gremlin4

Not professional help, mind you. Not yet anyway.

But I am seeking help. -lol-

Mostly this is a cry of help in creating pairings. I have two stories I've been working on for a while now ( and the majority of the reason I haven't been posting recently ) and both are relatively big. One deals with a pre and post apocalyptic world of zombies and human experiments - major horror on that front for those Resident Evil/Walking Dead lovers. The other is a fantasy world of kings, knights, dragons, magic, love, betrayal and greed.

If things progress well, I'm hoping to start posting one - if not both stories by the end of this year with (fingers crossed) regular bi-monthly post. But I'm having a bit of trouble. Both of these stories use Jrock bands as their character base and both worlds are "No Women" kind of deals. That being said, I have a pretty good idea of where and how I want a handful of characters to fall in love, but the rest... No idea. Should I give them love interest? Would people be interested in certain pairings? What about if so-and-so dies and their lover moves on with someone else, who would that be? Etc, etc, etc...

So I thought; why not just ask readers?

Of course, you know me - I always have my OTP reign supreme, but the rest? Truly, it's up in the air for a lot of characters/bands because I'm pretty flexible with a lot of pairings outside of my OTP. Which is the problem and the reason both stories have been causing me grief. I keep re-writing sections because I try to write with one pairing in mind, but then stop because so-and-so together is also a good pairing and then I try writing that kind of scenario but then stop again because the first one could still work. Urgh! My brain hurts. I beg you kind readers, please help this struggling author out.

So, the break down is this - I need pairings from a list of these bands:

Dir en Grey, The Gazette, X Japan, Kuroyume, Merry, Luna Sea, SKIN, Sads, Mucc, Noctural Bloodlust, Phantasmagoria, L'arc-en-Ciel, Mejibray, Lynch, Diaura, Sadie, Screw, Alice Nine, Buck-Tick, Nightmare, Pierrot, Born, Malice Mizer, 12012, Plastic Tree, D'espairs Ray, Maximum the Hormone, Girugamesh, Dimlim... Possibly more, but those are confirmed to be used both stories thus far.

I'm not going to say specific names; one because that's long as fuck, but also because I might not use all members of the band. Plus, I don't want to confirm or deny anyone's existence in either story. Not yet at least.

Truly, this journal has truly become a place I run to just to complain about my writing process and flounder around with my plot bunnies. -lol- I apologize audience. Then again - maybe you guys find it interesting to watch, so there's always that...

Anyway~

Today's subject is about #903. For those that don't remember/never read it, it was mostly an NC-17 story I had about Ruki hooking up with Kyo using a stupid game for the sake of the Gazette blowing off steam. Cute story, but it was more of an excuse for me to learn how to write sex scenes. When I first started writing Kyo/Ruki, I honestly didn't know how to write a good sex scene. Nor was I very confident in the few I had written before. It's probably the biggest reason why the UST in OUaK was so long and drawn out. I can admit now that I was afraid of writing the sex scene and making it believable for my readers so I never did for that story. Shame on me, I know. >.>

So! Bringing this back to #903, I actually never had a plot for this story. Like... at all. The most plot I put into the story was in the first chapter when I described the game and that was it. After Kyo and Ruki have their hookup, I literally had no ideas for where the story went afterwards. Because, y'know, I'm a brilliant writer like that. LMAO *smacks self on the head* But I would LOVE to finish #903 and bring it over to AO3 where I've been posting all my works. Meaning: this writer needs to come up with an actually plot for the story to sustain itself. I know there's such a thing as porn without a plot or plot what plot for NC-17 stories, but I feel the chapters I have could actually lead somewhere.


!!WARNING!!

For those that DO NOT want to be spoiled when it comes to the future plot of #903, DO NOT read beyond this line. From here on out I will be divulging the plot and a lot of major spoilers for the story. Read at your own risk!!

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Y'know... Being dramatic and not posting. >D It's a talent of mine. Mwahahaha!!!!

Anyway~

I've come here today to commit writer suicide discuss some things that have been floating around in my mind for the last few days. Maybe even weeks at this point...

