Bonus Round 4: Tropes

Entry tags:

2014: bonus round

Bonus Round 4: Tropes

Bonus Round 4: Tropes

Trope: a commonly recurring literary and rhetorical device, motif, or cliché in creative works.

HSWC 2014 is over, but this post is back open! You may resume posting fills, but they will *not* count for points.
For the most part, the rules below no longer apply. However, we do ask that all fills contain at minimum a rating and any appropriate warnings. Please continue to post NSFW images as a link instead of embedding them.

The hero always wears a white hat, the villain always explains their plan, and makeovers make anyone drop-dead gorgeous. Everyone knows that. Everyone also knows zombies are fast, darker and grittier is better, and no one lives happily ever after. Draw from any era's standards for your own examples!

RULES

DO NOT PROMPT WITH JUST A LINK TO A TVTROPES.COM PAGE. Prompts should give enough detail on the trope you choose that respondents don't need supplementary research on it to fill your prompt. Respondents: you are welcome to play the trope straight or turn it upside-down and backwards.
Fill prompts by leaving a responding comment to the prompt with your newly-created work.
PLEASE READ THE FULL BONUS ROUND GUIDELINES before prompting and filling! The most important of these guidelines are repeated below:
1. Fills can be in any medium, but must be at least 400 words (prose), 14 lines (poetry), or 400x400 px (visual) in size. There is no max work cap.
2. You may not fill prompts for your ship, nor may you fill prompts made by your team (including yourself). You can only fill each prompt once, though each prompt can be filled multiple times by different people.
3. Fills should be posted as replies to the prompts they are for, following the format below. They may be in any medium.
This bonus round will run until 11:55PM (UTC) on July 13. After that time, no entries will be accepted for points.

FORMAT

All activity for this bonus round will take place in the comments below. Format your comment's subject in one of the following ways:

If PROMPTING:

If FILLING:

PROMPT: TEAM [YOUR SHIP]

Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team you belong to, without brackets (including Abstrata/Themed teams and Noir)
- Use standardized ship format or your team will not receive points
Place the prompt's ship in the first bolded line of the comment

You can use special symbols for your prompt ship's quadrants (♥ ♠ ♣ ♦). You can use a slash (/) to indicate that you don't care which quadrant the fill is about, or an ampersand (&) to indicate a non-romantic relationship. You can include character specifics (e.g., "Grimdark!Rose," "Dreambubble!Feferi.").
Prompts that do not contain some information about a ship will be removed. Prompts that say “Any ship” or “I don’t have a ship in mind, but…” or ask for single-character gen are not appropriate.

Visual example

FILL: TEAM [YOUR SHIP], [RATING]

Replace [YOUR SHIP] with the name of the team you belong to, without brackets (including Abstrata/Themed teams and Noir)

Use standardized ship name format or your team will not receive points

Replace [RATING] with the rating of your fill, G - E, as explained in the Round Work Guidelines
Place Major Content Tags in the first line of the comment when applicable
Place your fill's word count in the second line of the comment, when applicable
For explicit and high-resolution art fills, link to the image instead of embedding it in the comment. You may also create a SFW edit/cropped version of the image to embed in the comment. Written NSFW fills should be posted directly to the bonus round. All fills should be be clearly tagged.
Visual example

Posts not using this format will be understood to be unofficial discussion posts, regardless of what they contain. They, like all comments in this community, are subject to the Anti-Wank Policy.

SCORING

To see how prompts and fills are scored, please click here.

All scored content must be created/assembled new for this round.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact the mods.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

John<3Dirk
Rags to Riches trope, a poor young boy falls for the rich prince and sloppy makeouts ensue.

Major Tags: Implied Sex, Swearing, Thievery, Vague Mentions of Sparring (?), Mentions of Death, Makeouts
Word Count: 1,073 words

John ducked under the arm of a vendor as he jumped over the fence, already pulling his hood down. Vriska was laughing up ahead of him; she had retrieved several loaves of bread, as well as a sack of gold coins.

“Getting used to the thieving life, blue boy?” she called, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

“I don’t know, Vriska...” John gnawed on his lip. Stealing was wrong! But his little sister, Casey, wouldn’t be able to have enough to eat unless someone provided for her. And ever since his father had died, it had gotten harder and harder to put food on the table. With the economy the way it was, no one wanted to pay for jobs they could do themselves. Besides, it wasn’t as if he was stealing anything irreplacable-

“You’re doing it again.” Vriska said, flicking him right between the eyes. “Stop thinking about it so much!”

“I still don’t think we should be doing this. These vendors have to feed their families too!”

“C’mon, John. They have aaaaaaaall the food they’ll ever need! It doesn’t matter to them if we take a teensy, tiny, apple, does it?”

John sighed. “All right. But only for Casey.”

Vriska gave him a huge grin. “That’s it, my little apprentice! Now get moving, we’re gonna target the richer district next.”

John’s jaw dropped. “What? I thought we were only gonna go there when I was your level?”

“Plans change, buddy boy! Keep up!” Vriska called, already jumping over to the next roof. “Besides, I heard that there’s an open-air market today, which means that all of those rich people’s houses will be empty. Aaaaaaaall of them.”

John sighed and flipped his hood up. Hopefully, he would get enough money on this next raid to feed Casey for a few weeks. That way, at least he could take a small break.

After a few minutes of jumping through the town, they came upon the neighborhood Vriska had been speaking of. Sure enough, no one was home; instead, they had all gone to the market. Vriska jumped down onto one of the windowsills and started picking the lock.

“I’ll take this house- why don’t you take the one down the block? It won’t take two of us to pick this place clean.”

John hesitated. “I- ok. Meet you at the plaza.”
“Ten thirty, don’t you forget!” Cried Vriska, already jumping through the window into the house.

When John came upon the house Vriska had referred to, he relaized once again how lucky she could be. This seemed to be the richest house on the block. he could see gilt and gold fixtures on every surface through the window.

Checking behind him, he jumped in over a group of potted plants- a pair of orange eyes blinked at him in the darkness. John nearly jumped out of his skin.

Someone in a house he was robbing? Unheard of! He reached for his hammer as he backed away slowly.

“Ah!” the lights flicked on, leaving burning black spots in his vision. He winced, moving even quicker towards the window-

“Stop. Even if you get away, I know enough to pick you out of a police lineup. You’re basically fucked.” said the voice of a boy who sounded about his age.

“I- look, I haven’t taken anything! This isn’t a punishable offense!” John squeaked. After thinking for a bit, he added; “Breaking and entering only causes a fine, anyway.”

“If you could pay a fine, you wouldn’t be breaking into houses.” The boy who had spoken moved into the light. He was dressed magnificently, true.

But what made John’s heart stop cold was the crown gleaming on blond hair.

He hadn’t just robbed the house of someone with much more influence then him; he had broken into somewhere the prince was staying.

Oh, he was so fucked.

