.:m e m o i r s:.

Because nearly all my public posts are either 1. Fandom related informational posts, or 2. From approximately 2006, I've decided an up-to-date public post is in order.

I am 23. I have a cat named Nola. I live alone; the rest of my family live in Washington State in the US. I now live in Bundang, South Korea. I currently teach English at a small hagwon; some days, it's the best job ever, and other days it's the worst. I'm still learning.

I love languages: I read French at a near-fluent level, speak Japanese at a fairly smooth conversational level (but can't read worth a damn) and have a very, very basic grasp of Korean. I'm studying Korean on my own now after taking half a term at Hanyang University.

I am diagnosed Manic Depressive, meaning some days I am completely nuts, and other days I am an utter hermit. I also have a pretty severe panic disorder, although an exact diagnosis is currently unknown. I seem to be on a good mix of medication now! I do make posts when I am at pretty much every mood, so this journal is a definite reflection of my spectrum.

I am the first to admit that I've said and done some stupid things in my life. I wouldn't necessarily take them back, because honestly, I learned from them. I grew from them. Who I was 3 or 4 years ago is similar to who I am now, but now I'm a lot more mellow. I upset some people back then, and a lot of them still dislike me for it. I can't say that I'm precisely sorry for upsetting them, but I can say it wasn't my intention. I don't go out of my way to piss people off; but part of being human is, in fact, exactly that. So I apologize for being a snot at times, but hey. I challenge anyone to say they never did stupid shit when they were 17.

In the past four years, I have learned several things: patience (which was hard,) modesty (which was harder,) and that unless I really, really, really have to, it's usually best to just shake my head and scroll on by. Sometimes I forget these; I'm a work in progress.

If you friend me, I would hope that you're here not just for fandom flail, or not just to make that number on your "mutual friends" list get a little bit bigger. I'd like to think you're here for me, and for the things I have to say here. If you're not, well. Whatever you think is best for you.

If I friend you back, know that I am reading. I may not comment (I'm pretty terrible at commenting, really) but I'm reading. I'm listening. I friended you because I wanted to know you a little bit better.

This post is public because I want people to understand that people change. People grow up. People make mistakes. This journal is a record of how I've grown from a very angry 15 year old, to a very lonely 16 year old, to a very anxious 17 year old, to a very volatile 18 year old, to a very awkward 19 year old, to a very proud 20 year old, a more self-aware 21 year old, and a fresh 22 year old. I am changed by every single person who reads or comments or engages with me, and I thank you all for it.

これからもよろしくお願いします。

[nitty-gritty]
This is my journal. I will say what I feel here, because it's my space to do exactly that. I may rant, I may rave, I may be completely random. Sometimes all three at once. Please be aware that almost all the public posts visible here are from a very, very long time ago. Like everyone on the internet, I said and thought stupid things. I like to think we've collectively grown up since then.

That said, you should know three important things about me.
1. I'm atheist. Don't know what that means? Look it up.
2. I'm diagnosed with both Manic Depressive Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (and apparently in the last three years, General Anxiety Disorder.) Don't know what those are? Look them up.
3. I'm bi-sexual. Don't know what that means? Look it up.

I refuse to censor myself. It's my journal, okay?

[how this works]
You friend me, then comment here telling me you've done so. A reason for WHY you've friended me is nice, but not required. I will friend you back hopefully in less than two weeks. I don't always spot comments right away. ^^;;;

[in the unlikely event]
If I haven't friended you back after a month? Please don't expect me to. I like making friends, but if I think things won't... work, then I won't add you.

I'm going to be perfectly honest here. I friend people who's journals I want to read; if reading your LJ gives me a headache from trying to sort through poor grammar/chatspeak/way too many punctuation marks/utter LACK of punctuation marks/obscenely large bright pink text, etc., then seriously. Don't friend me. Please.

If I defriended you and you want to be added back? I'm sorry, but I defriended you on purpose.

[filters]
I now post using filters. They are:
1. Real Life (in which there is talking about school, work, friends, and whatever thoughts and moods I am currently in the middle of.)

