sometimes i still need you ♥

This journal is somewhat friends only because. . . well, it just is. SO ADD ME IF YOU'RE COOL, OKAY. OR IF YOU'RE NOT COOL, THAT'S ALRIGHT WITH ME TOO. I LOVE YOU ALL THANK YOU FOR BEING ALIVE.

Basically, it's pretty much public, but I locked everything I only want my friends to see.  This is mostly personal life; friend issues, etc. So, yeah, add me if you care about that stuff.

But I wouldn't add me if you can't deal with capsrape and major fangirling times 100+.

love,

Hello all.  I am now making a post to say that

MY EAR HURTS LIKE A MOTHER OF FUCK

Seriously.  I'm not a baby, at least, I don't think I am, and cartilage piercings don't hurt at ALL when you get them done, but BEWARE FOR THE AFTERWARDS.  Maybe it's different for every person but I'm so tempted to take it out right now, it feels like a huge bruise on my ear.

Thank you for your time.

Oh gosh, I usually don't do these things, but I have to say that I once boycotted the FOX company (this was before I was a real big House fan because lmfao if I was. . . yeah it would never have worked).
It was extremely stupid of me LOL but I felt like it was the only thing I could do after Paula left American Idol. I WAS LIKE, IRRATIONALLY PISSED AT EVERYTHING.  FIRST I WAS PISSED AT HER, THEN AT THE SHOW, THEN AT FOX IN ITS ENTIRETY FOR NOT PAYING HER MOAR AND TREATING HER WITH MORE RESPECT.  Although Paula did say it was not all about the money and it was more about the principle; she wanted to do different things in life, anyway.  But yeah.  I boycotted FOX for as long as I could, which was not long at all, because I couldn't not watch for that British bastard rofl. Luv him.

It was really stupid and I look back on it now and laugh, because it's not FOX's fault, really.  Still, corporate greed can go DIE LIKE A MOTHER OF FUCK.

Paula Abdul was just on my tv.  ♥ ♥ My bb.  My dad and I are sitting here watching VH1.  Now it's John Fogerly.  Anyway, they were showing little fact snippets whatever and one of them was like "Paula was told this video wouldn't make a fucking dime.  A week later, it was #1" (This was Straight Up).  It made me be like, ALL PROUD, LIKE SHE'S MY CHILD OR SOMETHING.  Just hnnng I love her.

That is all for now, I believe.  Dinner's ready anyway.  I think I'm going to the gym in an hour or so, must get in shape for pre-season.  *Secretly doesn't do a thing and dies just like every year prior* OH ME.

Okay so, last night I had my first ever Lisa Edelstein dream and just like KSDJFLKSDJF
I've had dreams in which I met Jesse Spencer (one of them I was Cameron in, and I kissed him and it was just a wonderful thing), dreams in which I've hugged Simon Cowell and felt up his arm because I AM A FUCKING RAPIST AND LOVE HIS ARMS OKAY and a few where I've met Paula Abdul, too.  Usually, even though there's a bunch of people I love in Hollywood, I don't have dreams about meeting them unless they're like super super important to me.  So I guess Lisa now makes the cut OMG I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF jk I don't have a life.
Anyway, I want to remember it, so here is how it went.

I think it was like, supposed to be field day or something, because I was on the school's track.  I was running this race with this girl who goes to my school, Becca (who looks sfm like the woman from Joy in the face, I'm not even joking you it's so damn creepy omg) and we were running arm in arm for some reason, I kept doing that with all the friends I was running with.  We were trying to run to the beat of something? Idefk, it makes no sense.  But we were doing this weird thing with our feet.  And then my Korean friend Kelsey comes up and WE start running arm in arm.  I think it was so we didn't lose track of each other while running.  IDEK.  

