It didn't work, and now I smell like a tart. A *fruit* tart.

Tried to clean up subscriptions etc using the Manage Circle page, got an error message and when I reloaded, I had lost just about everyone I was mutuals with.

So if you got an email going, "hafnia has granted you access", uh. THAT IS WHY.

Technology, I swear...

Hiya! Thanks for signing up for IPQ, and I'm excited that you've gotten my assignment! This is my first exchange (ever), and so my expectations are pretty low — just the thought that someone's going to create something for me is really neat!

General Likes

Themes/tropes/etc I like:

• Arranged marriage/marriage of convenience/political marriage, etc: basically any situation in which people end up forced into a relationship and have to make it work


• Bodyguard romance: including subsets such as knight/noble, paladin/person they're sworn to protect, etc.


• Casefic/missionfic: whether it's a full-blown mystery or "we gotta get the Super Important Thing", I'm here for it


• Enemies to friends/lovers: "rivals to lovers" is included in here as well; the stakes can be as high or low as you like!


• Exploiting the loopholes: "x doesn't actually count for purposes of y" — give me violating the spirit but not the letter of the law, whatever that looks like to you, whether it's, "our relationship is forbidden by social mores because we are of different social standing" or "technically it's not theft because you never owned it to begin with" — I have a soft spot for "well, actually..." nonsense :D


• Fairy folklore: I have a huge soft spot for all the folklore that's out there about the fey. If it makes sense to your plot, go for it.


• Fairytale retellings: fuck yes, go for it, if it works and you have a vision, go for it


• Fake relationship: "we have to pretend to be into each other for Reasons, oh no, turns out we have Feelings" is always a fave


• Forced proximity: "We would never spend time together but we have to for Reasons" yes good excellent stuff. Maybe they're stuck on a space station together, maybe they've been arrested at the same time, maybe it's the only hotel for sixty-something miles and they're too tired to drive — go with what makes sense to you!


• Friends to lovers: love the focus on the relationship and what changed to make it suddenly possible/plausible


• Happy endings: I love a good happy ending, especially when it's something that's been worked for


• Heel-face turn: specifically, when someone honorable realizes they're on the wrong side and joins the "good" guys


• Hurt/comfort: give me characters healing from trauma, regaining their agency, and getting back to their best selves!


• Intrigue: political, social, whatever floats your boat!


• Masquerades/masked balls: fancy clothes AND hidden identities? SIGN ME UP.


• Regency settings: I have a huge soft spot for Regency romance and Regency-inspired canons. Please, if you have a vision, write it! I will be here for it! Think less Bridgerton and more Georgette Heyer, please and thank you! ♥


• Worldbuilding: I want to know how stuff works, especially the mundane stuff! Give it to me!

More General Likes

I'm not a difficult creature to please. I'm a big reader and I just...love stories and storytelling, period. I read widely and I don't have a preferred genre. I realize that's not super-helpful, so let me list some stuff I really enjoy when it comes up.

I love queer themes. Queer/trans characters where the center of the narrative is not their queerness/transness is great! Romance is great! Stories that center friendship, also great! I love stories that dig into relationships between people, whether they are romantic or not, highlighting what makes that relationship work and why, at the end of the day, they care about each other. Getting together or established, messy (but functional) or aspirational, I'm here for it.

I am here for stories that center women and which explore their inner lives and experiences. I love and mostly write F/F. F/M or M/M are also great, but I want them as stories to have more than one woman character, and especially in the case of M/M, where it's easy to have almost no focus on women, for those that are present to have a role beyond "sassy best friend".

I love imperfect people thrust into difficult situations and Doing Their Best, whether the Difficult Situation is something world-ending ("if we don't get the Macguffin before the Bad Guys do, it'll literally be the End of the World as We Know It"), or lower-stakes ("if we don't bake the cookies in time for the bake sale, Marcia will be mildly disappointed!").

I adore Characters vs. The Problem as well as Characters vs. Their Own Flaws. I love reading stories about people who make choices that are reasonable for the story in which they find themselves — maybe those choices aren't perfect, but there's a clear and bright throughline as to why the character makes them at any given point in time.

