You dance as if you're hours away from death
And you smile a smile to take away my breath.
Journal created:
on 29 July 2001 (#279649)
Updated:
on 10 April 2012
Name:
implicate
Website:
 I am Jen -- a 30-year-old fat girl living in Los Angeles. I probably read more than you do and I also like doing things with my hands, like knitting, writing, and baking. I love cat paws and mexican cemeteries immensely. I used to run the now defunct MAD People Distro for about seven years. Now I sporadically write She's Not a Morning Person zine. I'm a firm believer in body-positivity, fighting oppression with knowledge, the brilliance of britpop, and the existence of Saturn.     I am completely in love with my cats. Profile artwork: Naomi Nowak Profile layout:  profilelayoutsJournal layout:  grrliz | thefulcrumskinned knees % facebook % tumblr % flickr % % wishlist - amazon % Ashes - catster % Isis - catster % I opened myself to you only to be skinned alive. The more vulnerable I became, the faster and more deft your knife. Knowing what was happening, still I stayed and let you carve more. That's how much I loved you. That's how much. Rabih Alameddine - I, the Divine Sometimes Philip thought of Mildred. He avoided deliberately the streets in which there was a chance of seeing her; but occasionally some feeling, perhaps curiosity, perhaps something deeper which he would not acknowledge, made him wander about Piccadilly and Regent Street during the hours when she might be expected to be there. He did not know then whether he wished to see her or dreaded it. Once he saw a back which reminded him of hers, and for a moment he thought it was she; it gave him a curious sensation: it was a strange sharp pain in his heart, there was fear in it and a sickening dismay; and when he hurried on and found that he was mistaken he did not know whether it was relief that he experienced or disappointment. W. Somerset Maugham - Of Human Bondage Quite suddenly he moved over beside her. He took hold of her and held her tightly, his head over her shoulder, eyes shut, talking into her ear with a quiet, whispering fervency. "You know, we must stay together. There's only us, really, no matter what happens, no matter what trouble we have. I do love you so much, you know that. Forgive me if I'm difficult. We've got to make it go." She stared over his shoulder at the blank wall and the wall was like her life in this moment, a wide expanse of nothingness with hardly a bump, a contour, or a feeling to it. She didn't know what to say or do. Another time, she would have melted. But there was such a thing as firing metal too often, bringing it to a glow, shaping it. At last the metal refuses to glow or shape; it is nothing but a weight. She was a weight now, moving mechanically in his arms, hearing but not hearing, understanding but not understanding, replying but not replying. "Yes, we'll stay together." She felt her lips move. "We love each other."The lips said what they must say, while her mind was in her eyes and her eyes bored deep into the vacuum of the wall. "Yes." Holding but not holding him."Yes." Ray Bradbury - Interval in Sunlight |
abortion rights, alfred hitchcock, androgyny, andy warhol, anthony perkins, aversion to phones, being biracial, bjork, blur, books, boys&girls, brit pop, cat paws, catholic iconography, cats, creative reuse, diy, eating disorders, fat-positivity, fighting oppression, gay porn, gay sex, genderbending, girls with girlfriends, gore porn, gray cats, grunge, harold and maude, hellraiser, horror, horror films, horror pornography, intelligence, john frusciante, john lennon, kawaii, kittens, knitting, los angeles, louis cannizzaro, louis n. cannizzaro, making out, mexican cemeteries, my kittens, oasis, orgasms, packratting, patsy cline, paul mccartney, perzines, photobooths, postcards, prematurely balding boys, psycho (1960), public transportation, queer brit lit, reading, sewing, sewing up a storm, sex, sex-positivity, sharing books, sleep, sleeping beauty, sleeping in libraries, snail mail, splatterporn, sweaters with holes, the beatles, the exorcist, vintage clothing, writing, writing letters, zines