I need to be more social. I haven't called like anybody since I was back. Don't take it personally, I'm just lazy. I swear once I get this damn throat infection and flu cured I will be a social butterfly.
So I've been at Drew for almost a week now, but it feels like eternity... kind of in a good way thought. I feel like I've live here forever. Five day orientation blew very hard. The only good part was the cruise. I think the first or second night we went to a party in the basketball suite.. not a good idea because apparantly they like to rape girls so we'll definately stay away from now on. I love all the girls/guys that live near us. My classes seem okay so far. Three hour lab sucks though, but tomorrow I have one class at 11:50 am and then I'm done, which is amazing. I really like it here, but I miss Joe. Its good he's not here because otherwise I'd just be hanging out with him and not making friends, but I still miss him terribly. My french class is going to be hard because they placed me into the Junior level french and the teacher came in and just started speaking in super fast french and I was like... woah. I've been doing my hw and I've had to look up like every other word. Its terrible. I hope everything works out though because I would hate to have to transfer. Wish me luck!
fuck mood swings. these things are ridiculous word to the wise don't get the birth control shot. it fucks with you.
if I weren't having intense mood swings life would be okay. i've been working a lot and hanging out with joe and my new best friend jim. its been an uneventful summer so far.
High school is over. I don't know how I feel about that. I wish there were some things I had done differently. I wish that I had been more outgoing and I wish I hadn't dated Kevin for so long. I feel like I lost two years of my life being with him. Nothing I can do about it now. I'm finally remembering how to feel. I was so numb to everything and everyone. There was a huge wall between me and the world and I feel like its finally coming down and I'm letting people in again.
I'm in love. Its pretty much the most amazing feeling ever. I've never been with someone who could make me break out in a smile from a single text message. I mean we're pretty much the cutest people ever, so it works.
This weekend should be amazing because it is Nicole's 18th birthday <3 and Mr. and Mrs. David Egan will not be home.
do you know what's such bullshit? the fact that I try and alter my feelings for people on a constant basis. I spend so much time trying to either create or deny my feelings for people because I'm so afraid that my feelings won't match theirs. I do it with everyone: friends, family, boys. It's absolutely ridiculous. I'm absolutely ridiculous.
