Hello We Are Rats

A black and white illustration made to look inky and watercolor like. there's a black silhouette of a tree with a branch, and a noose hanging from it. There's a mostly blurred out image where a body would hang. There are words on the image that read: They are not doing this to themselves.

Stop ruling it suicide and actually investigate more throughly.

hellowearerats hello we are rats CW CW violence against Black people CW lynching

A two panel comic, where the page is divided in half by a grey line running vertically down the center. The comic features two rats: a brown rat on the left and a light orange rat on the right. there are two black ovals underneath the images. The left one says "Me" and the right one says "Also Me." Each oval has an arrow pointing to the corresponding Orange Rat. In the first panel (left side of the page), the brown rat is holding two little gadgets—one in each hand. A third gadget is lying on the ground in front of it. The orange rat has its hands up holding it's head and is looking confused and overwhelmed. Rat 1 (Brown Rat): ... and then there's Part B and Part C. Rat 2 (Orange Rat): Wait, wait! I forgot what Part A was... Rat 1: This is Part A. Rat 2: And that is Part B? Rat 1: Yes, and Part C... Rat 2: Sorry! Pause! ... which one is Part A again? In the second panel (right side of the page), the orange rat looks surprised, has an exclamation mark over it's head, and is holding a hand up. Rat 1: So I really don't like those... Rat 2: WAIT! But six years ago in September while we were eating ice cream, you said that you really did like them, so now I'm confused. So you don't like them, or you do, or it's complicated?

A single panel comic featuring two rats: a brown rat on the left and a light orange rat on the right. The brown rat is holding two little gadgets—one in each hand. A third gadget is lying on the ground in front of it. The orange rat has its hands up holding it's head and is looking confused and overwhelmed. Rat 1 (Brown Rat): ... and then there's Part B and Part C. Rat 2 (Orange Rat): Wait, wait! I forgot what Part A was... Rat 1: This is Part A. Rat 2: And that is Part B? Rat 1: Yes, and Part C... Rat 2: ... I forgot what Part A is again already, but I'll still remember this convo in twenty years...

Heeelp… 🫠

hellowearerats hello we are rats short term memory long term memory

A five panel comic featuring two rats. The rat on the left is grey, and the rat on the right is blue. Both rats are visibly in distress throughou the comic. Both rats are shaky. Panel 1: The blue rat turns and has an exclamation above it's head as it notices the grey rat looking distressed. It says, "Yes. It scares me when your feelings are big." Panel 2: The blue rat sits down facing the grey rat, reaching an arm out towards the grey rat. It says, "It scares me because I want to fix it and make things better, but I don't think I can." Panel 3: The blue rat lays it's chin on top of the grey rat's head and holds onto it's face. It says, "I'm afraid of knowing how much you're suffering, and yet not being able to alleviate it." Panel 4: The blue rat still has it's face near the grey rat's. It's right arm is still reached out touching the grey rat's face. It says, "It scares me AND I hope you will still show me your big feelings." Panel 5: The blue rat continues to sit and comfort the grey rat. It says, "We can feel the big feelings together." There's a smaller text that's the blue rat's spoken words. It says, "This must be so hard and scary."

hello we are rats hellowearerats

A single panel comic with two rats. The one on the left is lighter blue and is sitting up, facing the one on the right. The one on the right is greyish blue and white and is laying down, looking overwhelmed. The left rat is saying, "You need help with your inability to function? No problem! Please figure out the steps required to getting the help you can't afford and complete them and we'll be in touch with why we actually can't help you!"

Thanks 🫠…

hellowearerats hello we are rats

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RatGPT

hello we are rats hellowearerats RatGPT prompts from an instagram live stream

A sketchy loose illustration of a rat who's top half is black. The rat has a red eye and has it's face turned upward. The rat is visibly upset. The words read "Being Publicly Mentally Ill." This is the cover for a multi-image comic post by Hello We Are Rats.

A two panel comic with words that are written around the two panels. In the first panel, an upright standing rat is looking at a phone screen. A black speech bubble comes out of the screen with @!?@! and a pointed finger image in it. The rat has a question mark above its head and is blue in the face, looking visibly upset. In the second panel, the rat's upper body has been distorted and is colored black. The white of the rat's eye is now red. An exclamation point has replaced the question mark, and the #!?@! and pointed finger now are on a spread of red. The words for the comic read: Being mentally ill AND an online content creator isn't always pleasant or easy. Sometimes things happen that really affect me negatively, and that taps into wounds or fears that I haven't yet been able to rid myself of.

