sometimes when two people love each other very much, they don't do anything and nothing happens

*Entering kindergarten classroom* Tell me five hobbies everyone has that AREN’T consuming media. Exactly, no idea how to engage with the real world *sees blues clues playing* you know that’s all pre-recorded slop right? Steve can’t hear you. and dogs aren’t even blue. This is the death of media literacy…

Did you know? That the back is made up of terrible and evil muscles that are only waiting for their chance to betray you

The thing about professional wrestling that I find really and truly fascinating is that it takes place in a setting where

Most settings where magic is real are about magic. The wizards are the main characters or the antagonists. The presence of ghosts or mutants comes up within the first three sentences of any reasonable summary, or is a major plot twist that changes the entire story.

Meanwhile pro wrestling is a combat sport with scripted outcomes and surrounding storylines. "And also sometimes they do necromancy" is such an extraneous detail not worth mentioning. But also I cannot stress enough that sometimes they do necromancy.

You can go an entire show with zero wizard nonsense, but at any given point on any show in any promotion it wouldn't be shocking for a wizard (or demon or alien or vampire etc) to appear.

The wizards don't even win particularly often. Having actual magic powers that you use to cheat is actually somewhat less effective than "hitting someone with a blunt object while the referee is distracted" or "being large".

Funniest possible approach to magic.

a 500 word short story with the same plot as your novel that explores how quickly the problem could be solved by sonic the hedgehog

knuckles gamgee

sonic heritage post

I’ve never seen this one before and it just punched me in the fucking face.

Just like Knuckles did to Sonic

I really like that we keep him in our pocket

hit her gpt-spot by accident and she started saying we weren't just having sex, we were teaching a masterclass on pleasure

New bumper sticker 🕺

wait I have one more story. there's a group of anti-abortion protesters who often set up by the Ethiopian cafe I hang out in, and when I was waiting to cross one of them held up an aborted fetus sign and said "how does this make you feel?" and I said "hungry", and then I was so satisfied by my own cleverness that I missed the lights and stepped off the sidewalk into oncoming traffic

TICK PSA

Alright you guys, ‘tis the season again and I’ve already seen bullshit float about so here we go: what to do and what not to do when you happen to have a tick attached to yours truly.

WHAT NOT TO DO:

DON’T cover the tick in anything. Vaseline, nailpolish, whatever. Doesn’t matter. It’ll all suffocate the tick, making it panic vomit germs into your blood stream. That’s the opposite of what you want.

DON’T burn the tick. Same problem, plus the additional option of giving yourself a burn wound in the process. 

DON’T squeeze the body of the tick when you try to remove it. Again this empties the tick’s digestive system into your body. Bad. 

DON’T wait for the tick to detach itself. The longer it stays on you, the higher the chances it’ll transmit anything to you. Plus when ti detaches it may again vomit germs into you. 

WHAT TO ACTUALLY DO

STAY CALM. A tick hanging on you is not a reason to panick. You’re not going to keel over just like that, and if you’re unsure what to do, there are many resources on the internet on how to safely remove a tick, like this one from the CDC (aka the professionals)

USE APPROPRIATE TOOLS. These can be suitable tweezers (the pointy kind, not blunt tipped ones), tick removers (there are cheap ones out there, those you can buy at the vets are totally fine for use on humans, too!). Ideally you can remove the entire tick in one go, however if that doesn’t work and the mouth part breaks off in your skin, that’s not a terribly big deal and you can totally remove it separately after you got the body remove. Again, don’t panic.

KILL THE REMOVED TICK. But not by squeezing it. Flush it down the toilet, submerse it in alcohol in a container etc. Ideally if the tick has bitten you and not your dog, keep the tick around in a sealed container in case you start having symptoms and someone needs to identify the tick species. Also IF you start getting symptoms like the tell tale Lyme disease rash, HIT A DOCTOR RIGHT AWAY AND TELL THEM ABOUT YOUR TICK BITE. Do not wait this out, ticks can transmit a whole host of diseases beside Lyme, so be mindful of that, too! 

Some of those diseases you can actually get vaccinated again, such as tick born encephalitis. Check with the local authorities if you live in a risk area, and if so, get the shots to protect yourself. 

Excellent post! I would like to add that ticks hide in tall grass and bushes mostly. They do not drop down from trees or jump to other people’s heads etc. Ticks aren’t designed to jump, they latch on somewhere on your leg and then crawl upwards in most cases. 

So be careful with bare legs and tall grass!

it is a parents responsibility to play good music during their child’s formative years. make sure the nostalgia playlist is a banger

affirmations when opening a stuck jar:

this is so late renaissance early mannerism. the controversial male nudity? the lighting and value on the figure of emphasis?? him bathed in light and placed ABOVE while the police are clad in dark and BELOW?? Uh HES HITTING THE CONTRAPPOSTO??

On one hand: this imagery touches on themes of freedom vs oppression and how in shedding the various layers of shame placed upon us by the regime we can transcend to a higher place above the forces that seek to hold us to unjust societal standards.

On the other hand: cheeks out at the Krispy Kreme.

doc, my advice fetish is taking over my life, i just dont know what to do.......... (lecherous look appears in my eye)