ya can call me anythin ya want

Man, I sure fucked shit up. Fuck. Well, looks like the only friends I got now are an imaginary chick and some dude that sits next to me in class. Ain't got no Tohma, and ain't got no K.

Mebe I should just fuckin kill myself. I'm nothin anyway. Ain't like no one's gonna fuckin notice.

Shit's all fucked up 'round here. Ain't never rains, but it fuckin pours.

I got Anna stayin here... ain't a big deal, love havin her, really... but it's the fuckin way she's here... fuck. Johan came over, and was bein all calm, and... then K comes over ta say hi, and fuckin fight breaks out... Johan grabs a knife, and the fuckin knife goes into MY goddamn shoulder... jus what i fuckin need, right? A big fucking giant wound.

Well, it's healin now, anyway... slowly... and all the while, I'm strugglin ta keep workin and goin ta school and keepin all my shit together... well, Anna's bein a saint with keeping house for me. Real sweet thing, really.

Heh... if shit don't get all fucked up an fuckin weird again, I can deal with this shit, as it is. Maybe.

Birthday came, and birthday went. Only one who said somethin was K, who just happened ta ask me out ta eat, without knowin it was my birthday... he found out later, though... dunno how he knew I had an August birthday.

I shouldn't care, ya know? I knew THEY ain't gonna call me... they ain't said nothin about my birthday one way or the other since HE was born. Ain't matterin much, ya know? Fuck... still matters... least it was some kinda regulation celebratin thing when I was in elementary school, and then... a few girls would remember, and make me cake an shit when I was in high school. Ain't never been a huge deal for me, but... coulda been because I ain't never liked no one enough to expect em ta care. But... this year... well, I did.

Fuck it, I shouldn't be carin about nothin except work an school.

Ain't nothin fuckin goin on in my little corner of the world. Ain't nothin. Ain't seen hide or hair of nobody. Maybe they fergot about me, or somethin.

Maybe I gotta find myself a new somethin ta do, ya know? Somethin... someone. I kinda feel abandoned.

Yeah, but school's startin again soon... thank god.

Johan gave me this cat ears headband thing, and matchin bottoms. Gonna wear it for him later.

Started hangin out with K again... fuckin bizarre, that. Ain't like it was before... maybe a little better, like now I know I figured him out, so I ain't gotta... I dunno... act like he thinks I should, or somethin. Ain't a stripper no more, ain't a whore no more... ain't gotta act like people want me ta act.

Lookin forward ta school. I got my course schedule all laid out, too... books bought, all that shit. Gonna be rough, workin AND doin school... but it's fuckin worth it.

You Are Beef

You're big, burly, and maybe even a little stinky. And no one's going to come between you and a good steak. And you've probably never met a vegetable you like, unless fries and ketchup count.

Yeah, baby, where's the fuckin beef, huh? >)

I gotta fuckin bone ta pick with some people. Fuck. I'm wonderin why the fuck K's gotta come up in every fuckin conversation... geez. I hate that fucker... ain't nobody an asshole like him. Just when I'm fergettin that he's such a fuckin jerk, somebody gotta fuckin remind me. -_-

Other shit's goin good, though... job's great... spendin time with Seguchi-sama... like, a lotta time. I fuckin love when he stays over. I fuckin love havin him here... sleepin in my bed... I love when we fuck, too... god...

Can't think about that too much... remindin me of when he came to my office... hopin he comes more, too. Ain't nothin like Seguchi-sama.

Saw Johan, too... fuckin miss that kid somethin fierce. Didn't know I'd ever really miss no one... until I started lettin people inta my life. Ain't all bad, though... ain't all bad at all. Seems like Johan's been happy... hangin out with his friend... an... I'm happy that he's happy. Bodes well, huh? Good.

I don't fuckin know how this happened... suddenly I got a slick desk job, and I'm gonna be goin to fuckin grad school in the fall.

I gotta thank... well, I ain't allowed to tell nobody who I'm thankin, but I'm real fuckin thankful, is for sure.

I still got these bruises, though. Damn, ain't never had nobody mess me up that bad before.

This kid is kinda gettin on my nerves... with his fuckin moodiness, and his stupidity, and his split personalities. Fuck. But he does shit for me. I'm not gonna give that shit up so readily. Maybe I should work more, or somethin. I need some kinda outlet.

I think I got a stalker. This shit aint good.