An expressive illustration of a rat. The rat's head is pointed upwards and the upper body is black. The white of the eye is red, and the rat is visibly stressed and upset. There is a wash of red around the rat. The words read: Yes, my reality is fragile–a stranger's words can destabilize me. My extreme fear of hurting others and causing harm causes me to fixate and ruminate on my actions, thoughts, and feelings. The anxiety and hyper vigilance take over and become consuming. I struggle to trust my own perceptions. I learned early on that no matter my intent, I am malicious. I can logically know certain things are not accurate, but erasing those "truths" that are etched in my soul is another thing.

A black square with white words in the middle that read: and so I get very dysregulated. The word dysregulated is in red.

An illustration of an upset, stressed out rat who's head is turned upward. The upper body of the rat is black, and the white of the rat's eye is red. The rat is sitting in a spotlight, and in the darkness outside of the light there are large, stylized eyes staring towards the rat in the middle. In the spotlight, there are words that read: and it's so much worse if it happens "in front" of others... Outside of the spotlight, there are words that read "I'm being perceived!"

An illustration of a dark, smoke-like rat looming over an upset rat. The dark rat has white irises, and red where the white of the eye is. The rat's hands, ears, and the tip of the tail are red. Greyish smoke surrounds the rat. Around the image reads: Everyone can see just how messed up you are

A dark illustration with a black and white illustrated rat small on the lower center of the piece. Around all this are large, stylized eyes staring at the rat. Around those eyes, it reads: I'm supposed to stay composed. No one should see this. I should have kept it under control. Down the center of the image is a column of red words that read: Am I bad? Am I making mistakes? Are they right? Am I doing this wrong? Am I harming others? Am I hurting others' feelings? I'm doing too much... I'm overreacting. They surely think I'm crazy now. They're going to reject me...

A dark illustration with a black and white rat in the center and many large, stylized eyes surrounding it and looking in at it. The rat has a question mark above it's head, and two sets of word read: "Hey, you're ok" and "You're doing okay"

A dark illustration with a black and white rat in the center and many large, stylized eyes surrounding it and looking in at it. Three sets of word read: "It's not your fault," "I know it's hard," and "Take your time"

A black and white illustration. Most of the image is black, with a black and white rat in the middle. Around the rat reads the words: "You aren't upset with me?" "Aren't bothered with how I communicate?" "Aren't annoyed I couldn't ignore it?" "Aren't frustrated with how sensitive I am?"

A black and white illustration. Most of the image is black, with black and white rats sitting in the middle. They are facing each other with their heads pressed against each other. The one on the left has it's eyes closed, while the one on the right's eyes are open and the rat looks stressed. The left rat says, "No. We're not." "Please trust us with this." "We can handle this."

A black and white and red illustration. Most of the image is black, with black and white rats sitting in the middle. They are facing each other with their heads pressed against each other. The one on the left has it's eyes closed, while the one on the right's eyes are open and red, and the rat looks stressed. Above the rats is a another dark rat looming above. The left rat says, "Trust us." Large red words near the looming rat read "But they've barely seen any of it yet."

I have asked myself multiple times over the last decade whether I can navigate all of -this-… just as I am. Can I show up… like -this- and still somehow succeed? I still don’t have the answer yet. But this recent experience with you all showed me that maybe… maybe it’s possible.

My fear: having meltdowns in public, before strangers. Having my mental illnesses rear their heads and drive me mad close enough to others to have it impact them.

It’s one thing to TELL people about it all. It’s another for them to see it. To feel it.

It was, really, just the tip of the iceberg… but still. You all saw me crumble. And you all wrapped me in kindness and understanding. It felt like maybe… maybe people like me don’t have to hide in the shadows all the time, afraid of the possibility that others might catch a glimpse of the monsters. 💜

hellowearerats hello we are rats mental illness

An illustration featuring a small rat and a large rat. The rats are sitting and facing each other, the small rat on the left and the large one on the right. Their faces are pushed close together and their eyes are red. The big rat's tail is wrapped multiple times around the small rat's body tightly. The big rat is holding the small rat's face. The big rat sort of looms over the small rat. The text says, "You hurt others."

hellowearerats hello we are rats

A four panel comic strip featuring a grey rat holding a heart. The heart has scar marks on it. It reads (across the four panels), "These scars... They aren't pretty. But I love them. They mean I was hurt and bleeding out but through the kindness of others I survived."

🩶🙏

hellowearerats hello we are rats

A bit of disability representation in my art. Reposts of past comics.

