All my thoughts

How did you spend summers when you were a kid?

I spent my summers playing in the park whilst my mother sunbathed on the grass, I would have feast icecreams and play with my skipping rope.  I would carry around dolls and have pretend picnics with them.  I would play with my basketball and wash my mothers car with my step dad.  We would go to the beach and stay at familys houses.   

hello hello

ah well my weekend was alright. 

friday i got high. ah i want to do it again. chill ooot.

saturday jade came over with bacardi breezers. we chilled and watched some movies. damn how i love that girl.

oh yeah i also want to go for a starbucks again. last monday was the last time i had one. mmmm it was good! 

yesterday i went to the ortho. they said i could either have my brace taken off or have elastics. so i opted for elastics which i now wish i hadnt because they are just painful. and i do really want to get rid of the brace. so anyway she said let me try the elastics til next time i go back and then i can get them off if i dont want to bother with them. which i dont. so i now am having my brace removed in JANUARY. woohoo! :D 

i just watched the film closer. it is such a wicked film. never bores me. 

um oh yeah. i totally messed up my knitting. so now i may aswell start again or unravel it. but now its gone wrong i cba with it. 

disco tomorrow lols woooooooooooo? :| 

oh yeah another thing i have to do my coursework now. how fun. it's due in on friday. the first draft. what a crock of shit. 

ta-ra fare thee well.

I found a video of me as a little bub and ma daddy. That video is now probably the most important thing to me. I didn't even know that footage existed. It shows my dad kissing me about 3 times. And him making me wave to the video camera. And he's smiling. I don't hardly remember what he looks like. I had only two photographs of him, but now I have this video! I need to find him so badly. I think about it every single day. If I had him in my life I would be such a different person. I HAVE to find him. And I have no idea where to start........

this is the view from the trampoline of clares nans house where we spent a week during the summer. it was great. 



that trampoline is the one where when jade and i were at clares mums wedding, we jumped on it drunk and shouted LEZBAN!!!!!! heheheheheh funny times.

hey thursday was relly cool
it was jadeys bday <3
she spent the day in london with clare and jane
then i went over hers about six
along with lala clare steph jess and harley
it was all unplanned
and jade was there already when i got there
but itwas cute because her dad had made us all food
and bought us alcohol
so ya
we all got quite drunk/tipsy
i stayed over hers, along with lala and clare
stpeh and jess went home about 12
jess was bloody dry riding harley!!! next to clare on the sofa
lol it was gross
we missed sugar rush :(
but i get the jist of whats happening i think
ah well

friday woke up
had breakfast with lala and jan
speical k lol was nice
talked
jade came down
then clare
then we went hooome
i had abath or something idk cant remember
ben and kayleigh came over
started drinking at 11.30ish pm lol!!!!
had like a whole bottle and a half of wine!!!!
was so drunk
then slept next to ben?? woke up in the night went in my bed with clare

saturday morning woke up
it was my birthdaaaayyyyyyyyy
17th lol
then....... i had a shower
got to jades
went sainsburys
got bbq stuff
jack came over
clare come over
went to pick her up
jade had put up little signs
on her front door
and windows
saying happy bday lauren 17th today or whatever
:D was so cute
then lala came over
and jane
and jacks mates
and steph and jess
yeaaaaaa
was so fun
altrhough jane seemed a bit bored and left at 9ish
dont blame her because as she said not her usual crowd
then we partied on til 1am lol
the boys went home
lala and me slept in one room
jade and clare int he other
topless titties lol
hmmm yesssssssssssssssss
thinks.......

today i got up
needed a drink so badlt
wnet home
chilled with clare
missing big brother at teh mo how lame am i
so i am going to go
bens here again and kayleigh
ben asked if i wanted some beer
then asked if i wanted some wine
nah because i drank the past three nights
and ya
anyway bye xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

friday clare and i were up at about 8. got ready for stines party. jade got here. then larissa. i was in the bath. jane and luke got here. clare was in the bath. we got ready and walked to stineys. it was so good, really fun at stines. kareen came over she was up at her window a few doors away it was cute lol. larissa and jade left. then jane and luke. so me and clare decided to get lee to come get us and we went and slept over his again. sidney was there that time. and we played nervous then i ran up and got the bed before lee could. then i wouldnt let clare come into bed but i dont remember that point sooo oops. sorry clare.

woke up was like, what the hell. felt really dodgy. lee drove us home. i had a bath. clare went to work. i watched big brother. clare got back and slept. got ready and went over jades. got to jades, larissa was there, brad, jack, stacey and hagger. was cool, sat in the garden for a bit til it got too cold. steph and jess turned up too but soon left. then we all decided to go to bed so brad hagger and stacey left. jack and jade went to bed. me and larissa ;) haha. and clare in the other single bed. slept was quite hot, woke up a few times.

got up when jade went to work about 8.30. watched eastenders, big brother and saw ross kemp in boxers corrrrrrr was soo good. he left eastenders waaaa :( i am quite upset about that lol. sunbathed. lol i like someone..... i think....... but its a secret for now until i know more..... hmmmmm...........

