Reaching out to embrace the random

New developments on the female front and I'm not sure how to move forward.

There's a girl that I've known since sophomore year here. Her name is Miranda and she, along with 11 other people (myself included) drove down to Florida for Spring Break. She and I got to know each other a lot better while we were down there. I spent time with her one-on-one on the beach several nights and our waxing connection was apparently to literally everyone present and even some that weren't present. The other night, while on the phone with my mom and sister (friggin' speaker phone), they asked me who Miranda was, noticing that we were in a lot of photos together.

My answer was simple "she's... a friend...". Where we'd go from there was unclear. I really couldn't keep my mind off of her since we got back here. It's hard to ignore a girl who reads your Scott Pilgrim and searches for more Porcupine Tree music to listen to online (I know, I know, but still...). There was this hazy period where nothing about each others' feelings were really out there, but that changed Thursday night.

Thursdays are "Cactus nights" here at Purdue. The Neon Cactus is a bar just off-campus with a great big dance floor and the Piano Man Bruce Barker. The dancing and drink specials bring all of the young people in the area out on Thursday nights, and that's just what we did. While we were there, we basically told each other that we have feelings for each other, and since she lives way the fuck far away from the bars, she spent the night at my place - ahem - with me in my bed. Nothing happened, but she was there and that's kind of a big deal in itself. At this point, you'd be thinking "What's the problem? Go for it!". Unfortunately, it's not that simple.

She was in my biology class the spring of sophomore year. She's friends with all of my friends because she and one of my good friends, Vince, had a short thing that year as well. She was also in the color guard (the Golden Silks as they're called here) with the marching band here. Altos and silks seem to have a lot of relationships for some reason. Also, I was with Meaghan so I didn't see her that way, anyway. We still had class together and I got to know her pretty well. I got to know how freaking conservative she is.

If you know me at all (which you all do), you know that I am very liberal and pay no attention to religion whatsoever. She's the opposite. She's in a church choir and has been on mission trips and I'm pretty sure that differing spiritual views is the reason why she and Vince didn't work out.

What do I do? My friends here would probably say that I'm less tolerant of religion or conservative views than Vince is, but I can't control my feelings for another person. It just doesn't work like that.

I think I have decided I want to "get back out" as it were. Meaghan moved on fairly quickly and that's fine. Everyone is different. She has attachment issues so I shouldn't be surprised that she did what she did.

As for me, it has come to my attention that I'm not good at being single. I don't have the confidence to just walk up to a girl at a bar and talk to her. I can't spread myself thin with lots of girls. I'd rather pack everything I've got on one. Plus I don't like the idea of talking to girls with one thing in mind. Friendship is an option for me and I'm okay with that.

Maybe I just haven't experimented enough. Whenever I go out, I just stick with the people I know. I don't tend to mingle. Either way, I'm no longer content and I'm not sure on how to move forward. If you recall, the only reason Meaghan and I got to know each other was because of my roommate at the time. No one is going to say "you two. Talk, get to know each other" now. None of my friends are like that.

There are girls in mind, but I'm stuck trying to figure out how to ask them out. I work with one and it's not really appropriate to do such things while working. The other I never see in person so the only way I can get a hold of her is on Facebook. It's not really appropriate to ask someone out on Facebook. Part of me wants to suck it up, part of me thinks it's stupid to ask someone out on facebook, and another part of me doesn't agree with "bandcest" (she's in the color guard and plays flute in concert band).

All if me is thinking that it couldn't hurt to just go for it, though. It would just be a simple date or whatever. That's what they are for, right? Like I said, I'm bad at being single.

Well, I'm tired and those are just things I needed to get out.

Feedbacks would be appreciated.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Yeah, that's right, I'm writing this post on my iPhone. I'm in bed, actually and decided what better place to write up a post than my bed when my mind is on overdrive? So, I searched the app store, downloaded the LJ app and here I am.

So not a whole lot has happened since my last post. KJ finally went home to California :( Meaghan is at home until tomorrow and her roommate is in Europe for another week with the orchestra, so I'm all alone. I've taken advantage of this by blasting music and played my guitar really loudly. Usual stuff.

As for work, I've worked a grand total of four times. One of these times was almost an eight hour shift because we couldn't close until an hour after we usually do. I didn't get out of that place until 1:45 AM. Awesome.... Otherwise, work hasn't been that bad. I have actually been kind of enjoying it because the people that work in the kitchen are ridiculous. Between yelling "WON'T YOU FLYYYYYY HIIIIIIIIIGHHH FREEEEEEEE BIIIIIIIIIIIRD YEAH" and severe incessant homoerotic comments towards each other, these long shifts become pretty interesting. Customers can't see or hear you, so anything goes. One of the guys is a big Dream Theater fan and I'm kind of surprised by how much I remember about that band despite having not listened to them for a long-ass time.

So other than work, I've been dicking around. That girl I mentioned in a previous post, Amanda, is in India for another two weeks or so, so there won't be much talking to her until she gets back.

Wow, looking back at this post, I can't help but notice that it is incredibly boring. I'm sorry, readers.

