infernallysly

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Summary: Multilingual, cross-continental Zebraswan shenanigans, in which Johnny's failtastic French skills get him into deep merde. Mostly comedy/fluff, with a smidge of angst in the middle. An angst sandwich, if you will.

Characters/Pairings: Johnny Weir/Stéphane Lambiel, Brian Joubert, Tomáš Verner, small Belgian children
Word Count: ~14,000
Warnings: An awful lot of sex references and some very non-graphic actual sex; strong language; bad jokes; gratuitous and possibly inaccurate European languages (various). Also, I had to create a "fluff" tag just for this fic. You have been warned.
Disclaimer: This didn't happen. This won't ever happen. Which is tragic, really.

Author's note: This is a repost, but it's pretty much the same as the original except with fewer mistakes. I've also smushed the shorter parts together to make decent length chapters - scroll down to the bottom of each chapter for translations of the French, German etc. Merci à tomboy_typist for help checking some of the French. I love you like Johnny loves sequins, except more.

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Only right now, this very minute, have I realised that the Disney logo could be seen to have a small d OR (get this) a capital D.

My mind, it is blown.

...I just thought you'd all like to know.

Thank goodness there are so many episodes of "Whose Line?" in the world. Stephen Fry's non-rapping is legend...

wait for it

...

wait for it

...

...dary, and I think I may have fallen a little bit in love with John Sessions (in a platonic fashion...).

...if anyone wishes to comment with something cheering it would not go amiss...

If you're wondering what's wrong with me I have a hideous cold and also a terrible affliction of which the main symptom is overuse of ellipses...

Summary: I was not entirely satisfied with Steerpike’s character development in various places, so this would be my canon-spanning attempt to resolve that.

Characters/Pairings: Steerpike mostly, also Prunesquallor, Fuchsia, Titus; gen but for a hint of Steerpike/Fuchsia.
Word Count: ~3,000
Disclaimer: Alas, not mine.
Warnings: Nope
A/N: This is book canon but probably works fine with the miniseries if you’re thus inclined. I have tried to emulate Peake’s style, for better or worse - verdicts on this decision welcome.

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Oh look, me again.

I watched the first episode of Glee and it was neither brilliant nor particularly terrible, but I'm glad it exists because more than anything I want Charlie Brooker* to review it:

"The show takes place in Cliche High, a nightmarish Orwellian vision in which the popular kids are blackmailed by a supposedly inspirational teacher using planted evidence into taking part in warbled renditions of frankly overplayed musical hits, along with every gurning high school stereotype imaginable - there's the sassy black one, the gay one, the nervous Asian girl and that one whose nose is hatching a plot to take over her face, played here by the poor man's... actress with the voice of a castrated Snow White. And the worst part is, the brain-dead blackmailed jock ends up enjoying it, the little sod!"

*If you don't know who Charlie Brooker is then shame on you get thee to YouTube, he's brilliant. Or here he is on My Super-Sweet Sixteen (mild profanity warning):

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I thought I didn't have any resolutions, but I've come up with one, yay! I'm going to finish all these books I've started.


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I suppose I should read the ones people have lent me first, but I doubt I will.

I just watched a whole interview with Alexander Skarsgård in Swedish with no subtitles.

He is so charming even when I can hardly understand what he's saying.

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