A lot of my comics not included here represent disability also. I just choose not to blatantly tie it to it, as I recognize it can represent other experiences for others.

(I’ll come back and input alt text when I have the bandwidth…)

hellowearerats hello we are rats disability disability pride month receipts

On Jimothy, disability, representation in my art, etc:

Ok… let me apologize in advance. Whenever I get to the where point I feel the urge to write out and just brain dump all the everything-in-my-head, I know it’s going to be a LOOONG post. I’m sorry for that. Being succinct feels impossible for me.

The other day, I drew Jimothy fanart. Yes. I did the thing soo many other artists are doing right now: drawing a current ‘celebrity’ animal. And then… I just posted it as is. There were no extra thoughts shared. I just wanted to portray this little raccoon in my art and style and share that with others who currently had learned of Jimothy.

Should I go into detail? (I often don’t in the general public space, and sometimes do on my Patreon for my paid tier members). Seeing especially the videos of baby Jimothy with his mom and siblings has given me a moment of warm fuzzies. His mom is so gentle and caring, helping him in ways she doesn’t have to help his siblings. She carries him carefully as they walk along the top of a tall fence.

I grew up in a very psychologically/emotionally/spiritually abusive household. My mom in particular, whom I am no contact with now, was terrible in so many ways. And as an undiagnosed autistic/adhd/+ queer, POC-in-the-evangelical-white-south kid, I had to survive that environment (along with my siblings).

I often get struck right in the heart when I see things like parents being kind to their kids. Parents being supportive. Understanding. Parents who might struggle with something, but ultimately they decide their love for their kid and their desire for their kid to genuinely thrive is bigger than their struggle. It’s so wonderful to see, and so terrible to see. It hurts so bad, yet I am so happy for those kids.

Also, if you haven’t noticed. I depict a LOT of things using animals (in this case, I mean non-human animals). There’s a reason I choose animals. It’s easier for me to convey things I want without feeling like it’s getting caught on or snagged by other things. Depicting human stuff via animals let’s me strip off certain characteristics that would potentially be a barrier for people who might otherwise see themselves in the piece I share.

Jimothy… is an animal. Jimothy has disabilities. Jimothy’s mom, unlike mine, chose to be gentle and tailor her care to his condition and specific needs. My mom didn’t do that. There are other things I could explain too, but hopefully a few examples of what made me “feel something” when it came to this raccoon will suffice for now.

I shared my art, knowing that there were others who found some sort of positive SOMETHING related to knowing about this raccoon. So much of my Hello We Are Rats stuff is packed full of layers of thought and meaning. I often try to depict so much in a bite-sized format. But, honestly? I just wanted to draw Jimothy.

I did follow it up in my stories, which I know VERY few people actually watch, with some other thoughts I have about it all. “If only disabled humans were embraced so easily.” I also shared others’ posts too that captured a more social/political take.

A few people asked me about prints and shirts when it came to the Jimothy fan art. I told them I’d put them up in my shop for them. If people feel something positive and warm, and my art can help be a container for that, I thought I could provide them the tangible pieces for them to enjoy it.

Plus… if I’m honest… I’m a full-time artist who is barely pulling in anything. I used to be more focused on merch through a few other brands / comic brands I have. I have a love hate relationship with merch. I love creating things that people will enjoy and love and want. I hate adding to overconsumption and waste. I hate marketing and pushing for sales. I wish I could just present what I have so those who want the things can get them, and that’s it. I wish, so much, I could just focus primarily on creating content and being paid for that content. But alas, when your business relies so heavily on the internet, and essentially requires you to create content for “free” / “free to consume,” it’s HARD.

I woke up this morning to someone accusing me of profiting off a disabled raccoon and that I “can’t be bothered to represent disability when asked.” They decided to then leave a negative review on my page with these thoughts, and share my Jimothy art with a long write up essentially saying that “people with platforms” claim to care about opression and progress and instead “do this shit” instead of being anti-ableist. Followed up with, “This is why disabled people die everyday, first, get erased by everyone, but ohh a cute racoon who doesn’t require me to work at all!!!!”

When I replied to their direct comment on my post, they seem to feel entitled to the way I create my work and what I depict, as they’re angry at me for not having essentially fulfilled their request for content thus far. They also seem entitled to how I respond or don’t respond to their engagement on my posts. They said I made time to reply to the people around their comment and couldn’t even push a button in response to them.

