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just a random blog i guess

@hazylilacdream

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Rose’s alcoholism is actually a symptom of the fundamental difference between her and Dirk. more at ten

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knowledge and understanding is more deeply appealing to rose than self control is. it’s her vice. she is willing to sacrifice her autonomy to listen to the voices of the horrorterrors and she is willing to sacrifice her own dignity for the sake of, as she herself said, better understanding her mother. she indulges in the discomfort and horror of the process of learning simply for the sake of learning.

dirk however is petrified by a lack of (especially self) control and his self consciousness transcends his want to know things. hence rose’s alcoholism and dirk’s unwillingness to indulge in any psychoactive substances. thesis statement: rose would do acid and have the worst trip of her life crying and shaking so hard she vomits, and then would do it again the next day, and dirk would refuse to take melatonin