R.I.P. my son. Huberto Lowrider. 11-01-97 - 10-06-09 . ive been depressed the past day or so. cuz of hubie. but also cuz of my boyfriend. he has me so i wake up scared to look at my phone that he found some stupid ass reason to be mad at me. i miss him. we used to be able to talk about everything. he used to be on my side. now hes turning me into his enemy. i dont know why. maybe its cuz he got problems. or like they sed in westcare ya know. you sabotage when shit is going great. it just sucks. and last night he kept asking me wuts wrong cuz i wasn't being normal. well im scared to fucking love you right now cuz u keep hurting me. but i dont think i can tell him that without him being offended right now. i miss livejournal. ive been having a lot of crazy thoughts latley that i need to put down. cuz its all staying in my head and i need to get it out. and god forbid i have a paperjournal cuz pops will find it and take everything in there offensive. right now i just really wanna die. its too much effort to be alive right now.
Well im outta rehab. now for almost a month. ive been fucking lazy though and not looking for a job like i should be. i need to get on it. cuz jobs are hard to find right now but all well. anyways...
last night i had this trippy ass dream. i had a dream that i was in greece or somewhere over there with big towers n old school jesus type monument type shit and i had a brother. and he was cool....and then this guy came along and my brother started acting weird. and in my dream he was older then me and bigger n taller..he was pretty handsome..so i know now that if i had ended up a dude i would have been hot. ha. anyways. he started like twitchin n shit and my dad told me to pick him up....i think it was my dad so i picked him up and was holding him over my shoulder like he was a little kid or some shit..but he stopped twitching so i put him down...and then he was like 2 feet taller..and he had an evil look to him. then i picked him up again cuz the other guy was like..prancing around....and my brother looked like he was gonna try n kill him so i picked him up again...then a couple seconds later i put him back down. he was like 2 feet more taller now and looked really evil. then in the dream i figured out that my brother was the devil and he was gonna try n kill the other fool who i assumed was jesus or god or someone like that....and then god dissappeared and my brother dissappeared chasing him. then i saw them go into this fish tank..big ass one like at sea world n shit and my brother turned into a killer whale and jesus was like a little goat..and then just as my brother was about to eat the goat he turned into something else and then my brother turned into something else and then jesus turned into a puff of white smoke and my brother turned into a puff of black smoke so yah. that was a weird fuckin dream. and im thinkin about it so i figured i would write it down so as to help get it outta my head. im gonna go kick it with big steven so ill write more later.
Jay is one dead Nigga. His 6 ft 8 inch 300 lb black ass decided it was smart to break my nose. well well. you are one dumb motha fucka. Nescio, Art, Bugsy, My man, and Crow...are going to eat you...and I will join them. I hope your as excited as I am :D. I bet youll taste just like chicken. Finger lickin Chicken looking ass.
:D.
I have 3 hamsters that i bought off this little boy for 5 bucks. I am trying to find them a home. and Meg. if you read this. Serio mami. I am so sorry its taking so long for your pills. Ill have them today. i Promise.
well. dec 6th i go to court. im pleading No Contest to 1 felony of burglary with a firearm. But im happy about because i only got 1 felony when i was facing 6 and a gazillion years in prison..or so my lawyer put it. hah. but im gonna take responsibility for the 1 felony, have NO RECOMMENDATION for prison :D, and prolly have a 1-3 year suspended sentence. :). being a felon is gonna make it hard to get a good job. but i can seal my records in 10-12 years. but...itll be worth it cuz im free and not locked up. BUT on the downside, i have court on december 12th. in which case i am getting locked up for 4 months. im pretty sure. my other lawyer said unless i can find some evidence to back me up, then im doing 4 months. but its okay because ill have a misdemeaner of receiving of stolen goods over $400. outta all the people in the car, i got caught becuase my dad made me turn myself in. so they could throw the GTA charge on me too to be dicks, but they are being okay about it because i dont know why. but yah. theres a warrant out for one other person in the car and thats tony, but hes locked up. and i know once he gets out he aint gonna take care of it. hes gonna get caught up for it when he finally goes back to california and hes still fuckin up doing the same bullshit stuff there and get locked up and then they are gonna be like well guess what buddy...youve got a warrant here. aint that special? i think when i go to jail, im not gonna write david...call him, or hopefully ever see him again. for both of our own goods i guess. iunno. i care. but shit. gotta let that shit go. hah. WHen im locked up i need yall to write me! and ill write you long extensive boring letters back :D. lol.