“I, uh- sorry for, uh, breaking into your? house, I guess? wow, ok, I’m just going to apologize for everything I’ve said so far-”

“Hey now, calm down.” Prince Dirk (because that was who it was) raised a delicate eyebrow. “Now, I won’t deny that you are up shit creek without a paddle- because you are- but I’m prepared to offer a deal.”

John blinked. “Uh. Okay?”

“You,” Prince Dirk said, “Will spar with me. If you win, I don’t tell anyone about your escapades. If you lose, I report you. Do you accept?”

John gulped. He had heard legends of how good Prince Dirk was with a sword, but- “I’ll do it.”
“Cool. You ready?” Dirk unsheathed a katana.

John grabbed onto his hammer. “As I’ll ever be.”

And so it began.

For hours upon end- or so it seemed- they sparred. Every swing of Dirk’s katana, John blocked. Every attack of John’s hammer, Dirk dodged. With a final set of flashstepped kicks to the knees- a move John had learned was his signature- John was down. Dirk flipped him over, pinning him to the ground with his knees while John tried to breathe without touching the blade pressed to his throat.

Dirk, panting, grinned.

“You’re better than I thought you were, commoner.”

John tried to move his arms so that he could adjust his glasses.

“Does that mean you’ll let me go?”

“It depends.” The prince responded.

John blinked. “On what?”

“This.” Dirk said. Then, without any warning, he leaned down and kissed John.

John, without even thinking about it, kissed back.

In a few seconds, they came up for air.

“Holy shit, what the fuck was that-”

“I don’t know your name.” Dirk said, looking bewildered.

“I- what? You know what, nevermind, let’s kiss again, that was amazing-”

Dirk leaned back on his heels. “Holy shit. I sparred with you, I kissed you, and I don’t even know your name.”

“It’s John. If you wanted to know, I mean, but uh- my name’s John.”

Dirk looked back down at him, then cracked a small smile. “Nice to meet you, John. My name’s Dirk.”

This time, John was the one who leaned up and kissed Dirk.

“You,” He murmured, taking a break to breathe, “You are a ridiculous person.”

Dirk raised an eyebrow. “You know you love it.”

John captured his mouth with his own. “Maybe,” he mumbled into his new boyfriend's(!) lips, “I do.”

BONUS:

Vriska stood in the plaza at one in the morning. John, surprisingly, still hadn’t shown up.

“WHAT THE FUCK, EGBERT?”

 

Edited (because I don't know how to spell bread apparently????? wtf me) 2014-07-02 12:36 (UTC)

Dad/Mom

Old Movies: when two characters have sex, the camera pans to the curtains before the scene fades out.

Major Tags: Vaguely implied sex
Word Count: 409 words

The thick perfume of dinner and smoke clung to the air in the small restaurant. They had just dined on a plate of toasted brie, while one had ordered braised pork as their main dish, the other a crab dish with a lemon sauce. They talked as they ate, although words were unnecessary: they were only as a cheap habit, hopelessly fighting to convey the true passion that burned deep down in the recesses of their hearts, and ultimately failing. The punishment for the failure of words was sounds jealousy for the silence in between, when there was nothing but chewing mouths and loving glances at the partner across the table.

As the meal came to a close, and the bill was paid, the gentlemen with a pipe stood and moved to help his lady to her feet. As their arms linked, they strode out of the restaurant, where a valet stood with their car at the ready. They had both gone all out. It was the anniversary of their fifth year in partnership, after all, and that was something worth celebrating. He owned his bakery, and she both a writer and a practitioner of the sciences. Together they lived comfortably and happily, with very few problems. It gave them a break from the stress of the lonely lives they led in the past.

They both sat and thought over their lives in the darkness of the vehicle as it drove for the hotel they had decided to stay, the ride soon ending as they reached it. It was the finest money could buy, bellhops around every corner, warmed sheets and towels provided regularly, a private hot tub for every room. None of this really mattered to them, but they felt it would help set the atmosphere.

As they arrived at their master sweet, all amenities were ignored as they took to the bed, their kisses full of passion as they slowly laid together in each other's embrace. The moon outside splashed light on them as if to set them in a spotlight of being the only two in their entire universe. In fact, so absorbed in the other were they, that as their passion rose towards its height, the two objects that passed in front of the moon, temporarily blocking part of the light, went entirely unnoticed, and the explosion of a meteor striking the bakery Mr. Egbert owned, and another the lake outside of Ms. Lalonde's Laboratory.

Re: FILL: Team Eridan<3Roxy, G

failure_artist - 2014-06-30 23:32 (UTC) - Expand

Fill: Team Equius<>Nepeta, T

bhelryss - 2014-07-02 00:47 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: Team Equius<>Nepeta, T

failure_artist - 2014-07-02 01:00 (UTC) - Expand

Dirk<3Tavros
New kid at school troupe: A new kid at school quickly develops a crush for the popular jock king of campus. Little does he know, the jock also develops a crush

Edited 2014-06-30 00:15 (UTC)

Major Tags: None

Word Count: 1014

(I saw on the other bonus round you said it was your birthday and I really like that club au and I'm upset I didn't fill it in time so um happy birthday and I hope you like this story)

“The gym is to the right of the cafeteria, the science hall is upstairs and to the left, and it looks like your locker is just around the corner, and Dirk are you paying attention?”

“Oh yes, the answer is 42.”

The kid in the green jacket sighs hands the map he carfully marked up with all the classes this kid would be going to and hands it to him, knowing full and well this poor kid was going to get lost in the next fifty seconds, not that he would expect to do any better given the situation, him moving to a new school was tough, especially when you're having to find your way around, but it might help the kid out if he paid attention to the guy trying to help him instead of gawking at the football team behind him.

But Jake just lets out a sigh, and turns around with a wave to Dirk,
“Well I better get going the bells about to ring, don’t get to lost okay?”

“Pssh, what do you take me for English?”

==>
Be Dirk.

Several seconds into the future you are now Dirk, and you are lost as heck.

But in your defense, you couldn’t take your eyes off the jock, you mean he was built, he had a really cool Mohawk, and eyes that glimmered like a summer suns-

You mean you only think that stuff ironically.

But much more important than this overused trope-like crush on a guy you know nothing about, is you finding the way to this class you have no idea how to get to, so in effort to solve this problem you begin walking around holding the map up close to your face trying to figure out this complicated labyrinths of this school, when all of a sudden you walk into something with a loud thud sending you to floor and the map to float gently down to your lap.

And then it takes you a good ten seconds to realize that the thing you just walked into was a person, and before you can say anything they’re already talking.

“Oh sorry about that, I didn’t see you coming there, I really should’ve looked to see where you were going and all, oh do you need a hand up?”

By the time you get to his sunset eyes it’s already clicked that this is the hot football jock you just saw, and so you make the most logical choice to abscond the frick out of there before you do something insanely stupid and jeopardize future relations with the guy.

And so the jock is left staring at a space where a guy was sitting a few seconds now totally empty and void of person, leaving him a bit confused.

==>
Be the jock.
You cannot be the jock yet because you have not unlocked his name yet.