Okay so THE GOOD PART WHERE I MEET MS. WONDERFUL IS after I get back to the starting line with Kelsey.  My mom's standing around talking to Kelsey's adoptive mom and my best friend Holly's mom.  And then Lisa's behind her in a purple dress (no make up on but still GAWJUS, and her hair is curly and shoulder length) and for some reason I don't do anything about it yet.  I'm talking to my mom, and then I turn around and I hear my mom be like "Well I guess I should say bye to you now," and Lisa answers her, and I spin around and am like *POINTS IN HER FACE* OMG YOU'RE... and she laughs, and then we start talking all cool.  And I was like "Sorry I like, pointed right in your face" and she was like (: THAT'S OKAY, I RUBBED IT RIGHT OFF. LMFAO OMG LISA, EVEN DREAM YOU SMILES LIKE, 24/7.  And I was all "Yeah, I think that was really cool of you, really... not-stuck-up of you. ;)" And she laughed and then we were talking like I talk to regular people I get to know (I don't even fucking know HOW I was staying so calm in my dream but thank God I was because she seemed to really like me) and then she was like "Okay, I have to go now," she leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek like she does with all her friends, and then she did it again and was like "I'm giving you extra because I feel that way" LMFAO but in the dream it wasn't a lesbian thing, it was like... she was saying that I was a special fan or something, and I'm positive about that because that's the feeling I got in the dream.  Idek I can't explain it, but it was that thing that in a dream you KNOW without anyone tell you.  And I was all alskdjafkgj.  And then she turned to leave, but turned around again and gave me a high five, and we were about to trade phone numbers so we could be BEE EFF EFFs but I never got the courage to ask so she just left.  
And then I walked back on the track again like it was the most normal thing ever and I got in the way of someone doing the shuttle run ROFL and bumped the ball, and everyone was like "DO IT AGAIN JENNA WAS STILL ON THE TRACK."

Yeah, that's pretty much my dream. OMG WHY WASN'T IT REAL ;_;

I am so serious right now, you guys. <- LMAO NOBODY READS MY JOURNAL.

But like, I just watched What Women Want (for the wonderful Lisa E, of fucking course, even though she only has like .0000087 seconds of screentime) and he's all sensitive and shit.  It's kind of funny that he's the icon for that.

I should not be finding this as funny as I do.  What is wrong with me.

"YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING BITCH IN HEAT" Mel, I don't really think that's what women want to hear. JUST ME, THOUGH.

I'm not privatizing this post, because it's too important to me, and you all can see my pathetic fangirling, IDGAF. ENJOY.

Well, guys, I guess I'm slightly more coherent. I didn't even bother coming here Monday, Tuesday, or even yesterday evening, because I was way too fucking overwhelmed and my sentences probably would have been all like DLKSJDLFKAJEDFLK;;;ldfgklkf FUCK YES BB FUCK YES DAVID SHORE I LOVE YOU AND WOULD HIT YOU LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN AFTER THAT SCENE, because yeah, that's basically what my feelings were after I stopped bawling. My capslock key was pretty broken by the end of the night, lmfao I'm not even kidding, it kept making this weird noise so I got off because I obv. needed to, like, take ten hundred chill pills or something. I cried, yes, I know, it's just... a little ridic of me, to cry over a fictional couple, but so what? I don't care anymore. At least I cried over something as meaningful, albeit fictional, as Lisa Cuddy and Gregory House finally giving each other a chance.  After twenty damn years. . . well, six for us (actually six years packed the fuck into one year for me because I had to catch up with this amazing show), they're giving each other a shot.  They know that they're shitty and broken and just fucked up but they don't care because they have this amazing, complex... mutual need, and I just love the beauty in that sfm I can't even formulate the words.  ♥ ♥ They need each other, and they are finally taking that step to admitting and acting on it. Omg.  It's so beautiful just lksjdflkjl.

AND YOU GUYS, THE SCENE. OMG THE SCENE. Don't even get me STARTED on that. I have watched it so many times I have every single dialect/hand motion, blah blah blah etc. memorized.  Can I just say that her SMILE when he goes back in to kiss her after he says "Yeah," is probably the BEST MOMENT EVER IN THAT WHOLE SERIES JESUS FUCK.  I mean omg, she closes her eyes and LEANS INTO HIS KISS FROM THE SIDE.  She looks so HAPPY.  I have really never seen her look that sincerely happy and full of hope about anything ever, and that means so much because it was about House.  

I am so looking forward to them exploring this relationship further next season, you don't even know.  Actually, you probably do, but still. To have such an amazing crew of writers take them to the next level-- they're going to work, you guys, I have a feeling.  Maybe not work as in the normal, mundane way, but work in their dysfunction, if you get what I'm saying.  And it is going to be AMAZING.  Amazing, screwed up, angsty... just everything, but they're going to go back to each other in the end.  If Cuddy had the courage to finally tell him she loved him, and he finally had the strength and passion enough to want to make his life for the better, I think they'll work despite every problem they have because they just can't love anyone else the way they love each other in their screwed up way.  As long as House tries to at least understand her sometimes and not make her feel like shit, and vice versa. (and I think, I THINK, don't quote me on this, but I THINK he's going to make an effort.  He already has. They already understand each other).

OMG you guys I have so much more to say, but I kind of have to get to class, so I'll leave it at this.

HOUSE AND CUDDY ARE CANON.