The screwed up part of my life

Foxy's back ya'll, go on, somebody ask me why I'm doing the happy dance.
some random guy "shut up already"
me "you shut up fool, somebody ask me"
some other random guy "if we ask you why will you shut up?"
me "good enough for me, here goes"
everybody in the room "oh god, hes talking again"
some asshole "wheres my gun"
me "shut up and listen, this is good"

So many things are changing right now, all in the last week, listen up, this is cool.
First off I'd like to appologize for being so emo lately, I've been yelled at couple different times lately by a couple furs (no names will be stated, you know who you are, but its ok, foxy doesn't mind)  Foxys changing along with the things that are changing.

I'd also like to forwarn you, this is going to be very long, I turned on my Larry the Cable Guy A Very Larry Christmas album when I started typing this, and it will likely be more than over by the time this is done being written. So without further delay, here goes.

Ok, now lets start with the earliest event, Josh is a changed kitsune. I met someone on Pounced.org thats a pagen, he has many of his own spirits that Josh and I have come to know in the last week, one that used to be Josh's mate, a pink foxy named Pink. Josh met him over 120 years ago and they were happily mated for a long time. When Josh met him, Josh didn't remember him, nor the time they shared together, Josh was tied down to a chair bound by kitsune hairs while Pink and Blue (another 9 tailed kitsune) interogated Josh to try to understand why he was so evil. Josh wound up cooperating with them, and as a reward for his cooperation, Pink was given to him as a pet gift. Little did Josh know who Pink was, so he was very suspicious of this gift, figured there was a hidden ajenda. Of course Josh was right, but he went with it anyway, he was yiffy. After a few hours together, Pink wound up showing Josh a ring that Josh had made for Pink long ago, and they kissed for at least 10 minutes finding themselves after all this time. There was another hidden ajenda hidden in this as well, Pink helped Josh remember his past lives, how Josh got all 9 of his tails, and to later find out, that in one of my past lives, that I myself was a foxy with just one tail.. Before Josh met Pink, Blue set me up with Josh, we quickly became mate, and we loved eachother deeply. We wound up living with a female kitsune with 3 tails, she had 2 kits of her own, one with 2 tails, one with 4. We lived together for a very long time, until a fire in the house we all lived in burned down, killing all 5 of us. Josh wound up getting one of his tails from that event when he was reborn, I wound up staying dead for over 200 years, and the events with Pink occured while I was dead. I was later reborn as a human, my current form, with one single hidden tail that I will recieve when this body dies and I'm reborn again (yay, I'll be a kit like Josh) So now yes, I can't wait to die now, so I can get out of this mortal body and become my true self, but I'm not gonna try to hurry the proccess by suicide, I'll live this life with Josh and my human mate audri (bambiboo3) So don't worry baby, I'm not going anywhere, I'm gonna be with you as long as this body lasts. Josh is now more than my friend, we are mates together, but baby don't worry, he's my spiritual mate, you are my human mate. Josh and I are finally remembering our past lives, odd that we were together in one of those lives, but now I know why he came to me when I was four, he was looking for me for 200 years, and he found me as a human, so now hes here with me until this body dies, then hes gonna follow my soul wherever it goes til I'm reborn in my true form. I guess thats pretty much it for that event, but it feels good that I finally know Josh's perpous here with me.

Next up, my mate, audri should be coming home soon, I'll finally be able to talk to her again after so long. She went on vacation to Mexico with her family and she isn't able to call me out there, her cell phone gets no signal down there, and shes out in the middle of nowhere, no phone, no internet, no real technology. But shes coming home soon, she told me she'd be gone for 3 weeks, and she left on monday 3 weeks ago, so shes gotta be coming back soon. It's gonna be so good to talk to her again, I love my baby. Also, I should be getting my fursuit soon! Yay, my suit, Audri said she was gonna send it out to me when she gets back. It's not complete yet, no foot paws yet, but thats ok, I'll have my head, my arms, hand paws, and my tail, I love my tail. She said shes gonna make me another one because shes being very picky with how mine turns out because shes my mate and all, and she says she can do better, but I'll get both, so I'm pretty happy about that right now. um, I think thats it for that one.