When it comes to characterization and protagonist vs. antagonist, I love protagonists that are imperfect (but doing their best), and I am unreasonably excited whenever there's an antagonist who has motivations that are understandable to the reader. Think less, "they're evil because they're evil", and more, "Okay that's not how I would have gone about it, but I can see how we got from, 'I need money to pay for the life-saving treatment for my mom' to 'now I'm carrying out murder for hire'." "Evil is relative", is a good way to put it: the antagonist's actions make sense to them and a reasonable person can follow that line of thought even if it's distasteful or goes against their own moral code.


If you feel inclined to write smut:

Smut is great and I welcome it wholeheartedly. Feel free to get weird with it! Healthy kink (where everyone is Into It and consenting) is awesome! If it's not on my DNW list (more on that in a moment), feel free to include it. I'm especially fond of:

• Aftercare


• Bondage (rope, cuffs, etc.)


• Foreplay


• Fingering/manual stimulation


• Fucking/penetration (PIV, strap-on sex, etc)


• Impact play (floggers, paddles, etc)


• Magic


• Marking (hickeys, bruises, etc)


• Multiple orgasms


• Oral sex


• Semipublic sex


• Sensation play (ice, body-safe wax, and the like where sensation, not necessarily pain, is the goal)


• Sex toys

In general I welcome sex scenes enthusiastically so long as they don't hit on my DNWs! :)


If you want to write missing scenes/a sequel/a remix of any of my original work:

I have written a lot of Original Work, including some stuff that is arguably a fill for what I'm requesting. If you read something I wrote and want to write a remix, some missing scenes, give it a sequel, whatever, I'm game — use an inspired-by link and we're good. :)

This is by no means an expectation, but I participate in a couple of different remix events, and I'd be remiss if I didn't say something welcoming it :D

What I like in Original Work

From the signup: I love romance, especially nontraditional romance and/or pairings where it's not immediately obvious why they're into each other. Enemies to friends to lovers is totally my jam, nontraditional arranged marriage, etc. I love works about honorable/decent people stuck in indecent situations and trying to make the best of it -- think, "neither of us wanted this or expected it to happen, but here we are and we will do what we can to continue to behave honorably and treat each other with respect as we try to get through this Sticky Situation", where it's characters vs. the narrative. It's Original Work, so feel free to do as you like! These are guidelines and not hard-and-fast rules. :D I enthusiastically welcome you taking what you find iddy about any of the above setups and running wild with it. Use your imagination and have fun -- I'm sure I'll love it! <3

To expand a little bit: I believe that for romance to work, we have to understand why it is that two people would want to be together, even if they clash initially. Mutual respect on both sides — even if it's something that has to be worked for — is important to me. Misunderstandings can happen, and obviously not everyone is going to get along (at least at first, and maybe even later on!), but ultimately when I read something, I want to understand why it is that the two people (or more) in question have decided that they're going to go ahead and give it a shot. What makes it worth it to them? What do they see in each other now that they perhaps didn't before?

I'm cool with dark romance, but it needs to be something that's plausible for the given setting. I don't think that Betty is going to forgive Alice for, say, murdering her entire family just because Alice apologizes and goes, "My bad! Totally love you tho!" If Alice does something awful to Betty in canon but they still end up together by the end, it needs to be really clear how/why it happened and why it is that Betty forgives her. Characters don't have to be perfect/don't have to make perfect choices (and it's better if they're not and don't), but your reader should be rooting for them to end up together in the end, not hoping that they'll split up!

For "D&D: Honor Among Thieves"

From the signup: Look, they are possibly one of the worst (bestworst?) heist groups out there, I love them, I love the setting, just go nuts and have fun. I love anything/everything about the group interacting, further heists, whatever nonsense they get up to (maybe more drama with the Harpers, maybe something else, you tell me). Bonus points if it's not 100% accurate to D&D -- I'm more interested in your worldbuilding than I am in being lore-perfect. OCs etc enthusiastically welcomed -- go for it! <3

I specifically am okay with any "&" relationship you want to explore, not just what's listed in the signup (because, alas, I am limited by tags :) ). If you're like, "I want to write Holga and Doric bonding over being badasses who feel like outsiders to the culture they currently live in", by all means, go nuts. Want to take a swing at Xenk, Simon and Edgin getting into trouble after a drinking contest goes wrong? By all means. I love these characters and especially like the idea of being able to see their lives outside of the usual D&D adventuring party nonsense.

