My Innermost Whatever

wrote these for my roomie's kids. enjoy!

There once was a fellow named Victor
Who owned a small boa constrictor.
It grew and it grew
'Till it stood 10 foot 2,
Then it swallowed it's master. Poor Victor.

A young boy who often ate paste
Would claim that he "just liked the taste"
Then one day he sniffed glue
Just to try something new.
He lived, but his mind went to waste.*

*FACT: paste is a "gateway" adhesive! Maybe!

The nose of a boy a called Clyde
Had become a bit crusty inside
When picked with a finger
Biotics did linger
That spread to Clyde's brain and he died.

as promised, here are a few pics of my pal Kewpie... breed unknown, although I'm assuming she's at least part wookie.



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My roomie's three year old daughter Dominique just now became irate with a radio station playing Default, then picked out a station playing Herman's Hermits for us to listen to. My kinda girl.

my band's playing The Rendezvous on the 25th of this month, just in case amyone was interested!

i guess i may have gotten a new dog today.

a friend of the family had taken in a big ol' skinny stray and her pup and tried to locate the owners. no such luck. they gave away the pup, and unless someone comes forward to claim the dog, i can keep her. i didn't really want another dog just yet... but... she's awfully sweet.

okay, is this the kind of conversation you people have with YOUR parents, or are mine just special?

my dad was watching some program with that contortionist who pops his arms out of their sockets and struggles through an unstrung tennis racket. occasionally i do a bit of contortionism as a party trick or to gross people out or whatever, and one trick that i happen to be capeable of is... you guessed it... dislocating my arms. anyway, i chose that stupid moment to walk into the room.

DAD: Could you do that?

ME: Uhhhmmm... no.

DAD: But you can pop your arms out of your sockets, right?

ME: And yet I harbor no desire to squeeze myself through a tennis racket. Go figure.

DAD: But you're skinnier than that guy. it would be easy.

(this is true -- i'm a touch on the skeletal side, wheras that guy was small but pretty buff. anyway, at this point my mother gets in on the wierdness)

MOM: Oh! I bet she could!

ME: Hahaha... yeah right. and how do i explain the tennis racket caught around my waist to my friends?

(at this point, they both rush in with variations on "Well, we'd be there! we'd help you out if you needed it!")

ME: Whoa! wait... are we actually considering this?

ha -- fricking surreal. i mean... they were seriously ready to rip the strings out of a racket right then and there! don't most peoples' parents try to DIScourage that kind of thing? anyway, i finally got my Christmas shopping done today... or at least all the shopping for people i'm going to see before Christmas. i still have to get something for Kelsey (damn him for becoming one of my best friends THIS close to Christmas!), but i won't see him 'till the 27th. Season's Beatings to the lot of ya!

well -- our gig got cancelled... so anyone who was planning on showing up at the nest? errrmmmm... don't. PLEASE don't hold it against us though, it really wasn't our fault. we're gonna reschedule as soon as we can.

hmmm... strange day. my brain just doesn't want to function properly. his collar was hanging around a doorknob, and when i opened the door this morning it jingled, and for an instant i really did expect to see a leggy mass of graying curls standing in his customary "Good Morning Jett" spot.

i've gone to throw a treat into his dish three times today and had to stop myself.

everyone who lives here 'cept me took off for Vancouver today and it's absurdly empty... still... everyone seems to think i should get a new puppy RIGHT AWAY. and i hate the idea. i don't even want a pup... i want an animal that really NEEDS me. puppies are easy to find homes for, and they're silly. i just want an ugly ol' loveable mutt with a few years experience. i guess the idea that maybe an underdog can prevail and be happy appeals to me... being a bit of an underdog myself. anyway, yeah, it's lonely here, but i need time. i can't stand the idea of having a new dog right now.

i went out jamming with Kelsey tonight. that was alright. we tried auditioning a drummer, but he sucked. we have four more to audition though. one of 'em's gotta be good, right? particularly since Kelsey and i are on this great creative kick...

i missed the sound of wagging tail so much when i got home.

my dog just died. i don't know what happened. he was fine... he even seemed to be in really good shape for a dog his age. then, we just found him dead.

he was an awesome dog. i'll miss him.

i just remembered it's bestbuddyiwis's birthday today! hope you have a good one!

and in other news, Betty Machete has a few candidates for both bassist and drummer, so hopefully we will have a complete lineup soon. things are moving at an incredible pace between Kelsey and myself, so if we can land a nice tight rythem section, we should probably be primed to play gigs early in the new year.