Yet, ironically, the posts they made were partly saying how Patreon is not accessible to them (I was trying to direct people to leave comments on a free Patreon post of mine) due to limited energy and function. Their whole post was about disability, and they seem to understand how disability can impact people; and yet there’s zero consideration, it feels, for someone (me) being disabled and trying to manage and run “a platform” on their own. (For the record, I reacted to a single comment on that post. I also responded to a single person who wasn’t sharing their stories as I asked, but was more discussing my issue about posting links and how Facebook limits reach if you do.)

I have other thoughts and feelings about their original comment, which I chose to leave alone and not make a thing out of… and, for now, I will choose to leave alone still. It’s a separate thing.

Here’s the thing: Even if I absolutely hate the way they approached addressing me with their concerns, I recognize that does not mean an argument is invalid. And so… I do what I always do. I’ve been spending the day anxiously processing all this in my head, looking at even more stuff, and trying to decide whether I really am all the bad things they claim I am.

Yes. The fact that I responded to people who asked for merch featuring my illustration of Jimothy does mean that I am capitalizing on it. That’s sadly the truth. But also… please explain to me how I’m supposed to pay the bills while also getting to ALL the different content and representation people want to see in a timely manner. What should I do to have ANY income? Because for the last 3ish + years, and beyond that in many ways, I haven’t been earning a living wage. I am SO FORTUNATE I have/had people in my life who have been massively integral to keeping me from being homeless. They are the ones who are really funding my art that I share for free.

What art can I sell so that I don’t get yelled at? I have prints of my queer art. I have a print about Palestine. Am I exploiting all of those communities and peoples because I’m trying to afford to continue to create the art about them? Because I put prints in my shop after being asked if they’re available because people felt touched by the piece?

Or maybe… I should just stop making social/political art so that I can lean more into selling the art, right?? That’s the solve, right? I feel bad every time I remind people quietly in small corners of my internet space (like my stories) that I have a Patreon, and that those members are generously being the ones funding my content. I feel bad whenever I remind people I have a shop (that gets, currently, maybe one order every month or two.) I hate capitalism too–and maybe this is a cop out to say all this–but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do to survive it if I’m expected to be the representation for everyone, but also I better not be making any money off it, or else I’m evil and exploitive.

I get it. I get that there are complex feelings. I get that there’s anger. Bitterness. Hurt. I spent and spend my life navigating all that. I get that there are many who feel like nobody should be emotionally embracing Jimothy. I get that the social embracing of him also unfortunately can put him at risk. But… a lot of these communities… the queer community… the disability community… they’re not monoliths… People feel different ways about these things…

And maybe that’s an excuse. Maybe what I’m doing and trying to explain away really is all wrong and bad. And that is part of why I’m making this post. Because… at the end of the day, I’m ALWAYS turning the lens in on myself and scrutinizing myself. And I want to be open to hearing from others who are part of the communities that I get accused of negatively impacting.

It doesn’t matter, in a sense, that I am part of these groups too. I don’t think belonging to something means you are incapable of causing harm for those communities. But it does really sting that it feels like lately… it’s people who “are on the same side” as me accusing me of hurting the communities I care about and try hard to represent.

So yes. I’m opening myself up for thoughts and feedback. Though I’d prefer it be a little gentler than the feedback that inspired this post, if you feel generous…

Lastly, I’m realizing I forgot to mention this. On disability representation in my work: after this post, I will post up a collection of comics that have that in it. I may not have made a blatantly spelled out disability post since this person made the request, but part of it is because 1) I’ve been including disability representation even when the posts aren’t specifically focused on it, 2) I think it can be argued that a LOT of my comics, including recent ones, are representing invisible/developmental disabilities. Like most of my comics, I often don’t spell it out (for reasons), and 3) prior to the year and a half where I was completely offline due to my own… disabilities… I also spent a long chunk of time primarily creating content focused on Palestine.

It just feels kind of ironic to be essentially screamed at for not representing disabled people while also being asked to recognize someone’s limits due to their disability, but I’m not given any room for how my disability has and does impact my work and output too…

Anyway… I hope those of you who’ve been around and have probably experienced at least one or two of my posts of this nature will be honest with me. I don’t claim to be infallible, and I am always trying to grow, even if it sucks sometimes. But I hope, also, that my heart comes through in my work, my words, what I share, etc. Regardless, intention only goes so far. I care about my impact and do my best to be rigorously critical of what I create and share with you all…

(Yeah, it’s long AF. I’m sorry. This is why I draw bite-sized comics instead of write for you all… 🫠. I’m sorry I don’t have alt text for all this… It’s been a day…)