I know that OUaK is a beloved story. It's endeared me to a wide audience who were very dedicated to the story, but after coming back to life in fanfiction I've noticed the hype for OUaK isn't as pronounced as a few other stories. I've had three separate people ask about/mention Father's Day to me in recent months and two others ask about Room #903. At this point, it feels almost as if I should just let the story rest, maybe permanently, and focus on other stories and their completion.

What do you guys think?

Should I still rewrite OUaK or push it back for other things? Or should I just... leave it as is? ._.


And about the other stories... I'm actually excited about writing Father's Day again, however... My only real concern is the fact recently I've considered turning the story into an A/B/O fic. Why? Because I really like Kyo as a father and the idea of him and Ruki having a child together just... Ugh. It hits so many of my buttons, you people have no idea. -lol- Again, would that be something people would be interested in reading? Or would you like me to keep the story with the original plot but fix that horrid ending I forced us all to go through? XD Because that ending... Whoo~ That was a rough end. I'm still apologizing about that to this day. /)x(\ Of course, I am crazy so by the time I get around to rewrite Father's Day I might change my mind again and do something else super wacky.



I really do wanna write Father's Day with Papa Kyo and Mama Ru. >.> So please say yes to that.



But, BUT!!! In other news - I've finally moved on from my writer's block and straight into goofy territory. How? I don't know. This latest interlude is supposed to be filled with angst and drama and instead my boys are being cute and fluffy and such dorks. And then there's poor little me behind the keyboard thinking: "NO!! Stop being cute!! I have to break your heart soon! DON'T DO THIS TO MEH~ T_T"

Have I mentioned recently how difficult being a writer is? Because this... *points above, to her posters of gaze and diru, points to self* this is not healthy. For anyone. Least of all me and I'm the one that has to live with it.

It's horrible. -lol-

I. Am. Losing. My. Mind.

-lol-

Not in a bad way or anything like that. More like – I have a million and one ideas floating around in my head. Ideas I want to put down into words and stories, but no matter what I do or work on, there’s just this block right now that’s keeping me from completing or even STARTING these projects.

Argh~

The worst part is trying to work on my Text series and the interludes… *sigh* I need to finish the interlude I have now. My poor story… It’s been left hanging with a partially written final chapter for so long; I don’t know what I’m going to do. What makes it worse is I HAVE to complete the story and write two other interludes before I can work on the project that currently has my muses jumping up and down, practically frothing at the mouth to be written. I guess part of the real reason I’m holding back, or unable to move forward even, is because I know in the next part I’m going to make Ruki extremely sad. He’s going to go through a lot of pain and suffering, their relationship is going to be tested quite harshly, but I need to showcase that pain. This story can’t move forward without loss and pain for Ruki and I hate, hate, HATE the idea of doing it to him. It hurts me just as much to do that to him. T_T

In other news, Once Upon a Time is still on the back burner for me. As if that surprises anyone anymore… @.@ But I have been buckling down on working out where I want to go. I think I’m going to shelve ideas 2 and 3 from my previous post. They’re both good ideas, don’t get me wrong, but I feel the first plot has the best chance of continuing on with the drama, the romance, and a possibility for the Gaze to still be a band. I have a few ideas already floating around about how that could play out and some hurdles Ruki would have to overcome for such a thing to happen.

Pairings, however…

I’ve been thinking a lot about that. It’s probably my biggest issue with the story since I have an overarching plotline now for the story. This is where a third of the drama from the story will be drawn from, so who I pair people up with is important. I don’t think I’m going to go with the one-sided Reituki anymore. Mostly because I feel that’s overplayed? Instead I was thinking about one of the other gaze men having a celebrity love interest that abuses them, emotionally and psychologically, not physically. In that case I was leading more towards Reita or even Uruha being that victim of such a relationship, not quite sure about whom they’d be with just yet – that’s another brainstorm I need to have with myself later. Way later. But I thought the idea of their toxic relationship and seeing the destruction it’s caused his best friend would put Ruki off on considering Kyo as anything more than a friend. Kyo, on the other hand, believes they’re dating as he’s taken Ruki out on, what he considers, multiple dates and that they may be on their way to falling in love. Harsh wakeup call for Kyo when Ruki walks all over those ideas of his, not intentionally, but y’know… These things happen. As for Kai and Aoi… *takes deep breath* I have no idea. -lol- I was considering keeping the Miyavi/Kai, I always thought it was a cute pairing, but if I do the torment Reita/Uruha route I don’t want there to be ANOTHER celebrity couple floating around. Meaning either the two will be single or with OFCs. I’ve briefly considering Kai/Aoi together, but that sort of dynamic doesn’t seem to fit for me or this story. Sorry Kai/Aoi fans. >.<

