NASA has discovered about a dozen "earth-like" planets that may contain life as we know it, one in particular called gliese 581 c. It is still, however, unknown if this planet supports life or not, but they are pretty certain that it does contain water, mountains and elements to create life. They say temperatures may vary from 32 F to 102 F. They predict it is seven times to ten times the size of our planet. We have discovered over 200 planets and only about a dozen of them may contain life. I am not saying all this is true, but it IS pretty exhilarating. I mean, they know this planet is in a habitable zone because it is close to it's star. I may have read the other earth like planets are actually near it, but I am probably wrong. I am not a scientist, but I am a firm believer of the possibility of other LIFE out there. For many, many, many years people have sighted ufo's and nasa has even seen some pretty interesting things out there in space. It would just be amazing if they had the technology to get here and actually study our environment, world, and us as people. I must say if that is the case, then I am pretty embarrassed about what they've seen and what people in this world have done. It will also be very interesting to see how religion will play roll in this new discovery, if it does, however, contain life or intelligent life. If UFO's are real, then I would have to say they come from out there somewhere. I can't help but to imagine all the possibilities of advanced medicines and technology it could hold. I mean, 7 times the mass of our earth? That means more life, more thought, more work, and more NEEDS. I just hope if there is intelligent life on this planet, that they come in peace, and show us what peace really is. Perhaps even help us cure diseases, slow down age, or teach us more efficient ways for us to use our natural resources. It would be a great thing if 2 or more worlds of higher intelligence could all come together and help. Could this be the end for us to come, or a new beginning? I don't know, but what I do know is that everything science fiction will become nonfiction some day. I hope I live to see it. I can only think and dream, for thinking is man's only basic virtue.
I must say that when you go out and experience worlds that are not yours and embrace the gifts that have come down upon you, is a great feeling. That first sentence seemed very hard to write. I went out tonight had a couple beers and realized a lot of things about myself and a little bit more about the social environment that I am in. It's really hard to explain. I haven't updated my "personal" journal for a while now. I am not ashamed of my stupid past regrets. Regret is no more. The time to act is now and there's no way you can shape a future without the present actions you are taking.
The question is, when will I find someone? Where can I go, and with who? I have definitely found love, but it's gone forever, and that's that. I have felt the sudden urge to just work endlessly at everything I am passionate about. Definitely got to work a lot on music tomorrow. I have been falling soooo behind due to schooling, writing other songs and working them out.... so much work to be done with it, ulgh... need the money though. Got to get more money for books, fuck the drugs for now. I hate the fact money has to be used for every god fucikgjiaeroj owij towijtwoiejt waoj aowij oawj ywaoj yw j y ewh aw h ya weh awh why can't i be free? i'm buzzed off three beers from earlier. Somehow I paid for three peoples water and lost all my money. I only have $2 left man, shit. I need to pay closer attention to that shit from now on. I feel like my personality has totally changed from the above paragraph, agreed?
However, except for that last sentence did I only come to conscious. Mkay, time to Go sit in the Corner High and play my beautiful, beautiful glorious fender guitar. My oh my, I really do like it.
Life's been strange, as it always is. I haven't updated this in a long time, so I thought I'd do so on such a cold tiring morning. I have been going to school and studying three days a week. I plan on getting a full time job now and getting my own apartment, but who to move in with? I don't think I could live with anyone, really, because the last person I lived with, well, it just didn't go too well.
Anyways onto the bigger thing on my mind as of late. Marisa, my first love, has been inviting me over more often then I'd expect. She has her own apartment now and grew up to be a beautiful fine lovely lady. I was shocked at how much she has grown, not only physically, but her maturity and mental status has changed, but who's hasn't since they were a teen? Anyways, we hung out for the second time since her birthday in October, it is now January. She invited me over so we could hang out and smoke. I drove there... didn't take much gas nor time to get there and find it with the glorious GPS. Anyways, when I first got there she was waiting for me in the most perfect spot (that I thought I was dreaming). We talked and looked at old photographs and memories of each other, we laughed a lot, had a great time for what it seemed to be great anyways. I am only human so I asked her if I could kiss her, she didn't reject it, but she merely told me that I could later, well, later came and I told her I was going to, but I don't think she liked me telling her, but I think she just wanted me to do it, but even from all the hints, all the talk, she told me she thought we should just remain friends for now, which I agree with completely, I don't want anyone to get "burned." Well, when we got done smoking and watching a movie I was about to leave... I really didn't want to... I just wanted to stay there and sleep with her haha. Anyways, we hugged and I felt this feeling... so unexplainable it's pointless to try to. I can only put it as plain as this, I love her. I still love her to death and when I held her at those last moments and kissed her lips I felt it. Time stopped. I felt what I felt with her six years ago or so. Now, it is hard to say these things without sounding like a teenager that is infatuated with a girl, but it was a feeling I haven't felt in so long. When we hugged our souls and hearts collided, and I felt sad I was leaving (she sounded sad too) and I kissed her lips (not french, although I should have damn it) but just a normal kiss on the lips. It felt so weird to be doing that because we kissed exactly how we did back in the old days. So much has changed and so much stays the same. I can only hope she loves me too. I'm done tlking, too much.
