Interstellar Highway

and I dont want it
I want to ruin it

I want to be miserable
and hate life
I want to drown in my spoils
I want to color my world
hiding from whats really behind
I want you to hate me

But I cant live without someone

I cant do this
I dont want to stay here

I just what to destroy everything beautiful

because I dont deserve it
I just want to ruin it.

I dont think it ever existed.

The one who screws up
messes up
what you want most
I cant be right
I cant be human
I do the same thing over and over
when will I stop

I dont know who I am anymore

I thought I was sure
but I dont do those things
that I always seem to do

Why is the right way to act?
What am I supposed to feel
I dont know what to do with me anymore.

When is it over?
Its over when its over.

But I feel like he has suffered enough.
The "gods" are taking this too far.
He may have "betrayed" our love that surpassed time, lifetimes, universes, and dimensions.
But I cant blame him for it anymore.
He has suffered enough.
Let go of your grasp.

I cant watch him suffer anymore.
How can I?
Its not fair now.

Turn upside down?

This is not for you.

Was it ever?

Afraid he is dead.
Theres really no way to tell.
Did he really exist as who he said he was?
I miss him
I miss him
I dont know why
I hope he is not dead
I'm afraid
I'm scared
I loved him
But he threatened his life
in return he needed me to give him so much more of me
that I was able to give.

What does anyone know?

I know nothing.

Back and forth, Back and forth.
It seems my mind is never made up.

What is it I want?
What is it we ever want?