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cautiously optimistic

@jesterhooves

donovan | he/him, it/its | 20 | https://donnievansoup.carrd.co/ | mainblog for @clovenhoofedjester. very unorganized

πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έnationwide recall of outshine plant-based frozen fruit bars due to contamination with glassπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ

this frozen dessert is also known as an ice pop, popsicle, paleta, lollipop, lolly, ice lolly, icy pole, ice block, ice drop, ice gola, ice candy, ai tim tang, ice cream tang, and kisko. whatever you call these flavored frozen something-or-others on a stick, these recalled ones have a secret ingredient: glass

and that glass has best before dates all the way into november 2027.

for whatever reason, the FDA has made it unnecessarily difficult to tell if you have any of these recalled outshine fruit bars. more on that towards the bottom. I (rune) went ahead and made the batch information easier to read, because it feels extra bad imagining people panicking through the recall announcement trying to figure out if they or their children possibly ate glass.

if you have an affected box, do NOT eat it. throw it out or return it to the store for a refund. make sure everyone else you know does the same, because eating glass can cause unwanted side effects. such as death

πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ US food recall links | how to report a problem with food πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ

August 18, 2026 - Dreyer’s Grand Ice Cream, Inc. is voluntarily recalling a limited number of select flavors of Outshine Fruit Bars due to possible foreign material contamination with glass. Products affected include Outshine Strawberry, Watermelon, Grape, Tangerine and Black Cherry 6-Count 2.5 ounce Fruit Bars and the Outshine 24-Count 2.5 ounce Variety Pack Fruit Bars. These lots were distributed to retailers nationwide.

"limited number" and "select flavors" are doing a lot of heavy lifting for a nationwide recall where the contaminated fruit bars were distributed to too many retailers to list.

No other Outshine products or varieties are impacted. ONLY the five flavors of 6 Count (2.5-oz bars) and Outshine Variety 24-Count (2.5-oz bars) Fruit Bars. Batch codes can be identified on the product packaging.

really neat thing to emphasize after dreyer's original recall failed to list every product affected by the glass contamination. this post is actually about the expanded recall. surprise!

the original version of this line was, "No other OutshineΒ productsΒ or varieties are impacted. ONLYΒ the five flavors of 6ct 2.5-ounce paddle bars."

no need to worry about our other products being affected by glass contamination, unless you trusted us the last time we said this...a whole three days ago! move on

Dreyer’s is taking this action out of an abundance of caution following consumer reports of glass found in the product. No illnesses or injuries have been reported to date. Anyone concerned about an injury should contact a healthcare provider immediately. Consumers who have purchased the affected product should dispose of it or return it to their place of purchase for a full refund.

as is the case with countless food recalls, dreyer's only discovered their desserts were contaminated with glass and subsequently issued this recall after multiple heroes reported issues with their food. no glass-related injuries have been reported yet, but...be real, chances are good someone already ate some amount of glass. if that sounds like you, dreyer's says to pursue medical attention (or at least professional medical advice) immediately.

even if the glass only slices your digestive tract a teeny tiny bit, any possible germs on said glass (and anything else you eat afterwards) get expedite delivered directly into those cuts and might lead to a serious infection. consumed glass could also become embedded somewhere on the way in, on the way down, and on the way out of your body. a scenario like that could require surgery to remove the glass.

if you do accidentally eat glass, PLEASE report it to both the FDA and to dreyer's to get your injuries officially recorded. the more heroes who report injuries and illnesses from their food, the more these issues get taken seriously, the more people find out about them, the more other people can be protected, and the more easily other victims can receive medical care and possibly compensation. in a worst case scenario, eating glass or food contaminated with mystery germs can result in lifelong disability or death. please help save lives.

The safety, quality, and integrity of our products remain our highest priority. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this action may cause our consumers and retail customers. We remain committed to maintaining the highest standards of food safety and quality and to earning the trust of our consumers and customers every day.

