よこそ、花の世界へ

I *knew* showing my mom Dr. Who was a bad idea, now she wants me to make a Dalek >.>

why do I do things that I *KNOW* will give me the sads?
When the sads sneak up on me, it's just the way of the world, but going into something knowing that it'll end in tears is just masochistic innit?



totally didn't watch CoE tonight >.>


Must find something that will reverse the sads now... Think I'll work on the mock-up for the Adipose kitty toys I want to make (yes I am a giant nerd)

There are some things I just really get an urge to sew, that I know I shouldn't bother with, but I wants :(

Current temptation I'm attempting to resist: Capt. Jack Harkness' coat from Torchwood XD

really no reason to make it, but it just tempts me so...

There's something oddly cathartic about crying over a movie, or a tv show, or a book.
It's not something I really do all that often (mostly cause I tend to avoid things that are going to cause teh sads) but I never quite got a proper ability to deal with death and loss and all that. Likely a mix of my mental issues and an upbringing mercifully free of that sort of thing.

I cry alot, but usually it's the way I deal with overflowing emotions, some people yell, some people throw stuff, some people hurt themselves, I cry like a baby. (and I eat pie, but that's another issue all together)

Random other thing poking at my mind:
There is one picture I've seen of myself before the age of 4 where I'm smiling
all the others, I just look, well, neutral, and it's weird.
I have memories of standing in front of a mirror as a child, practicing smiling.
Cause it wasn't a natural thing for me. It's better now, but I still have to remind myself sometimes...

Once again I do a birthday post, but this year, I shall not whine about being old :P

Number 25 is upon me, and I'm ok with that.

I've learned a lot about myself this year, and surprisingly, it's been mostly good.

I have a house, and my wonderful kitties, and while family issues have made the past 5 months a bit stressful, I know now that the right choices were made. (Even if it has made me rather melancholy about the fact that some of my romantic visions of the world have been shattered)

But, though I want to become more productive and find my place in everything, stuff isn't going too bad :)

Been on a break from WoW for about a month and this morning I decide to log on and see that the pre-expansion patch was released sometime in my absence, so now I have a 2hr download to wait through *sigh*
Been filling my time with Lord of the Rings Online in the past month, decided to give it a try when they released the free to play stuff, since pre-xpac blues was hitting me hard in WoW. Every 10 minutes I swear I have a major fangirl moment >.> Tolkien stuff is my childhood, The Hobbit, and the Lord of the Rings trilogy were my bedtime stories as a kid, and getting to interact with all these characters that I've been living with since I was six is just so amazing
I GOT TO HELP BILBO WITH HIS RIDDLES!!!!!
And yes, I am playing a male elf :P A minstrel, which means I get to play fun instruments to heal people XD. He has the same name as my main from WoW (Halladir) but while he is wonderful, he does lack some of the fabulosity that WoW Hall possesses.
This new patch should get me back on the WoW train somewhat though, but I do have to admit, I'm not 100% on board with some of the healing changes and what not that they've put in, but I'm gonna stick with it unless they've managed to make Hall completely unplayable.

chopped about 8 inches off my hair today, it's still below my shoulders, but not quite as long as it used to be

just needed a change, I tend to cut my hair when things get kinda weird in my life, and things are definitely weird at the mo

feels good though, it always seems to help oddly, just something fresh and new to mix stuff up

I can't believe my little girls are 4 years old, it seems like just yesterday that the vet tech was bringing in two little black fuzzballs for me to meet :)
they've been such a wonderful addition to my life, as much as they may annoy me at times :P

Things have been really weird in my life though, things that have been constants for the past 24 years are suddenly not constants anymore, and it's hard to deal with.
been playing too much WoW to deal with the stress, and you know that if I say it's too much, it's WAY too much >.>

luff my girls though, they keep me sane and happy :)

when you have a dream in which Wolverine has Justin Timberlake on his speed dial you just need to wake the fuck up and get out of there as soon as possible >.>

K, so Sachi was just sitting in my lap, purring and kneading when all of sudden she leaps off frantically, leaving 2 lovely gouges in my leg >.> (can't figure out what spooked her either, I was sitting still, just scrolling through a webpage, no strange noises or nothing)

the pain is quite spectacular I must say, and those of you who know me know that I am quite knowledgeable in the area of pain.  And wow, this was like a 7. Time for nail trimmings

(On a slightly unrelated note, I luff this icon, the picture is, of course, of my 2 sweet little girls, taken way back in December of '06 when they were just about 4 months, and I totally know Turtle will be able to tell who's who :P)