Ok, heres some more good news, I'm going to court today. Yea I know, that doesn't sound like good news, but it actually is. I went to court last month for my little problem listed in one of my other entrys about me getting pulled over in my car that isn't insured regestered and I didn't have a license. Well, my atterney told me that if I get my license and show that the car has been taken care of, they'll drop all the charges on me, and well, Foxy got his lisence on the 6th, sorry for the late update on that, and I have an im log that states that my old roommate is taking the car and doing whatever the hell hes gonna do with it, so its his responsibility now, not mine. So yay, James took the car, I got my license, I'm legal, so now I'm likely gonna get the charges dropped today, so yay, foxys not getting thrown in jail!!!!!!! I would have taken the car with me when I moved out (yes, I moved out, James was a retarded dragon that got way too far dug into debt and he expected me to cover his ass for the rent and I couldn't, and mom made me move back, so I did, been back here for over a month now, but I'm better off here.) but yea, I couldn't take the car with me, it was in too bad of shape to pass inspection and I wasn't gonna be able to get it regestered, so I had to leave it there with james, let him deal with it, fuck it. alright, lets see, what else....

Oh, after court, I'm going to the Buckland Hills mall to go out to dinner with a furfriend of mine from New York. I've been telling him about all the guys I've been with, no love, no mood, no feeling, just random yiffing, and foxy needs more than that. Well, I feel something with this guy, no, hes not gonna be my mate, Audri already took that positon, and hes already mated himself, but we'd be more than friends, ya know what I mean? So yea, hes gonna show me a good time, show me what its supposed to be like, and then maybe later, who knows, its gonna be a good night tonight, thats all I know. I think thats all I can really put out on that subject, lets see, what else...

There is a bit of bad news, its not really bad, and I'm not gonna go all emo over it, but I'm gonna lose my motherboard on my good computer because of an intergrated sound card issue (the mic port is broken and needs repairs) Thankfully the motherboard is still under warrenty through ASUS and I'm gonna have to send it in for repairs. Sadly my laptop isn't wireless and I can't afford a card to make it wireless and I can't be the road block in the hallway like I used to before I moved out, but that doesn't mean I'm losing internet. I wound up making my desktop wireless card work on my old Gateway 2000 computer made in dec. 1996, but its so damn slow its crazy, running a pentium II proccessor at 233 MHz and 256 mb of ram and a 4 mb video card with a 8 gb hard drive. I meet the requirements for XP so I have XP home installed on it, but its just slow as fuck. Feel free to im me, I can still do im and internet browsing, but thats about it. So I'm gonna be bored as fuck for a while, a long while, ASUS sent me an email telling me that its gonna take 10 business days to repair it after they get it, and that doesn't include shipping time back to me, and it said they use FEDEX ground, so like another week added to that likely. I have a few more weeks to send it out, I don't wanna lose my motherboard yet, I wanna play second life and I won't be able to on the Gateway, and the army needs me for now, so I'm not sending it out quite yet. Plus I'm broke right now so I can't afford to send it out yet anyhow, so thats gonna have to wait a little bit. Can someone help me find a cheap way to send it out please? I'm gonna need help with that, so please, any suggestions are deeply appriciated. I guess thats all for that too, thinking if theres anything else to put here....

Well, I guess not, I know this is my longest post in my entire journal, I'm sorry if I bored you out of your mind, but I figured I should let ya'll know that my life is changing for the better. And I was right, Larry the Cable Guy ended a while ago, I'm now half way through Rodnie Carrington King of the Mountains, so its been well over an hour now typing this. My wrists hurt really bad, my left elbow, and my head, so I think I'm gonna stop, I've told you everything I've been through the last week, so now please stop yelling at me for being emo, I'm not emo no more, things are getting too good to be emo now.

So I'm done, I'll try to keep you posted on my life, but writting in my journal is kind of a pain when it gets long like this, and I never know when to shut up, but I will now, thank you much for reading this if you actually did, and I'll see ya'll later.
John, aka, Great Fox, soon to be Great Kit.

Well check me out, I'm back at my parents house in Wethersfield for the weekend and I'll be going to the diner meet in a couple hours. The foxy has to catch up with some of you down there, and I honestly can't wait to get there. I was gonna be going down there with a tail on and all, but I forgot to bring my roommates old tail with me, and I'm not gonna make my mom drive all the way back to my apartment to get it. It wouldn't matter all that much, it doesn't match my fursona. My roommate used to be a wolf dragon hybrid and he has his old wolf tail that he don't wear anymore, but its grey, so it wouldn't match my orange foxy fursona, oh well, no big deal. *Laps up some coffee* mmm, tasty.