...which is why the dreyer's primary official website, icecream.com, definitely contains a prominent warning about outshine fruit bars containing glass? or at the very least a search result for "recall"? surely someone who claims safety as a "highest priority" would never half-ass communication about actual glass, right? (whoops!)

none of this PR bullshit matters. dreyer's should have at least had a prominent banner and recall page template ready, filled out, and published by now. plenty of other food manufacturers manage that part just fine. despite dreyer's PR pinky promises, they already extensively fumbled this recall. my (rune!) sympathies to anyone else devastated by dreyer's performance. and also the glass

Consumers with questions may contact Dreyer’s Grand Ice Cream, Inc. Customer Service at 800-392-4885, Monday thru Friday 8am to 5pm EST. Dreyer’s Grand Ice Cream, Inc Media Contacts: dreyers@casupport.com

got questions? want to know when dreyer's plans to add prominent banners and pages to their websites about their glass recall? reach out!

alright, now here is where things get confusing. on the FDA's table listing the specific recalled products: product packaging (name and quantity) and UPC (identifying product number) both say "see image below". the batch code/best before date column is still correctly filled in, albeit attached to incomplete information.

the FDA apparently expects everyone to look at the blurry-as-shit images, transcribe flavors and UPCs in order, and then link them to the incomplete table. possibly while racing against the melting of their creamless ice. keep in mind, recall announcements do frequently contain errors, including having their associated photos incorrectly ordered or labeled. but the tables are usually at least completed.

so, where exactly is the list of recalled flavors and UPCs in plain text to know for sure? especially if the images are too blurry to read?

...hidden within the fucking alt text!!!!!!

and so it was up to me (rune!!) to utilize my expert hacker accessibility alt text skills and format this information for the tragically-tableless tumblr. why these steps were skipped over on the FDA website with full table capabilities in favor of making people hunt for it, I (rune!!!) have no fucking clue. rough times at the US FDA

reminder that tumblr natively supports alt text on both desktop and mobile, and more people should be using it. after attaching a photo, click on the meatball menu/3 dots to add a brief description.

rune (me) recall pro tip: to check your bars, take pictures of the box and then promptly put it back in the freezer. do not keep the box out while looking through the numbers. otherwise, much like the eventual fate of all things on our fragile earth, your treats might disappear into memory

RECALLED OUTSHINE FRUIT BARS, THEIR UPCS, BATCH CODES, AND BEST BEFORE DATES (see bottom of package) BELOW THE CUT

hello guys in light of disability pride month i would like to urge everyone to practice harm reduction in any area of life if it is possible for you. if you have an eating disorder please let yourself eat enough for your body to keep going, especially because it takes more energy for disabled people to function. if you abuse substances please make sure they don’t interact harmfully with any medications you take (for example: watching your alcohol intake when on SSRIs). if you self harm please clean your wounds so your body doesn’t have to overcompensate when trying to heal. if you mask heavily for social survival please try to give yourself rest and breaks so you don’t completely burn out. i know sometimes all of this is impossible, and that’s okay. but if you can, i urge you to be a little kinder to yourself this month. i love you.

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somethinginthestatic

being in your early 20s is crazy bc there’s people who are literally married and people who’ve never even dated and people who are trapped in their childhood bedrooms waiting to get out and people who are trying to live out romanticized dream lives and people who are completely on their own and people with multi tiered support systems and we’re all supposedly peers and none of us think we’re doing it right at all

"Learn the fundamentals first" seems like really sound universal advice, and as a former classical musician, I can vouch for it. You will have a more solid foundation for increasing complexity if you put in the time to study in a structured way. If you don't, you'll have a lot of shit to fix later.

As a former music teacher, I can also say that "learn the fundamentals first" is the death knell for a vast percentage of beginners, especially adult learners.

I've run into this with drawing several times, where some well-meaning artist has lectured me on needing to study anatomy properly or not use shortcuts like CSP brushes. And oh, believe me, I know. I know exactly how to learn an artistic discipline in a structured way. I just...don't want to!