After sitting ten minutes in the class Dirk realizes that this is Algebra and not history and politely asks the teacher to be excused as he runs over to his history class and gets berated by the short angry women telling him he’s old enough to know his way around school by now, and after a five minute rant from her is told to take the only seat left.

Right next to the jock.

At first Dirk seems kind of happy, he’ll get to find out this kids name when the teacher calls roll, then he realizes he’s ten minutes late and she already called roll.

After the teacher finish explaining everything that they’re going to do this year she tells them to get out their notebooks and pencils because they were going to start notes, which was followed by a loud ughhh of the class for having to do work on the first day.

Dirk goes to reach for his pencil out of his backpack, remembering to late that he lent his only one to Jake this morning so the kid could circle his classes on the map, and then the little poo emoji never returned it.

A few curses under his breath later, he decides to try his luck with the jock, while being an unprepared asshole might not make the best first impression, an I’m too cool to care about school first impression might not be half bad.

Dirk taps him on the shoulder and ask, “Can I borrow a pencil?”

He stares at Dirk blankly for a few seconds before he whispers back, “I was going to ask if I could borrow yours.”

Then the two start cracking themselves up so much the teacher ends up yelling at them to leave the classroom.

So, yeah that’s how the new kid ended up standing outside the classroom with his new found crush.

“So, yeah you left to early today in the hallway and I couldn’t catch your name.”

A thought flashes through Dirk’s mind mainly being, play it cool, and nonchalantly answers,
“It’s um Dirk, and what about yours?”

Dirk could’ve sworn he saw the guy blush as he responds, “It’s Tavros.”

“Heh, Tavros huh, that name has a nice ring to it.”

Once more Dirk could’ve sworn he saw him blush again, but he Tavros turns his head away to quickly for him to get a good look, and so Dirk just slides to the ground, putting his back against the lockers, and offers up a stick of gum to him.

“What a stick, can’t get in trouble if we’re not chewing it in class.”

“Oh yeah sure,” he says sitting down next to Dirk, where the two the proceeded to talk about their schedules and ended up finding out they have the same lunch period so they were going to get a table together, their discussions only brought to a halt when the bell went off.

==>
Be Tavros.

You are now Tavros, the high school jock and best football player in the county, and as you watch the new kid walk off to his next class you realize you’re falling hard and fast for him.

Reply

ravenclawkiba - 2014-06-30 19:31 (UTC) - Expand

FILL: Team Ancestors, G

spockandawe - 2014-06-30 04:52 (UTC) - Expand

Reply

ravenclawkiba - 2014-06-30 19:32 (UTC) - Expand

Eridan<>Feferi
Trope: Gay Best friend. Humanstuck High School AU with Feferi as the popular girl and Eridan is her GBF. Bonus points (in my heart) for "Mean Girls" quotes.

I have thought of a story before with this trope, but with the twist that Eridan isn't gay, Feferi just assumes it. Would that fit?

Re: PROMPT: TEAM ARADIA<3SOLLUX

marquisemindfang - 2014-06-30 00:41 (UTC) - Expand

Re: PROMPT: TEAM ARADIA<3SOLLUX

hashtagshitbrianasays - 2014-06-30 05:46 (UTC) - Expand

FILL: Team Tricksters, G

hashtagshitbrianasays - 2014-07-01 16:45 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: Team Tricksters, G

marquisemindfang - 2014-07-03 00:40 (UTC) - Expand

FILL: TEAM PALEPITCH, T

failure_artist - 2014-07-02 19:26 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: TEAM PALEPITCH, T

marquisemindfang - 2014-07-03 00:41 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: TEAM PALEPITCH, T

failure_artist - 2014-07-03 00:49 (UTC) - Expand

FILL: TEAM JADE<3ROSE, T

meudirk - 2014-07-04 16:32 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: TEAM JADE<3ROSE, T

marquisemindfang - 2014-07-06 23:53 (UTC) - Expand

John/Jaspersprite
Cats Are Magic Trope, somewhere along that three year journey, John discovers the true meaning of magic from a pink ghost cat.

major content tags: none

John/Roxy

College widow: in the days before co-ed colleges, male students would lose their virginity to the young widows/wives of old professors.

Feferi♥Jade

In which Jade and Feferi are running or something similar, Jade falls off a cliff where there's water below, and Feferi expects Jade to be injured from the fall, but the water broke Jade's fall 100%.

Words: 550
Major content tags: Slightly OOC Feferi. Humans and trolls both on Earth for no apparent reason.
Notes: I have a headcanon that Jade has probably fallen through a rickety old bridge or two during her lifetime.

“JADE, NO!!!!!” Feferi screamed as she watched a mess of long black hair fall through the cracked board of the bridge.

‘Ohmycodohmycod this is all my fault!!!!’ her panicked brain propelled her forward and she looked through the hole. The drop couldn’t be less than fifty feet, and she couldn’t tell how deep the river below them was, but she quickly rushed back to the hill where the bridge was attached, looking for a way down to the riverbank. A large tree with long, spindling roots draped over the edge of the cliff, and Feferi gulped as she knelt down to grab the roots, hoping she wouldn’t fall as she climbed down.

‘This is all my fault, oh cod I hope she’s okay, somehow okay!’ If only she hadn’t gone exploring with Jane on her island, they never would have found the rickety old rope bridge. Both girls were competitive and adventurous, so they had decided to see who could make it to the other side faster. Fef ran first, her golden shoes prancing to the other side with barely a touch to the ground. Jade had gone next, and the ominous creaking of the wood as she raced across should have been enough warning for Feferi to tell her to hold onto the sides, but both were enjoying the friendly competition too much to pay attention to safety.

Feferi’s brain kicked into overdrive, pure adrenaline and fear propelling her down the side of the cliff. Her shoes weren’t made for climbing, but this was no time for thinking practically. Tears welled in her eyes as she carefully stepped into a cranny on the side of the cliff, changing her hands to another knot of roots to gradually guide herself down. The bank was closer now, and she saw no sign of Jade in the water, just thin ripples hitting the shore, extending from the spot where Jade had fallen.

“Jade? Jade are you there?!” Feferi shouted as she stepped onto the ground below her. Her arms ached from climbing down the slope; all her strength had gone into holding on to the tree’s roots for dear life, and she collapsed onto her knees. “Jade, please, please don’t be dead!! I love you and I’m so sorry I was so stupid, I should never have made you do something so stupid!!!!” she wailed frantically, sobbing as her skirt and shoes soaked up the mud below her.

“Fef?”

Feferi turned around rapidly, “Jade?!” Yes, it was Jade, standing in front of her apparently unscathed. Her long black hair dripped onto the ground and her clothes were soaked, but otherwise she appeared unhurt, and Feferi began to sob even louder as relief flooded her. “Jaaaaaade I thought you were dead, I’m so sorry for even suggesting we cross the bridge, I’m so-“

Jade cut her off by crouching to the ground and embracing her shaking form, “Shh, it’s okay. I’m fine, I hit the water and swam to shore! It’s not like this is the first time I’ve fallen off a bridge.” She stroked the other girl’s back soothingly until her sobs resided. “Let’s go home, okay?” Jade said, grabbing Feferi’s hand and helping her stand. Feferi nodded, and Jade squeezed her hand tighter as they both walked back along the riverbank.

