Eating Disorders Recovery Support Community

I've been in recovery for a year now. I guess I could consider myself 'recovered' but there are still those days here and there. It's sort of weird, because sometimes I look through old journal entries or something and I can't understand how I was ever in that sort of mind frame. But then there are still those days where I look in the mirror and want to cry. It's just weird I guess, but I do have to say that I still think that recovery is the best thing I ever did.

Hope everyone's doing well. :)

 

today I followed my meal plan
and hated every second
and wanted to die
and wanted to throw a fit and puke and do all the things that would make it fail.


and I didn't.

I followed it.



and I still hate myself.
but for some reason I know that it's okay because at least I'm doing the right thing.

I hope this keeps working. <3 x

After Natts post I felt like posting. :)

 It seems like when it comes to recovery, I change my mind about it ever day, but I'm still trying to stay on track with everything. It took me a good month or so, but now for the most part I'm eating my three meals a day, usually with a snack in there. I find the biggest problem is what I eat, I'll spend an hour trying to pick something out to eat and then end up eating something on my 'safe list' anyways. Unless I'm eating it while distracted, which is really the only times I actually eat, there are only a few foods I really will eat. And lately everything I eat makes my stomach hurt so bad that I don't even want to eat, so I'm considering visiting the doctor about that because it's starting to get annoying. :( 

 Therapy is going really well lately, we've gone from every week to every two weeks because things have been good. I find that it helps to have someone to vent to, and I've started to put less pressure on myself. And while for the most part I like that I'm getting better, there are lots of moments that make me think its a bad thing. When my shorts from last summer didn't fit, and when I went over the weight I swore I'd never go over I struggled a lot. and I almost had a breakdown, but I just got over it. I honestly can't say I'm happy with trying to recover, but I wasn't exactly happy with an ed either. 

JA recovery has been well, lacking any form of commitment, or any posts. Maybe because we are all put off by the fact that nobody else is posting, maybe because we just cant be bothered. Or maybe because recovery is not straight forwards, and so one day we want to be part of an amazing recovery community, and then the next day, well, we weigh ourselves and decide no, recovery is not for me, I can't do this, and so you know, I cant be part of a support community if I still dont realy really want to get better.

The thing is just because this is a recovery community, it does not mean that you cannot have downs as well as the ups. Sure come here and tell us when you are great, but if youa re struggling, if you are slipping back or even just considering it, post.

This community could be something beautiful. And I think we need to give it that chance.

I don't know why you added this community, and I don't know if you would if you stumbled across it now. Maybe when you joined you were wanting to get better, but now you are back to your old ways and recovery could not seem further away from reality. But what I do know is, you did join here so at some point a part of you was interested enough to click the add button.

So why don't you give us a quick post, let us know how you are now? The good + the bad.

Natts

I haven't bee on in here in a long, long time, & i feel very disappointed with myself cause recovery should be busier than any other board. Recovery is when the light at the end of the tunnel finallly comes & change is possible. Im pretty confident there are a lot of people in ED recovery out there, & so I want to help you. I want to get this board buzzing with life.

Well i'll post.
Trying to get over bulimia that i've had since i was 14, and other food issues that have been around since i was 7/8. (i'm 17 now).
I'm also trying to get over anxiety and depression that i've had on and off since i was 7/8, but more full time since the bulimia started.
i really want to keep giving hope to people i talk to with ed's, but i'd really like a recovery buddy because a lot of the people i talk to who have ed's trigger me something bad.
Although i feel far too fat to recover (BMI: 22 :/, but then it started at like 26 a few years ago).
I guess the weight's due to bulimia, calories stay absorbed.
I bought the book Raw Emotions by Angela Stokes last night from amazon :)
I recomened everyone looks it up, it looks really good.

hellabrea@hotmail.com msn/email.

xo

    Hey,
I have noticed it's a little too quiet around here so I want to try get this community more active.
I am going to talk to Mia ( the other MOD ) about an email for support.

If your new here please feel free to tell us a little about you.
About your ED
About you, the person without an ED
and about what you hope to gain from being here.
I am happy to give advice surrounding recovery, both in terms of the mental side, and the physical process of gaining weight if that is something you may need to do.

take care,
NaTTs xx

EDIT: email is ja_recoveryMOD@hotmail.co.uk