Anyway, that's all I have for now.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

So, interestingly enough, Meaghan has become much nicer to me in the past few days. She was actually apologizing for little mistakes she was making at the moment and wasn't criticizing everything I was doing. A major step forward, if you ask me. I'm still bothered by the fact that she has a new boyfriend (Facebook official) just about three months after we broke up and just below months after she had a melt down on the phone with me.

As a side note, why am I listening to my music at a conservative level? *crank*

I'm sure it's natural for someone to dive into another relationship after going through a long relationship ending, especially when the other party is doing just that. In any case, it's something I can't help but think about. With Kirsten pretty much being out of the question at this point, I don't think it would be that bad of an idea to set my sights elsewhere.

And, for the most part, I've done just that. There's a girl here by the name of Amanda, she's one of KJ's friends (KJ spent 3 years at a community college in CA and now 3 years here. She's graduating this weekend D:) and was introduced to me by KJ. Anyway, Amanda is really really cool. Excellent personality. Pretty outgoing. She's on the color guard here, so she's dorky enough to be someone I can get along with.

Best of all, she's here over the summer. I'm pretty sure she has an internship nearby. So she might be the only single girl I know of that's here and it just so happens that she's pretty cute and is pretty cool.

In other words, I started work last night. NBD. Just making money. It wasn't that bad because it was the Monday night after Mother's Day, so it was pretty slow at times. Also, with graduation being this weekend, this week might get busy, but then traffic will just drop off afterwards. This will give me the chance to train at other areas of the kitchen, therefore requiring the kitchen manager to pay me more money. I cannot argue with that. I'm spending most of my time making salads, macaroni and cheese, spooning out sauces and salsa, really simple shit, but I'm okay with that right now. The worst part about this job is watching tons of food go out and not getting to have any of it. :( Oh well. That's life. I can't really complain because I applied, got an interview a week later, and was hired on the spot. 

Well, I've had this up for just about an hour and I can't think of anything to write. So... peace out, negros.

In regards to last night's post... I may have exaggerated that a bit. She's not a total bitch to me all the time. Just... all the stuff that I mentioned still happens. Yes, most, if not all, is unacceptable, but it's not as bad as I made it sound. I just needed to vent and only Alex has actually heard everything I had to say last night.

Anyway, I'm back. Basically, I'm done with finals, people are leaving, and I need to keep my mind on something or I'll go crazy. I suppose tomorrow I can start doing things I've been putting off for a week... like go grocery shopping or clean my room (or the rest of the apartment for that matter).

As for tonight, those of you who have been keeping up with my life on Facebook, you'll know that I've gotten back into Graffiti. We all know that drawing good Graffiti is extremely time consuming, so I haven't been able to for quite some time. I've basically killed my afternoon with that. I'm keeping my focus hidden until I actually post it onto some lucky Facebook member's wall for most, but you, dear friends from middle school, get a sneak peak of what I have accomplished so far.

Behold, How To Train Your Dragon fans, it's Toothless!
dl.dropbox.com/u/111275/Photos/too…

For those of you who are curious, this is right before Hiccup feeds Toothless the first fish.

I'm pretty satisfied with how his body looks right now, so I have to do the background and then I'll be able to post it. I don't know when it'll be finished as it is definitely my most intense Graffiti yet. If you guys have any criticisms, feel free to give 'em to me. I'm not sure who I'm going to send this to on Facebook, however, I will most likely be using this to impress someone...

I can't wait until it's finished and I can replay the thing.

This should be able to keep me occupied for the next couple of days including my time cleaning and learning how to actually cook. This year has been loaded with sandwiches, ramen, and heating up soup, with the occasional cooked meal. I've had a few cooking success stories and a few absolute blunders. I might invest in some more cook books so that I can add some variety to my life. Eating the same thing day in and day out gets pretty old.

Well, that's it for now. I wouldn't get used to daily posts from me. I don't have much going on outside of working until classes start.

Here's the promised post.

Basically, this past week has been the week from hell. Calc II is the hardest class I have ever taken without a doubt. Even harder than my IronCAD class that I took last semester. I got totally wrecked by the exam that I took Tuesday night, so now's a good time to really get myself together. There's no reason why I can't turn my demoralized self around and destroy the next exam. I've heard absolutely horrible things about Physics, but not much about Calc II, surprisingly. Physics is a pushover compared to Calc II...

Well enough about that. It's the weekend now, and last night there was a game against Notre Dame. It was the fifth or sixth night game in that stadium since it was built way back in the 1920's. It was a rough game, but it was awesome. The stadium was electrified. Everyone hates Notre Dame with a fiery passion. I thought the stadium was going to collapse when the team scored the touchdown to bring the score to 21-17 Purdue with a few minutes left in the game. All of the football experts said that Purdue wasn't going to be able to do much this season. New head coach, new starting quarterback, loss of a few good receivers. Last night was just another reason why Notre Dame has the most overrated football program in the country.

They did end up scoring a touchdown with less than a minute left. One down away from winning. Shame, but still it's pretty embarrassing for them. They nearly lost to Purdue. They'll likely have a winning season, but it's because their schedule is ridiculously easy.

