I forget there’s a punchline every time. Absolutely delighted.
no matter how normalised it gets I will die on the hill that it is rude to record strangers in public without their consent
Thanks, tumblr mobile, for unintentionally making this even funnier
Just as I said, “is this ever going to load?” One gif loaded and honestly it answered my question perfectly.
Together they create the full set.
saw this again on my dash after reblog and…
tumblr black out poetry
"you already left kudos here"
And??? Let me like it again??? Clearly it deserves more??
every day im mad as hell that i dont have infinite time in the day and am not physically able to draw for 200 hours straight no breaks and dont know every hobby and cant just spend the rest of time drawing and getting into every creative hobby and learn everything and get infinite money from the government
Gollum because it implies that hideously malnourished and deformed muppets turn into the human. Also when Gollum talks to himself he uses a sock puppet demonstrating how he knew he was once a puppet.
Also when he falls in the volcano it's just a pit of fabric scraps, and his human body turns into strips of fabric that peel away one by one til nothing is left but a pool of red yarn.
Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n
I've been using the pet poison hotline's poison list cause it has a search function. It also tells you whether something is mildly, moderately, or severely toxic which can be very handy! It doesn't contain like everything but it might be a good place to start, it also includes plants for fellow houseplant lovers <3
For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog
my dream for tumblr is that we all relearn the phrase "it's not for me" and we remember that this is different from "it should not exist."
something something likes charge reblogs cast
Hey so fun new scam just dropped! I got a call earlier today from someone spoofing the local police department's desk number, asking me if there was a reason I'd missed my jury summons this morning.
Friends, I had not received a jury summons for this month. Which I told him, at which point his previously clear diction suddenly turned into a rapid mumble, only becoming clear for scary words like 'federal' and then asking to confirm my address, at which point I hung up and decided to call the police department later.
When I called the police department the desk officer sounded so tired y'all. All I had to say was "Hey I got a call earlier saying I missed jury duty this morning?" and she immediately sighed and told me that yes it was a scam that was going around and thanked me for calling to confirm.
So this is your periodic reminder that law enforcement agencies will not call you to tell you that you're in trouble. If you need to pay a fine of some sort they will mail you a physical invoice. Anyone calling you saying they're from the police or any other law enforcement organization (up to the CIA and yes I have heard of scammers attempting to impersonate CIA agents over the phone) who then tries to get financial information from you over the phone is a scammer.
I know I actually bang on about this a weird amount, but it is my fervent hope that the information will stick in peoples' brains if they get randomly selected for the adrenaline spike lottery. Scammers use scary words to get you to panic in order to shut down your critical thinking, and if even one person's brain spits out "Tumblr user waterhobbit said the cops/CIA/federal marshalls don't call about this shit" before their bank account routing number is in the hands of assholes I will consider it a job well done.
The person in this post follows my rule of thumb that protects me from 99.9% of all phone scams, and i'd like to highlight it here
For ANY "important" call you actually think might be real, get the name of the agency or institution involved, (and here is the important part:) look up the phone number to that agency or institution on your own, and call back about it.
If you never use a phone number they give you and always look up the number on your own, they can never scam you. Here's how it looks.
"hi, i'm from your bank and your account has just been charged, just, so much money, we're worried it might be fraud."
"Thank you for letting me know, I'll call back later, goodbye"
Then i look up my bank's phone number, and call that number, and tell them i received a call about suspicious activity on my account.
If it's real, they'll help me with it, and if it's not they'll confirm it's not true. Either way, i know i'm talking to the actual bank and not a scammer.
This works for ALL phone scammers, no matter how scary or time sensitive they try to tell you it is. If it's real, something like "i'm driving right now but i'll call back in a few minutes, no thank you i already have the contact information for your agency/business" is ALWAYS an acceptable answer, at most they will want to give you some kind of a case number before you hang up. The more they resist you calling them back from a number you look up, the more likely they are to be a scam.
It's important that YOU call the number of the agency/business. Don't let them "call you back from the main number", it's possible to spoof caller IDs including government numbers.
and don't use google search results, go to the actual agency website
important reminder that most people you follow online are significantly lamer than you think they are including me. and if you feel insecure comparing yourself to someone online: DON'T. theyre probably also lame and weird. most people on the internet are
reblog if you're also lame and weird.
gonna start making snopes-style responses to urban legends about tumblr
"this how we lost post editing and it was still worth it"
❌ False
The John Green Cock Monologue, while one of the most egregious examples of post editing, was not why the ability to edit posts was taken away. This feature was removed because scammers would edit posts with huge note counts to try to make their scams look legit.
"those are his hooves, bitch."
✅ True
Those are his hooves, bitch.