2. Fandom (Arashi mostly, sometimes other fandoms that spring up.)

Please let me know which filters you would like to be on in your comment.

If you are here for my writing, please friend abscondpress instead! All works are posted unlocked there!

Friendly reminder to all you lovely, beautiful people: I'm on dreamwidth, also honooko! Add me there. I'm unfortunately no more active there than here really, but I do still sometimes post. AND, abscondpress is there and more updated than on here!

So: NEW FIC IS ON DREAMWDITH AND ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN! FOR DIFFERENT FANDOMS EVEN!

I love you all and miss you bunches. <3

RIGHT SO.

I am officially leaving LJ. Basically it boils down to LJ being asshats and I refuse to put up with it anymore. Dreamwidth has made importing journals so painfully easy I had no excuse anymore, and they are rolling out a comm importing feature in the near future, so abscondpress, falseicon and several other comms are coming with me. I may cross-post here on occasion, but I will primarily be on Dreamwidth.

Dreamwidth has, for the next ten days, totally free registration instead of invite codes, so GO and make one. Move with us. If we as a fandom(s) relocate our comms, then fandom comes too. Let's stick together. Let's GET THE HELL OFF THIS SINKING SHIP, AMIRITE.

So, yep. I'm honooko @ DW. JOIN ME. There may be porn. :|b

T-this may come as a shock to some of you, but I am actually a huge nerd.

I KNOW, I KNOW. IT'S DIFFICULT TO BELIEVE. I UNDERSTAND IF YOU NEED TO TAKE A SECOND JUST TO COME TO TERMS WITH THIS LIFE-ALTERING REVELATION.

Finished? Okay, awesome.

Animemories: A Podcast
Remember that series you watched in real media player when you were 13? And how awesome it was? This podcast is about revisiting those series' and deciding if they really deserved the affection we had for them. Good plot? Good characters? Or were you just easy to please?

First episode: Inuyasha 1-50!

Download the .wav here. 232.6 MB, 23 minutes.

Yes, there will be more. Please comment if you take it, I want to know your thoughts ON YAOI.

ATTENTION!

If you have received an email from me with the subject line something like "check out my girlfriend's self-video!" do not open the email. I opened it after getting it from a friend (but did not click the enclosed link) and just opening the email spread it to me.

If you opened it, change your password and log out of your account. Run a virus scan.

Sorry for the trouble. =_=

RE: readywithmusic.

Just to clarify some things, as a kind flister expressed concern that I'm stepping on toes: readywithmusic was not created to be competition with stillness_storm.

I have been a member of, and participant in, stillness_storm since its creation. I have and will continue to participate in challenges when I am able (hell, I just did this week.) It's a good comm that's been around the block a few times, and it's still going and still producing fantastic icons.

readywithmusic was created for a handful of reasons:

1. The first and biggest is that in every fandom I have been in before Arashi, there were at least four icontests which meant that I could make and submit icons all over the place. I am not, and never will be, cut out for LIMS contests, and stillness_storm is the only other active Arashi icontest I'm aware of.

2. stillness_storm is a stillness contest. readywithmusic will allow animated icons for specific challenges (I am still deciding whether every-other-challenge will work or not.)

3. There are aspects of stillness_storm that I would change, if I ran it. But since it's rude and unreasonable to suggest someone change the way their community is run, especially in ways that would make more work for the mods, I decided it would be better to make my own, run the way I would run it, and let that be that.

4. readywithmusic, as I mentioned above, is run differently. It allows 3 icons, to raise the entry count. I use a voting method that prevents icons from placing in more than one slot. Icons can, however, place in both the normal running, and a special category, as I think that certain icons deserve first AND 'best ____'. I will be handicapping my own entries in two ways: docking myself points automatically to lower my chances of placing, and should I place, I will not enter the next week's challenge.

As stated, these differences are things I did not feel I had any right suggesting to stillness_storm, as they change the structure of the community significantly.

I don't believe that readywithmusic will 'steal' iconmakers from stillness_storm, because iconmakers make icons. It shouldn't matter how many icontests there are; if you can make 2, you can make 5. We have different challenges, different deadlines, and different systems. We are different communities.

