do It is basically gone. I’m vibing. I’ve got my routine by myself in bed that I enjoy, and that’s enough for me.

And in the unlikely event that I ever decide to have sex with someone in the future, I don’t feel at all like I’m lacking some essential Knowledge or Skill that would “make it good” for someone else. I fully expect to ask my partner out loud what they like and to receive an answer clearly communicated and to relax and have fun. And if it’s a disappointing experience, I’m fine with that too. It is what it is.

Sex is just not that big of a deal. I suspected it as a teen, and I’m more sure of it now. It’s fine to have it or not have it. It’s whatever.

it me
inkloom
allthingswhumpyandangsty

PSA: NEW SCAM ALERT

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AO3 team will NEVER contact you via your fic’s comments section!!!!!!!!

if you get a comment from someone claiming to be from AO3 in any way, shape or form, IT IS A SCAM.

if you get a comment from someone claiming they work with AO3 and that your AO3 account has been compromised or restricted somehow and that you must contact xyz or open a link they give, IT IS A SCAM.

they want to hack your account and/or steal your credit card/personal information (because the link they want you to click on will require your login info and/or your other sensitive information!!!!)

*the same scam tactic can be seen on tumblr where these scammers claim to be someone from tumblr team too

DO. NOT. FALL. FOR. IT!!!!!!

here’s AO3’s official statement about it

here’s the post I made that covered other types of bots

Archive Of Our Own AO3 scams signal boost
definitelynotsorry
homunculus-argument

where do you draw the line of when it's appropriate to hold a conversation with someone who's currently using the bathroom?

never ever ever ever ever ever ever under no circumstances wtf no

text messages/other text-based conversation is fine

phone calls are fine but no face to face conversation

talking through a closed, locked bathroom door is fine

only if you're both on the shitter, either in a public bathroom or on the phone

bathroom door may be open but the other person won't look that way

I will sit there in the bathroom with you making solid eye contact like a dog

option of infinite nuance

op wtf you forgot the most obvious answer

[measure this by the closest people you know - family, spouse, siblings, etc. not like strangers or co-workers.]

fittingoutjane

Talking through the door is fine, but generally it's more polite to wait until they're done unless you have a reason you need to. Like, "Hey, anyone got a tampon?" Or, "Steve, where are you, are you in the bathroom?"

polls text me if it's an emergency but otherwise fuck off
elumish
elumish

It is possible to both talk about the need for better representation and recognize that readers are responsible for what they read.

What I mean by that is this: it is a fact that there are significant representation gaps and problems for virtually every marginalized group, which are significantly worse in certain genres and media.

But "there are no good stories about x marginalized group" is not true for virtually every marginalized group, and it is especially true for large marginalized groups like women and Black people.

So you as a reader don't get to blame authors for the fact that you don't read stories about women, or about Black people, or about disabled people, or about asexual people, etc. You may not consciously be avoiding those stories, you may not be spontaneously running into them in the wild, but you are also not making an honest effort to find those stories. Because if you were, you would be finding them.

It's not the fault of capitalism that you don't read about women or Black people. It's not the fault of the publishing industry or TV broadcasters or fanfiction writers.

We talk a lot in fandom about how readers are responsible for what they read in the context of not getting mad at authors for writing something that you don't want them to be writing--but it's also true when it comes to choosing what to read or not read.

Go look for stories about people you don't usually read about. I promise you will find them.

elumish

Anyway the next person who says they just can't find any good stories with female characters is getting a snorlax thrown at them.

reading representation it's out there you just have to look hard enough
pantserspen
pantserspen

How to Write Childhood Truma

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  • Focus on Impact, Not Shock The goal is not to describe trauma in graphic detail. It is to show how it shaped the character.
  • Show Long Term Effects Trauma does not disappear. It influences attachment, trust, anger, and coping habits.
  • Avoid Making It Their Only Trait A character is more than what happened to them. Trauma informs them, but it does not fully define them.
  • Use Subtle Triggers Certain smells, words, or situations can spark strong reactions. Small moments often feel more real than dramatic flashbacks.
  • Show Coping Mechanisms Humor, perfectionism, avoidance, control. How they survive matters as much as what they survived.
  • Let Healing Be Uneven Progress is rarely linear. Setbacks feel authentic and human.
  • Avoid Romanticizing Pain Trauma should not be aestheticized or treated as a shortcut to depth.
  • Research Responsibly If writing outside your lived experience, study real psychological effects with care and respect.
  • Show How It Affects Relationships Trust issues, fear of abandonment, emotional distance. Trauma often shows up most clearly in connection.
  • Tie It to Character Growth Whether they heal, cope, or struggle, their past should influence their arc in a meaningful way.

Join the Newsletter! Get Free Character Sheets!

writing characterization character backstory
himluv
himluv

Man, I love books.

I love getting hold notices from my library. A gift! It has arrived! Waiting just for you!

I love listening to audiobooks on my morning commute. A solo storytime where I usually get to learn something new!

I love old paperbacks, spines cracked and covers jagged, pages wafting that old vellichor scent. I think that's what love must smell like.

I love reading late at night, just a few more pages eked out before I turn off the light.

I love a book carried everywhere. Road trip, doctor's office, break room, bathtub, swimming pool, beachside. Anywhere you wanna go, a book can go with you. The real ride or die.

I love graphic novels, going beyond words to tell a story. Teaching me a different language of narrative.

I love that ebooks exist! That reading has become so accessible we all carry entire libraries in our hands.

I love book clubs and author signings. I love poetry readings and review series. I love literary events designed to discuss, engage, and teach about books!

I just... really love books, man.

reading pure