Regarding worldbuilding and lore: I DM a godawful lot of D&D. I know more about the lore than I really want to. I don't expect you to know it or utilize it in what you write, and I am much more interested in your take on the worldbuilding. Use 5e/5.5e as a jumping-off point if you want to, but please don't feel like you have to be note-perfect or rely on it heavily. Ignore the parts you don't like, use the parts you do — I will probably be happy! <3

For Vespertine

From the signup: I loved Vespertine, and I especially loved the Revenant. Genuinely, anything you want to include about the interactions between Artemisia and the Revenant will be a win for me. Love the implications of exploring further, including other revenants, other nuns, etc. Go nuts, have fun, make me love your OCs as much as you do! <3

Vespertine was supposed to be a multi-book series, and there's just so much worldbuilding, plot etc that we never got to see. SHOW IT TO ME! I am here for your take on the canon! Where did you think it was going to go, who else do they meet, what happens next? I also welcome slice-of-life stuff with Artemisia and the Revenant! Their relationship is so fun and I'm always grateful to see more of it, no matter what form it takes.

I am primarily interested in gen stuff here, but if you feel inclined to write Artemisia/Leander, I will not complain ♥ If you go this route, I would especially love a take on their relationship through the Revenant's POV.

Do-Not-Wants

Please don't include the following in anything you write for me:

• Ageplay


• BDSM used as an outlet for anger/as punishment: what it says on the tin. In general I dislike impact play, etc as "punishment". It's part of some D/s scenes, but it's not my cup of tea.


• Bestiality


• Bodily fluids: no thank you to anything that is not a normal/ordinary part of vanilla sex. No watersports, no scat, no emeto, no bloodplay, and no spitting into someone else's mouth/spitting on them.


• Cannibalism: roughly defined as "humanoids eating other humanoids", for canons where it's not all human characters. This includes cakeverse.


• Dubcon: defined here as, "there is some reason why the character(s) in question can't give informed consent", whether that's due to impairment of some kind (alcohol, drugs, mind control), blackmail/extortion ("I won't do x if you perform y"), or the like. A mention of people having a drink earlier in the evening and/or ending up tipsy and then falling into bed is fine if it's an established relationship and/or if the narrative makes it clear that they were interested prior to getting into bed together.


• Incest: no thanks. Childhood friends and/or relationships that are "like a sibling" are OK as long as not actually blood-related.


• Noncon


• Self-harm: no on-screen self-harm, please. Past mentions are okay ("here is what happened"), detailed flashbacks are not.


• Snuff


• Underage sex: no participants under 18 years of age.


• Torture: no on-screen torture, please. Past mentions are okay ("this happened"), detailed flashbacks are not.

I think that's it. If you have any questions, please feel free to route them through the mods, and I will answer to the best of my ability! ♥ Thanks again for being willing to create for me, and I'm looking forward to it!

3weeks4dreamwidth will be starting soon!

There's a friending meme up now, if you want to join in:

Manda took and passed her driving test! Was this morning; went very well, apparently. She made one or two (minor) mistakes, but on the whole the driving instructor was evidently impressed and told her that she is an excellent driver, so!

(There was some question vis a vis: "who was your instructor?", which, ha? Glad I've still got it, I guess. Welp.)

Let her borrow my car (me in the passenger seat) to get over there and then back; she did fine on the drive out, though as I remarked, the way I had her go out (via the highway) was probably more intense than the actual test itself. "You're going to pass and it'll be fine, but that's not going to be a fun trip" — and indeed, it wasn't, though we managed well enough.

On the drive out, "Blinding Lights" by The Weeknd popped up.

"Oh, I love this song! I didn't realize you liked it."

