People I think should be in jail* as a chronic Zillow user:
- People who totally gut the interior of homes when there is no structural or safety reason to do so.
- People who paint over natural wood window casements.
- People who paint over any natural wood details, really.
- People who paint over the panes of transom windows.
- People who want to “modernize” the interior of historical homes instead of restoring it with historic integrity.
- Furthermore, anyone who remodeled and “modernized” a historic house from the 70s to early 2000s and now the interior looks extremely dated to the time it was remodeled while the exterior retains its historic charm.
- Anyone who has covered up a fireplace. I know maintenance can be a pain in the ass, I don’t care. Argue with the wall you have created.
- Anyone who has greyified or beigeified an interior.
- People who gutted a house (that would have been livable in its previous state) and then gave up on remodeling and relisted it on the market. Fuck you. Go to hell.
- People who painted the exterior of Victorian, Queen Anne, Craftsman style houses etc. bland and historically incorrect colors like plain white and grey.
- If you have ever put in a popcorn ceiling (where there was not a popcorn ceiling before), death penalty, actually.
*This is a hyperbolic turn of phrase, I disagree with the carceral punishment system, especially in the United States. I don’t actually believe in incarcerating people who poorly remodel and flip houses, even if they are contributing to the current housing crisis and destroying architectural and aesthetic value.
I will add to this list when I remember things that piss me off.