If uh, anybody is wondering, I'm doing alright, could be better, gotta go to court on the 21st cuz I couldn't get to court on the 7th, so I had to get a continuance. The foxys got himself a little bit of money, just got back from the bank and I got over $700 sitting in there now, (whoo hoo!!!) sadly though, none of its mine, got to pay the rent and after that, I'll be a broke foxy. Aint that just fuckin great. Work is still screwing me out of my hours so I'm not making much money right now, but some good news has come out of work. Since I'm here visiting my mom, she decided she wanted to do my laundry, and boy I'll tell you what, man she can get a white shirt white again. Its a damn good thing too cuz one of my managers at work told me not to come back til my clothes were clean and presentable again, and well, now they are, so thats all set. I got a few family issues going on right now, but I'd prefer not to get into it here cuz people may actually take the time to read this, (yea right, thats a good one) and I know I can make the entry private and all, I just don't feel like getting into it. If anyone wants to know, feel free to ask me, and I'll decide if I wanna tell you, it kinda depends on who asks, ya know what I'm saying? No offense to anyone, but there are just some people I'd prefer not to read about it. 

Other than that, nothing else is really going on, I mean, my car still isn't regestered or insured yet, and we can all blame my roommate cuz he's the one insuring the car and then I can regester it, its a long story, and I'm gonna be lazy and not go further into it here. If anyone cares, I burned my left paw cutting the grill on Wednesday (cutting the grill = cleaning it) Left a small blister on my ring finger, but it doesn't really hurt anymore, so I'm good. 

But uh, I guess thats all, I'll see some of you later tonight at the diner, should be fun.

Later all, 
John, aka, Great Fox.

A lonely little orange foxy lays in the corner of the room next to the door as people walk past him. He looks up to see the random people walk by, and he whimpers a little bit to see if they would even notice, and of course no one does. As the flow of people begins to increase, he sits up a bit in hopes someone who actually cared much at all would even look down at him as he slowly wags his fluffy orange and white tail. No one even notices he exists as someone steps on his cute long tail. He lets out a yelp and curls his tail back to him gently massaging it to ease the pain. No one hears him yelp, whimper, or even yip when he trys to get someone to notice his sad little self still in the same corner he started in, so he lays himself back down again, curls his fluffy tail up around his face to try to hide the tears that now roll down his furry face. He decides to give up as the people continue to stroll by him still with no response to his lonely calls and crys himself to sleep even though he's been sleeping most of the day waiting for people to show up, but it's not like it makes much of a difference now did it?

Yea, if you can't tell, I'm bloody lonely and depressed, and theres no one for me to talk to, no one really cares anymore now do they? Once, just bloody once in my rotten life, can't I say I have something to live for, I mean shit, my roommate is too busy with his own thing to even notice me at this point, Josh is freakin missing again. Hell, the last time I saw him, he was knocked out cold on my front porch 2 weeks ago, and then he got fox napped by god only knows what, so now I don't have a bloody thing left over here to call my own anymore, just my stuff.

On a lighter note, I might as well add what little good news I have, I finally got me a car, a '91 Honda Civic, it looks like hell, but it drives pretty nice, it gets at least 20 miles to the gallon, and it only cost me $500, so it was cheap but it runs good. Theres only a couple things that are going to need done to it, like the right control arm needs to be replaced so it can stop drifting off to the right ever so slightly, and it needs some fluids in it, kinda needs some new wipers, and the tires are gonna need to be changed in a year or so, but other than that, it's a pretty good car. Only problem is, the seller took his plates back before my roommate and I could get the car regestered, so we can't legally drive the car, but dumbass James missed the bus, so he's driving the car to work and back without a fuckin plate, dumbass mage. So the cars not legal, I been driving it without a lisense so I;m one to talk right? and of course work is still screwing me out of my hours, so I'm not bringing much money home, thankfully my mom is sending me some money so we can scrape by again this month. Oh and here's some fun news, I burned the living shit out of my paw a few days ago, the blister was the size of a half a bar of soap, it still hurts like hell now, and I have to work sometime soon with this thing. The great thing, they made me work with this damn thing for 5 hours the day it happened, they didn't even fuckin care, I'm considering suing McDonalds for neglagents but I doubt that would do much of anything other than make me look like a dumbass.

SO..... I guess thats whats going on, figured maybe somebody would care enough to read it, maybe someone would wanna know how the little foxy is doing, well, for the ones who wanna know, there ya go, for the ones who don't, kiss my ass, I don't care anymore, now I'm gonna go see if I can figure out how to tie a noose for when things get more interesting. Have fun out there you selfish bastards.