The thing is, I'm not aiming to be a professional artist. I want to draw my gay little anime guys. I would undoubtedly improve at art much faster if I approached every gay little anime guy drawing as a study exercise. But I would also have quit drawing a decade ago if I couldn't just let myself enjoy drawing imperfect fucked-up little guys with whatever shortcuts I needed to body myself across the finish line.

With my adult piano students, my approach was always "What's your goal?" If their goal was to learn exactly one Elton John songbook to play at parties, then...that's what we did. We'd put tape on the keys to label the notes, and just fuckin go for it. Learning exactly one Elton John songbook is a good and noble musical goal, full stop.

Some of my students needed and enjoyed a more structured approach to learning; if they wanted to be able to play classical music, then yes, scales were going to have to enter the equation at some point. And yet others would learn the Elton John songbook, catch their white whale, and realize they wanted to explore more of the ocean. The scales were still there for them to learn!

Often the choice isn't between "learn art well" and "learn art imperfectly" - the choice is between "learn art imperfectly" and "don't do art at all." To which I say, learn imperfectly! Or, what the hell, don't 'learn' art. Just do, and enjoy the doing of it.

You have official permission from your local pretentious classical music snob: fuck the fundamentals. You can always unfuck them later (but only if you want to).

unthrifty--loveliness-deactivat

Just so we’re clear, if I point out that you did something racist, that’s not the same as me thinking you’re irremediably terrible. You did a racist thing.

unthrifty--loveliness-deactivat

You think you don’t do racist things, homophobic things, etc? You do. I caught myself in fat phobic and homophobic lines of thinking/speech just this morning. I’m fucking gay married. Nothing disqualifies you from acting in a way that reflects the society you exist in. We are obliged to fight it. Why not fight it in honesty and with camaraderie?

once you learn enough about evolutionary biology you start seeing ghosts everywhere

after the end cretaceous extinction event, basically all megafaunal niches were suddenly empty; and most got filled in some way. proboscideans instead of sauropods, carnivorans instead of theropods, ungulates instead of ceratopsians and hadrosaurs etc...

but the thing is: only *most* got filled to some extent

not all

because there used to be dragons

and now their niche is just *empty*

it's like i can feel the gap they left, in everything from open grassland ecosystems to isolated islands; the world we know is shaped by the absence of a truly big flying predator

no bird could ever fill their niche, because of plain and simple anatomical constraints

because they cannot use their wings to jump

birds could never be azdarchids

they could never be dragons

there are no more dragons

but there used to be

there used to be...

august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good

Your 20s are not about getting your life together they're about learning to escape the self imposed torture labyrinth you've built inside your own head

Your 20s are not about getting your life together they're about learning to escape the self imposed torture labyrinth you've built inside your own head

My favorite emoji expression me and my friends came up with is "throwing rocks at it"

Basically if you ever see or hear something that displeases you, You go like this:

🫳πŸͺ¨

🫳πŸͺ¨πŸͺ¨πŸͺ¨πŸͺ¨πŸͺ¨πŸͺ¨

☺️🫳πŸͺ¨πŸͺ¨πŸͺ¨

So on and so forth. But also if something is beautiful or true you throw lotus.

🫳πŸͺ·πŸͺ·πŸͺ·

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phineastratchet-deactivated2025

I have one that;s called "picking grapes off the vine"

πŸ‡πŸ€

🀌🟣

this method could also be used to pick other things, if you'd like...

πŸŽ‚πŸ€πŸ€ŒπŸ•―οΈ

πŸ’πŸ€πŸ€ŒπŸ¦Ÿ

β›°οΈπŸ€πŸ€ŒπŸͺ¨

🫳πŸͺ¨

Alternate timeline in which all Greek and Latin roots are swapped:

catastrophe -> contraverse cephalopod -> capitoped chlorophyll -> viridofolia democracy -> populimpery homicide -> anthropoctony homosexual -> equigamic kilometer -> millimensure interregnum -> mesarchy magnanimous -> megapsychic manuscript -> chirography motorcycle -> ergatorote microscope -> parvovisor oxygen -> acidofex polyamory -> multierasty television -> remotoscope universe -> monostrophe