"...my dude, I got it from you."

"What? You like The Weeknd?"

And so I laughed a little and explained that she'd sent it to me ages back, and so it had of course made it onto my regular playlist, because she was right that I liked it quite a bit.

"I didn't realize —"

We talked a little more, and I told her the joke I have about Max and our friend Brian — that they're "brainwormed" in the same way ("same worms, different brain"), and then how shadaras refers to it (because we have a lot of overlap in some specific areas and sometimes it's like, "yes, this person will love this" because one of us adores it), and —

"Okay," she said. "I get it, I think. It's like — there's this song, I think it's by, uh, a band called of Montreal?"

"...yeah?"

"It's, um, the chorus is something about Antarctica? It came on in your car —"

"When we were driving out to see Colin Meloy in Astoria in December of 2022?"

"...YES!"

"Yeah, um — the one where they keep talking about how much they love each other and the deranged roleplay they want to do?"

"Yes! That one!"

"'Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Games'," and I went ahead and pulled it up.

We both listened to it — she sang along for bits of it, while I only sang the bridge, which is my favorite part and why I love the song ("maybe I'll never die, I'll just keep growing younger with you/and you'll grow younger too/now it seems too lovely to be true/but I know, the best things always do"), then when it was finished:

"That's the brain worm you infected me with," said very lovingly, which —

You know, I suppose there's worse legacies to have?

I feel like I ought to have more to say, but the last week has been more of the same: making bread (experimenting with sourdough, mostly hydration ratios, though I did do at least one pass at the cranberry walnut loaf and while it wasn't perfect it was good enough that I'm going to keep trying, it made excellent toast), noodling at writing stuff, and — well.

Last week, Maximo was like, "oh I'm not sick, it's just allergies" as he became, in short order, Very Goopy.

"I don't think that's just allergies," I said (helpfully! I am helpful). "You sound like a frog."

He rolled his eyes, but — well, dear reader, I was correct, it was a rather nasty headcold, one which he kindly passed on to me. It's been going around his work, evidently — everyone's negative for, well, everything (including Maximo), no fever/body aches/anything that would point to flu or COVID, just — goop. Good ol' rhinovirus, I guess.

Anyway, yes — he was like, "I don't think I'm sick", and then he was, I caught it from him, and thus had two days of sort of sneeze-y, goopy misery. Today is the first day that I've felt halfway normal since Thursday, and, well — ended up with a migraine, because the universe has a sense of humor. (Deep sigh.)

Was supposed to take a sourdough class that a friend of a friend was teaching and wanted feedback on; texted her yesterday thanking her for the invitation and telling her that in the interest of not passing along the crud, I wouldn't be going. So. You know. Boo.

Stayed home, obvs. Max went up to Salem to go meet one of his friends to play disc golf, since the weather was fine, and as soon as he left I went back to bed and didn't get up for a solid three and a half hours. Took pain meds, curled up in the dark, slept it off. Woke up not being entirely sure that words were, well, working, but mostly felt better, and have felt okay most of the rest of the day.

And, well, yeah.

The weather has been sort of shit lately — rainy enough that I can't start doing the outdoors stuff I want to do (clearing out raised beds, digging up the bulbs I want to get rid of in the front yard, because the hyacinth has more or less taken over the entirety of the corner and I am sick of it), also cold until today. It's actually supposed to snow overnight Monday, which is very ?! considering that today was 60F, and may explain the migraine (they are, alas, weather-linked).


The Fandom Trumps Hate (hereafter FTH) auctions wrapped this evening. Was sort of relieved to see that I got bids on both of them? Was half-afraid, going into this, that no one would bid on me — did actually have a couple of friends where I was like, "PLEASE, IF IT GETS TO THE LAST FEW HOURS AND NO ONE HAS..." — but, well, yeah. Did get bids! Got multiple bids, even, on the writing, which is still astounding to me, but FTH is one of the events that's for a good cause, so it's less, "ah yes, You Specifically are Desired" and more, "what you're doing is interesting enough and it's for a decent enough reason that no one's going to begrudge spending $5 on it". Though, er — I think the last bid for writing was more like $55? Which is, again, a bit "!!" to think about, but oh, well.