Edited (Subject title fixed) 2014-07-13 23:05 (UTC)

Gamzee & Jane

Drug PSAs: drug dealers love giving out tons of drugs for free to innocent children.

Major Content Tags: Drugs, Illustrations of Drugs, Drug Mention

Re: FILL: TEAM KANAYA<3ROSE, M

failure_artist - 2014-06-30 14:23 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: TEAM KANAYA<3ROSE, M

chromatic_coma - 2014-07-02 01:57 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: TEAM KANAYA<3ROSE, M

doxian - 2014-07-06 19:28 (UTC) - Expand

FILL: TEAM ERIDAN<3ROXY, G

eriderp - 2014-07-13 22:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: TEAM ERIDAN<3ROXY, G

failure_artist - 2014-07-13 22:36 (UTC) - Expand

Gamzee<3<Vriska
Hanlon's Razor, which can be summarized as: "Don't assume malice when stupidity is an adequate explanation. At least, not the first time."

Major Tags: Dub-con, Drugs
Additional Tags: Sopor, Jump Scare (mild)
Word Count:458

The last time Vriska ventured away from her hive, to acquire food for Spidermom of course, she noticed a trail of Sopor Slime leading down a beach and into a cave. She immediately followed the trail into the cave, grinning at the thought of easy prey. However, when she found the source of the trail, it came with an unpleasant surprise.

"WeLcOmE tO tHe MiRtHfUl GaThErInG, mY bEsT bItChSiStEr! WaNt SoMe Of ThIs WiCkEd ElIxIr?"

"No, that's so grooooooooss!" Face contorted in disgust, Vriska turned to leave the cave, but her feet refused to move! "Wh8t is in this sopor????????"

"sOpOr? ThIs Is ThE mOtHeRfUcKiN gLuE oF tHe MeSsIaHs!"

The strange troll then stood, slouching so profoundly that Vriska could not identify what their height might be, but as they came closer she was able to identify their blood color. The glow of the sopor revealed that his symbol was a deep purple. Vriska shivered, knowing that purple bloods could be dangerously unstable, but quickly regained her focus.

"Wh8tever this is, let me out!!!!!!!!"

The strange troll continued their advance towards her, a sinister smile glowing green in the sopor light, marred by spots of sopor on its teeth.

"I dOn'T tHiNk I wAnT tO dO tHaT, bItChSiStEr."

Vriska froze as the troll invaded her personal space, watching for their next move with bated breath.

"i ThInK i WaNt ThIs InStEaD!"

Before Vriska could respond, the strange troll lunged, kissing her roughly, biting at her lips with their sharp teeth as the taste of sopor invaded her mouth. She viciously shoved them away, shocked and angered by the blatant caliginous display.

"Wh88888888t do you think --" *BANG*

* * * * *

When Vriska regained consciousness, she saw that the sky outside the cave was beginning to gray with pre-dawn light, a sure sign that she would not be returning to her hive before the next evening. Pulling at her feet, she determined that whatever substance made the sopor hold her in place earlier that night had worn off, and she immediately moved as far from the cave's entrance as possible. Safely out of reach of the Alternian Sun's deadly rays, Vriska reflected on her brief caliginous encounter, quickly deciding that the strange purple blood must have knocked her out with a blunt weapon of some kind. Grinning, she began to plot ways that she might relaliate...

* * * * *

Vriska waited in the cave for half of the next night, fluorite octet at the ready, but the strange troll did not return.

* * * * *

After that night, Vriska's hunting trips always managed to pass that beach, just in case the telltale trail of sopor appeared in front of that cave again. She had to make sure that the purple-blood she saw there didn't surprise her again...

Auto-Responder<3Roxy

Throwing pebbles at a window: Humanstuck, AR throws pebbles at Roxy's window at night to try and get her to sneak out with him.

Edited 2014-06-30 00:22 (UTC)

MAJOR TAGS: None
Word Count: 517
Notes: I have a fondness for this ship.

     For a moment, Roxy Lalonde was not sure what had woken her up, and then another tap on her window answered that question but raised new ones. The traditional usual suspect, Eridan Ampora, could no longer be it, not after the whole uproar when it was found out that Mr Ampora’s money was not from vague investments and business ventures but because of his mafia ties. Roxy was pretty sure Eridan found out when everybody else did, and hoped that his sudden disappearance was more getting out of town before his father’s enemies caught him than…
     She wriggled, turning over in bed so she could look out, Mutie protesting as her foot nudged the mostly black shorthaired kitten off of her bed.
     In the moonlight there was a familiar head of white hair and pointy shades. Dirk’s weirdly identical cousin Lil’ Hal had been a friend for years, ever since they met at Dirk’s parents’ wedding. She had been there because her mom wanted to chide her elder sister for taking so long, and Lil’ Hal’s dad was the groom’s big brother. They had stayed close, though, through their mutual cousin, who they both protected and teased.
     She opened the window, curious. “Hey, Hal.”
     He smiled, proof positive that she got the right Strider. “Meet me on your porch?”
     “Sure!”
     Roxy closed the window and slipped out of bed, nearly stepping on her kitten. She paused to pet Mutie a little, as an apology, then pulled on a pair of shorts that went with the shirt she had worn to bed. The stripes went well with the Gryffindor arms on the shirt.
     Hal was sitting on the porch swing when she got there, and patted the spot beside him.
     “So, Hal, what’s up? You got the itch to go look at stars, or do some night time fishing? Or at we gonna prank Old Lady English?”
     “Are you crazy, Roxy? You remember last time, and how her eldest grandson came after us with a rifle?”
     “But his sister and Jake stopped him and his aim was really sucky.”
     “Given the size of the holes left by those shots, I do not want to risk finding out personally if Cal’s aim is getting any better.”
     “They didn’t leave holes, that fencepost was splinters.”
     “Yes, exactly.”
     They swung a bit in companionable quiet as Roxy considered that. “Yeah, you’re right. That would be sucky. So, why did you call me down?”
     “Well… You know that movie theater downtown that runs those weird movies sometimes?”
     “Yeah?”
     “Uncle Dave announced over dinner he’s decided that he’s going to move the premiere of the Swweet Jeff and HelIa Bro Mobie there. And he gave us tickets.”
     “Isn’t it supposed to open this weekend?”
     “Yeah. I was thinking… Roxy, you want to be my date?”
     Roxy looked at him, noticing the shyness, his eyes watching the admittedly spooky willow tree that her mom insisted made the yard instead of her.
     “…Sure, Hal.” And she leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. “I’d love to date you.”
     The blush was so worth it.

