I am a rock tart

60 Weeks is a long time to not post!

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough to make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering:
A child of mercy and grace who blessed Your name unapologetically
to leave that kind of legacy ...

my friend amy was shot and killed last tuesday.
i miss her a lot
i hear her voice when no one is around
i just want a little silence.

Amy, we'll take care of Bobby and your son Tyler.
And we'll see you when we get there. You too, Dad.

We got a new dog, his name is Oly. He's really sweet and he keeps Lucy company.

I had a poem here, but it was horrible, and it made me mad and upset so I deleted it.

Dad, I sure do miss you. I wish I would stop reaching for the phone. I keep thinking of things to tell you. Susies havin a hard time without you. I don't know how to help her, when i can't hardly help myself

if the market is as bad as they say it is, why were there lines down streets to buy iPhones...

this is a question that requires no answer, but it alludes to the values people hold.

where your money is, your heart is also.

So i have a fun story

I work 2 jobs: 25 hrs as a PRN employee at Good Samaritan Med Center and 25 hrs as an admin at church.

So, Tuesday my boss at the hospital came to me and said "the lean project (our efficiency project) wants me to make all PRN employees full time" and i said "but you know i have another job that I'm not willing to leave" he said "well why don't you think about it and Monday we'll talk" "But theres nothing to talk about, im not leaving my other job" and he the proceeded to tell me that my remaining PRN i could get zero days a week or one, and that I would be removed from the schedule.

well crap-tacular, what a way to treat someone who's gone above and beyond.

I told the church what happened and told them if they needed front desk help or anything i would now be available.

Instead, they gave me a raise and more hours.

I told George my "decision" effective immediately and he had the gall to ask why I didn't give him 2 weeks notice. I said "im not quitting, you said PRN was 1 shift per quarter, and thats not going to pay my bills"

He hasn't called for help yet.

And I'm ok with that

1. Who knew you would end up where you are? I'm frustrated when you're frustrated and happy when you're happy. You know exactly who you are and exactly what you want; you've been this way since day one and that makes me so proud of you.

2. I worried about you so much, sometimes I still do. I cried about you more than any person probably should, but because I love you so much. You've grown right before my eyes and I wish I had more of you in my life. Sometimes I feel like you replaced me, but I'm glad its with the people who love you as much as I do.

3. I hurt you, I hurt your feelings, and I threw your affection to the curb. I grew a lot because of you, and even though you hurt me so much, God has let me forgive you. I just wish you would forgive me, because I am so sorry.

4. You are so far away, and that distance breaks my heart. I feel like someone came and removed me from your life. You are still a part of mine and I think about you all the time. Your opinion is so important to me, I wish you knew that, but all we ever talk about these days is work and the conversation runs dry. I wish we could have fun like we used to.

5. Sometimes I don't understand you. I've always thought you were so cool, even when you made choices that I never would. I look up to you, but I'm too proud to tell you that. I'm just glad that we are able to talk, even if it's not deep. It's like you know where I'm coming from.

6. I don't connect with you, we should be close but we're not. I can't tell whats real with you and whats fake. I don't know if you say what people want to hear because you've been hurt or if its because you just don't know what to say. Whoever took away your value from you in your mind should be ashamed because you are a beautiful woman, inside and out.

7. I'm glad I met you, you make my life full of joy. We always have something to laugh about and its great. I like it when you voice your opinion because I don't think you do it enough.

8. You are such a wonderful person. You have so many talents and your overwhelming reliance on God makes you such a good role model for me. You are amazing and you really bring the idea of doing everything with a joyful heart to a new level. God blessed me when he brought you into my life.

9. My heart breaks for you every time we talk because I'm a helper and there's nothing I can do to help you, except to pray for you. You know you already gave up and that makes it all the more worse. I have to distance myself from you because you are self-destructive and you don't even know it. But gosh I miss you.

10. You haven't come into my life yet and I miss you every minute of everyday. I don't know what you will look like or when you'll be here, but you consume all my thoughts. When no one is around my mind wanders straight to you. Where are you? I need you. I love you so much; I just want to reach out to you.

its sunny and snowy out. Colorado is weird, and living here sometimes makes me feel spoiled. Its so nice outside, this weekend it was 60+ degrees out; in February!

Flatirons hired a new Care Pastor, so after working there for over 6 months I will finally have a boss. Everyone is really excited because he is such a fun guy and his testimony is fantastic! Things should start rocking and rolling there!

The hospital is ok, we had a guy on nights with us named Matt who quit, which is sad because he is such a nice guy. But since he left theres only been 1 day where we get out early. I can't decide if I'm upset or if it's a blessing in disguise because now I'm actually getting my full paycheck. I'm still not used to being an hourly employee and having different checks coming in.

This weekend Terry and I are going to a fun Marriage conference called "Weekend to Remember" Everyone who I've talked to said it's a really good time and well worth the money. If I hadn't paid for it months ago we probably would have canceled to save the cash but oh well.

Lucy is going to have a puppy sitter while we are gone. We tried leaving her out of her kennel last week. She did pretty good the first 2 days and ok the 4th day but the 3rd day she was very naughty. She ate: a shoe, a paintbrush, the remote, a mouse for a computer, a pen, a box of outlet plugs, and some other assorted things. Naughty, naughty girl!

I'm kind of bummed because our trip to Kentucky in June was canceled. It was for a family reunion, but Terry has some relatives who live out this way (CO and Washington) who don't like to travel and Kentucky would be a bit much for them. Again, its another blessing in disguise I think, because that trip would have cost terry and me well over $1000.

Oh well, I need to get ready for work now!!!

I'm posting, hooray!
im sick as a dog. thats super.
my supervisor at the church thinks i have Seasonal Affective disorder. I get super drowsy early in the evening and when it's time to wake up I just can't do it.
in fact, I'm going to log off because I don't feel like being online anymore
:(