I won't find out about assignments until probably sometime next week, but I'm looking forward to it, so. Hoping that the second-place bidder from the writing auction also wants something, because A). More money going to charity = good, and B). They left a really lovely comment on something I'd written, which made me think, "ah, we have similar taste!", and so I want to know what they'd request, honestly.


Not much else to report, I think. Lots of grumbling re: physical health stuff (three migraines in two weeks, including one that more or less Lingered for three days) — the migraines were honestly what came up in therapy last, along with, "I know that rejection sucks but boy it really sucks" — and that's not terribly interesting to talk about, plus y'all heard from a lot as part of the Talking Meme Month stuff, so. I am still noodling over thoughts on writing for that, for the record, and when I finally have something coherent to answer the questions that were posed to me, I'll share it. It's very — mm. Part of it is that I'm reluctant to give advice on how to write, because I feel like it's personal/subjective, and what makes "good writing" depends on things like what the purpose of it is (e.g. is it technical writing, are you trying to convey information or instructions, are you telling a story — and if so, what sort of story) as well as your own personal style and preferences. I'm never going to write like Hemingway or Dickens, but I'm not particularly fond of either of their styles (nothing against them, really), so of course it's not going to sound the same, and if someone comes to what I've written looking for that, they're going to walk away annoyed.

I can talk a lot about how to develop the habit of it, which is how I think you get better, but...I mean...it also feels very deeply weird to position myself as an expert on this when I have recently gotten rejected. I haven't done anything meaningful with writing in about fifteen years — I mean, I write for myself, and it's fun, but I definitely haven't met the publication goals I set out to, etc, and so there's this feeling hanging over me of, "man, do I have enough know-how to feel comfortable answering this stuff?"

I think the answer is yes, with some hedging, but, well.

We'll see.

Watch this space, I guess, in the meantime, and I will probably try to throw up something coherent once my head is no longer actively trying to kill me.

I signed up to do work for fandomtrumpshate this year. So, er.

Two different auctions, one for writing (obvs) and one for fan labor.

Writing auction is here — 20-50k words, up to E rating, original work. There's more details at the link, but basically, if you want a bespoke romance novel, you get a bespoke romance novel. Or, you know, SFF action-adventure or whatnot, it's really up to you.

People who are familiar with The Road Through the Mountains or In the Lord's Manor: YEAH, YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT I LIKE TO WRITE, AND IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, I'M FUCKING THRILLED.

(People that liked the House Ilizana stuff in particular — you know who you are — I have a planned-but-not-written longfic about Jastira and her lady's maid and what they got up to prior to her marriage to Mal's dad that I have been itching for an excuse to write, so if you look at this and go, "man, $5, that's pretty reasonable, I wonder if she'd be willing to...", the answer is YES.)

Genuinely, though, if there's anything I've done that you've liked and wanted more of, bids start at $5! It goes to charity! I will write basically anything as long as it doesn't hit my DNWs!

Bidder's choice as to which charity stuff goes to, please bid on me? Ha ♥


The fan labor action is here, and it's the one I imagine more people will be interested in. Ever wanted to play one of my campaigns but not had a chance to because of timing, wanting to play solely with people you know, or similar? GOOD NEWS. I'm offering a bespoke ttrpg one-shot. Limited in system (D&D 5e, Monster of the Week, Blades in the Dark), but 3-4 hours depending on players and what people want, I will work with the bidder on what themes they want present, etc. Again, details are at the link, but if you've ever been like, "the games you run sound cool, I want to play with you", good news!

Bidding for that starts at $20, again bidder's choice as to which charity you donate to. ♥ Please note that $20 total for tabletop for up to 6 people is a fucking steal, for most DMs/GMs it's more like $15-20 per person at the table, on the low end, so!

Bidding will open on March 3rd (and you bet your sweet bippy that I'm going to advertise again, so!).


I really doubt there'll be much competition for bids, so! Keep an eye out, if you want to bid, please do so, or if you know someone who would be interested in what I'm offering, point 'em at the auctions, yeah? :D

if I could travel anywhere, where would I go/what would I do?

