babycoric_boygirl posting in
findingfriendsIs there an interesting story behind your username?: my username is just two gendery terms that apply to me. Babycoric is a xenogender related to the aesthetic 'babycore.' And 'boygirl' is a term that I feel really resonates with me when it comes to how I experience gender. I'm bigender and while none of my genders really count as binary male and female, my main two genders are pretty close, in a way.
Location and language(s): United States, only English (unfortunately. I wish I could learn others, but it's very hard for me.)
Age range (e.g 20s, 30s, etc.): 20s, but I'm not really a typical young adult either. My internal identity is weird when it comes to that stuff because neurodivergence and trauma be weird like that. Also, I'm suspicious of people who only want 18+ interaction because there's no easy way for me to tell the people who'd dislike me (due to me not being 'adult enough' for them) apart from the people who have legit reasons to have that boundary.
Hot button/deal breaker issues that will likely lead to unfriending: Bigotry, even if it's against groups that are commonly seen as fine to be bigoted towards. I'm the type to get annoyed at a leftist show for having ableist and adultist jokes, so if you dislike people who are 'too woke', then you don't want me as a friend.
Do you have an "About Me" post new friends can read to get a sense of who you are, the people you talk about regularly, etc.?: Not yet, but I have considered making one. I do have a bit of info on the mini bio on my profile, though.
Is your profile up-to-date or at all useful?: I assume so? I didn't join that long ago.
List a few things you think it's important new friends know about you right away: I'm queer (the kind that's cool with however you identify even if some would call it 'contradictory'), I'm part of multiple groups on top of that that people find cringe (ex: agere, otherkin, furry), I've got audhd, I'm struggling a lot with some pretty intense mental health stuff, and I don't really care that much about meeting society's ridiculous standards anymore. (For example, I'm of the opinion that people who are averse to eye contact, whether it's due to being autistic or something else, should get to do whatever. I'm not a liar just because I don't make eye contact, I just don't wanna feel uncomfy for people who aren't worth it.) (Sorry if that counts as more than 'a few things', I'm kind of a yapper!)
You mostly write about: I'm still making up my mind. I don't have a specific theme for posts, but I'm really interested in being able to yap about my interests. It'd be kinda hard to give a list of those simply because some of them very much depend on how much energy I have to do things like engage with my hobbies.
You never or very rarely write about: I'll never post about detailed sex stuff because I'm a sex repulsed ace and the kinks I have are the types of things that I wouldn't wanna post about.
Is your journal mostly public, locked, or a mix of public and locked?: mostly public.
Do you use filters for certain types of posts (e.g. fandom-related posts, or posts about sex, or mental health issues, etc.)?: I try my best. And on anything that I think has a high possibility of being triggering, I add a warning or disclaimer on the first line even if the triggering thing is something that seems pretty small to me personally.
Your posting frequency (e.g. daily, every few days, weekly, etc.): It varies. My mental health struggles have made it hard for me to process time the ways most people do. Sometimes I'll think I made a post yesterday and then look at my profile and see that I haven't posted in two days. This will probably get better in the future, but for now please don't count on me having a reliable internal sense of time.
Does your journal frequently include any of the following: memes, linkspams, gifs, photos, videos, etc?: Not really? And odds are if I include anything approaching that stuff, I'll be linking to it rather than having it as part of the post.
What do you enjoy most about journaling?: Having a place to yap in the way that feels most easy and natural to me, aka through typed words. My communication issues are much worse when I'm having to verbally communicate with people in situations where there isn't much time to think stuff over.
How often do you read your friends list (e.g. daily, every other day, once a week, etc.)?: I haven't been on here very long, so I don't really have many friends at all, therefore there's not much reason for me to check it. If I had more friends on here then I don't know how much I'd check it.
You really enjoy reading about: people pondering things (especially if those things are major big picture type things like 'is it ethical to convince people that the world has rigid rules inherently when that simply isn't true?'), people being unapologetically weird in ways that I know would likely get them hate comments on toxic platforms like Tiktok.
You have very little interest in reading about: explicit sexual content (if it's only every now and then and I can easily not view it, it's fine, I guess), posts that discuss things like intense child abuse and sexual harm with no warnings (I'm fine with posts like these sometimes, but I need the warnings.
Your thoughts on journals that regularly include any of the following: memes, linkspams, gifs, photos, videos, etc?: It depends. If the links are to things like actually helpful mental health resources then I might love them. Videos I likely won't look at simply because the bluetooth on my laptop isn't working right and my only corded headphones broke.
When it comes to comments on your posts, what matters more -- quality or quantity?: I definitely like quality comments, but I also don't mind people just responding with a heart or a very short comment if they gotta. I'm very bad with social things so I don't want people feeling like they have to overthink whether or not their comment is 'good enough.'
Do you unfriend people who don't comment much, even if you know they are reading you regularly?: Nope, I'd never do that. There are so many reasons someone could be in a slump when it comes to social stuff, even 'smaller' stuff like commenting on posts, so I wouldn't wanna unfriend over that. Also, I post about a variety of stuff, so the lack of comment could easily be the person simply having nothing relevant to say because they don't know much about the topic. I don't wanna assume.
What is your approach when it comes to commenting on other journals?: I wanna comment when I can (like when socializing in general isn't something that'll screw with me) and when the topic is something where I feel like I can actually contribute something to the convo, even if it's just a 'you made good points when you mentioned X about Y.' I am prone to overthinking and spiraling over things, though. Odds are when I do comment it'll be after I have reread my comment several times at least. Don't worry, it isn't personal, I'm just an anxious wreck.
When you friend someone, but things don't really click, do you unfriend them without warning, or do you send them a note first? How do you prefer to be unfriended in similar circumstances?: I have no idea the social rules for this. I'd be the type who'd be very anxious about sending a note because I'd be scared of coming off as rude. I don't really mind if people unfriend me without warning, but like, is that because I assume that's the default? I don't know.
AND LASTLY
Friending memes often ask people to list their favourite TV shows, movies, books, etc., but more often than not, those aren't things people actually write about in their journal. Do you have any favourite TV shows, movies, books, etc., that you DO often write about -- not necessarily in a fandom sort of way, just in general?: I have no idea at the moment. I haven't had the energy recently to get super into anything, so I don't know if I'll ever be into a piece of media enough to wanna post about it.
Any final thoughts you'd like to share with potential new friends?: I'd very much love to have friends who have the same 'cringe culture is dead' type of mindset that I have. For me, it's more like 'cringe culture is alive but we should all kill it together.' People still do get hurt by those types of mindsets, but I fully support encouraging people to throw those mindsets into the trash to make room for healing. Also, I go by they/it pronouns! I get how me seeing myself as a boygirl may cause some confusion there, but I don't go by either of the binary pronoun sets.