I love it when a classicist has clearly gotten so lost in the BCE sauce that their perception of time has become deeply warped. Case in point: the article I’m currently reading just described the Byzantine era as “a period relatively modern.”
Stop that’s too funny
objectively, they're right
Yes, come on in!
Yes, yes, come in to my cabin, watch your step please.
You Have A Lovely Hombe
Thank you, Horace. Sit, make yourself at hombe. Or would you like to play a game of Billiards in my special room over here?
Oh I Just Love To Play Balls
We’ll get along splendidly, then.
Some wine?
Oh Enough Chit-Chat And Lets Talk Creams.
Go on.
Well I Just Love Creams. Well They Taste Good. And. Oh The Texture An-
…
*All pretense and friendly affect is dropped, eyes fixing coldly on the boar*
*Advances*
Well I Simply Knew All A Long
*And Horace Delivers A Series Of Funny Kicks And Rageful SMACKS To The Assailant’s Solar Plexus And Hip Bones*
Hm Hm Hm That Aought To Teach You Scoundrel
*Horace Turns His Handsome Snout To Face YOU*
Rememboar: Dont Go In A Strangor’s House Or Something I Forget
yeah i like to give my blessing to the most pathetic looking weak little knight at the tournament. she can’t even look me in the eye when i give her my flower and she stutters out that she’ll do her best or something of the like. i think its funny when she has to cry and beg my forgiveness and i get to say “such a shame, i suppose my hand in marriage will have to go to someone else…” and then i get to hear her whimper like a dog. ive done this like 6 times alrea-
did she just win.
I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!
wait wait wait stew goblin wait
get ready for the wedding
since mrs, ms, and mr are all descended from the latin word magister, i propose the gender neutral version should be mg, short for "mage"
some people think this is a shitpost so i want to clarify that i am dead fucking serious. make mage the official gender neutral honorific NOW. i want it on my passport. i want it on my bank account. i want doctors and judges to use it for me. i don't care if it sounds a little silly. people thought "missus" sounded crass at first. call me mg.
benefits of mg:
drawbacks:
Sometimes the rats in my brain come together and start yelling “YEARNING” and in trying to appease them I ask “FOR WHAT” but they are too small so all they can say is “YEARNING” which is a very big word for such a tiny creature, even collectively
I loved this visual so much I had to doodle it.
ratratratratrat
I can’t get over this post. I’ve been quoting it all day.
This morning I woke up and felt like something was wrong and I needed something but didn't know what. Then a bit later I remembered this yearning rats post and it made me feel a bit better to remember that I am not alone in feeling like this sometimes.
The "but" is always the giveaway. They know exactly what they're doing.
"people deserve basic human rights but i simply don't care"
people need to understand more that some disabled people will never be “carbon neutral” or plastic free. A lot of people need plastic or other manufactured goods to STAY ALIVE. “oh we can bare to lose a few more humans on the earth” okay how about the leaders of countries who are responsible for killing millions and damaging the ecosystem beyond repair. How about you think about why you are targeting a minority already so very targeted for something they have very little effect on.
Plastic is actually essential for a shit ton of medical technology/equipment. it's a magical material
someone: the coughing fit i got from puffing and passing kinda bummed me out
me: new fallout boy song just dropped
Not Cute! Sometimes a human will get really engrossed in an activity and forget to eat or drink. This is bad because humans need to drink water throughout the day and also should have three meals per day (and access to snacks). If one of your humans seems to be forgetting to eat or drink, it is very important to remind them to do so.
when you see a Good post, you can say "HEEHO" when the post is Bad, the post is "wawoo"
Wawoo
shut the fuck up
Fictional country: average fantasy
Fictional small town in the middle of nowhere in real country: par for the course in any genre
Fictional major city in real country: standard fair, but it's usually clearly based on a real city
Fictional suburb of real major city in real country: strange but I can see the application
Real major city in fictional country: Chicago can be anywhere you dream of
people at the grocery store sometimes do a visible double-take about how many vegetables I'm buying. they look at me probably thinking wow she's so healthy! it's ok that she's also buying donuts! she's earned them!
you fools. all the produce is for my pet pig. I'm eating donuts for dinner.
an older woman actually stopped me once and told me I must be a great cook because I was just throwing random vegetables in my cart based on price. she was like "gosh! I would need a recipe to know what to do with all of those!"
i do have a recipe. it's very simple:
ingredients: vegetable
step 1: throw it on the ground.
The number of people responding to this post claiming to be bodhisattvas is hilarious. If you'd resolved your karma you wouldn't be on tumblr.
A warlord asked his teacher, a great monk, what he would do in his next lifetime.
“Oh,” he said, “I think I will spend a few lifetimes on Tumblr, most likely.”
The warlord was astonished. “Your merit and virtue are renowned far and wide!” he responded. “Why on earth would you be condemned to Tumblr?”
“If I did not post on Tumblr,” his teacher responded, “who would be your mutual?”
