Heart Book ~ It Never Quits Listening

How do you deal with a boyfriend that just hit you blindly in the heart with a guilt trip because you pointed out nicely something he was doing wrong?

I feel like he just shattered my heart. I feel just like my friend now when I tried to tell him she was hurt by his words but he kept claiming it was a grudge when it most certainly was not.

I want to stop crying. I really do.

 i am an idiot and i threw away the best relationship i've ever come across in my life time, and that's including everyone else that i've met/known. i didnt throw it away though, i just made an incredibly horrible choice.

the truth is i was running away from my future by moving 1000 miles to ohio and spending a year doing community service. i told him that if we made it out of this alive that we'd be amazing because we didnt need to be near each other every second of every moment. but i did some serious soul searching and figured out some incredibly important things;

the main point being that people are constantly changing until the day they basically die. as they get older, the changes slow down so that you almost can't tell, but they're still there. so two people in a relationship are continuously changing and to keep a love connection strong, you need to be aware of those changes, both in yourself and in the other person, and you need to consiously work toward keeping balance with one another. it's difficult and spending 1000 miles apart for a fucking YEAR while you're at the age where you change every fucking minute is rediculous, especially when you expect to stay together with virtually no work. after some serious turbulance we split, but i had the hope of winning him back when i moved back to my hometown in june.

that time is coming up quickly; and in fact next saturday will be the first time in six months i will have seen him [or my friends or my family]. i have been talking to him more frequently, trying to warm him up, and he's excited to see me despite his new girlfriend. he says he still has feelings for me and that he needs time to think. i just hope that when he lays those big beautiful eyes on me he comes to the full realization of why we were together in the first place, and why this new girl has not been a perfect fit and he's been running into problems; because we were the perfect fit. 

pray for me. i know i will be

Andrew, you goober. I come back from taking my dog for a walk and heard a beep coming from my room. It was my cell phone beeping so I look to see a voicemail and it was from Andrew, just surprising me with a call to tell me he loves me and shower me with kisses. ♥

Couldnt ask for a better boyfriend.

                                                                  Can you die from lovesickness?

A lovesickness that comes for lack of love from your other half ... and the build up of love within you?

If you survive it can you cure it?  would you want to? 

If you can't  get rid of it does this mean then that you'll just despair for love unfufilled? 

These are things that have been bothering me a while now, but I'm no closer to a solution and it get worse everyday. 

...... 

Has anyone else been through this ?

Craig - Honest Adolph's European Tours says:
Lawl
I've had an idea XD
Kaz# says:
hm?
Craig - Honest Adolph's European Tours says:
When your season 2 finishes downloading
I can put the DVD on my computer too
And we can start the episodes at the same time
And pretend we're watching it together >_>
Kaz# says:
...
AWWWWWWWWWW
<3
You're so adorable.
Craig - Honest Adolph's European Tours says:
^_^
Technically
We will be
Because we'll see the exact same things at the same time XD
Kaz# says:
X3
Craig - Honest Adolph's European Tours says:
And I can just imagine you're snuggled next to me >_>
=3


AWWWWW isn't he the cutest thing ever?

Long story short.

He lived in MN and I lived in FL.
He came to see me on my 18th birthday.
He is the only guy I've ever slept with, I went to MN fell ever more in love three weeks later I moved to MN.
We've been dating for two years now. But a week after we moved in he left me for 4 to 8 hours every night to go hang out with his buddy "James" and then a month later I found him e.mailing this playmate (google.com Sara Jean Underwood) then two weeks later he leaves me and calls me at three in the morning crying that the cops got called to this party he went too and blah blah. The next day "James" called me and said Alex (BF) cheated on me at the party with some whore. After that we started to fight. A lot. Everyday. So, six months later I find out he cheated on me three months after we started to date. I still lived in FL when this went down. So does it count? I think it does. So, After that all these lies started to come out about him and all of his crazy ex girlfriends started to e.mail me. He treats me like shit he will not even kiss me anymore. But when he does hug me or does kiss me it reminds me, why I am in love with him. What do I do I don't wanna break up I love him so much and every time I try to break up with him he says "No, I love you" or "I don't wanna break up" I have given him a ton of money and I also got him a car, is he with me for the money?

I'm depressed I feel used &&& I don't know what I wanna do or what to do.

I sound crazy I know but I'm stuck in quick sand help!!!

kelvin (11:49:56 PM): i heart thee
betsy (11:49:57 PM): i know
besty (11:50:01 PM): i heart theeeeeee back
kelvin (11:50:10 PM): ♥
betsy (11:50:22 PM): yaaaay
kelvin (11:50:39 PM): youre cute
kelvin (11:50:40 PM): and mine
kelvin (11:50:49 PM): wanna get married now and just save us the time?




Wahhhhhh <333333

So tonight at 12am my friend Ogan turned 21.  He called me up asking where the hell I was and telling me to come down to the bar.  Since I was on my way home and it was on the way I stopped by.  In all the cheer, I asked if our friend, Mayfield, was inside celebrating with him.  Turns out he wasn't, but me and Ogan had a race to see who can get him on the phone the fastest.  I won.

Backround story:  Mayfield and I were really close friends my freshmen year.  We met at freshmen orientation and him and Ogan became roommates.  I spent everyday in one of their beds napping.  We got real close. We talked about everything and he was one of the sole reasons I stayed sane that year.  I had liked him since I met him and we just kept getting closer.  However, he was dating a mutual friend of ours.  Later on they broke up and he admitted that he had liked me when they were dating.  Nothing became of it, but we're still super close.  He doesn't go to the same school as us anymore, but still lives within like 10 mins.

Anyway, so we get him on the phone.  Ogan talks to him in his drunken gibberish and then gives me back the phone.  Somewhere along the lines of our convo, I asked him if he was dating anyone new yet.  He said no he was still single.  In which I responded, well you should date me.  He kinda laughed and said "Sammi, if we broke up it'd be hard and I dont wanna lose what we have"  and went on to say how he didn't want to lose me. But the way he said it made me feel all loved. 

I dont know, I love the way he says my name and hes one of the few people that actually calls me Sammi.  And it was just really cute.

as a short back story, i have a best friend who is twenty-nine and i'm eighteen. we've always been super close, i've known him my entire life and love him to death. and no, this isn't a post about how i think i'm falling in love with him... believe me, he is strictly a friend.

he's now a teacher and about two years ago, was given a job offer at school 3 hours away from where i live (and he used to live). he took the job and so it's been awhile since i've been able to really talk to him or even see him. i'm graduating in june and it's always been really important to me that he be at my graduation. so i went on the school website for the school district he works at and come to find out, their graduation is the same date as mine. i have a pretty good feeling he's most likely already promised one of his students that he'll attend their graduation, though i don't know for sure. it just really sucks because i've been looking forward to having him at my graduation for THE longest time. i swear to everyone i'd rather have my diploma mailed to me and miss my graduation entirely than have to go through the whole process without him there. i realize that sounds naive to a lot of people, but i just can't even explain how much it means to me that he be there. i'm still going to ask him to come to my graduation and everything, though i'm pretty sure there's a good chance he won't. when i saw the graduations are the same date, i started bawling like a baby. i've been looking forward to graduation and having him there to celebrate this milestone with me and now i don't even feel like graduating. i seriously can't do this without him. i don't even know what i could say to him that would explain how much this means to me. i just feel like i'm stuck in a rut with this one. =[