i could not be any happier right now. i am estatic.
i've had an amazing weekend. hanging out with amazing poeple.
friday went to the game. i had fun but we lost. then yesterday i cleaned house and then went out to dinner with tim. he dropped me off at the house and i went to work. we had a cheer team hangout night. it was fun they got to see a real competittion video and we made flip flops and just had fun with them. they needed a night of from us yelling at them just to have fun. then after work went over to tim's to hang with tim, court, davey, beau, jody, and daneil. that was alot of fun!
i am super stress out but i', trying not to let it get to me. homecoming is like 20 days away and i am soo not ready. i have a million more things to plan and order and get together.
i've also decided that i'm done growing up. i'm just sick of it. i want it to be like *snap* "your grown up" ot this lengthy drawn out process of making hard decisions!
i'm going to try t get my mom to go out with me this morning and then i have to babysit this afternoon. eventually my homework will get done.
i hope all of yall had a great weekend. what did u guys do?
so this week felt like i was stuck on the loop part of a rollercoaster.
um evan and me are finally back to stable ground...at least i think so. but as much as this week such relationship wise it made me grow up alot. for the first time ever i am having to actually tell people when things bother me and deal with it.
school is crazy.
lindsey lived with me and that was super fun!!!!!!
i feel like i can't get a head. and it's just crazy.
i'd update this more except i am being distracted.
Restless Spendthrift Hardworking High spirited Deep feelings Understanding Easily angered Sharp thoughts Loves traveling Easily consoled Loves to dream Weak breathing Firm standpoint Easily influenced Strong physically Good imagination Strong clairvoyance Good debating skills Needs no motivation Dislike being at home Systematic (left brain) Not having many children Stubborn and hard-hearted Loves literature and the arts Beautiful physically and mentally Attracts others and loves attention Strong-willed and highly motivated Prone to sickness usually in the ear and neck
it took me 8 months to figure out how to tell someone when things bothered me...
and i thought it was going well
stupid me to think that maybe just once i could be the excitment, the 1st priority,the same thing i was for that person....
it isn't fair. and i don't care what you say. he's had you for years. i have two months left with you and you chose him over me. that just makes me feel like i'm on top of the world ya know....
it sucks to know there is an experation date on teenage relationships. the right guy. wrong time.
my day was amzing lindsey picked me up more than she realized. i'm trying to focus on that.
my fourth of july kinda sucked though. i got a headache from fireworks. neighbors called the cops.evan leaves tomorrow. conversations i refused to have happened.
i just need someone to believe in it. someone to back me up.
so this whole autosave draft thing sucks when u type a whole long entry then decide to not post it and then the nect day it is satring you in face....
i can't see to get on top of life.
on brighter note my senior cheer girls hit a half.together. and with music+together+cradledout+nothing got broke!!!!! major acomplishment. i was so proud. sigh
today was stoney's birthday. we spent the whole dya out shopping and runnign the malls. i got a few things. went in this really cool store where you make your own bath bubles,lotion,perfumes ect...it was soooo cool!!!
evan comes hometomorrow i am super excite. i missed him!
by the way i have been in town for five days and none of yall have called or hung out with me. i must say that is dissapointing.
i've skipped three cheer practices this week. next week someone is going to have to force me to go into the gym. i wanted this so bad and now i'm ditching out...but i feel like i'm in a slum.
i can't say why though.
maybe it's just a this week thing. maybe everything isn't as bad as i think it is. i'll give it a week.
tomorrow will be the first time i have gone out since summer started. and if i don't go out...well then i'm pathetic.
my hair is orange. the die didn't work. it was supposed to make me a red head. it was hte kind that washes out in ten washes...except it doesn't seem to be washing out and it turned orange instead of red becuase my hair has been highlighted. it is very hard to dress up and pretend you are cute with orange hair.
ugh.
i keep pressing enter as if i should write more
i'll tell you about my trip.
it was alot of fun. seeing my aunt is always fun because she used to be my nanny when i was little. my great grandfather was not in very good health. i'm having a hard time accepting that this trip was probally the last time i'll ever see him. that prolly sound morbid but i had always dreamed of having a picture taken with him my aunt my mom me and my first child... kinda like all the generations. he has one great great grandchild but...long story. the town is really tiny. i could prolly run from one end to the other... and yall know i don't like to run. they have one fast food restaurant....dairy queen. i gained a ton of weight while having ice cream blizzards and such everynight. i washed dishes by hand. they have no automatic washer. i did not get to go horseback riding. there is no mall. the most shopping i did was at the antique store. um...not much else happens there. its an old town with lots of older people but a part of me wants nothing more than to move into this house i found. an old couple lives in it right now but they can't take care of it. there is a tree down in the front and the house needs major work. its a fix-er-upper but i fell i love with that house.i'll probably never live in it but i am determined to buy it and fix it up.
my brother had been fourteen for like 20 minutes. i'm exashted. i think i'm done for now.
but over all i'm okay.mr. ugly was funny. evan surprised me and came. my dad came too. i was really happy. i can't remember the last time i posted but evan's prom was great. him and a couple of baseball guys rented a limo and we went to a japanese restaurant. the next day i left and spent the weekend (mostly sleeping) at the lake. i am happy to say i've havent been to a doctor since spring break and i don't plan to go until i have to get my physical for next school year.
evan leaves in 9 months and 2 days. everyone has a different opinion on what i should do. me and him have talked it over many times and we decided that for the next 8 months we will not talk about it because it really is depressing. so yall are my support system for next year. and i know u guys will be there when i just need to hang cuz I HAVE THE BESTEST FRIENDS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!
ok enough boy stuff...school is winding down. ap's the next two weeeks. i'm excited for summer. have a couple of trips planned. maybe church camp...not sure yet.
i've been thinking a lot lately. i'm ready to get out of high school but i'm scared of moving on. i did decenton my sat. i'd like to do much better next time around though. i'm learning more and more to trust god and not sweat the small things. i'm growing up...and i'm not sure i like it yet. i've felt like certain people just don't have enough time for me and thats been hard but i know its just because they are really super busy. my aunt and uncle were staying with us but they have finally left. love them but they had to go haha.
i have a lot on my mind but i think i shall leave you with this: "wish good for those who harm you; wish them well and do not curse them"
tired
crushed
disappointed
content