So Purdue is now 1-3. Losing by 2 against Oregon, 7 to Northern Illinois (sad day...), and 3 against Notre Dame. Can we beat Northwestern, please?

Okay, I know I haven't posted in a while and it kind of sucks that all I'm posting right now is an awesome video of the marching band (I know, I know). But really, this is a KICKASS video that some random dude made.

Band Practice from Will Cabral on Vimeo.

I promise I'll make a real post sometime this weekend.

So... I actually have some time on my hands.

I flew out of Boston on Sunday, the first day Southwest flew out of Boston. They were having a big celebration and everything. They had balloons, people walking around giving out free stuff, free food, etc. It was a lot of fun...

except... we were about to land in Chicago (ou final destination) and the pilot was like "okay, they're delaying our landing for a bit until this rain storm passes. We'll just fly around for a few minutes until they let us land" So we did, and as we were about to land the second time, the pilot came on and said "Okay, so they shutdown the landing strip again, but this time it'll be a while before they'll open it up again. We're going to Indianapolis for a bit until the storm REALLY passes.

From there it was a question of whether they'd let us off the plane, with our luggage, so that we could just drive to Purdue from there. The original plan was to land in Chicago, have dinner at Meaghan's, then drive to Purdue the same night from there.

They would have let us off the plane, but we'd have to drive to Chicago to get it, which would add even more time to our trip. So, we waited the extra hour and a half before even flying back to Chicago. We were supposed to land in Chicago at around 1:30 central and we didn't until around... 5:00 central... Then we had to get our luggage.

I don't know how long we waited for my last bag, fortunately it was the least important of the four. Who knows what happened to that bag, but long story short, I put in a missing luggage report and got the bag back on Wednesday.

So I moved in on Monday and that night we (friends from school) went to Hot Box from dinner. It started POURING like FUCK out when we started leaving and we were just like "what the hell, let's just walk back!" We walked about 15 minutes in the pouring rain. I was completely drenched all the way through.... and my brand new phone was in my pocket. God fucking damnit.

So, at this point, I was missing a bag, I had to wait for hours due to storms, and now my brand new phone that I spent 100 dollars on wasn't working. The touch screen just... completely quit. Luckily, phones are robust enough where if you let them dry, they'll solve their own problems. That's exactly what I did, and by Tuesday night, my phone was back to full working condition.\

So.... this week was band camp. I certainly wasn't this sore last year... It was much harder this year for one reason or another. The drumline added two new cadances, which means my favorite cadance of their series will hardly ever be played :( Although, the first of the new cadances has one of the most bizarre things you'll ever see a marching band do. At one part in the cadance, as a tribute to Up and the squirrel that was killed while trying to run through the band last year, suddenly the drumline stops, everyone stops, looks to the left and shouts "SQUIRREL!" then a few counts later we say "I love you" and keep marching.

Oh yeah, I made the band again. None of the altos got cut this year, which is great, because all of the freshmen altos are awesome.

Now classes start tomorrow and I'll have more shit to talk about later.

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Oh and for those people who think I was depressed or something for my last post. I wasn't. I'm perfectly fine. It just feels like my life is in a rut and nothing new is really happening.

I'll probably post more often now because I've broken that static friction that was my lack of posting. We all know that sliding friction isn't as strong as static friction!

Oh yeah, and about that canoe trip... we decided not to go. Looking at the forecast, it was going to be 60 degrees and rainy all weekend. Shitty canoeing weather.

Sometimes, I feel bad that Kelly is the only one who regularly updates her Live Journal, but whenever I start something or think of something to write about, I get the feeling that no one really cares about how my life is going. I'm not seeking for attention or sympathy. It's not meant to come out in an emo tone. I'm just saying this because it's always the same thing.

"Oh, he's working... oh, he visited Meaghan... oh, Meaghan visited him... oh, he can't wait to go back to school..."

I've been told that there are five things I always talk about. Purdue, Band, Meaghan, Segway, and myself. That statement comes, mostly, from my Live Journal. So, clearly, I do talk about the same things. It just seems like my life isn't changing much at the moment and the important people already know what's going on in my life.

That quoted statement pretty much sums up how my summer has been. Throw in a bit of gaming here and there, I've recently been gamerscore whoring Civilization Revolutions, and that's basically it.

We didn't really do much when I visited Meaghan. Not enough to keep a post about it interesting....

"Oh, they went to a graduation party... oh, they watched a movie... oh, they went to another graduation party..."

The only thing that's worth telling on that trip was about how Meaghan lost her car keys in the very thin woods between a park and an old friary. Oh, but then I found them.... then I found five dollars.

I do have some exciting things going on from time to time, but I don't know if people will actually read my in depth reiteration of the canoe trip I'm going on this weekend.

"Oh, they woke up... oh, they started canoeing... oh, they went to sleep..."

Or about how the marching band is performing a Michael Jackson tribute show, including Thriller, for the first half time show.

"Oh, he's talking about the marching band again.... wait! I see what he's doing here!"

Let's see if anyone caught on. haha