I've just noticed that when someone thinks highly of me, I tend to be a better person in my dealings with them - almost to 'live up' to their beliefs about me, you know?
For example - there is a girl who I've met a few times, catch up with every now and again, and she often makes comments like "wow you're so thoughtful!" or thanks me for things... It's as if she sees me the way i wish i really was! And I've noticed that when I talk to her, I AM thoughtful and kind and all those things i want to be in all my relationships. It's as if by believing the best about me, she brings out the best in me.
Does anyone else notice this in their own relationships?
It probably happens the other way, too. I mean, we live up to our designated roles all the time. Why couldn't we play the roles we want to play - why couldn't we be the people we were created to be, right now, instead of waiting for those qualities to be developed in us?
Maybe by giving each other the benefit of the doubt we can bring out the best in each other.
I have a gig today!! A local open mic night (Well, open mic afternoon). So i'm a bit nervous. hopefully i'll get past the nerves and it'll be fun!!
I was reading Amy Studt's blog a few days ago and found it very encouraging.... Shes a great singer and fantastic writer... but she wrote that she's never really enjoyed performing until reeeaally recently (she's been a musician for like, 6 years or something), and always considered herself a writer not a performer - but that that's changing, and she can now see that she was meant to perform.
I found that pretty... inspiring, i guess. Cos I'm a writer, not a performer, and I'm certainly not what you'd call comfortable on the stage, or even just being the centre of attention - but I do love to write, and i want the world to hear what I have to say.
I ran into Scott at the station today. it didnt mess me up as much as it would've in the past... partly because things are going so good with Chris maybe, and partly because I've changed so much in the last year and iv really gotten over a lot of my hang-ups. but still. normally seeing Scott brings back all my old insecurities. it did today, a little... just not like usual, and i didnt make a mess of every sentence i tried to say either!!!
altho. i am dressed in my dags today. which is just typical, because my hair's been doing nice things lately, and today i was like "grr im a dag today". so OF COURSE it was today. pity, really, cos id've liked to look hot AND not get messed up by him. THAT wouldve been good!
oh well, it's not really that big a deal. he just messes me up a little bit, even still, because it was this morning and for some unknown reason im still thinking about it.
wow my typing has gotten really fast. haha. it's like lightning!! im impressed with me!!
im looking for a job at the minute. im poor and unemployed and it's gone on long enough, lol. anyone looking for someone who has temperamental hair and can type really fast!?!?
Ooh, an Amy Studt song just came on my iPod. cooL! i love her, she's so talented... and she's making a comeback this year, woop!!!
well, i guess i should go and do some work. i forgot how much i enjoy blogging. ill have to blog more often again :) updating cyberspace on all my trivial news and random thoughts!! it's a bit of an odd thing to have the urge to do, really. but whatever :D
On the plus side, today Damion lent me the music software he promised, so now I can record songs.
All in all, still a crap day, but the software brightened it up a little.
I don't know where Chris and I go from here. It's over something so silly but I'm not sure if he can get past it. I just wish I knew. I mean, just put me out of my misery, know what i mean?...
She's pissed cos it's due in TWO DAYS and she hasnt contributed anything yet. (but indigo, shouldnt that make YOU mad? yes, thats what i thought too. wait for it) So apparently we haven't 'given her a chance to contribute'. Altho we did give her a section to do, we all did our sections and have been eagerly awaiting her contribution all week. But whatever. lol i cant even explain how i know, but shes so annoyed. u know when u can just tell?
The most annoying (AND most silly) thing is that she was on msn and we were talking and I wanted her to say something, start a fight, cos i was ready for it. That makes me just as bad doesnt it? even though i feel justified. it's still not right for me to be ready for a fight.
just looking at past entries, it's been a while!! and i forgot to update... me and chris got back together!!! about three months ago. and things are going great!
indescribable
frustrated