As for diru – I really like the idea of there being another couple within their band. I’ve always been partial to Die and Shinya together, but I’ve also considered maybe having Toshiya and Shinya together. Don’t worry. Fearless Leader-sama isn’t going to be left out; in fact, after much debate, I’ve decided that he’s still going to get together with OFC or a female celebrity of smaller notoriety. I want Kaoru in this rewrite to have a stable and even mature relationship as a springboard for advice and words of wisdom he tries to aid Kyo with as he fumbles with convincing Ruki to take him serious.

But like I said in the beginning… Everything is sort of stuck in my brain right now. I feel once I get past my reluctance about tackling the angst waiting in the shadows, I can resume my sporadic posting again. But it’s been a struggle.

*throws self down dramatically on the couch* Life as a writer sucks sometimes.

Okay, so it's been some time since I posted saying I was considering rewriting OUaK and I asked if anyone had any feedback for me. I've come to a couple of different decisions about this story, things I want to share on here. Maybe even talk them out if there's no one... *ahem* Anyone who wants to offer a hand in creating the new story.

From here on folks this will be all spoilers. I'm going to go into some heavy detail about major plot points and much more. So if you don't want to have the ending or certain drama to be revealed to you then please, avert your eyes. If you still want to give some advice or suggest something, you can always comment on my previous post which doesn't have any spoilers. Thank you for your time~

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It's been a while.

...

Like a long, long while since I was last here posting. I'm sorry, I'm horrible. Though truly if people are interested, I've been writing a fair amount and posting to my account on AO3 under the name gremlin4. I haven't really done much with my livejournal account mainly because... Well... Is there anyone who even still reads this journal anymore?

Honestly, I fear that answer may be in the single digits. Which is why I'm focusing more on posting to the other website. However! I'm here today because there are a few things I want to ask/discuss if there's anyone out there. *glares into the darkness*

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Title: Text
Author: gremlin4
Genre: Humor
Chapter: 40/??
Pairing: Kyo/Ruki
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language.
Disclaimer: Still don't own them.
Summary: A bunch of text messages between Kyo and Ruki.

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Title: Text
Author: gremlin4
Genre: Humor
Chapter: 39/??
Pairing: Kyo/Ruki
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language.
Disclaimer: Still don't own them.
Summary: A bunch of text messages between Kyo and Ruki.
Notes: Hey, guys! Long time, no see. I just wanted to take a moment to let everyone know that I've started reposting my works on AO3 recently, starting with my Text Series. During the process, I've found myself editing and adding to the old Text chapters for if you guys have a free moment. Otherwise, here's a new chapter that I hope everyone enjoys.

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Hi everyone... Anyone...

*hears crickets in the distance*

Ahem! I just wanted to take a quick moment and let... people know that I am currently in the midst of reposting my Kyoki works on Archive Of Our Own. I really enjoy the format for the website, I feel it's much easier to work with and post on so I wanted to share my stories over there just to spread the love. Kyoki is my OTP and I feel the fandom could really use some new readers even if the material is old. Who knows maybe something new will come about.

Back to the topic at hand!

I'm making this announcement in case anyone is also a member of that website and they happen to see my works being posted over there. Please don't panic, I'm not being plagiarized, it's just me. I kept the same username on AO3 and profile picture so as to cut down on the confusion but I felt a formal statement was in order. Also during this transfer I will hopefully be updating and/or editing my stories and chapters. For the most part, I'm just going to beta read and fix any errors so there won't be much missed there.

The major change is probably going to happen to the Text Series. Even just moving a few chapters over, I couldn't stop myself from adding or changing up certain phrases or lines. Because of that, I will be editing the Text chapters here as well so they reflect those changes. Still for anyone who has already read the series I think it might be a good idea to go over them again. I find Chapter 3 to now be my all time favorite. -lol-