Alright, well, for those of you who read my last two posts, I thank you for caring, for those of you that didn't, I don't really care. Right now, I'm sitting here, waiting for a sign of anyone on aim or yim, but, theres no one there anymore. I'm bored, and tired, and hungry, and I have nothing to do, my job won't call me for work anymore, it's a slow week they say, I don't believe a word of it, I think I got fired and they're egging my on, damn hartford temp agency. I'm sitting on $600, and I got no more coming in, so I still can't buy my new laptop yet, so I'm stuck on this fucking broken thing that I can't fix anymore. My new apple laptop is gonna be really nice, but really god damn expencive, around $1300 plus tax, and shipping, so yea, I need a small fortune to get this fucking thing.

Now, I'm gonna talk to menohk, listen man, I understand whats going on with work, it's ok, work must come first, before anything else, gotta bring home the bacon. I understand your work situation, but not much else, I dunno what your living situation is like, nor do I know how things are going for you. I know your dead tired at night, and thats ok, you can take all the time you need to talk to me, don't worry, I'll survive, just as long as I got Josh by my side, and he's not going anywhere anytime soon, he told me that he knows things are getting tough, so he's gonna be sticking around and stay home with me from now on, so it's ok, take all the time you need.

Now, I'm gonna talk to everyone else, I don't know what the hell I did to push all you people away, someone needs to tell me something before I lose my damn mind. I know the new diner meet was a stretch to say the least, but come on, that was like a month ago, let it go. I know most of you aren't even gonna read this because of something as stupid as that, and your not going to acknowowledge my existance anymore. Well, you know what, you people do that, I got better things to worry about. I'm honestly getting tired of trying anymore, so you guys go ahead and do that, I don't care anymore. I only ask one damn thing and nothing more, just tell me what I did to push you away, so I don't do it anymore, thats all I ask, thats it.

I do have more to put here, but I'm tired as hell, and the parents are one they're way home, So I'll have to continue this later, til then.

Well, let me start by saying that yes, Josh is quite interesting, and I feel regardless of whether only one person wants to know, I'll tell everyone about him, your gonna love this.

Ok, now Josh has been my only friend for 15 years, and we've been mates for 6 years now. Now Josh is my spirit fox, um, whats the best way to put this so people will actually understand. Um, Josh is a spirit, a 231 year old spirit fox who got bored of being a roaming spirit for over 200 years, so he decided to settle down somewhere, and when I was 4, on my fourth birthday actually, he came and showed himself to me. Now, being 4, I had no idea what he was, nor did I care, I was lonely as hell, and he wanted to be my friend, what was I gonna tell him, no? I don't think so. For as long as I can remember, I've always been able to see and feel him, just like a normal person, and that's where things may get even more interesting, but lets wait a moment on that. As far as I know, he's been with me ever since that day, but I'm going on what he's telling me, I don't remember anything before I was 6, and there's a large black spot in my memory from the age of 7 to 10, not too sure what happened there.

When I was thirteen, we were friends for almost 10 years, and to be honest, we both wanted more out of this relationship. being thirteen, I had just hit puberty, and I was interested as hell in trying anything, and being mates was a good place to start.  I figured at that point that things were going to change between us, but I wasn't sure. I kept him to myself, and no one, not even my family knew about him, I thought they would think I was crazy. (Turns out I was right, and I never should have told them a damn thing.) My parents always wondered why I would always be talking, even when no one was around, but they never bothered me about it, so he stayed my little secret. I realized at a young age that I wasn't normal, not just because of Josh, but because I had a strange fasination with guys. It took me a long time to realize that I was bi. (Realized it about 3 months ago) I finally asked myself two questions, do I like women, yes, do I like guys, once again yes, so that decided it, I was bi, and I went with it. Now with being bi, you might think it would be easier to get some, but it's not happening yet, at least not with any human person I know. Josh has been bugging me for a couple of weeks to experiment with a sexual relationship, and about a week ago, we did, and we both really hit it off, for 2 and a half hours, but I shouldn't get into that, I seem crazy enough as it is, so moving on.

Now that that's been said, lets see what got me into the furry fandom in the first place, well, I think it went a little something like this.

