Journal created:
on 29 October 2004 (#4980638)
Updated:
on 22 June 2005
Name:
travis, maybe
Location:
Canada
Website:
crystallite.net
I had an epiphany once.
Two years later, I sit here in my basement, staring at a computer screen. The lights have been turned off, and the moon has nearly completely engulfed the sun in its rays. Inside my head is a whole other world, with gorgeous hills and mountains; flowing rivers and deep valleys. Inside this reality is a boy named ash, whose figure would cause him to be mistaken for a girl. Gorgeous gray eyes, a perfectly smooth, pallid complexion; perfect teeth, perfect hair, a perfectly pleasant person to be around. But inside this boy is deteriorating into a pile of nothing; deteriorating into a pile of helplessness and despair.
This is the boy that two years earlier, was simply beginning to be. He was the fetus of an imagination. Two years later, I sit here, and this boy has completely taken hold of my life and turned his well being into my obsession. He is I, and I am him. Two years later, I sit here, and people tell me that I have gone too far as to endure an obsession with such a silly, facade of emotion; the emotion used to shield my insecurity. There is no such thing as a boy named ash; he is a figment of your and my imagination.
Two years later, and I sit here, no longer myself; I simply am.
I had an epiphany once.
Two years later, I sit here in my basement, staring at a computer screen. The lights have been turned off, and the moon has nearly completely engulfed the sun in its rays. Inside my head is a whole other world, with gorgeous hills and mountains; flowing rivers and deep valleys. Inside this reality is a boy named ash, whose figure would cause him to be mistaken for a girl. Gorgeous gray eyes, a perfectly smooth, pallid complexion; perfect teeth, perfect hair, a perfectly pleasant person to be around. But inside this boy is deteriorating into a pile of nothing; deteriorating into a pile of helplessness and despair.
This is the boy that two years earlier, was simply beginning to be. He was the fetus of an imagination. Two years later, I sit here, and this boy has completely taken hold of my life and turned his well being into my obsession. He is I, and I am him. Two years later, I sit here, and people tell me that I have gone too far as to endure an obsession with such a silly, facade of emotion; the emotion used to shield my insecurity. There is no such thing as a boy named ash; he is a figment of your and my imagination.
Two years later, and I sit here, no longer myself; I simply am.
who am I?
my name is Travis. as far as you know, anyway. who knows, maybe I could be a completely different person. I am fifteen years old and I miss being twelve. I draw and write and don't do my school work. I have a little cross-dressing kitty boy named Ash who lives in my head. I have a love/hate relationship with him. if you greatly dislike this little passive-aggressive neko, do not bother to talk to me. ever. because if you don't like him you won't like me. ♥
I have two close friends whom I love dearly. sometimes I believe I am socially inept, because a lot of the people I've bothered to let get close to me have ended up hating me in the end. for some reason.
maybe it's just me ... but the more you fight against life, the harder life gets.
aim, alice in wonderland, american mcgee's alice, angst, anime, ash, ayumi hamasaki, cartoons, cats, cheshire cat, desperate housewives, deviantart, dir en grey, drawing, eiri, eiri yuki, fan fiction, friends, gravitation, hikaru utada, icons, insomnia, j-pop, j-rock, jack off jill, kaoru, kurt cobain, ky, kyo, lj, malice mizer, mana, miyavi, msn, music, nao, nirvana, oekaki, photoshop, pierrot, roleplaying, rping, shonen-ai, shota, shuichi, the sims2, winamp, writing, yaoi, your mom, yuki