Living Genderqueer

ATTENTION: EPICENE PRONOUN USERS

Hello! I am conducting a short non-scholarly study on epicene (gender-neutral) pronoun usage. I will be using these results to help me develop and publish a pamphlet on epicene pronouns for my university's GLBTQQIA resource center geared towards members of the queer community who are not familiar with them. Once produced, it will be available to others who are interested upon request.

All information is anonymously provided; you will not be asked for any information that could identify you.

If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact me at abarre at emich dot edu. Thank you again for your participation!

Additionally, if you're a member of any related communities/forums/etc where you think this would be relevant, please feel free to repost! Thank you!

Survey for epicene pronoun users

I apologize if you see this a few times, I'm posting to related communities that I am a member of.

Name: Liam. Not legally yet.
Age: 21
Transition status: pre-everything, but I plan on name-changing very soon and am actively searching for doctors to get me on T
Preferred pronouns: male. Though I'm down with that combo of "them" and the male pronouns. So confused people can pretend they're referring to me as "them/they/their" just in case. But, if people know that I'm trans, I expect them to at least TRY to remember male pronouns
Are you 'out'? Basically. The fam' knows, a few of my friends know, and if people are like, "lol are u a tranny?" I reply with "lol yeah why"
Your ways of 'living genderqueer': I honestly just try to get through the day without going insane.
Like, I'm a transman. I'm male. But, I'm effeminate and predominately male. So people are like, "Well so you're still a girl then?"
Well no, so I'm an effeminate gay man. :\
Future plans: Get on T, get the name changed within 12 months hopefully. I know both can be a lengthy process, but I just want to know that I will be making progress.

I might get chest surgery before that stuff, if my county decides to be slow. I take out student loans for living expenses so I can concentrate on school rather than work, so if I can spare $5-6k, I might go for it.

I don't plan on bottom surgery except for a hysto, because not only am I genderqueer, I have no interest in sex. At all. So, as long as it does what it needs to to keep my body running, I'm cool with it. XD

And I want to get all of this stuff settled BEFORE I start med school, just because there's discrimination even in the educated, informed field of medicine, and I don't want a hospital to not hire me because oh dear, his name is (girl name) and he has boobs and facial hair. -_-

SO YEAH. HI FOLKS. I know some of you. 8D *hi-fives*

At work they know me as a girl. At school they know me as a guy.

Is this just asking for complete disaster? I would prefer my coworkers to know me as male too, but it just didn't work out that way...has anyone else been in a similar situation? Any thoughts?

Okay, here's the problem. I would like to live as an androgynous male (or just male, that would work), but I have GIGANTIC BREASTS. I cannot hope to pass because of them; even binding doesn't do much good unless I wear like a trillion layers and slouch a lot. But I have a male name, and will be telling people to use male pronouns...

I'm just worried that I am going to be so obviously bio-female that something awful is going to happen...or almost worse, people will just disregard it, call me "she", and I'll have to start all over.

Any tips? Advice? Suggestions? How do you deal with getting called out?

Name: Meldrick, or Mel for short
Age: 18
Transition status: I haven't had any surgery or hormones.
Preferred pronouns: He, him, and his mostly.  I do like gender neutral pronouns but I find they confuse most people so I kinda gave up. I'm not a fan of "she" unless it's by a select few individuals.
Gender presentation: masculine most days.  it ranges from looking like a bio-male to looking like a transguy to looking like a dyke.
Are you 'out'? yes I'm out to most people. my extended family doesn't know and neither do some of my family's friends.
Your ways of 'living genderqueer': I strive to be myself regardless of what gender stereotype it seems.  I feel that I am a combination of male and female, or something in between, or maybe I'm just some third gender. I don't know.  I often just tell people I'm FTM. I actually identify as FTM/genderqueer or something.  I feel like most times I lean more towards the male side of the spectrum.  Idealy I would like to just be like "I'm androgyne! what's it to ya!?" but instead I tell people I'm male because they don't understand androgyne and I'm worried about being harrassed.  Yeah, I get harrassed for saying i'm FTM but not nearly as much as i do when I tell people I'm androgyne.
Future plans: I plan on getting top surgery and my name and gender legally changed. I also plan to go on testosterone.  I don't want bottom surgery.

Well I suddenly took a look at the info and--holy crap!--there are members! So I think maybe we should do some introducing?

As said in the info, I'm Ian...18, usually FTM, pre-everything. I want top surgery for sure. Probably not hormones, and not a phalloplasty (too expensive, I don't really like penises, whatever). I prefer male pronouns but actually I'm cool with anything except 'she'.

Right now the issues I'm dealing with is going to college. I'm out to my parents (they are not happy) and my "preferred name" has been added to the school records, but it's up to me to talk to my instructors about pronouns. The thing is, my parents were around when I met the landlady, so she's calling me "she", and I don't really pass 100%, including not at the jobs I've applied for (though they do know me as Ian, which I guess is a start).

So what do I do? Advice? Also feel free to post your own intros.