Life is going very well for me. I know everything I want to do at this point. It is going to be a breaking journey, a puzzle, a discovery! A MYTH!! No one is ever going to read this. I am pretty glad about that.
Today I am not doing much. Probably going to go enroll into school tomorrow, but not today. I have had the worse case of insomnia lately that I've ever experienced. When I mean insomnia, I mean it. I just cannot sleep. Well, I can sleep, but it's usually after long, long hours. More than likely due to my excessive caffeine drinking and nicotine smoking. I've been having a lot of pain in my back, teeth, throat, neck, chest, arms, and my legs have also been feeling debilitated. The past few days I've been working on vocals for a new song I wrote entirely by myself. I am not used to writing and progressing with songs, but I have been learning. That's what music's about, right? Learning new things... trying new things... experiencing. If everyone would just relax and play music the world could be at peace. I don't need no full time job. I don't need no mumbo jumbo college degree in something that makes "Big Money." Life isn't about just schooling or making a lot of money. It's about you and how you live your life. You live the way you want to. My sister's 24 & still lives at home. I'm 21 and still live at home, but hell, I have learned from her not to be like that. I refuse to just waste my life away as she is doing now. Life is happening right now, this very moment. It's not like I will lose anything either way, but as long as I am happy, then I will not complain, but... who just.. lives like that? Who can bare it? I don't give a shit what kind of mental problems you have, it's still nonsense to live your life in a night gown taping soap opera's with the latest dvd recording technology. She records them so that her "daughter" kylie (the baby she's goign to have with the inmate in prison) can watch them all so that she understands this never ending story. Well, let me say something here. Life ends. T.v. show's will end also and it is pointless to record a t.v. show that has the same exact bull shit every day. I've come to believe that she does this so she feels more content with her life because she doesn't have one. It's sad. I want to help her, but you cannot help someone who doesn't want to be helped.
I must say that life is excelling rather quickly. Sometimes I used to lay around & waste my life away then one day I woke up and realized that life is precious and not a minute should be wasted. That said, I have much to accomplish in the years to come. It will not be as easy as said, but it will happen. I will probably not update this in another year.. by the way, just in case there are some fucked up people reading this I donn't have a jetta trek I have a Honda Civic.
can't wait to get a job this week. now i can get that ninety seven jetta trek. i found a few other cars that were good and much cheaper, but jettas seem to be pretty promising vehicles. i jsut want something ggood on gas because gas is pretty pricey now. god damn government! FUCK EM!
i just saw a snake in my backyard. how terrifying. no jobs have called me back that i've applied for. can't get my car till i have a job 'cuz then i can't make payments on it. mother told me that she would pay my first months for the apartment stefan got, but i am not so sure i want an apartment. i've been thinking of accepting the money she gets me, saving a paycheck, then buy a camper. it would only cost sixty dollars a month to rent it on a campground... at least that's what ed told me. it may be for the best 'cuz i wouldn't have to worry about my savings account, or going in the hole. it's plenty of space for one person to live in. plenty indeed. the only thing extra that i would have to pay for is gas, food, car payments, and internet bill. i don't need to live in some fancy apartment, or castle. it's a fair rent for a fair place to stay. all i need is a comfortable place to sleep. a camper would only cost about 500 dollars, and after that you just own it. i'd rather pay for something and own it, rather than pay for something that will never actually be mine.
i wonder if stefan or mother will be mad about my sudden change of mind. i don't really care though because i will do what's best for me. i want to help stefan out paying the bills and all that jazz, but i just want to have a private place to stay. there are campgrounds everywhere. there is one in alachua i went to once i think. the car i want is a gas hog so i may be paying more on gas, but if i find something cooler looking that gets better on gas, then i'll just get that, but right now i've got my eyes on an 87 volvo. it's pretty nice looking, AND it has a sunroof. nothing could be better. i'm sick of talking.
Do not ever trust a black guy with the name Edward to come pick you up to go pick up job apps, especially after you've already given him ten dolalrs in gas. he will just go off, sell drugs, get too stoned, and forget about you. not to mention the methadone he's doing. eh.. yeah.
such lack of intelligence out there. makes me sick. i'm feeling a bit hateful today. happy at the same time. hate and happy are two different things, but somehow it's mixing well. don't know what i'm saying. fuck this boring shit 4tyqa357 q53 w56 urxfbsgaektjegjrotjweat AW TAEOJ AAHT IOAWJ TOIJAWR TIOJAW TIOJAWO TYJAWOIJ TYAWOI JTYAWOI YJAWEIO YJAEIO YJA%EIO YJAOI YJAWOI YJAIOYJ A$IO YJAOIJ YAIO YJAWOIJ YAWIOJ YAWIO YJAWIO that was weir...du...
optimistic