I mean, honestly? I'm kind of boring. I'd go back to Spain and spend a week or two doing nothing more important than eating good food and visiting all the historical sites, maybe hit up Portugal while out there.

Max wants to visit Japan, someday I would like to visit Chile, but like — for the most part, "go back to Europe now that I'm older and theoretically have money" is near the top of the list. :D


Anyway, er — the sourdough adventures continue! I made crackers from discard (very good, worth doing again), and today I experimented and did a weird loaf (this recipe).

It turned out pretty well, actually!

It's very high hydration, which means it stuck awfully to my brotforms, but I'm going to drop it for next time, I think, and try again. "Next time" as in, "I'm probably going to make more bread this weekend, because Why Not".

We are moving ever closer to the cranberry walnut loaf of my dreams, which is the Important part. :D

what book(s) have you read only once that have stayed with you so long that you can never stop thinking about them? (Good and bad)

Ha, I'm a compulsive re-reader, so it's more like, "what have I read only once?"

Two come immediately to mind:

1). Atonement. If you know, you know. I don't know that it is possible to reread this book considering what the ending reveals — I mean, perhaps people do, but...lord.

2). A Fine Balance. It's a historical fiction novel about The Emergency declared in India in the 1970s. It's a brutal book. You end up caring for all the characters and, well. Given the time period and who they are socially, nothing good happens. It's not bleak per se (looking at you, A Little Life), but it's realistic in what was likely to have happened to each of them given considerations like caste, etc. It's a lot. I don't regret reading it, but I won't reread it. Once was enough.

I will say that for the most part, I don't finish stuff I'm not enjoying — life is short, there are many books, if I'm not into something I usually don't make it all the way through.

With that said, though, I absolutely loathed Blindsight by Peter Watts, and I am still annoyed that for a few years there it was held up as the piece of Science Fiction For Scientists.

(These days it seems to be stuff by Andy Weir, which I by and large haven't read, because The Martian was aggressively fine, and I could not get into Artemis.)

What is my favorite place in the world?

God. Uh. Hmm.

I want to toss some far-flung locales on here, but I haven't been there in over twenty years and God only knows if they're still nice, so. I guess we'll go with the places I have known well and loved.

It's a toss-up between:

The Salt Lake City Public Library, at least as I remember it circa 2010 (which, God, was a long time ago...!) — I went to a bunch of poetry readings etc here and always loved it and felt very in my element whenever I was there, and the rooftop garden is super neat.

Cape Perpetua, because it's fucking beautiful.

Swan Lake, Montana, because I spent just about every childhood here from the time I was 4 to the time I was 14.

Mesa Verde, because it's just fucking cool.

SF MoMA, because I adore it and have a lot of great memories of visiting different exhibits there (for several years in a row I had business stuff that took me to San Francisco at least once if not twice a year, and I always hit up SF MoMA when I went).

Anyway yes, I am Indecisive, you are welcome :D

Tabletop goals for the year?

In no particular order:

1). Finish the Bounty Hunter's Guild and give it a satisfying ending.
2). Run and wrap Goodbye My Darling.
3). Start the long-form Eberron campaign (name TBD).
4). Finish Space Heist and get it on itch.io, even if it's only as a public beta or something, because IT HAS BEEN LONG ENOUGH.

That's nice and concise, I think? :D

Will say that I do have a brief update re: sourdough — I made a successful starter and yesterday, I baked bread with it for the first time. Nothing fancy; I made two regular boules. The prove on it could probably have been a bit better, but dang, y'all, it tasted great. :D I ate sourdough toast this morning and it was everything I wanted. 10/10, would do again. ♥ So that's one thing crossed off my, "I want to try to do this" list, and now that I've done it the straight way, I can start playing with different flours and such (want to incorporate a bit of rye into it, for flavor), start thinking about inclusions, etc. I had this amazing fruit and nut bread at one point that I kinda want to try remaking...was like, walnut with dried cranberries? so, yeah.

We shall see!