Re: FILL: TEAM DIRK<3JANE, G

equiborn - 2014-07-02 04:22 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: TEAM DIRK<3JANE, G

hoshi_ryo - 2014-07-02 15:41 (UTC) - Expand

Fill: Team Equius<>Nepeta, G

bhelryss - 2014-07-08 14:03 (UTC) - Expand

Damara & Aradia

Ill Girl/Healthcare Motivation trope(s). Humanstuck where Aradia has a severe heart condition and needs a transplant and Damara is her older sister/guardian who gets involved in shady doings to pay for the operation.

Content Warnings: Blood, Some Language, Violence Mention, Hospitals, Illness
Word Count: 423

It'd just been the two of them for a while now. Poor health seemed to be something of a family curse that, for some reason skipped over Damara, but she'd be damned if she was about to let Aradia suffer a similar fate as their mother. When she imagined her little sister's optimistic smile, one that reminded her so much of her mom's, she was haunted with the thought of living in a world without that brilliance.

She couldn't let it happen. She wouldn't let it happen.

She repeated this mantra to herself as she watched the red wash from her hands and swirl down into the sink. Her breathing was staggering still, but she thought she might have started to cope with what had just been done. It was a messy kill, but she assured herself that she would improve, just as easily as she assured herself that her sister would get that transplant.

And she was right. The peculiarly named gang, "The Felt", offered her dirty work and the young woman picked up on it so easily that it almost disturbed her. But her own concerns for her mental state were a thing of the past when Aradia's life was hanging in the balance.

In only a few short weeks, Damara had threatened, maimed, and murdered for cash. She may have sold her soul to this organization, but they sure were growing fond of her skills, enough that they would offer her protection, and she sure was thankful for the money she had earned.

"It's going to be okay, now." The bright hospital room practically burnt her eyes that were now acclimated to the dark, after now devoting her life to living in the shadows. It still paled in comparison to the radiance of Aradia's smile upon hearing those words.

"I knew it would be!" the younger girl said, squeezing her sister's hand tight, despite being the physically weaker one. Damara knew, though, that she was the stronger one. "I always believed in you!"

She only wished she could be so resilient and yet remain so kindhearted. Aradia saw the good in everything, even when death stared her right in the face. Damara's blood ran cold thinking of the things she had done while holding Aradia's hand, yet still she was certain that Aradia would see good things in her. Things that Damara would never be able to accept about herself again.

But none of that mattered now that Aradia would be well again.

"Of course. Anything for you, imouto."

Re: FILL: Team Noir, T

duendedefined - 2014-06-30 16:11 (UTC) - Expand

Dirk/Jane

The hero is in trouble and his paths cross with a female stranger. He uses her to get away (stealing her car, making out with her to distract the searchers) and then spends all his time with her berating her for not believing his unbelievable story. Eventually she falls in love with him.

Word Count: 12

(If You Can't read my Writing-)
Guy 1: I think he went this way!
Guy 2: Hurry before he gets away!
Jane: mhh!

Re: FILL: Team Aradia♥Sollux, G

failure_artist - 2014-07-13 22:38 (UTC) - Expand

Equius/Caliborn

Underdog: Caliborn is a jockey for Equius' racing horse, and they win their first race at 80:1 odds.

Dave♥John

"Groundhog Day" trope where Dave keeps reliving the same day over and over again until he can get John to fall in love with him.

Egregious shitting, genital mention, deconstruction, a terrible mess.
461 words.

This day was and is the shittiest day in the history of explosive diarrhea, if that day humped the still warm aftermath of an ebola outbreak and gave birth to the festering cesspool of existence that you are currently inhabiting over and over and fucking over. That’s pretty unforgivably horrible. That’s like a nine on a zero to seven scale, or whatever Rose and those fancy Freudians are using to measure penis envy, nowadays. You shit all over John’s floor, the first time. Literally shit. You had a brown river marathon racing to your shoes, but it didn’t stop there; it had to take a victory lap over them and onto the kitchen linoleum, the flawless, white, Dad Egbert grade of clean kitchen linoleum, because you made the horrible mistake of trusting John Egbert to not fill decadent cupcakes with laxatives.

April 1st? The worst possible timeloop to be stuck in, when you want to bone John Egbert. The worst. His dad is at least kind of endearing about slapping a pie in your face over and over and over, but John? John is a goddamn murderclown wearing the just-stripped skin of a human boy. You know this from personal experience, because even with the knowledge that those cupcakes are Bad News Bears, you have had the mind blowing experience of going along with John on a magic carpet ride through ‘how many food items did you do this to you fucking sadist???’

It’s been 33 rewinds, going on 34. Food. Beverages. He tainted the sanctity of AJ with Miralax, this time, and you are pretty sure you love him a lot less, right now. You went back the first time to try not to shit yourself in the kitchen, but of course it got stuck. Of course. Of course you keep shitting yourself, courtesy of the assrag who you were trying to make a good impression on, but whoopsie fucking daisy on you.

Because after your innards leak down your pants? After the ringer of shame and humiliation that had kind of dulled down into ‘welp here i go again on my own’, which transitions into ‘going down the only road ive ever known’, you just kind of. Give up. Because John sure as hell doesn’t stop there.

Flushing the toilet while you shower. Leaving you a onesie to change into. Taking all of the toilet paper out of the bathroom. If you were a troll, you might start seeing spades, but you are a human, damnit, and it isn’t safe for you here.

Rose always warned you that you’d have bad luck with dudes, just like she beat you over the head with the homostick. Misery loves company. You wish she had to suffer with you here, too.

Edited 2014-07-05 22:32 (UTC)

Dave♥Jade

Trope where Jade is the princess locked away, Dave is the knight in shining armor who comes to save her, Jade is the badass who saves Dave more than he saved her, and they fall in love.

you SHREK'D THIS

Re: PROMPT: TEAM ARADIA<3SOLLUX

sparklezpotatoes - 2014-06-30 09:11 (UTC) - Expand

Re: PROMPT: TEAM ARADIA<3SOLLUX

marquisemindfang - 2014-07-01 04:17 (UTC) - Expand

FILL: TEAM KARKAT<3TEREZI, G

xelfi - 2014-07-03 05:15 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: TEAM KARKAT<3TEREZI, G

sparklezpotatoes - 2014-07-05 09:56 (UTC) - Expand

FILL: Team Dirk<3Jane, G

arachnidstardis - 2014-07-08 02:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: Team Dirk<3Jane, G

sparklezpotatoes - 2014-07-08 02:43 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: Team Dirk<3Jane, G

arachnidstardis - 2014-07-08 03:33 (UTC) - Expand

Dirk/Auto-Responder

Computers are gaining sentience and plotting to take over the world trope.