wo0t. and im back. im gona be a writing fiend. i missed livejournal. but im comin..back *busts into that one song that used to be on a commercial for like..tampons or something..or maybe it was clothes or something? iunno but there was a black lady with an afro..it was like..8th grade era..hah..*only she says im comin out....i think. ~.^
Dont push me nigga, cuz im close to the edge and ill jump off with a rope tied around your fuckin head
wow. i feel so stupid. lmfao. hokay...heres how this went
....dropped my mom off at work..went n got blood taken to check on my neck...went to borders..spent like an hour there and i thoght i spent like 3 hours. i was just taking my time and looking through allllll these different books that i wanted...deciding if i should get some or not. i ended up buying 2...
-Necronomicon -Necronomicon Spellbook
....necronomicon was written by a mad towelhead a long longass time ago. shit about the devil, and demons and all that good stuff. i hope its interesting. i started reading it already and so far it aint shabby. anyways. from there i went to diversity. got a new nipple bars....then i went to petsmart. cuz i gotta bring the dogs in to get their nails trimmed and i was seeing if there was an opening...lady was bored outta her mind said come at any time..preferably soon cuz shes really bored. haha. then i went to arbys..hoping anthony or fran might be working. neither of them were :(...then i look at the time..and feel insanely dumb. i can't believe its only like..11:30. fuckin a. time is going by SOOOO SLLLLOOOOOWWWW today. lol. but thats okay. im gonna go back to arbys later... :).
my dads making me read this book called "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands"..and im almost done with it....2 words... Eat Me
my brain is on fire, and so are my ears. i think i have double ear infections. i have the worst fuckin headache and i can't even think about touching my ears or they start throbbing :(.
yah..i haven't gone to bed yet. cuz ive been dickin around with massive lyrics. lol. im gettin all these old songs i used to listen to and i miss them so much. so im gonna start listenin to them again. :D
hehe. then i found a bunch of my old rap shit. fuckin a.
a playa knows when shes bein played. shit. i know. i know i know. guess im gonna go back to my playa ways? hmm....well see. hehe:D. not that i was much of a player anyways..but i aint nobodys then. that way i can fuck whoever wants me. and thats all there is to it. none of this confusing bull shit max is tryin to pull. i know hes a player. hes so against players that its like...perfect cuz hes a hypocrite. ....
so i say if hes playin me....then ill play him. and to him, be exactly the way he is to me, a bold-faced fuckin liar.
yah yah. i write in my journal too much....so eat me. ha. fuckers.
i update so much cuz i like to type and i never chat with anybody..so..here is where i get to do my typing. i dont know what it is about typing that amuses me so. and im such a fuckin loser..that i would sit here and talk about how much i love typing. yup.
every morning i go to wal-mart..cuz im a wal-mart adict..and theres this dude kelly that works there..and hes nice. and he always talks to me. i felt i should say that.
haha. im so fuckin tired..so right now im insanely not in my mind.
i bagged, a whole box of go fish cards, a whole box of vibrating squirrels, a whole box of oompa loompas...this other thing that..i have no idea wtf it is. its one of the toys...and about 30 mr. potatoe heads..just cuz i wanted to when i was at work tonight. we will definitly have enough toys tomorrow night :P haha.
last night was kaleighs last night :(. she was cool. really really nice.
im a stock-a-holic. its a good thing i dont work at wal mart or somethin like that where you restock 24/7...cuz then id just sleep on the bench outside...and then keep working every time iw oke up. ha.
the past couple days ive hella been in a rap mood for some reason. i think its cuz ive been pissed off. in my fuck you im gonna blast you with my 9 mood...
TJs in jail. he called me the other day. hes fucking lucky hes in jail. cuz thats the only way i can't hurt him. but when he fuckin gets out, hes a dead man.
erics in there with him. eric can fuck off. next time i see that little bitch im gonna fuckin kill him instead of just breakin his jaw. hes a fuckin pussy.
i still feel like typing..but my mind totally just went blank. oi. i should start doing my chores so i can get a lil sleep before work so im not a slacker for fran.
Where would i be without my baby the thought alone might break me and i dont wanna go crazy cuz every thug needs a lady
crazy
annoyed
exhausted
anxious