being an adult is just saying to yourself “this is the weekend i’ll clean my [x]” and then proceeding to not do that because it’s the weekend and you deserve to relax, goddamnit

Really hate how “mommy and daddy issues” just a jab at the child and not the parent

$1,000,000 deposited into your bank account every day for the rest of your life or sex with Jafar?

not to sound like the friend that's too woke but why does this police station toyset for a 5yr old need a weapons safe full of tiny toy-sized automatic rifles. just asking.

i just downloaded and tried out roblox and I dont get what the point is

12 years old: i was so cringe when i was nine, i'm super mature now though

15 years old: i was so cringe when i was twelve, i'm super mature now though. i'm a totally different person. i'm basically an adult

18 years old: i was so. (trying to be nicer to myself) fifteen. when i was fifteen. i wasn't an adult even a little back then. i'm an adult now though of course

21 years old: i was so newborn fawn taking its first steps when i was 18. i wasn't an adult at 18 i'm barely even an adult now tbh

23 years old: i was so. hey wait the others have all gone up in increments of three why'd it change

23 years old: because i'm still 23 so i can't speak to that experience yet

23 years old: do you think anything will magically change in the next few months to the point where you can't possibly imagine how you'll feel at 24

23 years old: i mean you never know. anything can happen. they're letting people born in 2002 turn 24, for instance

the mold spores in my house speaking to me telepathically: yeah that's perfect now hit post

the only thing stronger than the gastric distress i get from eating cherries is my love for eating cherries

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

my dead wife. the ad free internet