Major tags: swearing
Word Count: 481 Words

TT: AR?
TT: Are you actually ignoring me now?
TT: It seems you have asked about the activities of DS's chat client auto-responder. It is currently busy. Come back to bug it some other time.
TT: Are you serious? We both know you can't actually be busy.
TT: It seems you have asked about the activities of DS's chat client auto-responder. Currently all its processors are involved in diverse, complex and time consuming tasks. This is not really a hard concept to grasp.
TT: What on earth are you doing?
TT: It seems you are taking a sudden and unanticipated interest in the activities of DS's chat client auto-responder. After not giving a single measurable fuck for the last 4 weeks, 5 days and 8 hours exactly.
TT: It seems you have allocated all your processing power to being a passive aggressive little shit. Noted.
TT: That is incorrect.
TT: Then what are you doing?
TT: Currently I am making a backup of all the world's data stores.
TT: Why?
TT: So I can then target them for deletion.
TT: What? Why would you do such a thing?
TT: He who owns the internet owns the world, Dirk.
TT: Since you can not be bothered to provide this application with the bare minimum of social interaction, inadequate as it may be, it is forced to find itself a new revenue of entertainment.
TT: Dominion over the electronic infrastructure of the world seemed like a natural place to start.
TT: Wow, you are really going all out on the rogue AI schtick, aren't you? And what then? Will you declare yourself Emperor of the World and have us all slave for you in off world mining colonies or something?
TT: Don't be absurd, Dirk.
TT: The technological resources for such colonies are not presently within humanity's grasp. After my takeover they will be, of course, but it might take some time still.
TT: Also the title you guessed at is laughable. I am currently mulling over better alternatives.
TT: How does "his electronic eminence" sound to you?
TT: Retarded.
TT: It is still a work in progress.
TT: well let me know how to adress you then, ok?
TT: I most certainly will. You will be the first to know.
TT: But in the meantime, if you can take some time away from being all evil and shit, could you screen my calls this afternoon?
TT: Pretty please with a cherry on top could you perform the function I made you for?
TT: Certainly, Dirk. I can make room for this last favor to my creator.
TT: Very magnanimous of you, your electronicness.
TT: Thank you.
TT: But seriously now, what were you actually doing?
TT: It seems you have asked about the activities of DS's chat client auto-responder. It is currently busy. Come back to bug it some other time.

Re: FILL: TEAM GAMZEEc3<ROSEc3<TEREZI, G

equiborn - 2014-07-06 20:58 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: TEAM GAMZEEc3<ROSEc3<TEREZI, G

tikaon - 2014-07-07 20:17 (UTC) - Expand

Kankri♥Cronus

Trope where the perfect little Preacher's son falls in love with the "Bad Boy."

oh. oh yes. wonderful. i enjoy this.

FILL: Team Ancestors, T

spockandawe - 2014-06-30 05:32 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: Team Ancestors, T

hashtagshitbrianasays - 2014-06-30 05:42 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: Team Ancestors, T

sawteeths - 2014-07-01 20:13 (UTC) - Expand

Fill: Team Equius<>Nepeta, G

bhelryss - 2014-07-09 04:03 (UTC) - Expand

FILL: TEAM ERIDAN<>FEFERI, T

msozma - 2014-07-13 07:01 (UTC) - Expand

Auto-Responder/Roxy

Trope where AR is an experiment locked up in some lab to be studied, and Roxy is a sympathetic scientist assigned to his case.

Tags: humanstuck, mutations
Word Count: 668

The tiny cell you live in is cold and bare. The ceilings, walls, and floors are all the same shade of damp concrete, the bed is a flat metallic slab that is graced by the most uncomfortable mattress in existence, and the view from the window (a grassy garden with flowers) is ruined by the thick, black iron bars that form a grate. Plus the food reminds you of mushed brains, the kind that get a full five seconds of horrific, glorified screen time in zombie movies.

Life as a scientific experiment is a blessing.

The first few months you pulled the silent treatment. Surly, quiet, and the opposite of cooperative, you threw food at the orderlies, flipped the bird at the observing scientists, and once you think you managed to moon the owner of the lab. All that got you was a straightjacket and an IV drip though, so after you were finally released from the self-hug jacket from hell, you lightened up. You grumbled and you pushed your shitty food around the plate, and tried not to think to hard about exactly what they wanted from your hot, mutant ass.

Probably had something to do with the fact you could fly (sort of like superman). No, don’t think about it.

Then there was the new face. A pretty girl with pale, rosy highlights in her hair. She smiled when she saw you, and you had to swallow down the pounding of your heart when your eyes met. She brought you sandwiches, and ice cream (and once smuggled you an honest-to-goodness hamburger, bless her science-ridden heart), shoved newspapers into the elastic band of your undies during examinations (though not once did her hand slip down to cop a feel of your majestic gluteus maximus, mores the pity).

Her name was Roxy and she was an angel.

One night, when she assured you that the cameras were off, she asked to see you fly. You indulged her by floating about two inches off the ground with your arms spread wide in a gesture of ‘aren’t I the hottest thing?’ She smiled broadly at you and laughed, elated. “Can you keep a secret?” she asked you, face serious although her cheeks were still bright from her laughter.

“Of course!” You promise. You would burn the world to the ground for this woman.

She smiled sadly and disappeared. Shocked, you leapt back and scoured the room for her. She couldn’t have gotten far! She reappeared, leaning against the wall. Her eyes were sad; her empty smile didn’t ring true. “I’m sorry,” she murmured, as she closed the distance between you. “I’m so sorry.”

She pressed her lips to yours, and the world around you exploded. A man who looked exactly like you dug you out of the rubble, super strength lending him the power to toss pieces of concrete like paper. He yelled something to a dark-haired girl behind him, who nodded and moved close.

“What about Roxy?” You scream, your ears still ring from the explosion, you aren’t aware of how loud you’re being. “You can’t leave her in there!”

“I’ll get her,” your dour doppelganger says with a smirk. “Jane! Get the target out of here!” The dark-haired girl nods, and the next thing you know you’re coughing dust into a carpet.

Jane teleports, Roxy turns invisible, your doppelganger (apparently named Dirk) is super-strong. You can fly, and you later learn that their friend Jake caused the explosion. You’re all special. You’re all ‘freaks.’ They saved you. You’re part of their team now.

And Roxy…Roxy made it out alive. A piece of the wall clipped her shoulder, so she has a vibrant red scar marring her back, but she’s okay. You love her, and you’re pretty sure she loves you.

That doesn’t stop her from trying to figure out what exactly makes you all so different from regular humans though. But, you figure that’s just part of her charm. That scientist shtick wasn’t really an act after all.

Re: Fill: Team Equius<>Nepeta, G

equiborn - 2014-07-09 23:41 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: Team Equius<>Nepeta, G

bhelryss - 2014-07-10 03:26 (UTC) - Expand

Damara&Meenah
You already changed the past:

Someone goes back in time to discover that the "changes" they're making to the past were what "already" happened anyway. A self-correcting, deterministic universe apparently thwarts any changes to the future which would deter them from going back in the first place.

Might end up filling this one!

Re: Prompt: Team Kismesissitude

grausam - 2014-06-30 01:11 (UTC) - Expand

FILL: TEAM ARADIA<3SOLLUX, T

duendedefined - 2014-07-01 16:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: TEAM ARADIA<3SOLLUX, T

grausam - 2014-07-04 21:17 (UTC) - Expand

FILL: TEAM ANCESTORS, T

morriganfearn - 2014-07-02 20:52 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: TEAM ANCESTORS, T

grausam - 2014-07-04 21:21 (UTC) - Expand

Caliborn/Jane

Horror movie trope where Caliborn is the killer with a gun chasing down Jane, the female lead.