Now, 2 and a half months ago, I got a new phone with internet, which was cool, I was finally able to learn about stuff, but I had other things on my mind. I went searching for random porn, figured why not, I need new material. I believe it was the 612 google search result, in which I found furry porn, which because of Josh, I was really interested in that, so I went along with it. I pawed off a couple times, and thought nothing of it. A few days later, I thought for a minute while I was chatting with Josh one afternoon, and I wanted to know what a furry was, so I went searching for furries in hopes of finding answers. After a few hours of finding a whole hell of a lot of info that scared the living hell out of me, I finally stumbled upon a 20 questions type article, which was on furries, I figured I would read it and call it a day, (since I was quivering in the corner scared as it was) In this article, I read that some furries have a guiding spirit type thing, like a totem. I thought that that made sense, but I wondered why I couldn't find that before. Well, none the less, I decided to go find the furries, and went to a real computer at the library, which was a terrible idea. The head librarian knew damn well what a furry was, and she looked at me with a scorned look and said, and I quote, "Get the fuck out of my library furfag, I don't wanna see your kind around here, now get out!!" The entire time she was yelling at the top of her lungs, which spread that around the entire building, not good. I gave up for a couple days, and went back to using the phone again.

Oh and yes, I do realize that I'm going everywhere with this, but this stuff needs to be said. but moving on.....

Ok, now like I said I went back to using the phone again, and in a search to learn more about the furries, and I stumbled on LJ on furries, unsure of which comminity I stumbled on there, but it was furry. I read on for a little while, and I found the Town Line Diner meet on the first friday of each month, and it was the next day, and I had no transport. I figured the only way I was going to get to go to this thing was to tell my dad something, something small enough not to seem crazy, but big enough that he would think thats everything. I wound up telling him everything I knew, which actually went well, but he told me that there was no way he was going to take me to this thing unless I told mom, so I did, and she was lost. She didn't understand, but she said I could go anyways, so I didn't care, So I went to the diner meet the next night.

When I was there, I was a little nervous and scared, I didn't know what to expect. I told everyone there that I was straight, which turned out to be a bad idea, since most furries are either gay or bi, but it doesn't really matter. I told no one about Josh, since I thought it might make me look like a lunatic, so I kept it to myself. I had fun, it was an enjoyable experience, so I figured I was furry, but for a different reason, not Josh. I found out there was furry art, which some of it is actually quite good, and I liked it. but that will be for a different post, moving on. 

Well, after the diner meet, I realized that I was furry, and I'm damn proud to call myself furry. I'm still not entirely sure where I fit in this fandom, but I really don't care, I just know that Josh and I are a part of it, and if you don't like it, then fucking sue me, we're here to stay, whether you like it or not. So there!!!!!

Now I realize that this is incredibly long, and I pretty much told you everything that I can about Josh that I'm comfortable making this public, and my history with finding the furries. But I can only say one damn thing, if you don't care about any of this, then you be sure to let me know, maybe then I might stop...... HA yea right, that'll never happen, I'll bitch and moan all I like, I've read other peoples journal just like this, long and bitchy, so thats what I'm gonna do.

I guess I've bitched long enough for now, I started writing this thing around 12:30 this afternoon, and it took me forever to get all these thoughts down, so sue me. I'm done, now go away, shut that damn door, taking a crap!!!

alright, I don't understand whats going on anymore. Between Josh being a pain in my fat ass, always leaving without telling me a damn thing, my family which still thinks I'm a crazy lunatic, and of course, lets not forget the people who won't talk to me anymore, I hate it when people just go silent on me and leave me hangin. Now ok, I understand that being a new fur is a pain in everyones ass, but all I need is someone to talk to, someone who cares. I got a couple of people who are willing to listen to me, but I don't really wanna bog anyone else down with me, I'm not normally like that. I'm just going through some though shit right now, and I need a friend.

For those of you who don't know, Josh is my spirit fox buddy, he's been my friend for 15 years, and my mate for 6. But with him constantly going out and telling me nothing, he's not all too much there for me anymore. If anybody cares about who or what he is, let me know and I'll tell you, he may even decide to join the conversation. But if you don't care, then I don't really care, if you don't wanna know, that's fine.

Now, to menokh, no, your not being online is not adding to my confusion, I'm just working through some really though issues. Believe me when I tell you this, I've been in your situation before, working under the table is a royal pain in the ass, and you have to work really hard. There's only one good thing about it, no taxes.

Um, to Xenafox, You've been great to me, listening to my issues, being there for me, and Josh and I really appreciate it. It's hard to find a good friend like you anywhere, it really is. Josh and I both thank you for being there for us.