So please; take a look at stillness_storm AND readywithmusic. Join the challenges that inspire you. Vote for the icons that impress you. This isn't a popularity contest; this is just an attempt at opening up some new space for additional creativity. ♥

PS: I would really love to affiliate with stillness_storm, if they're interested? I need to send another PM, I think my first one gotten eaten...

Post is public!

WHOEVER WROTE MY JE HOLIDAY FIC IS AWESOME.

I love it! THEATER! Dancing! OHMIYA! Sho's relief! AIBA AND TERRIBLE FOOD. Jun in charge! fjdshkjhjkfhkds. Everyone just go read it right now, okay. You won't regret it.

THANK YOU, ANON-SAN! ♥

To people in US (and possibly Canada,)

I found out last night that an old and dear friend, Rob, was diagnosed at the end of July with an aggressive T-cell Lymphoma. Rob needs a bone marrow transplant to survive, and no one in his family is a match.

Rob is one of those people you just like. He's friendly and reliable. I have a voicemail on my phone that I have saved since December 31st, 2005, wishing me a happy new year. Rob is on the list of my big-brothers-who-aren't. And he is dying. He's 23.

Please, please. Visit Rob's site and find out if you are a bone marrow match. You might be the one to save his life.

ATTENTION ALL PACIFIC NORTHWEST RESIDENTS EXPERIENCING THE HEAT WAVE!

A large part of our region is on extreme heat alert. This means that some areas will be experiencing weather 92F~100F or higher over the coming week.

We're not used to this kind of weather, so I just want everyone to be really careful. I was born in Phoenix, and they taught me about heat exhaustion and heat stroke when I was a wee little thing. All of these are very dangerous conditions that should be watched for in yourself and in others. All of these conditions can cause confusion, meaning someone may be experiencing them without realizing it.

HEAT EXHAUSTION
Symptoms
* Heavy sweating
* Paleness
* Muscle cramps
* Fatigue
* Weakness
* Dizziness
* Headache
* Nausea/vomiting
* Fainting

If you are experiencing several of these symptoms, get out of the heat immediately. Go inside, ideally somewhere with AC. Drink some water (slowly!) or an electrolyte-rich sports drink and place a cool compress on the back or your neck or forehead. Lie down if you can. Heat exhaustion can easily lead to heat stroke, so be careful.


HEAT STROKE
Symptoms
* Same as Heat Exhaustion, only severe
* High body temp
* LACK of sweating (meaning you have officially run out of hydration)
* Red, flushed skin
* Rapid pulse
* Difficulty breathing
* Neurological symptoms (confusion, disorientation, hallucinations, agitation, strange behavior)
* Seizures
* Coma

Heat stroke is a serious medical emergency. If you see someone who may be experiencing heat stroke, call 911 immediately, as it can be fatal.


HYPONATREMIA (TOO MUCH WATER!)
Symptoms
* Confusion
* Lethargy
* Agitation
* Seizures
* Coma

Too much water can actually be fatal. Water is not a substance your body can absorb straight; it needs electrolytes like sodium, potassium, chloride, calcium and phosphate in order to process it. In hyponatremia, you lack enough electrolytes to take in the water, and the water basically poisons you. This condition is rare, and usually occurs when athletes drink too much water, but it can happen to people during extreme heat waves as well. Drink water, but also consider alternating glasses of water with Gatorade. Eat a banana; they're full of potassium. If you see someone who may be experience hyponatremia, call 911 immediately, as it can be fatal.


MOST IMPORTANTLY!
Please, please keep an eye on the people around you. These conditions often cause confusion, meaning the victim may not realize they are in trouble. If you see someone acting oddly or showing some of these symptoms, please stop and ask them if they're okay. There is unfortunate phenomena called the Bystander Effect: when in a group, people are less likely to offer help or aid to someone in need because they assume someone else will. This is not the case. If something seems off, don't walk away. Follow your gut; you just might save someone's life.

Feel free to link to this post, so others can be on alert!