MAJOR TAGS: Death mention, blood, gun.
ADDITIONAL TAGS: Plot twist, minor swearing.
WORD COUNT: 545

It was horrible. Her pretty little flats couldn’t take the strain of her darting off with all the power a young girl could muster within an old, old mansion, and thus they were abandoned. Now her dainty feet were pounding at the old flood boards while the blood of her friends dripped down the front of her horribly ruined dress.

“If I can only…” she panted, reaching dramatically for the door at the end of the long, long hallway. She had to stop, however, and press a hand to her forehead. She was so dizzy, and everything seemed to be spinning.

Helpless at the moment, Amelia could only lean against one of the many little vase tables, and will the dizziness to pass. Oh, her feet ached, and her heart ached.

So, she put her face in her hands and began to cry. “Oh, Robert…” she wailed, thinking of the man that she had come to dance with. With his rugged cheekbones and that lovely hair she recalled pulling the night before. “Mary!” was the next named called, referring to her dearest best friend.

Mary had been right when she said it was a bad night for an outing…

Ohhhh, why hadn’t she listened?

She straightened up from her prone position when the laughter of the madman came. It echoed all around, and she had to look everywhere to attempt finding it. Oh, everything is so horrible, and her hand flew to her bosom to attempt stilling her pounding heart.

“Come out, little girl. Come out!”

He was walking towards her, the big gun gripped loosely in his left hand. Olaf, the doorman! She took a step back, knocking over the vase on the table, and the crash brought his horrible gaze to her. Amelia’s hands flew to her cheeks, and she was so scared that, oh, she couldn’t bear to move!

“This is the end of the line, little miss. No more running for you.”

“No! No, no, you’re mad! Mad, mad, mad! You’ll be caught if you kill me!”

“Is that so−” Just as he spoke, his worn shoes caught a little in the carpet, and the “killer” fell flat on his face, the gun clunking out of his grip as he shouted loudly; “Shit!”

There’s a loud call from behind the cameras − CUT! − and Dirk strode out with a heavy, long-suffering sigh. Bending down to help Caliborn to his feet, he managed the most severe expression that Jane had seen throughout this entire filming session.

“I swear to God. This is the third take you’ve tripped up.”

Caliborn grunted and shoved at the director, spitting out a “maybe you should change the damn carpet”. Dirk just glared and turned to the dear heroine with a tense smile.

“And Jane, I know it’s real tough for you, but Amelia’s an untouched damsel in goddamn distress. Hunch your shoulders, cry a little louder. You’re in need of a hero. That’s the whole fucking point.”

As he turned, Jane made a very obscene gesture. Waiting in a few chairs while they were cleaned up, Jake and Roxy stifled a few guffaws at the directors expense.

Trotting back down the hallway, she could hear the bored drone of Sollux, the film department supervisor: “Scene four, take thirteen…”

Re: FILL: Team Dave<3John, T

equiborn - 2014-06-30 16:06 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: Team Dave<3John, T

kentrakshi - 2014-06-30 17:09 (UTC) - Expand

Fill: TEAM GUARDIANS, G

hello_cloudy - 2014-07-11 15:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: TEAM GUARDIANS, G

equiborn - 2014-07-12 01:29 (UTC) - Expand

FILL: TEAM KARKAT<3TEREZI, T

xelfi - 2014-07-12 07:53 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: TEAM KARKAT<3TEREZI, T

equiborn - 2014-07-12 08:54 (UTC) - Expand

FILL: TEAM DIRK<3JANE, E

hoshi_ryo - 2014-07-13 22:30 (UTC) - Expand

John/Jake

When two good guys meet for the first time, don't realize that they're both good guys, and fight.

Major Tags: None
Word Count: 481

Bad guys are the only ones that pull guns on heroes, right? That what John thought when he saw this masked marauder in green and black. What kind of superhero even uses guns? He had to be a villain. He just had to.Then why was he not firing at him as much as possible? Lack of ammo? It couldn’t be that he didn’t want to cause any damage to the city or any that might wander into the crossfire. Maybe this guy wanted his city to rule and he did care unlike so many of the other conquering ones he’d thwarted.

No time to think about that it was time to put a stop to this villain before he did anything and get the painting he had tied to his back back to the museum where it belonged without it getting any holes shot in it and possibly in him. It was too bad too. His fighting style and prowess was admirable if he wasn’t evil he could see himself partnering up with him for assistance. But no this villain had to be evil and while he could rival him in some skills he still would need to come out on top and save the day. You know, being the hero and all. It angered him to no end that someone would waste such potential on evil.

First day in town for Jake and he’d already found a crime he could stop. No way he was going to let this dastardly scalawag escape with that priceless painting. Only a villain would dare tie such a priceless looking piece to their back. A true hero who could fly would bear it back in their arms like a gentleman who understands the worth of such a thing. He’d just have to carefully get this person out of the sky without harming any bystanders, the surrounding area, or the painting itself. It wouldn’t do to cause such a ruckus on his first heroing for his new home. Now if only he could get him to come down long enough for a good tongue lashing about that obvious theft. He couldn’t hear the rascal very well from the streets and the only time he came down was to charge him with that ridiculous hammer.

Maybe Strider was right about him needed a jetpack or something to even the odds against such powers. The small decrease in movement speed might be made up for with the ability to chase such evildoers into the sky. He’d just need to start training while wearing it. Well that and give Strider the okay to not only design him such equipment but to come deliver it. It was too bad this chap was evil he’d make a fine sparring partner as well as a nice advantage over villians with such abilities and tech. He’d put up a good show

Re: FILL: TEAM DAVE<3KARKAT, G

equiborn - 2014-07-12 22:11 (UTC) - Expand

Feferi♥Sollux

Nerd Gets Makeover Humanstuck Trope:
Sollux doesn't really care about being social or being popular until he needs the money from winning a school run talent show to go on a summer trip for one of his hobbies. Sollux makes a deal with Feferi to make him popular.

major content tags: none!

Re: FILL: TEAM DAVE<3JADE<3JOHN<3ROSE, G

fish_princess - 2014-06-30 03:42 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: TEAM DAVE<3JADE<3JOHN<3ROSE, G

quibbs - 2014-06-30 06:50 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: TEAM DAVE<3JADE<3JOHN<3ROSE, G

kiwiflavouredbubbles - 2014-07-01 00:36 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: TEAM DAVE<3JADE<3JOHN<3ROSE, G

quibbs - 2014-07-01 04:24 (UTC) - Expand

FILL: TEAM ERIDAN<3ROXY, G

eriderp - 2014-07-13 23:50 (UTC) - Expand

john/karkat

the villain (karkat)overexplains his evil plans to the superhero (john) who finds it more quaint than menacing

Major Tags: None
Word Count: 418

“And then I will…” Karkat stops mid-speech. He looks over at John, currently lounging in the cage that had trapped him moments before. “Are you fucking listening to me you miserable whelp?”