I know this is getting lengthy, but I don't care, if your still reading this, then you might wanna stay, there is a little positive stuff to put here.

Alright, um, ok, I have been working for Data Mail in Windsor, working my ass off for minimum wage, saving that money to eventually have someone make me a fursuit, That's not going to help much with my family thinking I'm crazy, but I really don't care, let them think what they want. I got $500 sitting in the bank, just waiting for the opportunity to be spent. I'm getting paid today, should be a little over $100 , I only got to work for 2 days last week because Data Mail didn't need the temps anymore, so I'm still waiting for more work from the temp agency. Um, lets see, what else is there to add here? Oh, I'm finally understanding this whole fursona thing, so I'm coming up with one, I wanna do something in Josh's likeness. Oh, I should also add that I've joined two new communities. Tall Fursuiters and Lift your Tail, (yea, I'm into that, so what?) I'm waiting for lift your tail to accept me into the community so I can get it, but I guess thats a good thing I suppose.
 
Now that that's there, now more bitching. Alright, now, I have no real idea what the furries are really about, yes, I know it's about the art of anthro animals, I've figured that much out, and I really like the art. I've been told by a few people that there is no furries without the art, but I don't know how true that is, maybe some of you guys can clear that up for me.

Um, alright, now my family is going to drive me nuts, my brother George doesn't believe me that Josh is around, but he doesn't believe anything he can't see. I'm not really sure what my other brother Dave is making of anything, I don't even know what he knows, so I'm not going to get into it. My dad is kind of split down the middle, he's more open minded than everyone else and he told me he's not going to question my beliefs, which is good, he's the only one who understands. My mom is still kind of steamed at me with me being bisexual, and she doesn't understand Josh, she thinks I made him up, which really pisses me off. I wonder what she's gonna do when I bring my boyfriend over to the house, that should be interesting.

Um, I guess that's enough bitching for one post, there you go, hope you had fun reading this, I know I had plenty of fun typing it. If anybody cares let me know, and if you wanna chat, feel free, I need a good friend right now anyways.

Are you still here? What the hell, I'm done, get out of here, going to shower, close the door on your way out.

I'm sitting on aim and no one here wants to talk to me, did I do something stupid again? I can't stand not knowing what I did, i mean how can I fix it if I don't know what I did? I just want a few friends, I'm not trying to be an idiot. Well one way or another please tell me something, I need to fix my issues but I can't if no one tells me. Help me help myself.

On a side note, I want to complain and I heard this is a good place so here goes. To be honest I want death to happen right now but I don't want to die. I'm not sure how much sense that makes, I mean I hate the life I live and I want to start over but I don't want to die. I don't know why I hate my life, maybe it's because I'm lonely, maybe I'm horny, who knows. Ok well yes I'm lonely and horny, at 19 I should be. My problem is that I don't know what I want anymore. You know what I mean, I think I may be bisexual and I don't know how to approach that. I don't know what to make of any of what's going through my mind right now, I think I may just be stupid and I got nothing to do so I over analyze everything. As for the lonely part, well there isn't anyone out there I can meet, sure online chatting is ok, but I like to look at the person I'm talking to. Well regardless I just want stuff that I can't explain very well but I hope what I just wrote makes some kind of sense.

Also I want to know if anyone really what's to know about my past or not, I'll likely still put it up but I just want to know if anyone cares. It might run a little long but if you want to know leave a comment or a message or if you want to chat, I'm here.

Thanks Ya'll for putting up with me! 

Ok this is my first post in my journal and I know it should be something huge but you know what, I don't think it is. I like meeting new people and all but some of them are just plain odd. Now I know better than to put in names so I won't but damn there is way too much drama. Now I know I put some drama into this before but I didn't know what I was doing, hell I wasn't even at my house. For some reason i don't think I'll ever be able to live that down but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try.

Now when I say confusing I mean I just don't get it anymore. (Not that I ever really did but now it's getting worse.) I want to get to know people who like to chat about the normal aspect of the furries, (if there is one.) and I guess people like that are hard to find. How come I can't get a hold of someone who is normal to some extent. I know there is no normal in  the world of furries but one can hope right?

Well what more can I say, I don't know where to go to get what I want but I hope I can find it here. Um also I'm looking for a place to unload my problems and I don't want to do that to anyone because I know no one wants to know about my issues. If there is a good place for that, let me know, I can't keep doing this.

Oh well I got nothing else so that's it, see ya for now.