but yeah one thing i can take off my mind now is having to be careful around matt. because he spoke to me and was talking about his "lover" as he liked to call her. then he was like yeah "im sorry for stringing you along all this time and messing you around." etc not exact wording but hey whatever. then he started saying how he'd spoken to her about "us" and they both thought it was best to tell me about them? there was no "us" with me and matt anyway because we broke up nearly a year ago lol. i just dont randomly pull people/get around/interested in anyone unless its a proper relationship and i havent met anyone who i really want a relationship with anyway so it seems like i was waiting for him. im not going to deny i still dont like him i do but yeah he was basically saying he thought there was an "us" but i dont see how that works out as i saw him like once every 2/3 months. even though stuff he'd said on msn to me thats not really classed as any kind of relationship i dont think. so anyway he asked if i had a problem with anyone we both knew and if he were to date them/go out with them. i was thinking who could it be. and i said i'd rather not know about it and all that. but he said if i found out from my mates when i was drunk, i might get upset over it, because he thought i would do that, so i was like ok sure just tell me now then if you have to and i know her/know people who know her. so yeah he said it was savannah my first reaction was to laugh because thats who i thought it was, i hope he doesnt go to her though and says i found it funny or anything though because she is an alright person. so yeah i just said hope it goes well for them and stuff. i just hope he hasnt spoke to her and said anything weird that i dont know about "us" because i didnt even know there was an "us" and yerrrrrrrrrrrrr he must have made out that what we speak about on msn is like a big deal. :S

but tomorrow its my mums day off. in the morning i plan to sunbathe yet again. with her. then go to college at 2ish. for alans lesson. then idk what im doing in the evening. hopefully something as otherwise it is just lame.

tuesday meeting sma to go to the y again

wednesday i have a dentist apointment, getting a filling and check up. then youth thing.

thursday jades birthday. bless............ :D

friday exam i think? i know i have one this week. and then idk what im doing friday night.

saturday my birthday. woo :| hmm havent got anything planned yet. ideas??????

feel like getting stoned........... mer might buy some this week if i can ask jack. its like £20 though and i wont smoke that much worth. idk.

bedtime now anyway. its like 3am :\ xo

i got up at 8 was on the bus at 9 got to college late for exam liek 9.35 instead of 9.30 so i was like ah fudge. walked in and i was still allowed to do the exam, was all good.

went to town at 10 stayed around

12ish saw brad etc went to snowday in the suuuuun and sunbathed :D

i am burnt it hurts ouch oh and my face has red patches it is actually silly.

then went clares

then somerfields

then home

then youth group

then home

then chris' car

then lees house

then lees car

then home

then diary

now bed

umm thursday went into town with south african jane and met jane jade clare (kareen and sharon for a bit ) jack and brad we sat in central it was nice :):):) we went on the waltzers as the fair was there, man it killed my neck! but it was funny hehehe we sang to "man i feel like a woman" and it was hilarious..... we were waiting in the seat thing for the ride to start and we heard the intro to the song and we all just turned to each other and go "LETS GO GIRLS!" and started dancing hahahaha. awwww memories. that song played in the last year 11 assembly at school.

fridya went out to janes house yay always love it there just nice to be in and music and drink and chats and stuff. 

then went to basketball courts. got a call from warren. 

sat outside the cave for a bit waiting for warren and his mates. then we went to reds with S.A. jane. 

got mega drunk so bad. all i remember is dancing on the dancefloor and all these old men grinding up against us. 

i don't even remember getting with warren! who i must add is this tall, mega big. black man. so he called me the next day and i asked what happened and he said. we kissed and hugged and i ran off with jane, he couldnt find me for ages and he was all like "wheres lauren wheres lauren" then he found me and wouldnt let me go and was like "ah im safe im safe" when he told me that i was like........ oh.......... no................... gross...............

dont remember coming home or any of the night at reds for that matter. apparently we went and got chips then got a taxi but idk got home around 3am according to clare. i woke up in bed next to jane and clare thinking "what..... the........?" lmao. she had to tell me what happened.

clares asleep and she got back from america yesterday, shes been asleep since 5pm yesterday and its now 1.35pm.

went to larissas a few days ago and slept over with jade, steph and jane. was good. some guy called harley was there with steph til about midnight. would have been nice for him not to have been there so long so we could have chatted some more or whatever but still its nice that they are getting on so well.

went to lizzies party thing, i really need to go on my pieloz account on msn and message her thanking her for inviting us, i really appreciate it. it was good and nice to hang out, i wasnt really in the mood though and it was a bit rushed getting ready/going there, i didnt like my alcohol, everyone was drinking/talking to each other about relationships or coupling off, i didnt have much to say so i seemed a bit "off" maybe but still i had a good time.

oh clare got me some purdy stuff from america, disney princess cookies :D a tinkerbell lollypop which is quite huge and round, really cute its green and yellow :) anddddd a melon corpse bride lipgloss. awwww tahnks again clare if you read this at all.

im falling in love with tesco down the road to me its so good...... they sell fresh single chocolate donuts for 50p, i can see myself getting fat, they are sooooo yuummy.

im hungry......CLARES STILL ASLEEP ITS 2PM aaaaaaahhhhh.

xo