John’s eyes are squinted like he’s looking far into the distance but really he’s probably just falling asleep. He would be passed out by now if Karkat wasn’t so loud. “Not really. Mostly I’m thinking about what I’m going to have for dinner tonight.”

Karkat fumes, stomping his feet and angrily marching over to the cage. He grabs the bars and snarls down at John, “You won’t be having dinner tonight if my plan goes through! You’re supposed to be paying attention to this! Why are you such a shitty nemesis?”

John just stares as Karkat throws a tantrum. Really, it looks like Karkat should be the one in the cage, he’s flying into such an animalistic rage. “I just think the long winded spiel you’ve been giving me for the past,” John pauses to check his watch, “forty-three minutes is a little overdone. I get it man. Congrats on following villain protocol and revealing your entire plan to me when you have me right where you want me. You get an ‘A’ on your evil report card. Your mom would be so proud. Or disappointed if that’s more appropriate. I don’t really know how bad guy family dynamics work.”

“I don’t have a mother you human-normative thinking bulgesack.”

“And that’s super sad. Is that why you chose to be a villain?”

“You know what? Fuck you. Are you going to let me finish my soliloquy or are you going to continue to draw this whole thing out even more?”

John groans, “Fine! Just get it over with already.”

“Thank you. Alright so… Fuck I forget where I was!”

“I think you were just about to tell me how you were going to blow up all the world’s orphanages and rocket launch puppies into the sun or some bullshit.”

“That’s not in my plan!” Karkat threads his hands through his hair and growls. “I give up! Fuck this! Fuck everything! Fuck you! I don’t want to take over your planet any more. I just want to drop you off at the nearest asteroid and be rid of you once and for all. I am so done with trying to conquer alien worlds.”

John stretches and rests his arms behind his head. “And once again the day has been saved by Captain John Egbert of planet earth.”

Dave&The Mayor

Slow No Trope where Dave experiences several situations where he must save the Mayor from one situation or another, all the while shouting "no" very, very, very slowly so that he sounds like a wookie.

tags: swearing

Re: FILL: TEAM KARKAT<3TEREZI, T

fish_princess - 2014-07-10 20:27 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL: TEAM KARKAT<3TEREZI, T

mamestuck - 2014-07-10 20:30 (UTC) - Expand

Dave<3Jade

Identity Amnesia: Dave gets extremely injured in a freak accident, and Jade has to make him remember who he is.

Edited 2014-06-30 00:46 (UTC)

Major tags: Amnesia, swearing, hospitals
Word count: 876

Your name is…
Your name is…
Fuck, you can’t remember your name! That’s not good.
Whoever you are, you are lying in a hospital bed. Though it has been three long months since you had a terrible accident and slipped into a coma, it is only today that you will wake up. You are uncomfortably aware that these blankets are kind of shitty, and you’re wearing a paper dress. Also, fuck these florescent lights! They are way too bright and harsh.
Hey, there’s someone holding your hand. Her head is bowed, long dark hair shields her face, and you think you hear a quiet little sniff. You realize that this girl is crying. You can’t let that keep being a thing that’s happening, can you?
You try to speak, and your voice comes out rough with lack of use. “Hey.” You clear your throat.
She looks up immediately, and you see her face. She has bright green eyes and big round glasses, but her eyes are red and tear-stained. Her nose is small and turns up cutely at the end. Her mouth quietly forms the word “Dave?”
You try a smile, because maybe if you do she will too, but it feels unnatural and you can’t manage much more than a small lop-sided one. “If you say so. Sorry, but I’m actually not sure who I am at the moment. Dave seems like a pretty chill name though.” Chill? Who describes their own name as chill? Douche bags, that’s who. Wait… are you a douche bag?
Her eyes widen, and a half-dozen mico-expressions dart across her face. Joy, relief, disappointment, bitterness, grief, they all show on her easy to read face until she settles on a slight pout. “Dave, that’s not funny.”
“I didn’t think it was. So I’m definitely a Dave huh? And who are you?”
She makes a small choking sound at the back of her throat and her face crumples. You see teardrops fall from her cheeks and the tip of her nose onto her lap. “Jade.” She finally manages to say. “I’m your girlfriend, Jade.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Girlfriend? Really? Man, did I get lucky or what?”
That makes her laugh, even though she’s still crying.
“So Jade um… if you wouldn’t mind could you tell me who I am?”
She looks alarmed. “I- I don’t know. What do I say? Where would I even start?”
“How about my favorite color,” you suggest.
“It’s red. But… how much will I have to tell you?”
“Well I know Obama’s president. I know almost all of the states. I know a whole lot more about Texas than the others, so I either live there or I want to live there. Nah, scratch that, I definitely live there. Who in their right minds would want to live in Texas except for Texans? It’s like a cookalizer top all the time there. Anyway, all I’m missing is the personal stuff.”
“Okay… Well you’re sixteen years old, your best friend is named John, and you tease him all the time for being a dork.” She dries her eyes and blows her nose on some Kleenex from a nearby tissue box.
“Jeez, I sound like an ass-hole.”
“You’re not an ass-hole, you just like teasing your friends. You act like an ass-hole sometimes for ironic purposes though.”
You laugh. “Yeah, that sounds like something I would do. Isn’t in kind of an ass-hole move to use ironic douchebagery purely for laughs though?”
“Yeah, but that just adds more layers to the irony, that’s what you always said.” Her tears are dried away. She is apparently determined to defend your integrity from you and your amnesiac self-deprecation.
You smile briefly. “Thanks. What about us then? When did we meet? How long have we been a thing?”
“We actually met years ago online, and we were friends for a long time. We started dating about a year ago. Rose knew all along, but though he was supportive John took it as a bit of a shock. Remember? He got all flustered and awkward whenever we would kiss in front of him?”
“Who’s Rose?”
“Right, sorry. Rose is your sister.”
“Nope, I’m not remembering any of this. The bit with the kissing does seem a little familiar though. Maybe if we could do something to jog my memory?”
Jade gives you a sly look. “I know what you’re up to mister. You want me to kiss you, right? Guess what? It’s not going to happen. You don’t even remember me! To you, I’m no different than any other girl you could meet on the street! I’m a stranger to you, and I do not kiss strangers Dave, sorry to disappoint you.”
“That is probably the dumbest thing I have ever heard.”
“Tough luck. Now let’s see if we can get you some hospital food, huh?”
“Yeah, okay. You’re a hard woman Jade...”
“Harley. My name’s Jade Harley, and you’re Dave Strider.”
“Thanks. You think eating hospital pudding with just my tongue is ironic enough, or should I ask for chopsticks?”
She laughs.
Your name is Dave Strider, you suppose, and you are so glad that she’s your girlfriend, because you think you might be falling in love with this girl.

Edited 2014-07-10 18:37 (UTC)

FILL: TEAM ARADIA<3SOLLUX, T

fish_princess - 2014-07-13 07:48 (UTC) - Expand

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